Beauty has a lot of bad thoughts

Just now, the boy who was singing and cheering himself up in a balloon, suddenly cried like this.It was as if his balloon had been punctured, and a straw fell out of it, adding a new burden to his already overwhelmed body.

Xue Dingbang hugged his trembling body, stroked his back gently and slowly, patiently waiting for him to calm down.

"That's great, Dingbangsang..." Chris Maeda had cried enough, raised his weeping little face, and the affection in his eyes was stronger than ever before, "You will accompany me all your life Is it? Dingbangsang, will you really be with me for the rest of your life???"

Xue Dingbang closed his eyes and said softly: "Chris, that's just..."

"Lie to me! You lie to me!" Maeda Chris grabbed Xue Dingbang's collar, trembling with excitement, "Just treat me as lying to me, just this time, okay? Say you will stay with me ,lifetime……"

Xue Dingbang picked up Chris Maeda's body and put him on the picnic cloth: "Chris, you can't keep paralyzing yourself like this."

"That's not the case, I might not be able to persist?" Maeda Chris smiled wryly, tilting his head to look at Xue Dingbang, "Dingbangsang, do you want me to like you, or do you want me to leave you? But no matter what your decision is, Now I want you to say that you will be with me. I am really, always lonely. Only when Dingbangsang is around, I am not so lonely."

"Chris, there will be someone to accompany you for the rest of your life." Xue Dingbang held his face and wiped his tears with his thumb, "We should be happy when we come out to look at the stars today, right? Just for a while, You cried twice. Come, tell me, why are you crying?"

"Because... I think this song is just about me." Maeda Chris was a little sad, "I don't look good when I cry, right? I listen to Dingbangsang, I won't cry!" He wiped himself off With tears on his face, he showed a forced smile, "I have been in a state of flux since I was born. Speaking of which, Dingbangsang might not believe it... I haven't slept in a quilt until I was six years old!"

Xue Dingbang's heart seemed to be pricked by a needle, it shrank and jumped rapidly, as if it wanted to jump out of the chest cavity to escape the sharp pain.

"Chris..." Xue Dingbang sighed, "No matter how dark your past is, it is the past. Just like this dark night, as long as you get through it, the dawn will come. You are fine now, and that is enough. Prove that you Those old nights are over."

"Dingbangsang, I think this song is to encourage me." The fire light flickered on Chris Maeda's face, his empty eyes lost their luster, as lifeless as two stones, "I was born in Tokyo. Just In a small clinic in Kabukicho, my mother said that the day I was born was very cold, and I am a child of winter, so I am not afraid of the cold."

"Then are you afraid of the cold?" Xue Dingbang asked him.

"Afraid!" Chris Maeda had tears in his eyes and eagerly grabbed Xue Dingbang's knee, "For a little warmth in the world, I can do anything! My mother never told me who my father was. She is a She is a wine girl, and I am a burden! When I go to work, put me in a basket and put me in the rest room."

Xue Dingbang touched his hand holding his knee, and said in a deep voice: "You are not a burden, Chris. You are the moon in the world, the galaxy in your dream. You are welcome, Chris."

"That's right! I'm a kid from Kabukicho, and I'm very popular with big sisters." Maeda Chris lowered his eyelids and said in a sad tone, "Before I was 14, everything I saw and heard was love in that world." Hate entanglements. We moved a lot and rarely lived in one place for more than three months. When I was four, she finally got tired of me and dropped me in the country."

Xue Dingbang stroked the back of his hand silently, and patted him lightly to express his comfort.

"My grandfather lives in the country, and he doesn't like me very much. He's an old farmer with serious expression and rigid thinking." His fingertips rubbed against Xue Dingbang's knee, trembling slightly, "The day I went, it was snowing heavily. In my world, the only mother who didn't change also changed. She abandoned me and disappeared into the snow."

"My grandpa told me that I have to work so that I can eat. He asked me to collect firewood and bring him meals. When I grow up, I have to help him plow the ground and chop firewood for him." Chris Maeda continued, "At that time, I was four years old, and I was not as tall as firewood! When I was five years old, my mother would go back to the countryside in the winter, bringing her new boyfriend with her."

"Grandpa asked me to collect firewood, and they were going to chat in the house. I went out alone, slid down the slope, and immediately knew nothing! When I woke up, it was already dark. No People came to me, only the whistling wind, and howling wolves. It was a terrible day, dark and cold, and I was very scared. I ran home alone, and grandpa saw me coming back and asked me why No firewood?"

Speaking of this, Chris Maeda raised his head and showed a bitter smile: "Where can I find firewood? I almost died in the mountains! But he only cares about why I didn't bring firewood back! When I went back, my mother left too! She Don't even care why I didn't come back!"

"Am I so redundant?"

"Am I no match for a bundle of firewood?"

The suppressed emotions will not go away.It will only explode when it is unbearable.

Xue Dingbang lowered his eyes and looked at Maeda Chris who was lying on his knee and crying bitterly.

"I'm so sorry to be born in this world!"

"Sometimes, I really want to end this humble, hopeless, worthless and boring life!"

Xue Dingbang silently stroked the hair on the back of Chris Maeda's head, staring at his trembling thin shoulders.

"It was Dingbangsang who ignited the flame in my heart. I may never meet someone like you again." Chris Maeda grabbed Xue Dingbang's sleeve, supported his body, and approached Xue Dingbang, "Cheat me once, okay? Tell me Me, you will be with me all my life."

His breath was warm, bitter with tears.Xue Dingbang held his face, gently kissed his tears away: "I will be with you, Chris."

The moonlight is dim, and the galaxy is bright.The stars outlined their figures, shining brightly, shining in the corners of Chris Maeda's eyes and brows.He lowered his eyebrows and lowered his eyes, as calm as water.The night wind swept over the ends of his hair, drying the tears at the corners of his eyes.The shadow of the whirling tree swayed in the wind, making a rustling sound.A young leaf curled up and fell on his shoulder.

Xue Dingbang picked up the leaf, and stared at the withered leaf that had just begun to germinate.

Chris Maeda raised his eyes, as if there were stars reflected in the dark night sky.His warm breath came to his face, offering those soft and moist lips.

When he was less than one centimeter away from Xue Dingbang, he stopped.There are too many inexplicable emotions in the sad eyes.

Xue Dingbang looked down at him, the always hot and bold Siren showed fear and hesitation for the first time.

"Dingbangsang, I actually..."

Every hair on his body trembled in the night wind.

"It's the first time I fell in love with someone..."

Gently breathing, being sucked into the whirlwind of the wind.

His body temperature, his warmth, and his love are conveyed to Xue Dingbang through trembling lips, quickened breathing, and careful touch.

The dim light of the campfire illuminated his body, and every tiny hair on his body was shining.

Xue Dingbang reached out to hug his slender body, grabbed his trembling shoulders, and climbed up.The hair is soft and smooth, filling every corner of Schrödingbang's fingers.

That's it.

At that moment, the thought that suddenly popped up in Xue Dingbang's heart occupied everything.

They embraced each other, over each other's shoulders, fingers touching.

There is no need to think about the chaos of the world, the ups and downs of the sea of ​​suffering, the things that cannot be figured out, the hurdles that cannot be overcome, and the people who cannot be forgotten.

As long as this is the case, each other brings warmth to each other with body temperature, and comforts each other with kisses.

Without any other meaning, just this thing, this act itself, can bring enough peace.

It is almost sacred and solemn, giving each other the strength to walk in the world, and the most sincere and beautiful blessings.

"Chris..." Xue Dingbang let go of those thin hands, and Chris Maeda had stopped trembling.

"Dingbangsang..." Chris Maeda opened his eyes, and that pretty face was full of sweetness and determination.The lonely and helpless child a few minutes ago has grown up in an instant and has the power to fight against the world.

From those half-closed lips, Xue Dingbang understood what he didn't say.

Again.

Humble souls are thus redeemed.Its humble disciples kneel before the warm light.

We are born in this world, after all, we cannot resist loneliness.

The campfire crackled, warming the body and lighting the darkness.

Early the next morning, Xue Dingbang stood in front of the viewing platform, supporting the railing with both hands.The clouds and mists in the distance rise up from the bottom of the canyon, and the rising clouds and smoke are swaying like the skirts of the mountains.

Last night, they slept together.

Chris Maeda wrapped himself in a sleeping bag like a silkworm baby, and Xue Dingbang sat cross-legged beside him, doing to him what he and Yin Ren used to do before going to bed.

Read to sleep.

Except for Yin Ren, it was the first time that Xue Dingbang read to others.He didn't bring a book, so he randomly found a book from the online library and read it to Chris Maeda.

What I read was—"Ali Shalin and the Slave Jumanli", from "The Arabian Nights".

Some of the plots were too bold, which made Chris Maeda blush.He stretched out his fingers and lightly fiddled with Xue Dingbang's protruding hand bones, his voice was louder than a kitten: "Dingbangsang, can you also hold my hand?"

Xue Dingbang did so, but the kitten suddenly became playful again.

Zhu Manli in the story is not as bold and passionate as him.

Maeda Chris's nimble skill allowed him to get out of the sleeping bag without any effort.He leaned over, with a pair of thin arms wrapped around its owner's neck.

The light of his hurricane lamp flickered in his beautiful eyes, and pleading words came out of his mouth with soft breath: "Let's sleep in a sleeping bag, shall we?"

"Yin Ren and I will not be like this." Xue Dingbang said.

But then, Chris Maeda's words made Xue Dingbang speechless.

The author has something to say:

Chris Maeda: Watching the stars with Dingbangsang is so fun!

Xue Dingbang: Me too.

Chris Maeda: It would be even happier if we could sleep together!

Xue Dingbang: ...