Beauty has a lot of bad thoughts

After tidying up the old house for a few days, the situation improved little by little under Chris Maeda's hard work.

What makes Maeda Chris feel distressed is not the damage to the old house, nor the regret that he was not around when his grandfather passed away.It's not even that he hasn't thawed his relationship with his mother so far.

It was Xue Dingbang who made Chris Maeda's heart ache unbearably.

It was Xue Dingbang who ignored him, ignored him, and rarely responded to those around him.

Xue Dingbang's condition has been extremely bad these days.It is not so much a living thing as it is a walking dead.

In just a few days, Xue Dingbang's appearance became almost unrecognizable to Chris Maeda.The chin is unshaven, there are thick dark circles under the eyes, and the cheeks have become dry and thin...

On June [-], if Schrödingbang stood under the Las Vegas sun, Chris Maeda would not fall in love with him.

But now, in the autumn sunshine of Karuizawa, standing such Schrödingbang will only make Maeda Chris love him more.

This love, as time goes by, grows day by day.Especially thinking that Xue Dingbang became like this because of himself, the self-blame and suffering in Chris Maeda's heart made him unable to let go of Xue Dingbang even more.

Well said, I want to give you happiness.

But it turned out like this, I'm really sorry.

Maeda Chris kept repeating these two sentences in his heart, but he couldn't say it to Xue Dingbang.Xue Dingbang took him to the town and paid the water and electricity bills.Since there was no gas connection at home, the first thing he did when he got home was to collect firewood on the mountain in the backyard of his home.

There is a large woodland behind the house, with many Japanese hemlocks and red pines.Especially the red pine woodland, which extends from the mountainside to the top of the mountain.On the way back from picking up firewood, Chris Maeda picked up some rare mountain fungi.

"Dingbangsang!" As soon as Chris Maeda came home, he jumped up to Xue Dingbang, and presented the few mushrooms he picked up to Xue Dingbang like offering treasures, "Look, I picked up shiitake mushrooms! Tonight Let's eat mushroom rice, shall we?!"

Xue Dingbang still didn't answer, just stared blankly at the things in Chris Maeda's hand.

"The house is also cleaned up. I told the people in the village's agricultural association to let them come over the day after tomorrow." Chris Maeda walked around the house barefoot, looking for what he wanted, and talking to Xue Dingbang, "Tomorrow we You can go up the mountain to pick matsutake! It’s already October! This issue should be the last matsutake this year. I don’t know if I can find it!”

Xue Dingbang quietly looked at Chris Maeda, who was immersed in the memory, and did not answer.

Maeda Chris sat down on his own, cupping his cheeks with his hands, looking at the forest behind the backyard: "In the past, every time I went back to my hometown in autumn, my grandpa would stretch his face... He must not like me, right? I thought so at the time. Because he would cook me matsutake rice! Ah, the trouble is back, it’s annoying that he’s going to eat the precious matsutake, isn’t it?”

Chris Maeda shook his head and laughed self-deprecatingly: "Well, I was young and ate a lot. The more this happened, the more he looked at me fiercely! Then he yelled at me—you ate too much !!! Haha, he is really a stingy old man! Right? Actually, I only found out later... In fact, he... still has a little bit of love for me, right?"

"Otherwise, why don't you eat the freshly picked matsutake and have to keep it until I come back?" Chris Maeda said, wiping his eyes with his sleeve rudely, "What else did you say on your mouth——Damn guy, I haven't You eat matsutake, eat it gratefully! Thank me, but I won't appreciate it!"

"What a weird guy! This strange old man!"

"Maybe..." Chris Maeda couldn't hold his hands any longer, lying on the table, looking at the red pine forest with tears in his eyes, "Isn't he hating me as much as he said? Otherwise, why would he take me to pick matsutake and say—— Men just want to work! They also said that in the future, I won’t be able to hang out outside, and I won’t even be able to plant the land when I go home, so what else will I do?”

Xue Dingbang seemed to have heard what Chris Maeda said, but also seemed not to have heard it.He raised his face with a blank expression, and followed Maeda Chris' gaze with his empty eyes.

Chris Maeda wiped away his tears, raised his head and said, "Well! Don't worry about these shitty things! I don't want to farm! I still have a lot of things to do! Anyway, the 'stubborn old man' Maeda Takesaku has already You are dead! From now on, I will be the master of this mountain and this land! You should think carefully about how to deal with them after inheriting them!"

A gust of wind blows, and the red pine forest rustles.It seems that in a place that the living cannot reach, those relatives who have passed away are responding to the world.

Kris Maeda stared blankly at the woods for a while with his face held back.

"Ah, I should chop wood!" As if suddenly remembering something, Chris Maeda slapped his knees and stood up.Under the bright electric light, the tears on his face could not be concealed at all.

All the damp wood in the backyard has been removed and replaced with fresh wood piled under the eaves.Chris Maeda wore a pair of thick line gloves, skillfully split one fire after another on the stake.

The ax was rusty and dull.Chris Maeda did not chop firewood very smoothly. It was dark before he could get out a small bundle of firewood.Holding the firewood, Chris Maeda carried them to the hearth in another house.

Sure enough, just like period dramas, the hearth stoves used by people in the Jianghu era still exist in Japanese farmhouses.

Chris Maeda lit a fire and fetched another pot of water.There is an iron hook on the ceiling, connected to two thumb-thick iron rods, which are used to hang the pot.In the clear water, put canned food, shiitake mushrooms picked today and washed, as well as edible vegetables picked from our own fields.

Next to the hearth, a few roasted rice sticks were inserted.Rice sticks are made of ready-made rice paste, worn on small sticks, and baked next to the fire.

After a while, there was the smell of roasted rice, and Maeda Chris's saliva almost drooled because he hadn't eaten well in the past few days.

Xue Dingbang was still the same, just staring at the flame in front of him in a daze.

Chris Maeda feeds him food and he eats it.Chris Maeda wiped his mouth, and he didn't object.Chris Maeda kissed the roasted rice sticks off the corner of his lips, and looked at him eagerly, but he still didn't respond.

It was not easy to have running water, but Chris Maeda did not have a modern bathtub in his home.All he had at home was the wood-burning, old-fashioned Japanese bathtub.The stove outside is connected to the bathtub inside. The bathtub must be filled with water first, and then firewood is burned outside to heat the water.

Not enough firewood to chop today for them to use the bathtub.

Chris Maeda only boiled hot water, used wooden barrels and basins, and bathed Xue Dingbang first.

Chris Maeda's gentle and dexterous hands filled Xue Dingbang's hair with foam.Then, wash Schrödingbang's body with warm hot water.After washing Xue Dingbang, Maeda Chris washed himself deliciously and returned to Xue Dingbang.

Since Xue Dingbang came out, he has been sitting in the corridor with a towel on his head.He looked up at the hazy moonlight and listened to the beautiful sound of the autumn wind in Karuizawa.The weeds in the yard were quite tall, and unknown bugs were singing happily.The trees swayed, and there was the sound of waves like waves.The wind chimes hanging under the eaves are jingling by the wind.

Chris Maeda came out of the bathroom and listened to the sound of the wind chime, feeling a little emotional: "This thing was left when I left home in the summer when I was 14. I came back and saw that my grandfather still hung it here, It really shocked me! I wiped it clean and put it back on again! Well, although summer is over, I don’t know why, but I still don’t want to take it off.”

Xue Dingbang blinked, probably understanding Maeda Chris's mood.

It's like—a pocket watch that has been broken, a relationship that can no longer be repaired.Even if it is useless, it is still reluctant to throw it away.After all, that used to be one of the most important and important things to me.

Chris Maeda knelt behind Xue Dingbang and hugged his body.His nimble hand passed through Xue Dingbang's armpit and clasped Xue Dingbang's shoulder.His shy and hot little face was gently placed between Xue Dingbang's neck.He opened his lips lightly, and his soft and sweet voice made it impossible to refuse, nor could he bear to refuse.

If it was before, Xue Dingbang would have thought that Chris Maeda might have made some intimate requests such as "hug me".

But now, under such a beautiful and warm moonlight, in such a gentle and peaceful night.Chris Maeda's enthusiasm turned into tenderness.

"Can I blow your hair?" he said.

Xue Dingbang once again acquiesced to Chris Maeda's request.

Xue Dingbang, who was sitting in the corridor, was like a doll, let Maeda Chris play with it.The hands with slightly cool fingertips passed through his hair, blowing his wet hair dry, exuding a pleasant shampoo fragrance.

And in the hair of Chris Maeda, the same fragrance is also exuded.

That night they lay together again.

Chris Maeda did not hug him directly, but turned his back to Xue Dingbang, sobbing softly.

Back in Karuizawa this time, Maeda Chris still has a lot of things to do, and there are still many things that he needs to care about and worry about.But what worries and worries him the most is the man around him.

The huge invisible pressure, the homesickness that is so strong that it cannot be resolved, the helplessness of losing a loved one, the regret of the unfinished business... Also, Xue Dingbang's indifference to him, and his indifference to everything in the world... All things, all of them, have become The tears that made people cry in the dead of night flowed endlessly like a rushing river.

Chris Maeda suppressed his crying, bit the quilt and trembled all over.He soaked a large piece of the quilt, and then slowly relieved his emotions, turned around and hugged Xue Dingbang's still cold body, and nestled in Xue Dingbang's arms.

Xue Dingbang moved, and Chris Maeda tensed his back muscles in fright, and quickly apologized: "I'm sorry, Dingbangsang, are you cold? I'm here to warm you now, come here, get closer. The autumn in Karuizawa is already It's pretty cold, um..."

Xue Dingbang reached out and hugged Chris Maeda, and clasped his back waist with warm hands.

Chris Maeda turned pale with fright, widened his eyes, and carefully looked at the man in the darkness: "Dingbangsang?"