perfect out of control

It was past one o'clock in the morning when Chen Bohan called, and Tan Zhen called Sheng Ye after hanging up the phone, and also sent a WeChat message, but there was no reply.

Seeing his solemn expression, Tan Qian asked, "What are you going to do?"

Tan Zhen turned around and picked up the denim jacket on the chair: "I'm going back to Fushan Villa, you can delay for me, don't let mom read those news online."

Just as Tan Qian was about to speak, she suddenly swallowed her words, the balcony door was pushed open, and her mother got up at some point, she opened the door and frowned and looked at them both: "Why are you still awake so late?"

"Oh," Tan Qian patted Tan Zhen's back calmly, "I chatted with him about my childhood, I didn't notice it was so late, so I fell asleep."

Scanned up and down by his mother's suspicious eyes, Tan Zhen nodded silently.He is an actor, so he should easily conceal the anxiety on his face, but I don't know if he has succeeded.

Wu Liang glanced at the two siblings: "It's almost two o'clock, don't stop chatting as soon as you start."

After she finished speaking, she took the door and left.Tan Zhen kept watching his mother's back disappear at the end of the corridor. Tan Qian pulled his arm and said in a low voice, "Go back to sleep for a while, and talk about it tomorrow morning. If you don't see anyone in the middle of the night, Mom will be suspicious, and I will do it too." I can't bear it."

Tan Zhen still stared at the direction where his mother left. After a long time, he said in a dark voice, "How can I sleep now?"

Tan Qian sighed: "Let's go early tomorrow, you said you were going to pick up your friends, and remember to change your clothes when you leave." She lightly patted Tan Zhen's arm, "Listen to me."

Tan Zhen closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he had no choice.

In just one night, for a few hours, it was like a year. He leaned against the bedside, guarding the mobile phone that had no response, sleepless all night.At 05:30 in the morning, it was still dark, he couldn't wait any longer, got up and left a message for Tan Qian, changed his clothes quickly, and went downstairs quietly.

When the door was pushed open, the lights in the room suddenly turned on, and then Tan Qian's voice came from the second floor: "Mom, why did you wake up so early..."

Tan Zhen closed his eyes resignedly and stopped.He turned around and looked up to see his mother standing at the stairs in her pajamas, looking at him coldly from a height.

Tan Qian also stood at the stairs, looking at the two, not knowing what to do.It seems that my mother should already know that my mother has been suffering from insomnia for some time. She has learned to go to Weibo, and when she can’t sleep, she will go to check it out. She will check Tan Zhen’s Weibo every day, search for According to the news, it is clear that Tan Zhen has no obvious contact with Sheng Ye, and he spent most of the vacation time with his family, but she seems to be even more disturbed, already a little dazed.

"It's so early, where are you going?" Wu Liang asked.

Tan Zhen was wearing a black shirt with a thin silver pendant on his neckline. He said, "Today is a birthday party."

This outfit is indeed going to a party, Wu Liang half-believingly said: "Isn't your birthday party at night?"

Tan Zhen glanced at Tan Qian and said, "I'm going to pick up a friend."

"What friend?"

"...Director Tang Qin."

Wu Liang's expression loosened a little: "Really?"

"real."

Wu Liang frowned and looked at him. There was no flaw in Tan Zhen's tone and expression, but it was his calm and calm appearance that made her uneasy.

Tan Zhen sighed calmly, and said, "I have nothing else to do, so I'll leave first."

"Tan Zhen," Wu Liang called him again, Tan Zhen stopped, and Wu Liang said in a deep voice, "Are you still seeing him?"

Tan Zhen was startled, but calmly did not show his feet.

"What does he mean by posting this Weibo?" Wu Liang asked again.

"How would I know?" Tan Zhen said.

Tan Qian also sweated for Tan Zhen. Tan Zhen's attitude was somewhat negative, and they couldn't figure it out.And the mother was still asking aggressively: "You really don't know why he posted this Weibo?"

"I really don't know," Tan Zhen said, "I can't control other people's hands either."

"...Then how do you feel when you see it?"

Tan Zhen was silent for a moment, then said: "He has a very good literary talent." After speaking, he opened the door and left.

***

Chen Bohan hesitated all night, but still couldn't sit still. He didn't need to be so embarrassed to change someone, but that was Tan Zhen, the person Tan Zhen wanted to protect.He was angry with Tan Zhen for being a good person, and angry at him for helping Sheng Ye with no bottom line. He didn't know what ecstasy soup Sheng Ye had given Tan Zhen, and he caused trouble for Tan Zhen more than once. A posture to protect to the end.

Then he thought of Sheng Ye again and thought he was a lunatic, but he had to admit that Sheng Ye was a very talented actor.

As a manager, he really doesn't know what aura is, but he can understand it after looking at Tan Zhen. If he is not really so talented and has aura, is it worthy of Tan Zhen to treat him so differently?

Instead of going to Xiyuan to discuss it, he called Ruan Yan to ask for her opinion. Ruan Yan suggested to contact Jie Ping'an: "Isn't this letter written about Kong Xinghe and Yan Fei? Let the mediator do me a favor and just say this." It’s the letter in the script and it’s over.”

Chen Bohan suddenly became enlightened, he didn't expect such a tangled matter to have such an easy solution.

But Sheng Ye has never responded to those questions. Would it be a bit fake for the intermediary to clarify at this time?

Ruan Yan shrugged: "If Sheng Ye doesn't cooperate, then there's nothing I can do."

Chen Bohan had a headache again.

Ruan Yan said: "Boss, this matter has nothing to do with us, we just ignore it, and ignoring it is the best clarification."

Chen Bohan fell silent.

***

Sheng Ye sat alone in the living room of the empty villa, half of the red wine on the table was drunk, he thought that the red wine would not get drunk, but it turned out that he only got drunk slowly.The villa is so big, with everything from a private cinema to a piano, but it seems that there is nothing, no Tan Zhen, no Jackson, only a mobile phone that keeps sending bad news to accompany him.

Xiyuan called him several times, but he didn't answer. He knew what Xiyuan wanted to say to him, and he understood everything. He just hoped that one day, Tan Zhen's birthday, would let him do it. He does what he wants, says what he wants to say.

He was even more afraid to answer the phone calls from Tan Zhen, and he didn't even dare to look at WeChat.

On Weibo, Tan Zhen’s fans called him crazy, they told him not to touch Tan Zhen, told him to get away, scolded him for being disgusting, scolded him for selling corruption to the point of insanity, and many people he didn’t know ran away All kinds of explicit hints that he is gay come out.

Because Tan Zhen's fans attacked him, his fans also began to attack Tan Zhen. Although they were hard to match in numbers, they fought back with fists.He thought they probably hated him, but he couldn't bear to scold him, so he turned all his anger on Tan Zhen.

Only Zhenye's Chaohua seems to be the only pure land in the world.The Zhenye girls felt sorry for him and waited all night, waiting for Tan Zhen to say a word.

Sheng Ye threw away his mobile phone and collapsed on the sofa. After an unknown amount of time, he heard the sound of the door opening in a trance.

He sat up, squinted his slightly drunken eyes, and saw Tan Zhen walking in. He stopped at the entrance without changing his shoes. One of them was on the sofa and the other was in the entrance, looking at each other from a distance in silence.

Sheng Ye tried his best to support himself, Tan Zhen also came over, took away the red wine and wine glasses on the coffee table, Sheng Ye stretched out his arms to grab the wine bottle, they were all stunned, the grasping and grasping seemed to return to I left the stuffy and cramped room where Kong Xinghe and Yan Fei lived in "Stable Structure".

Sheng Ye grasped the wine bottle vigorously, looked up at Tan Zhen, but Tan Zhen was not Yan Fei, he didn't let go, but asked, "Why do you want to do this?"

Sheng Ye had no choice but to let go of the bottle, lowered his head, and let out a sleepy sigh.

Tan Zhen frowned and looked at him: "Do you know that this will ruin you?"

Sheng Ye gave a weak laugh, stared at the black reflection of Tan Zhen on the coffee table, and asked naively and fearlessly: "Why? Then I can't be an actor?"

"Your career is on the rise now, don't do stupid things, okay?" Tan Zhen said, his eyes were full of regret.

"Brother Tan Zhen, I don't understand what you said," Sheng Ye raised his head, looked at him, and said to this man from the bottom of his heart, "I like acting not because I want to be popular, I don't want to be popular at all, I just I like to enter those roles and experience their lives. Sometimes I also feel that maybe my emotions are too much, and I can’t handle them alone. These roles are the outlet of my emotions, and they rescued me.” Tan Zhen did not Speaking, Sheng Ye always felt that Tan Zhen understood him, but now he is a little uncertain, "Whether popular or not is not important to me at all, I don't care about fame and popularity at all, brother Tan Zhen, do you understand?" ?”

Tan Zhen looked at him and said, "I understand."

There was a moment of silence between the two, and Sheng Ye looked at him sadly: "But you don't think that way, none of you think that way."

Tan Zhen hesitated to speak, feeling the bitterness spread in his mouth.

Sheng Ye tilted his head and smiled wryly: "It's not right, what you think is no longer important, you already have to bear those halos and reputations, but..." He said, "I'm really tired like this, I feel that I I can't hold on anymore."

"Shengye..."

"Brother Tan Zhen," Sheng Ye interrupted him, and said softly, "Let's forget it."

Tan Zhen thought he had heard it wrong, so he blinked his eyes and asked in confirmation, "...what do you mean forget it?"

"That's the one." Sheng Ye said wearily.

Tan Zhen froze and became speechless. The boy who said to him "Brother is right", called him "Brother Xishi", and played rainbow farts around him, suddenly wanted to say goodbye to him, it seemed absurd .But Sheng Ye's expression was serious.It seemed that he was still in the gentle country one second, and was thrown away by the people around him regardless of the next second.But he quickly figured it out, all this seemed premeditated, he missed too many signals, and was finally punched awake at this moment.

What should I do, he thought in a panic, what else can he say, what can he do, can he still struggle to his death?

"...Can't you hold on a little longer for me?" he said.

For the me that you have liked for so long, whether it is your idol, your senior brother, or your Yan Fei, everything is fine.

Sheng Ye didn't say a word, he also wanted to persevere for this person. He thought that he could do anything for Tan Zhen. Tan Zhen was his star, his sun, and his dream. Overestimate yourself.

Tan Zhen said: "I know that you are wronged by dating me, and I also know that I have not done enough. The time I spend with you is too short, and I have done too little for you..."

Sheng Ye shook his head: "It's not your fault, brother Tan Zhen, you have done enough for me, it's my problem, I didn't even dare to dream of having someone before, but now I have it, but I don't think it's enough, I always want more, always restless, always suspicious," he raised his head, "Don't spoil me, I'm really afraid that you will keep lowering your bottom line for me, and one day I will destroy you."

My current state is like a time bomb, and I don't know when I will detonate.

"No," Tan Zhen said, "we'll all be better together."

It must be like this, think about the movies we acted in together, the awards we won together, think about our hugs at the award ceremony, I beg you Sheng Ye...

"Brother Tan Zhen," Sheng Ye interrupted what he hadn't said, and said with red eyes, "Please Brother Tan Zhen, you don't know how difficult it is for me to refuse your request. I'm always fighting each other in my mind. I know that I want to be with you, but I also know that once I compromise again, I will continue to face this kind of life. I have thought about it for a long, long time. Every time I see you, I am reluctant and retreat. I can’t Let's go on like this."

Tan Zhen felt extremely uncomfortable when he saw him: "Did I really make you suffer so much?"

Sheng Ye was silent. This question was cruel to Tan Zhen, but not cruel to himself. How could he admit that the person who made him suffer so much was the person he loved the most.

"If," Tan Zhen said, "I said that day that I would introduce you as my boyfriend, if..." He choked up for a moment, trying to think of everything that could be redeemed, "If I responded to your WeChat yesterday Bo, if I took you to your favorite island and Prague, would you still tell me these things today?"

Sheng Ye was silent, he didn't know whether he wanted the island, Prague, or Tan Zhen's frank introduction at the party.At this moment, the phone's WeChat suddenly rang, a series of beeps, and the red numbers that popped up were all negative news. He turned off the phone, put his hands on his thighs, and said calmly: "Brother Tan Zhen, even if we Together, it will make many people unhappy, it seems that they always get more abuse than blessings, people who like you scold me, people who like me scold you, it seems that it is painful no matter what, I think..." He put He lowered his voice, "I want to have a try, whether taking a step back can really open up the sea and the sky."

Tan Zhen was silent for a long time, and finally pulled his eyes away, looking at the sky outside the window, will it?He thought, did Sheng Ye really become happier and better with him?No matter how much he plans for his career, that's not what Sheng Ye really wants. If he is really in such pain, is it really love him to tie him up?

Knowing that it is impossible for the family to agree to them being together, why are you still reluctant to give up?He always convinces himself that there will be a way, as long as they are still together, one day the clouds will open and the moon will shine.

In the name of love, he acts selfishly.

The sky outside the window is so vast, compared with the sky, he is not worthy of this love, maybe he should really let go.

He came over, put the hot wine bottle back on the coffee table, squatted down, and looked up at Sheng Ye.

Sheng Ye also looked at him, this "Prince of Melancholy" who fascinated him so much and caused so many people to fall, is now kneeling in front of him on one knee, dressed in black and turned into a knight.

"Do you still want to hear it?" Tan Zhen said, his voice almost choked up, "Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini No. 18 Variations."

I have already practiced very well, not losing to the one in the movie...

Sheng Ye looked at the beautiful Steinway piano, and asked, "...how much is this piano?"

Tan Zhen pursed his lips, tears blurred his vision, and said in a trembling voice: "It has nothing to do with money, I just want to play for you."

Let me fulfill at least one of the promises I made with you.

Morino nodded.

Tan Zhen stretched out his hand towards him.

The open wide palm was held in front of his eyes, and the flying star ring was still on his finger. Sheng Ye looked at his deep palm lines and held it nostalgic.

Tan Zhen pulled him to stand up, and they came to the brand-new, not necessarily completely new, piano. The two of them sat next to each other on the soft black piano seat. Tan Zhen lifted the cover of the keys, and Sheng Ye looked at his hands. The wrist hanging above the black and white piano keys reminded him of the time when he first saw Tan Zhen on TV at the age of 17 in the movie "Perfect Love".

That is still the moment that hits his soul the most.

When the piano sounded, he returned to the movie "70 Years Back in Time", and those witty dialogues seemed to be still in his ears.

Tan Zhen made the last 3 minutes of tenderness perfect, as if it was reserved for him to reminisce after 70 years.

Even if I can't be a lover, I want to be your unforgettable memory 70 years later.

Sheng Ye still couldn't help but feel that Tan Zhen's playing was much more beautiful than in the movie, from the loneliness like weeping, to the memory coming like a heavy rain.His playing is the best in the universe, and no one can change it if he competes with him.

When the music ended, Tan Zhen turned around and kissed him.

Sheng Ye felt tears flow down his or Tan Zhen's cheeks, into their caressing lips, those tender lips, finally left.

"I love you," Tan Zhen said, looking at him, "but if... my love makes you suffer so much, then end it."

They stared at each other, blurred in each other's eyes, without speaking, but clearly conveyed "I'm sorry" and "I don't blame you".