perfect out of control

The day before Tan Zhen's birthday, he would go home to have dinner with his family. Sheng Ye got up early on this day. Because he stayed up all night, he finally woke up earlier than Tan Zhen.

In the past at Fushan Villa, Tan Zhen would wake up and cook breakfast, but this time he can finally cook breakfast for the person he likes.

The huge living room was still immersed in the pre-dawn gray. He went downstairs, thinking, Tan Zhen usually wakes up alone in such a weather and prepares breakfast for the two of them. What kind of mood is that? Now I can feel one or two.

After working on the first floor for a while, Tan Zhen went downstairs. Looking at his back in front of the cooking counter, he walked over, took a look at the dawning sky outside, and asked, "Why do you wake up so early?"

Sheng Ye was busy frying eggs and bacon, and cooking oatmeal with milk. Toast was still baked there, and his two hands should be used as three hands. Tan Zhen smiled, and lowered his head to help him turn off the heat under the frying pan. After a while, he said, "Can't you do one thing at a time, take your time?"

Sheng Ye came over with the oatmeal, and when he saw this, he strode over and pushed Tan Zhen away: "Don't meddle, I'll do it!"

Tan Zhen was amused by his push, so he moved aside and raised his hand: "Okay, come on." After a while, he still couldn't help but say, "You can really slow down."

Sheng Ye swayed left and right in front of the kitchen counter: "I want to slow down too, but I can't slow down when I think of you getting up at any time."

Tan Zhen said: "If you need, I can go back to sleep for a while now."

Sheng Ye couldn't help but laugh: "That's not necessary..."

He wanted to make breakfast as rich as possible, fried eggs and bacon, and prepared to cut some lettuce and tomato, but he was a little bit blind in front of the knife block. Tan Zhen’s knives were all separated from raw to cooked, and he didn’t remember where. Cut it raw.

"This one." Tan Zhen walked up, took out the knife and handed it to him.

Sheng Ye took the knife and slashed the tomato on the cooking table.

Tan Zhen walked over and quietly turned down the heat of the milk and oatmeal porridge, otherwise it would be mushy soon.

Sheng Ye cut up the lettuce and tomato, spread them on the toast layer by layer, added fried eggs and bacon, and finally made a beautiful sandwich. If you ignore the messy countertop behind, it still looks very delicious .It’s just that the omelets look mediocre, not as beautiful as Tan Zhen’s. Tan Zhen’s omelets are full of sun eggs, and he doesn’t know how to make them.In order to hide the shabbyness of fried eggs, he thought of making them into sandwiches, so that they could be hidden in the toast.

After this process, I feel like a husband who is spoiled by his wife. Cheng Riyi stretches out his hands to eat, opens his mouth, and hugs Buddha's feet temporarily. Even Buddha dislikes him, but his wife tolerates him with a good temper.

Tan Zhen took the sandwich and said "thank you" in a serious manner. Sheng Ye smiled and suddenly remembered that there was still a pot of porridge cooking behind him: "Oh no!" Fortunately, he breathed a sigh of relief, "It's okay..."

Tan Zhen was eating a sandwich on the island, pursing his lips and smiling without saying a word.

Sheng Ye felt a sense of accomplishment when he took out the hot porridge and placed it in front of Tan Zhen.Watching Tan Zhen eating the porridge he made early in the morning, eating it into his body while it was hot, and becoming a part of "Tan Zhen", it turns out that this is what it feels like to cook for someone he likes.Not only do you want to make it for him, but you also want to watch him eat it.

"Do you want to watch me eat like this all the time?" Tan Zhen looked up at him and said with a smile.

Sheng Ye sat down on the opposite side of the island platform, took a bite of the sandwich, and wondered, "Why is the taste not as good as yours?"

Tan Zhen raised his eyebrows: "No, I think it's pretty good."

Sheng Ye frowned: "Did I forget some steps?"

Tan Zhen said, "No, you cook it for me every day, that's all."

Sheng Ye suddenly stopped speaking.

Tan Zhen smiled and said, "I'm kidding you." He took a spoonful of porridge, bowed his head and blew, and then smiled to himself, "You are still suitable for sleeping in."

Although he said "you", it seemed that he was not talking to him, but to himself, as if summing up the word "Shengye".

Sheng Ye lowered his head, stirred the oatmeal with a spoon, and the hot air hit his face, making the eye sockets feel hot unconsciously.

Tan Zhen was going back to Lantian County at noon, and he was dressed very casually for this trip home, a denim blue shirt, a white T-shirt, and black slacks.Seeing that he was looking for glasses, Sheng Ye returned the pair of glasses in his hand to him.

Tan Zhen took it over and joked, "Are you hiding it?"

Seeing him put on his glasses, Sheng Ye suddenly turned back to the big star he met backstage in the theater, and couldn't help asking, "Are you going back like this?"

Tan Zhen lowered his head to put on his shoes and said, "Otherwise," he raised his head, "we're all family members."

Sheng Ye nodded, and suddenly said excitedly: "What gift do you want me to give you?"

Tan Zhen stood at the porch, smiling faintly: "Shouldn't the gift be a surprise?"

Sheng Ye nodded again: "Well, it makes sense."

He followed Tan Zhen out the door and sent Tan Zhen to the garage. Tan Zhen paused after opening the car door, then turned around and said, "Or I'll drive you back first."

Sheng Ye glanced at the champagne-colored Chevrolet parked next to the big black G, and next to it was a dark blue Cayenne Turbo. The garage could have parked three cars. After buying the Chevrolet for him, Tan Zhen Parked another BMW 7 Series at the company.

He shrugged and smiled: "No need, I will drive back by myself in the afternoon."

Tan Zhen didn't force him any more, got into the car, closed the door, lowered the window and said to him, "Why don't you just stay here tonight, and I'll pick you up by car tomorrow, and you go to GOCLUB with me .”

GOCLUB is a nightclub opened by a friend of Tan Zhen, and it is also the place where he holds birthday parties every year.Sheng Ye nodded instinctively. Although he couldn't attend Tan Zhen's birthday party as his boyfriend, being able to ride with him in his car was a kind of tender compensation.

Tan Zhen lowered his head to fasten his seat belt, and looked up at him: "Go in, I'll watch you go in."

Sheng Ye laughed: "Brother Tan Zhen, why are you so nasty?"

Tan Zhen said, "You send me to the car, and I'll watch you go in, that's fair."

Sheng Ye nodded obediently: "Brother is right!"

Tan Zhen smiled and said, "Then you go in."

"Okay, then just watch." Sheng Ye turned around and walked back, and suddenly stopped and turned back after walking a few steps, Tan Zhen was amused by his movement.

Sheng Ye also stared at him and smiled, he walked three steps and turned his head, Tan Zhen at the car window just looked at him with such a gentle smile, not knowing how reluctant he was in his heart.

***

At 6:22:28 on June [-]nd, Tan Zhen’s [-]th birthday officially arrived. Countless fans sent blessings to their idol at this moment, wishing him a bright future and a prosperous future, wishing him peace and joy, and a smooth life. I also sent out my deep love for Tan Zhen, counting every character he has captured their hearts, and praising his charming and melancholy eyes, so I want to give him a hug, I want to offer him a kiss, and I want to stare at him forever he……

When it comes to love, no matter how violent or vulgar a person is, he will become humble and cautious, passionate and romantic between the lines, Sheng Ye thought, but he is worth it.

After Tan Zhen returned to Lantian County, he stayed alone in his villa in Fushan Villa. There were several hours before Tan Zhen's birthday, and he watched their performance of "Stable Structure" together in the private theater on the first floor.He watched the two-hour film twice.

He and Tan Zhen met in this movie, which was an unforgettable and unforgettable "electric shock" in his life.

At the end of the movie, Tan Zhen curled up in the corner of the corridor, clutching Kong Xinghe’s letter in his hand, broke down and cried, they said it was the best scene Tan Zhen had ever acted, no matter who saw Tan Zhen like this, they would follow I burst into tears.Although he was not included in the shot of becoming Tan Zhen's best actor, the letter held in Tan Zhen's hand was written by him.

Yan Fei and Tan Zhen only saw the tip of the iceberg of this letter that he had written many times and was soaked in tears repeatedly.

Kong Xinghe chose to die alone, not only because he wanted to live a decent life, but also because he didn't want to be a burden to Yan Fei. For this latter reason, Kong Xinghe never mentioned in his letter that he could not be Yan Fei. His death cannot be a stumbling block on Yan Fei's road to happiness.

Love can't be said, and the reason for leaving can't be said, so the letter is so short.

He hoped that he could finish writing the "Bingshan" letter for Kong Xinghe, anyway, Yan Fei would not see it, the person who would see it was Tan Zhen.

He wrote this letter with too much selfishness.The love that has no place to express can only be expressed through Kong Xinghe's mouth.He knew that this was not good, and it would inevitably lead to some controversy, but even if there was controversy, it would not be more serious than when people found out that they were wearing the same ring, because the controversy came from his side and had nothing to do with Tan Zhen.

He just wants to tell too much, wants to tell too much.

Kong Xinghe's love is his own business, he doesn't need Yan Fei to know, he also convinced himself in the same way when dating Tan Zhen, their love is their own business, and no one else needs to know.But if that was the case, why would he be in pain?

It was only at this moment that he realized that it was not true. Love is a matter between two people and this world.Two people who love each other should walk bravely in the world.

A lover who is not known by anyone is not even as good as a humble unrequited love.At least the latter can cry out his love.

Then he will turn back into a humble unrequited love.

***

When Chen Bohan called Tan Zhen, Tan Zhen was chatting with Tan Qian on the terrace on the top floor, and his parents had already fallen asleep.Tan Zhen didn't shy away from Tan Qian when the phone rang, he never shy away from Tan Qian.

"Tan Zhen, have you read Weibo? Did you know about this in advance?!"

Chen Bohan's voice was full of anger, Tan Zhen was confused, put down his coffee cup, glanced at Tan Qian who was opposite him, and asked Chen Bohan, "What are you talking about?"

"My God, Tan Zhen, are you a Tathagata Buddha?!..."

After taking a long time to understand Chen Bohan's words, Tan Zhen fell into silence and froze on the chair motionless.

Tan Qian looked at him in surprise, she rarely saw Tan Zhen's expression like this, he seemed to be shocked, and the emotion was more complicated than shock.

Chen Bohan's voice came out intermittently: "So he did it on his own, right? Crazy, really crazy! Is he..." He thought about his words, "Did he really treat you..."

"No."

"How do you know it's not? It's been said on the Internet that he's confessing to you, and there are people trying to figure out whether he's gay or not!"

Tan Zhen stood up, walked to the balcony, and said without hesitation: "He's not. It's just that it's not easy for him to get out of the role. The role of Kong Xinghe has had too much influence on him..."

"It's not easy to get out of the role?" Chen Bohan interrupted him in an absurd tone, "It's been so long, does he still regard you as Yan Fei?!"

"That was his first movie, and he played a role like Kong Xinghe, Chen Bohan, you don't understand..." Tan Zhen said, taking a deep, deep breath, "To him, I am Tan Zhen is also Yan Fei, he thinks this drama is very important to him, and it is also very important to me, I rely on it to get the award, that's why he wanted to write that letter to me..."

Tan Qian turned her head and looked at Tan Zhen worriedly. She couldn't hear Tan Zhen's words, but she could see Tan Zhen's Adam's apple rolled and pulled several times, and his chest heaved again and again.

On the other end of the phone, Chen Bohan took a deep breath: "Then please do me a favor, don't respond this time, don't set yourself on fire, and let my aunt have a heart attack later!"

Tan Zhen couldn't hide his anxiety in his voice: "He can't do this, don't you know Xiyuan, you can discuss it with her—"

Chen Bohan was stunned: "Why did I go to her to discuss this matter? Sheng Ye wanted to die on his own. Let's not get into this muddy water!"

Tan Zhen frowned: "Chen Bohan, the person he confessed to was me, so it has nothing to do with me."

"Tan Zhen! Don't be a good person here, you have done your best to Sheng Yeren, let me tell you, let me tell you that he is really of the same sex..."

"Chen Bohan!" Tan Zhen suddenly raised his voice, his tone was extremely painful, "...Chen Bohan, I beg you, please do me this favor."

Chen Bohan was told by his pleading tone: "Tan Zhen, you can just—"

"He could have acted safely in the theater, but I pulled him into this circle. I played Yan Fei, and I made him unable to play. I took the initiative to make friends with him, and I took the initiative to provoke him! But yes I got Best Actor because of him, I owe him—”

Chen Bohan: "You don't owe it!!"

Tan Zhen pressed his hand on the railing of the balcony, bowed his head deeply until his whole back was bent: "I owe it, I really owe it."

On the balcony in the dead of night, Tan Qian choked up when she heard Tan Zhen.

***

To my brother, the person I love the most in this world, Yan Fei:

Are you okay in the world?Are you happy?When counting the stars on the rooftop, did you count me?

It's not that I can't see you, it's just that I'm a little far away, many, many light years, and it takes a lot of effort to see a small you. They say that all I see is you from many years ago. It's a pity. Why can't I see you now?

During the day, the sun is too big, you can’t see me, but I can see you more clearly, Yan Fei is a handsome villain during the day, walking in the crowd, I can also recognize you.Although I can't see your expression clearly, what I see is not even you at this moment, but as long as I know it is you, I can recall your shining appearance.

Brother, you like the stars, and I like the sun, you are my sun.

Now I am a star, but I am not the sun, I am smaller than the sun, I am not so hot, when I cross those light years and see the burning sun with eight planets, I will understand That feeling of love at first sight.

So when the sun sees me, will it fall in love at first sight?But I'm not even as good as the stars around me, I'm too young, I don't have enough light, I don't have enough heat, I'm too ordinary for the sun, the sun might miss me when counting the stars, he Had to squint, and I had to burn as hard as he squinted so he could barely see me.

But even if he saw me, would he fall in love with me?I seem to have no reason to be loved by him. He can choose so many other stars, and they are all brighter and hotter than me.So what do you say?

If fate favors me, I can briefly meet his eyes, and I try my best to radiate a little heat and light to him, so as to win his short-term joy. He will remember me from now on, and I can also get my love.

So have you counted the stars today, bro?

Even if you forget to count, I am still here, trying to spread a little heat, a little light to you, and bring you short-term joy.