perfect out of control

Xiao Liu parked the nanny car near the hospital building and waited for a while before Tan Zhen came out.After getting into the car, Tan Zhen didn't say a word. As soon as the door was closed, the inside of the car was suddenly dull.

Xiao Liu started the car silently, coughed, and asked, "Brother, where are we going back, crew? Company? Lantian County? Long Xing or..."

Tan Zhen didn't expect Xiao Liu to report so many addresses in one go, and he couldn't give an answer. There was no place he wanted to go.

The car had already left the hospital and merged into the traffic on the road. He looked out the window, his thoughts were empty, and he could see two old houses from the gap between the tall buildings. He thought of the tube building, as if he really I used to live in such a place with my half-brother, but it was a long, long time ago, and the house is no longer a place to go back to.

"Brother?" Xiao Liu called out to him.

"You take me to Fushan Villa." Tan Zhen said.

"Huh?" Xiao Liu was surprised, "Fushan Villa?"

Tan Zhen said "hmm" without explaining, "Just go there."

Xiao Liu didn't ask any more questions, and quickly opened the navigation.

It takes less than an hour from the hospital to Fushan Villa.After a while, the ginkgo trees at the foot of the mountain turned yellow, and the car rolled up a field of golden ginkgo leaves.

The nanny's car stopped at the foot of the mountain. Tan Zhen got out of the car wearing a mask and walked up the mountain.

The security guard asked him if he needed a patrol car, but Tan Zhen declined.

Walking all the way up the mountain, the scenery on both sides of the road looked a little strange. Maybe it was winter, and the trees on the mountain had withered a lot. It seemed that this area was much deserted, not as lush and vibrant as in summer.

The shrubs outside the villa have been trimmed and the black gates are spotless.After doing the math, he hasn't been here for almost half a year, and only the cleaning staff will come to maintain it every half a month.

The room is not deserted, because the floor heating is turned on, and the smart butler turns on the lights, everything is bright and comfortable.Tan Zhen took off his coat and looked at the spacious living room on the first floor. The floor was polished, the piano was polished, the windows were bright and clean, and there was a bottle of red wine missing in the wine cabinet. It was a bottle of Latour that Sheng Ye drank that day.He walked over and raised his hand to touch the vacated grid. There was not even dust on it. He bent down and took a bottle of wine from below, and put it in the vacated space.

Most of these wines here were gifts from others, and he had never drunk them before. He didn't expect that the only bottle was drunk by Sheng Ye.

Having nothing to do, he turned every bottle of wine around to check the date, and found that Sheng Ye actually picked a bottle with a not-so-good vintage to drink.

"What do you think..."

He stood in front of the wine rack, smiling helplessly.Since it is a breakup wine, of course you have to choose a bottle of good vintage and enough price.

The villa is too big, and he stayed in the private theater in the basement all night, watching a movie called "The Tenant at Heart", which Sheng Ye recommended on Weibo, saying that it was "a movie I watched very much recently ".

The story is both ordinary and bizarre. When he saw the strange encounter between the astronaut and the old lady, he knew that this would indeed be a movie that would move Sheng Ye's heart.

Sheng Ye is like this, he likes those stories with fireworks and scenes with a sense of time.

The old apartment in "The Tenants at Heart", the tube building in "Stable Structure", and the old houses always have stories and emotions that gorgeous villas do not have.He even thought that maybe Sheng Ye would rather live with him in Yan Fei's tube building instead of the villa in Fushan Villa.In fact, he was reluctant to stay here for himself.

Once I talked with Sheng Ye about the tube building. Sheng Ye said that he would like to go back and have a look if he had the chance. He said yes, but he didn't know if the landlord had rented out the house.

"It's okay to rent it out," Sheng Ye said, "I'm afraid it will be demolished."

At that time, they were sitting face to face on both sides of the bar drinking coffee. He looked into Sheng Ye's eyes and thought, why are you afraid? Even if the house is demolished, I am here and you are here. The movie is just our icing on the cake memory.

To this day, he is very glad that he only comforted him with a kiss and did not say these words.In the dead of night, when memory strikes inadvertently, there is still a chance to think: Fortunately, I didn't say it, so it won't make you more sad.

However, they never found a chance to go back again. The house was too old, and maybe it really had come to an end, and the curtain closed with a burst of gunfire.The residents of Tongzilou will be happy to welcome this day, and there is only one person in the world who will be sad about it.

He knew that Sheng Ye would be sad, but he didn't know that they would break up. In the end, it was him, not the disappearing house, that made Sheng Ye more sad.

At the end of "The Tenant at Heart", everyone opened their hearts to another stranger.

Tan Zhen felt a little hot in his eye sockets.

It was dark again in the underground theater, and the ending music played slowly. He leaned back on the chair and closed his eyes in the darkness. The movie allowed people to escape from reality for a short time. When nine or ten minutes came, when the lights came on, people had to Back to reality.He slowly remembered what Xia Qian had said to him a few days ago when he left the hospice.

He thought that he refused, so he would never think about it again, but every time he saw Sheng Ye again, he still couldn't help but fantasize about that kind of selfish happiness.

"I know you feel sorry for him, and you want to give him an aboveboard love, but in fact, where is there any openness? If you come out publicly, will you be blessed by the whole world? Don't be silly Tan Zhen, you are destined to only fall in love secretly. ,Once you come out, your life is over, and his career is ruined. Go ask those out of the closet, do they dare to walk down the street holding hands and arming each other like heterosexuals? Even cheating People are more aboveboard than you and me. Unless gays can get married one day, where is the aboveboard? Sheng Ye is very naive, but you shouldn’t be so naive. In fact, you also know very well in your heart that you will never be aboveboard in your life. Together, unless you are not an actor, and you are not the son of the Tan family."

After the screening ended, the theater was completely quiet. Tan Zhen repeatedly thought of the phrase "You will never be together in a fair way in this life." The sound seemed to be amplified in the theater, as if a certain cycle had started, but it couldn't be stopped.

He suddenly felt a sharp pain in his eyes, and he raised his hand to rub the corners of his eyes vigorously, tears flowed out uncontrollably, so many tears, but did not relieve a little pain, finally he arched his back forward uncomfortably, covered his eyes with his hands, and soon felt Both hands were soaked.

In the darkness, there was only the sound of him taking deep breaths again and again, because it was really painful, and Xia Qian's voice seemed to be clearer in his mind, and he remembered her last words.

"Or, unless you're both dead," she said. "In that case, I'll come out for you so you can be together."

The tone was playful, yet eerily sincere.

The last sentence replaced the sentence "Impossible in this life" and put it in my mind.

He breathed a sigh of relief, put his hands down, put his elbows forward on his knees, lowered his head, his eyes were still so painful that it was difficult to open them, and he still felt tears sliding down his cheeks and falling on the back of his hands, just like this in the dark After sitting motionless for a long time, it seemed to slowly ease up, and the pain in the eyes was no longer so great.

The phone vibrated on the seat, and Tan Zhen struggled to open his eyes, tears blurred his vision, and the light on the screen was extremely dazzling in the dark.

The WeChat call from Xia Qian kept vibrating, but he didn't answer it. He let it vibrate for a long time, and finally hung up by himself.

He picked up his phone and wanted to switch to Do Not Disturb mode, and then a WeChat message popped up suddenly.

Your sister: I'm sorry, forget what I said that day, I was too self-righteous.

Then came another one.

Your sister: But I still don't think you need to do this.