a certain Zheng Kexin

After saying this, everyone looked at Zheng Kexin in silence, and Zheng Kexin looked at An Ji in silence, then she lowered her eyelids and returned to the room without saying a word.

Several people stayed on the sofa until after ten o'clock, Qiao Yuan got up to send the two girls home, and two hours later, when the midnight bell rang, Zheng Kexin recovered a little, and went to the bathroom to wash his face.

Xu Niannian stared at every step, and when she came out of the bathroom, he pulled her into his room, and asked her cautiously, "Today you will sleep with me, okay?"

Zheng Kexin shook her head, let go of her hand and turned to go out, Xu Niannian quickly followed and sat on Zheng Kexin's bed: "Then I'll sleep with you, okay?"

Zheng Kexin pointed to the door, and finally said the first sentence: "I want to be alone."

Alone?nonsense.

It is impossible to expect Zheng Kexin to figure things out on her own. If she could figure it out alone, she wouldn't eat that big bowl of Mala Tang. Xu Niannian had many lessons learned from her past, so she leaned against the wall and refused to leave.

Zheng Kexin grabbed her wrist and pushed her out forcefully. Xu Niannian was unprepared and weak, and was pushed back to her room by her. The two of them were in a stalemate. Xu Niannian suddenly saw the plan to water the flowers beside the bed. A basin of water, leaving aside Zheng Kexin, ran over and poured a basin of water onto his bed without saying a word.

That night, the two of them lay on the bed they used to sleep, but neither of them could fall asleep.

This is the third time that Xu Niannian came to sleep with Zheng Kexin. The first time was because Zheng Kexin had a fever and she was worried about her body. The second time was because Zheng Kexin was in the rain and she was worried about her mood. worry about what.

Worried about her cutting her wrists?Worried about her jumping off the building?No, Xu Niannian knew that Zheng Kexin listened to An Ji's words just now, she can't fall down, she still has her mother, suicide needs selfish blessing, but she can't let go of her mother.

Xu Niannian just instinctively felt that when Zheng Kexin was suffering alone, even if she couldn't share the monstrous pain, at least she could accompany her.

At least he can shake hands, hug, and use all methods to warm Zheng Kexin.

However, when she lay down, she thought for a long time before remembering to hold Zheng Kexin's arm as usual.

When she was in school before, Zheng Kexin always felt that the time at night was short. Every time she fell asleep, it would be dawn, but tonight it might be even shorter. She just closed her eyes, and before she could fall asleep, she smelt The steamed stuffed bun tasted earlier.

It was only five o'clock at this time, and Zheng Kexin's brain, which had been stagnant all night, suddenly turned, and a voice asked her: "Have you eaten, Mom?"

As soon as this question came out, Zheng Kexin suddenly sat up from the bed, Xu Niannian woke up immediately when she moved.

Xu Niannian was usually a heavy sleeper, but this night she couldn't sleep soundly. Every one of her uninterrupted dreams was very bad. She didn't remember what happened to any of them, but she woke up suddenly after a short time.

After going through the night like this, she was forced to sweat, she sat up and grabbed Zheng Kexin's hand: "What's wrong."

Zheng Kexin's uncontrollable anger yesterday had dissipated, and now she was only helpless, she looked at Xu Niannian like a child, and said at a loss: "I miss my mother, my mother hasn't eaten yet. "

No matter how old a child is, when he encounters danger, he still instinctively wants to find his mother.

Xu Niannian vaguely sensed something from Zheng Kexin's expression, and hugged her: "Okay, okay, I'll take you to find your mother."

The two of them carried two bags of steamed stuffed buns, took the first half of the bus, and went to the hospital to see Su Yingyu. Even though it was only a few hours before entering the hospital last night, Zheng Kexin walked in with steamed stuffed buns, but she felt as if she had passed away. She suddenly thought Can't get up, which floor is her father's ward on?

Xu Niannian led her with her free hand: "I called Auntie, let's go to the fourth floor."

There is always a faint smell of disinfectant in the hospital. The chemistry teacher said that hospital patients are full of germs and bacteria, and they will use diluted 84 disinfectant to mop the floor. The main ingredient of the disinfectant is sodium hypochlorite, which is commonly used in homework. It's a second-rate thing, but it doesn't smell like Yang Jian, and it always makes people feel a dead air.

Zheng Kexin held up the steamed stuffed bun, and sent the vitality of the world towards her mother: "Mom, I bought you steamed stuffed buns, which are cabbage fans you like."

Su Yingyu put the bun aside, carefully touched Zheng Kexin's face with her fingertips: "Does the face still hurt?"

Zheng Kexin was in a trance for a moment, her memory was broken and fragmented, she couldn't remember the slap at all, and she replied in a daze after a few seconds: "It doesn't hurt anymore."

Su Yingyu sighed: "It's Mom's fault. Mom shouldn't have hit you yesterday."

Zheng Ke listened to this sentence in a puzzled manner, and felt like he had forgotten something, and suddenly became confused, did her mother hit her?Why?Wait, where is this?This is a hospital.Oh, huh?Why are they in the hospital?

Thinking about it this way, the pain-sensing nerves on the wound on the face finally woke up. Zheng Kexin subconsciously pressed it and felt the pain, and then subconsciously pressed it again and felt the pain.

In just two seconds, Zheng Kexin returned from a child to an adult. She reached out to support Su Yingyu, and said in a hoarse voice, "Mom."

I always heard people say that creatures have the instinct to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages, forget the bad, and only remember the good. Zheng Kexin degenerated into a five- or six-year-old boy overnight. He came out of the small courtyard, took Xu Niannian's hand, and ate with his mother delicious.

At that time, she was still lively and loved to laugh, Zheng Shupei was still a tough father, Sheng Yunming would make a new quilt for the whole family every winter, Xiao Zheng Kexin came back from kindergarten, after dinner, the family sat on the sofa and watched cartoons with her.

She performed for Su Yingyu: "Look, mom, I can transform, turn around like this, turn around again, and I will grow up."

They had a good life back then.

However, after raising her eyelids and waking up, she realized that she came to the hospital from a small rental house, no one watched cartoons with her, and there was only a crazy grandma, a wounded father, and a fan in the hospital She slaps mom.

Zheng Kexin has turned from a little radish into a big kid, what about these days?

——It's gone bad, and I don't know if it can be better.

"When your uncle got into a car accident." Su Yingyu took her hand and said slowly, but she couldn't continue talking. Su Yingyu never wanted to mention this matter. Every year, she would burn paper alone. Looking at the photos and wiping tears in the room, it will be uncomfortable for several days.

However, she didn't cry this time, and continued: "Your aunt and your little cousin died on the spot, and there was no need to go to the hospital. They went directly to the crematorium. Your uncle was sent to the hospital alone. When I rushed over, I was heaving a sigh of relief, and I was about to die."

Su Yingyu looked at Zheng Kexin: "He was holding his breath, he was waiting for me, and he had something to say to me."

Zheng Kexin's heart skipped a beat: "Uncle... what did he say?"

"Sigh." Su Yingyu lowered her eyes. After so many years, no one has mentioned this matter. No one has mentioned it. She always feels that her brother is still alive. Maybe it's because he lives far away, or he is traveling. Well, this person is too busy to come back, not never coming back.

It's just that self-deception always has an end, Su Yingyu pressed Zheng Kexin's hand: "He told me, treat your grandma better, your grandma's life will not be easy."

These words were light and weightless, but they pulled the knife out of Zheng Kexin's body, the flesh and blood tugged, and a handful of fresh blood was stained on the tip of the knife, and the ground was bright red.

With this stabbing, people can't die. Although the injury is serious, there is a possibility of recovery after all.

"It's sweet." Su Yingyu stroked her hair, "Mom was very scared that day, your grandma was frightened and kept crying, your father... your father was injured again, and Mom was left alone. But Mom thought , I still have our heart, I have to cheer up and be strong, right."

Zheng Kexin nodded obediently.

"Mom is thinking of you, that's why I lasted until now." After Ai finished speaking, Su Yingyu slowly lifted the conflict that could not be hidden. She hid for a long time, and finally faced Zheng Kexin's hatred for Sheng Yunming squarely.

"So you just think it's for your mother, okay, don't do stupid things, don't... don't hurt your grandma, if something happens to you, what else can mother do."

The Bodhisattva empress was also entangled in love and hate in the world, and learned to persecute her in a tactful manner.

"She's your grandma."

"Even if you don't regard her as your grandma, she is your mother's mother."

"Okay." Zheng Kexin nodded slightly, and could only nod.

Xu Niannian had been waiting for her in the corridor, saw her coming, and handed her a bottle of water, Zheng Kexin took it, didn't drink, and put it on the seat next to her.

She didn't look at Xu Niannian, and said softly to the floor as if she was talking to herself: "When I was in Xuzhong, the school always showed us videos for a while. I remember that the guest of one episode was a child who was trafficked. The father of the child. He has been looking for the child for more than ten years, and he does not know if he has found it now. If he finds it, the child will still recognize him. "

The small armrest between the seats blocked the two of them, Xu Niannian reached out and shook Zheng Kexin's hand, without saying a word.

Zheng Kexin didn't look up, let her hold it, and said in a low voice, "I remember him saying that he felt living was worse than dying."

"At that time, just in time for the final exam, there was another incident in the school where students cut their wrists and felt ashamed." Zheng Kexin bent his lips, trying to laugh but couldn't. "The head teacher was afraid that we would think about it, so after watching the video, he told us, The most important thing is to be alive, if you die, you will lose everything, and nothing is as important as being alive."

Life is precious, life is precious.

That father spoke from his heart, and the class teacher didn't lie. Zheng Kexin unscrewed the mineral water and took a sip, then shook the bottle, looked at the remaining half bottle of water and thought, "Life is worse than death, but since I'm still alive , we have to live on today, right?"

In these years, Zheng Kexin was either reminiscing about the past or looking forward to the future. She couldn't let go of the happy life she once had. The more she couldn't let go, the more difficult it was for her to accept the unrecognizable and messy situation now.

She drank the last sip of water, and then let go of Xiao Zheng Kexin's hand.

Xu Niannian was going to class, Zheng Ke wanted to go home.When leaving the hospital, the hospital had just received an old lady with severe burns. A group of people rushed in with a cart and quickly passed Zheng Kexin. Zheng Kexin was already calm at this time. She looked back and thought about the impermanence of the world. , life and death.

Xu Niannian held her back worriedly: "Why don't I go back with you..."

She was interrupted by Zheng Kexin before she finished speaking, and Zheng Kexin quickly learned Qiao Yuan's calm smile, and said to her: "It's okay, my dad is not dead, it's okay, don't go to school on the first day Just skip class, and I can’t afford the responsibility if I don’t do well in the college entrance examination.”

Xu Niannian was choked by the sentence "My dad is not dead", opened his mouth and couldn't speak, and paused for a few seconds before saying: "Then I will ask Ning Zhi and the others to accompany you back..."

Zheng Kexin interrupted her again: "Am I a three-year-old child? Don't know the way home?"

Xu Niannian held her back: "That's not what I meant."

"I know what you mean." Zheng Kexin didn't hold on for half a minute, she smiled wryly, "Nian Nian, let me get used to it, half of my house has collapsed, I have to help my mother up, and say it's okay It's a lie, I have something to do, but I have to carry it myself."

The heating was clearly turned on, but when the door was pushed open, a gust of cold air suddenly rushed out from behind the door.The last time Zheng Kexin came back was on October [-]st. In just a few months, the house is still the same as before, except for a new carpet at the door, as if it has become strange.

She sat on her bed and looked at her room aimlessly, only to realize that the room at home is larger than the one in the rental house, and the lighting is better, but she never felt it before, because she would close the curtains as soon as she got home Turn on the lights, day or night.

She seems to have kept herself locked in a square box to feel more at ease.

Zheng Kexin picked up the kettle and boiled some hot water. The kettle gurgled, and the house seemed to be alive.

In the hospital, Su Yingyu took her hand and said: "The family is sorry for you. Mom knows you don't want to go home. After a few days of happy life outside, you and I called and talked about how you and Niannian are doing." , much more lively than before, but this mess happened again at home..."

"Mom doesn't want to hide it from you. Mom doesn't know how to tell you. Mom wants you to be happy for a few days and stay away from this mess."

Su Yingyu's words made Zheng Kexin feel like Qi Yao.

When Qi Yao's family kept it from him, what were his parents thinking.

Aunt Zheng Kexin has a bad heart, and her uncle dared to inform her of the car accident a few years ago because he couldn't hide it. Afterwards, her aunt stayed in the hospital for half a month and almost followed her. How could Su Yingyu let her Know.

Both Zheng Shupei's parents have passed away, and he has no brothers or sisters. Zheng Kexin is in her third year of high school and is busy with her final exams in the dark. Su Yingyu can only handle this whole thing.

At the beginning when Sheng Yunming got lost, Su Yingyu would call Zheng Kexin out of control, but now half of the sky at home has collapsed, with the lives of an old man and a handicapped on her body, but she resisted without saying a word.

Zheng Kexin couldn't imagine how Su Yingyu survived on her own. Her mother was a reincarnated Bodhisattva and a fairy lady. She hung on paintings for most of her life, and she is still a little girl.Let her deal with complicated housework with ease, let her deal with car accidents, insurance claims, and surgical proposals—won’t her hands shake when she writes? Sitting outside the operating room waiting for her husband whose life or death is uncertain, what is going on in her mind? .

She might not even have a moment of peace full of panic, because there was also Sheng Yunming who was frightened and crying.

So many things, one after another, she carried them all on her shoulders.

Zheng Kexin questioned, but she just said lightly: "It's all over, if you can get over it, it's not too difficult."

She can't cure Sheng Yunming's illness, nor can she save Zheng Shupei's leg. What she can do is to try her best to procrastinate, so that her daughter's happy days will be longer, and she will laugh more every day.

That night, there was a blizzard that had not been seen in more than ten years in Lincheng, and blue blizzard warning text messages from all sides bombarded everyone's mobile phones.

Zheng Kexin left home in summer and returned home in winter. In just half a year, her home was turned upside down. The house that was once always full of noise was only left with the sound of her breathing.

She replied to her friends' messages one by one, telling Xu Niannian that she would not be going home today, and then called Su Yingyu.

Su Yingyu told her: "Under the snow, don't run to the hospital. Mom is watching at the hospital. You have nothing to do at home and help mom clean up the housework. You will never go back, and everything will be ashes."

The strong wind swept across the entire forest city. It seemed that there were two cars racing all night. The sound stopped when the sun came out. I don’t know who killed who. Zheng Kexin, who hadn’t slept all night, opened her eyes. The day after the snow is always very bright , the curtains are not thick enough to block the light outside.

This is how the winter vacation started.