last raving

It’s an evening self-study during the holidays. The boys are playing games in the classroom. I will never participate in this kind of chaotic activities, but you, who are in harmony with the boys, are different from me. The classroom was full of laughter, you were eager to try, I gave you a disdainful look, you don’t seem to be very good at this kind of game, after that you were so dizzy that you could only rest on the table, the boys saw you with a bad face , and didn't play anymore.

When I returned to the dormitory, I saw you lying on my bed, your face was pale, your lips were pale, and your expression was very painful. "You're okay, don't play if you can't play." I blamed you with a hint of blame, and at the same time I also stepped forward to touch your forehead, and you nodded. Although we were arguing and playing the game of cold war, I admit defeat.

You seem to have a fever. I washed a towel to help you cold compress, fanned you, and then sang softly to lull you to sleep. They all came over to ask you what's the matter, but seeing that you didn't speak, I said something to take a good rest and went back to do my homework.In the hot summer, I take a fan to fan you a little bit, seeing your peaceful sleeping face, I can't help but raise the corners of my mouth slightly.

The roommates have all fallen asleep, the fan in the dormitory hums and shakes its small body, the best place to collect wind is my bed, but it has been occupied by you, I am wondering where I should go to sleep, You reached out and grabbed my fanning hand, pulled me to your mouth, and asked me softly, why are you still awake?

"Where am I going to sleep..." I complained in a low voice, you moved into the bed, pulled me towards you, and patted the open space beside you with your hands, "Sleep here" my face swished It turned red all of a sudden, you saw that I was not moving, opened your eyes with difficulty, and asked me "what's the matter?" I was afraid that you would find my shyness, so I immediately lay beside you, my body posture was very stiff, and there was nowhere to rest Putting her little hands on her stomach, she looked like a stone-carved hostess.

You turned to face me, put your arms on my body, and hugged me gently.Panicked, my heart rate soared all the way, and I didn't dare to move. Your soft breath brushed my ears, the faint fragrance of your hair surrounded me, and your body temperature burned on my skin. I expected it very wisely. , it's going to be a sleepless night...

At three o'clock in the morning, the surface was calm, but my heart was turbulent. Finally, I couldn't bear the burning feeling anymore. I tiptoed up, sat by the bed for a while, and took a few deep breaths.Then I climbed to your empty bed, and there was still your breath on the sheets, which made my heart flutter, even though the weather was hot and dry.But with this breath that belongs to you alone, I soon fell asleep.

The next day you woke up and didn't see me, and then found me on your bed, "Why did you run up there?" I looked at your face that was gradually turning rosy, and rolled my eyes, "It's not all your fault, sleeping on my bed , I can't sleep" You squinted at me wickedly "What's the matter, are you too excited to sleep with me and can't fall asleep?" Listening to your cheap tone, I wanted to slap you to death at that time, throw you a supercilious look and then Get up and make the bed, "Yeah, I'm so excited, I can't sleep."

In the third year of high school, it was popular to accompany the students, that is, the parents who lived far away rented a house next to the school, put down their work and took care of their children's diet and daily life, so that the children could study better.So when we were having dinner in the second semester of high school, you asked me if I would accompany you to study, and I said yes, but I don’t know if my mother has time, so you smiled badly, “Your mother doesn’t have time, but dad does. Ah" I showed a puzzled expression, "My dad doesn't care about me, and he's very busy at work." Look at me with a puzzled look and then burst out laughing, "I'm talking about me, your dad~" Looking at you I want to beat you, I chase you and hit you, but you are such an athlete, I can only use this to exercise my body.

Then you looked at me panting and laughed, and then suddenly invited me to live with you seriously, "just the two of us" I can't imagine that scene, but listen to your description and imagine that you can ride a bicycle in the morning Carrying me who can't ride a bike, we bought breakfast at the door of our house, then arrived at school to start a day of study, and at night we went home to take a shower, threw the clothes into the washing machine, studied together for a while, and then turned off the lights and went to bed.

I listened to the beauty you described and felt very happy. It was a beautiful life that I could not imagine.But the reality is that my family education is too strict, and my parents will never agree to let me and you two girls live outside, because it is too unsafe.When I told you this, you showed a very surprised expression, "What's not safe, we just sleep there, we don't usually stay here, there are two of us, besides, I can protect you."

I really want to be with you, I really want to, the kind of thought that makes me laugh out loud when I think about it.However, that kind of extreme happiness is impossible to have. This is the truth I have understood since I was a child.You may just say that, the more gentle and considerate you are to me, and the unscrupulous flirting with me, the more I like you, the more I like you to the point of going crazy.

Every entry in my diary is about you. Your indistinctness, distance and nearness makes me wander between heaven and hell. I warn myself, don’t forget your S, your photography classmate, your rumored boyfriend. ..

You are defenseless against me, but I have other thoughts about you, so I am struggling whether to tell you my humble feelings, so that you can be on guard, I don't want to enjoy the friendship and care you give me despicably, Even if I understand, your heart won't be mine.

In the mock exam of the last school exam, I finished the test paper hastily, took the draft paper and started to write a letter to you.It’s not a confession letter, I tell you that I like you, it’s the love of love, I also feel disgusting, but I can’t control myself, I can’t not talk to you, I can’t not pay attention to you, I can’t not like you.I hope you can stay away from me and help me end this sinful love.

It’s been a long time, I’ve forgotten what I wrote, but the main idea is this, it doesn’t matter, I’ll hand the letter to you in the evening self-study, let you go to the toilet to read it, tear it up and throw it away after reading it, I’ll run Going to the playground, running round and round, I understand that we may never be friends again, and our playfulness is over.

I want to see your expression at that time, because I still feel lucky, I hope you like me too, I hope you will be reluctant to part with me and keep me.But I dare not, so I chose to escape and let you face such a bloody reality alone.

That night, you pulled me back and asked me, "Are you joking? Huh? We... agreed to be at the same table next time..." You should expect me to tell you that I was joking, but I would rather Let me tell you seriously, no, because of the broken jade, not the whole character.

That night, you cried on the balcony, I thought you were because of me, to be honest I was very happy, because it means that I am very important, you don't want to lose me, do you like me too?Your roommate asked what was wrong with you. You said that you read a romance novel, so you were a little sad and couldn't help crying. I was so sure at the time that you were crying because of me, so I crept onto your bed and told you Sorry, you said you are fine, I don't think too much, it is really because of the romance novel, "Passing Through Your World", I thought you were stubborn, so I cared about you very much, but you are very indifferent to me, see later When you really cry because of reading novels, I will know how stupid I am. I am self-indulgent. I will not talk to you anymore. But a romance novel.

Our past was so happy, so at the beginning, I was very painful, in the same dormitory, we didn't see each other when we looked up, and we became like strangers.You got a new best friend, you had a fight with her, you were asking how to comfort her, you made up with her, you brought her a gift, you hung out with her, you took a photo with her ...Later, you and I moved out of the dormitory in the third year of high school, which ended my painful torment. Because I didn't see you, I would always temporarily forget the fact that I like you and my heartache because of heavy studies.

We are really far away. I used to greedily enjoy the happiness you brought me. I never thought that we would be estranged one day. We are so estranged that I heard your news from the mouths of gossip girls.

After graduation, you have a boyfriend who is our classmate.You often show your affection, go to the playground, go shopping together, watch movies together, go skating together, and he will travel thousands of miles to see you in a city thousands of miles away, and you will record your affection in the space and Weibo, it is so sweet Tooth loss, I am very happy to see you so happy, so happy, in those two years, I was self-indulgent.

So in the summer when the college entrance examination ended, at the end of all the laughter and tears, my tangled feelings for you also withered away and never revived.

Thank you, dear M.I know that dreams will wake up one day, youth will end one day, and love will stop one day. After experiencing countless heartaches and countless nights of insomnia, I slowly grow from innocence Become worldly.I am very glad that I finally waited until the day when I really let go, and you have to be happier in the future.

The author has something to say: It’s over~ This article was originally written for myself, but I hope more people can see it. The painful transformation when I was young will eventually become our best memory. Thank you everyone Watch the official~