I just want to be a vegetable

After Cheng Zhiyuan started chemotherapy, except for the first two times, he had the same post-chemotherapy reaction as Cheng Zhiyuan, dizziness, vomiting, and muscle pain.

Xiangxiang doesn't know if this is the so-called "telepathy", but he would rather not have it, because he knows that Cheng Zhiyuan's pain is thousands of times greater than his "telepathy".The thought of this made him even more uncomfortable.

Sometimes looking at Cheng Zhiyuan's hideous face distorted because of the pain, yearning would give him the urge to smash up the hospital, and sometimes he even wanted to beat someone up.

Rather than watching the people you care about the most suffer in front of you, it is better to bear it yourself.

The feeling of knowing that he is suffering but being powerless is more painful than the pain itself.

Feng Zhe would bring Yang Yang to the hospital from time to time. Yang Yang had never cried since he lived in Feng Zhe's house. When he got to the hospital, he obediently sat next to Cheng Zhiyuan and told him interesting things in school, just like before.

Feng Zhe and Xiangxiang said that Yang Yang was also very obedient at home, doing his homework obediently, sleeping obediently, and did not take the initiative to ask about Cheng Zhiyuan, but just looked at him eagerly and said that he wanted to go to the hospital to see his father.

Xiang Xiang knew that Yang Yang should also understand something, but he couldn't bear to tell him that when Yang Yang came to the hospital, he kept hugging him and kissing him.

Later, Cheng Zhiyuan began to feel unconscious. He would unconsciously say words that Xiangqian could not understand, and sometimes mistook Xiangyang for someone else.

Once, after Cheng Zhiyuan finished chemotherapy, he held on to his longing, and kept calling his mother in his arms with a crying voice.

The yearning heart was pierced at once, and I hated myself so much that I wanted to beat myself to pieces and throw me into the sea to feed the fish.

In order to stay with Cheng Zhiyuan for a few more months and make Cheng Zhiyuan suffer so much, he is really selfish.

One day, when Cheng Zhiyuan was conscious, he murmured in Longing's arms: "I want to go home, I want Yangyang, I want a family of three to be together."

Xiangxiang hugged him with trembling hands, stroked his protruding cheekbones, and said softly: "Okay, let's go home."

After Xiangxiang discussed with Cheng's parents and Cheng's mother, the two elders also agreed to give up chemotherapy.Originally, they supported it because they thought it would help Cheng Zhiyuan's illness, but after seeing the inhuman torture that Cheng Zhiyuan had suffered these days, they began to hesitate.

Although I didn't stay in the hospital for a long time, when I got home, I yearned for it as if a century had passed.

In the evening Feng Zhe also sent Yang Yang back.As soon as Yang Yang got home, he ran to the bedroom and kissed Cheng Zhiyuan, comforting him: "Old Dou, you have to take your medicine obediently, don't be afraid of hardship, I will give you all my candy."

Cheng Zhiyuan stroked his head weakly, and said with a smile: "Well, then Yang Yang has to leave the best candy to Laodou."

"Ok!"

Yearning came in with a cup of warm water, put the cup on the table, hugged Yang Yang and kissed him before putting it down.

Yearning supported Cheng Zhiyuan against his chest, reached out to reach the water glass, but almost reached it.

Yang Yang hurriedly held the cup with both hands, walked carefully in front of them, stood on tiptoe and put the cup to Cheng Zhiyuan's mouth.

Of course Xiangxiang knows that he is struggling, but he doesn't want to help him, he knows that Yangyang also wants to do his best to help his old man.

Cheng Zhiyuan took a sip with Yang Yang's hand, because of the angle, it was a bit difficult to take a second sip.

Only then did Xiang Xiang take the cup from Yang Yang's hand, and while feeding Cheng Zhiyuan, he said to Yang Yang: "The baby is so powerful, you can even feed me water."

Yang Yang obediently stood aside and watched Xiang Xiang after feeding Cheng Zhiyuan's water, and then said: "Father, what else can I do for you?"

"Well... not anymore, Dad can do it by himself. By the way, Dad may not have time to accompany the baby to do homework, can the baby do it by himself?"

"Yes!" Yang Yang responded immediately, and ran out after answering, "I can do it myself! I'll take a shower and sleep after I'm done, Dad, you don't have to accompany me!"

Yearning opened and closed his lips before he could say a word, Yang Yang ran out.After Longing waited for Cheng Zhiyuan to fall asleep, he went to Yangyang's room to take a look and saw that he had fallen asleep obediently before closing the door and leaving.

In the middle of the night, Cheng Zhiyuan tossed and turned in pain, and only after Xiangyang helped him up a little, Cheng Zhiyuan couldn't help but vomited on the bed.

Yearning couldn't control so much anymore, randomly took out a few plastic bags from the bedside table, and asked Cheng Zhiyuan to spit in the bags.

After Cheng Zhiyuan had nothing to vomit, Xiangqian put a pillow on his back, let him lean against the head of the bed, and went to the bathroom to get a cleaning tool and came in to clean it up, along with the washbasin and towels, so that he could vomit later .

Xiangqian got some warm water again, helped Cheng Zhiyuan wipe his body, and massaged him for a while, Cheng Zhiyuan calmed down, and passed out from exhaustion.

Yearning kissed his forehead, got out of bed and hurried to the bathroom.Yearning to rush into the toilet, squatting by the toilet and vomited furiously until tears came out, he almost wanted to let go of his emotions and cry, but he held back after recovering for a while.

After vomiting, Xiangqian rinsed his mouth, just after turning off the water, he heard the sound of the door opening. He thought Cheng Zhiyuan was suffering again, so he hurried out.As soon as he came out, he saw that the door of Yangyang's bedroom was closed immediately.

Xiangxiang sighed, and gently opened the door of Yangyang's room: "Baby, why haven't you slept yet? Did Dad disturb you?"

Yang Yang nestled under the quilt and didn't answer him.After waiting for a while, Xiangqian went to the bed and knelt down, touched his face, unexpectedly felt wet hands, Xiangqian's heart was seized at once, the feeling of nausea came again, he took a deep breath It took several breaths to suppress it.

Yearning lifted the quilt and lay down, hugged Yang Yang into her arms: "What's the matter, baby? Did you get bullied at school?"

"Old Bean..."

"Huh?" Xiang Xiang didn't hear what he was saying, so she moved her ears closer to listen.

"Old Dou, are you going to die?"

His yearning heart skipped a beat, he didn't know how to answer this question that he was unwilling to face all this time.

"Why would the baby ask such a question? Who told you that?"

"I, I guess, yes. Old Dou, sick, very heavy, he, very hurt..."

Yearning hugged Yang Yang silently, and listened to Yang Yang's sobbing voice: "Dad, can you please, uncle doctor, beg him, to cure Laodou? Let's be together, please. I, I know, little Zhezhe said However, if you are sick, you need to take medicine, get an injection, and you have to give the doctor uncle money..."

After finishing speaking, Yang Yang struggled to get rid of Xiangqian's embrace, took out a piggy bank from his pillow, and sent it to Xiangqian's embrace: "I have, a lot of money. Give it to Uncle Doctor. Please, heal Laodou, okay?" good?"

Yearning embraced Yang Yang into her arms, hugged the little dumpling tightly, tears streaming down silently: "Okay."

Finally, Yang Yang was tired from crying and fell asleep in Xiang Xiang's arms.Xiangqian wiped away his tears with a paper towel, then wiped off the water on her own face, and settled Yangyang before going to the master bedroom.

This day, Cheng Zhiyuan was in good spirits, and it happened to be the weekend, so he happily and longingly said that he wanted to cook a meal by himself. It had been a long time since the family sat down to eat the meal he cooked.

Looking forward to seeing his complexion so good, she went out to buy groceries without worry. Before going out, she kept telling Yang Yang to take care of Cheng Zhiyuan, and if Cheng Zhiyuan felt uncomfortable, call him immediately.

Yang Yang was also nervous by him, and solemnly saluted him: "I promise to complete the task!"

Cheng Zhiyuan rubbed Yang Yang's head with a smile, and said to Xiang Xiang: "Look, it scares our baby! Why are you nervous just to buy some vegetables?"

Yearning didn't answer him, took the shopping bag and walked out quickly.When Xiangxiang hurriedly opened the door and came in, he saw Cheng Zhiyuan sitting cross-legged on the cushion in the living room, playing Lego with Yangyang.

Seeing him coming in, Cheng Zhiyuan raised his eyes: "Why so fast? Have you bought everything I said?"

"Well, it's ready. Let me help you wash and cut all the vegetables." Xiang Xiang said as he walked to the kitchen.

Cheng Zhiyuan stood up neatly: "No, your cuts are so ugly. You come out to play with Yang Yang, and you two just wait to eat."

Yearning was still worried about him, and was messing around in the kitchen. Cheng Zhiyuan couldn't stand him anymore and pushed him away.

Yearning to sit next to Yang Yang, but her eyes never leave the kitchen.For some reason, he suddenly had a bad feeling.

Until Cheng Zhiyuan served all the dishes on the table, Yearning still couldn't let go of that feeling.

Yang Yang was also very happy today, talking non-stop at the dinner table, Cheng Zhiyuan also promised him to take him to the playground in a few days, Yang Yang was so happy that he ate an extra bowl of rice.

Looking forward to watching Cheng Zhiyuan eat half a bowl of rice, his heart was relieved a little, and he gradually felt the taste of the food.

The daily life of such a family sitting together and eating the meals cooked by Cheng Zhiyuan seems to have been longing for a long time, but it obviously hasn't been long.

Once returning to the familiar scene and the familiar daily life, Longing will wonder whether the things he has experienced before are all fake.

But seeing Cheng Zhiyuan's obviously sunken cheeks, he knew that he shouldn't have fantasies.

During the whole day, Cheng Zhiyuan didn't say he was uncomfortable, thinking longingly, as expected, staying at home is much better than being in the hospital, and he will gradually get better.

In the evening, Yang Yang obediently went to bed early, and Cheng Zhiyuan also said that he was tired, and wanted to give him a massage before letting him fall asleep.

Yearning leaned against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, and gradually relaxed herself.Xiangxiang was about to fall asleep in a daze, but suddenly woke up, he subconsciously touched Cheng Zhiyuan beside him, and found something was wrong.

Cheng Zhiyuan's breathing became very short, and his whole body collapsed.Xiang Xiang was so frightened that he patted his back and said anxiously: "What's wrong? Where is it uncomfortable? Answer me?"

But no matter how many times he yelled, Cheng Zhiyuan couldn't answer, his breathing was short, and his chest heaved violently.

Yearning was so anxious that he didn't know what to do, he patted his back for a while, stroked his chest for a while, but he couldn't relieve it.

He took the mobile phone by the bedside with trembling hands, and was about to dial the emergency number, when Cheng Zhiyuan took a picture of the mobile phone in his hand. He hurriedly lowered his head to pick up the mobile phone, but Cheng Zhiyuan held his hand firmly with both hands, with great strength, yearning Never felt it.

Yearning anxiously shouted at Cheng Zhiyuan: "Let go! I'm going to call an ambulance, how can I call if I don't let go!" His voice trembled with tears.

Cheng Zhiyuan's face was flushed with suffocation, and he tried his best to squeeze out words: "Don't-hit, stop it. Hug, hug me..."

"Don't do this! I beg you, Cheng Zhiyuan! Don't do this! Please, please, don't go, don't leave me! Stay with me again, okay? Let me go, I want to call, it's okay, it's okay , just go to the hospital..."

Yearning repeated these few words, tears rolled down uncontrollably, until the voice became hoarse, and Cheng Zhiyuan's breathing gradually weakened, and then yearning stopped crying.

He leaned on Cheng Zhiyuan's chest, trying to hear Cheng Zhiyuan's faint heartbeat, his head was so painful that it was about to split open, he tightly grabbed the clothes on Cheng Zhiyuan's chest, and murmured before he lost consciousness: "Don't go... "