you are unspeakable

From then on, the protagonists live happily together. This is the ending of the fairy tale.

From then on, the protagonists lived happily together. They still encountered difficulties and quarreled from time to time, but love made them understand each other, and their love became stronger.This is the ending of the novel, but reality is not a novel, let alone a fairy tale.

Reality does not have the ability to write in a single stroke, the passage of time is not affected by anyone, and life is not full of dramatic conflicts all the time. Day after day, every day looks the same, but every day seems to be different, and despair hides in In the trivial, hidden in the depression again and again.

Li Xinglu's thoughtfulness is getting more and more day by day, but the smile on his face is getting less and less day by day. Wang Qi was still able to catch it.

A beautiful vision is like the new year, starting the new year with anticipation, but facing the cruel and powerless reality when you need to go to work on the eighth day of the lunar new year, how frustrating it is.

Wang Qi took medicine and treatment on time. He tried hard to force himself to become better, trying to make his treatment seem to be useful. He was eager to become a so-called normal person, but the road to treatment was full of obstacles. It was thorns, Wang Qi walked this way quickly, the soles of her feet were covered with blood.

In the past, he walked on this road alone without concern, even though it was painful, but it didn't matter, it didn't matter, he didn't harm others, now Li Xinglu pulled him and walked with him in this endless dark alley. Qi stared at Li Xinglu's back, he was not afraid of pain, but he didn't know how long this road would take, he unknowingly became Li Xinglu's burden, he hated himself.

Obviously that excellent man, he didn't have to bear all this.

Wang Qi seems to be recovering. From the New Year to the Ching Ming Festival, Li Xinglu took care of him in every detail. He took care of work and life, and even had to sacrifice part of his work to take care of Wang Qi. These are actually nothing What, he is not short of money, work is not the whole of his life, but what makes him powerless is Wang Qi's illness.

This is a disease that cannot be quantified, the lesion cannot be found, and the degree of recovery cannot be accurately defined.He devoted himself enthusiastically, but was tormented by Wang Qi's uncontrollable emotions. Li Xinglu watched Wang Qi sink in grief and couldn't get out, and watched him burst into tears for no reason, crying red Eyes, looking at his inexplicable depression and despair, watching his insomnia all night long, when he was not at home, he would even uncontrollably self-mutilate.

It was only then that Li Xinglu realized that this disease was not as simple as he thought.

Willpower is useless before it.

Desperately, although Wang Qi embraced him, there was an invisible veil between them, no matter how much they hugged, they couldn't touch each other's skin.

Li Xinglu is not afraid to give up his time, his emotions, and everything he has. What he is afraid of is the despair that he can only watch the one he loves suffer but is helpless.

At the beginning of May, when Li Xinglu came back from work and opened the door, he smelled a faint smell of blood. He could not suppress his anger at first, and then his eyes were filled with worry. Before he could change his shoes, he searched for Wang Qi in the room, and finally found Wang Qi on the balcony. Seeing the people curled up in a group, he buried his head between his arms, the thin white sweater on his right arm was stained red with blood, Li Xinglu stepped forward, frowning.

This is the third time he has self-harmed this year.

"What's the matter, you're in a bad mood again?" Li Xinglu told himself over and over again in his heart not to provoke him, not to provoke him, he tried his best to speak in a calm tone: "What happened, can you tell me?"

Wang Qi raised his head, his red and swollen eyes were crying dry, he looked at Li Xinglu, he could feel his worry and anger, but he opened his mouth, but he couldn't say anything.

He didn't know what was wrong, but his heart was so empty, so empty, as empty as an abyss.

He is sorry for Li Xinglu, he made Li Xinglu lose a lot of smiles, he can't feel happiness, and unknowingly takes away Li Xinglu's happiness bit by bit, he is a sinner.

He killed the man he loved the most.

Wang Qi sat there blankly. Li Xinglu rubbed his head, took out the medical kit, and bandaged him with ease. , he whispered: "If it hurts, bite me."

Li Xinglu didn't know that such familiar pain had already become a part of Wang Qi's life. He would not feel uncomfortable, but because of this pain, it made him feel a little better.

After bandaging, Li Xinglu sat beside Wang Qi, reached out to hold him in his arms, gently stroked his hair, and let the blood stain his clothes.

His cleanliness was cured by Wang Qi, Li Xinglu thought to himself.

"We, Wang Qi, are awesome. It's been a month and a half since your last self-injury, and half a month longer than the second time. You are getting better, don't be afraid, I will accompany you, no matter what, I will accompany you. "Li Xinglu's voice was so gentle: "There is still one month until Children's Day, and I will take you to play at that time. If other children have it, my child should also have it." He made his tone lighter, as if In this way, suppressed emotions can be combated.

Wang Qi's eyelashes trembled slightly, and he stretched out his hand to pinch Li Xinglu's palm. Li Xinglu's heart warmed up, and he inserted his fingers between his fingers, and the two interlocked.

The tightly clenched palms seem to convey strength.

After being with Wang Qi, Li Xinglu seldom got together with Jin Shi and Liu Wen, but Liu Wen was worried that he and Wang Qi would come to Li Xinglu's house on the rest day. They were able to meet Wang Qi when she went to the hospital. This was the first time Liu Wen met Wang Qi in private.

He looked much better, gained a lot of weight, and had a lot of flesh on his cheeks. It seemed that Li Xinglu was really kind to him.The three of them had dinner together, and Liu Wen could even have a brief chat with Wang Qi, but when he left Li Xinglu's house, Liu Wen didn't feel at ease.

Wang Qi is getting better, but Li Xinglu is getting worse. Liu Wen has never seen him so listless, with a sad and depressed expression.

Liu Wen knew how... difficult it was to be with a depressed patient.

In the parking lot, he called Li Xinglu to stop: "Xinglu, although it is selfish to say this, you and Wang Qi, you are really not suitable, he will... he will drag you into the abyss, your current state is not right , I have never seen your house so messy, and I have never seen you so tired, you can separate from him, you don't owe him anything, you don't need to destroy yourself because of a relationship."

Liu Wen is more worried about a friend who has been with him for many years than a patient he has not known for a long time.

He is well aware of the horror of this disease.

Li Xinglu took a deep look at Liu Wen: "Be careful when driving." After speaking, he turned his back and waved to Liu Wen resolutely.

On the day of Children's Day, Li Xinglu didn't go to work, he and Wang Qi were woken up by the sun, they hugged and exchanged a kiss.

Wang Qi's mood is not bad today, it should be said that most of the morning Wang Qi's mood is not bad, Wang Qi smiled and hugged Li Xinglu, her eyes were crooked.

"Today is June [-]st," Wang Qi said, "You will accompany me, right?"

"Of course I will accompany you." Li Xinglu kissed his forehead.

The amusement park is crowded with people, laughing and laughing.

The portion of the children's meal is too small, they ordered three servings before they were full.

From entering the park at ten o'clock in the morning to closing at five o'clock in the afternoon, Wang Qi held a hydrogen balloon and a cartoon hat, and was led by Li Xinglu on the street.

This time, Wang Qi was not afraid of other people's eyes at all, he smiled happily.

Walking downstairs in the community, Wang Qi suddenly said, "I want to go shopping, in that supermarket," he pointed to the supermarket across the street.

"I'll accompany you."

"No," Wang Qi imitated the child who acted coquettishly and shamelessly when the kindergarten was closed just now: "I want to go by myself."

Li Xinglu liked the vivid Wang Qi in front of him very much. At this moment, he really hoped that every day would be Children's Day. Li Xinglu nodded with a smile: "Then I will wait for you here."

"You go home and wait for me." Wang Qi hugged him, her expression suddenly became serious: "I left a gift for you in the bedroom when I went out today. It's a Children's Day gift. It's a thank you gift for this." Said Wang Qi shook the hydrogen balloon in his hand: "I hide it very secretly, you have to find it slowly."

A trace of surprise flashed in Li Xinglu's eyes, and then he smiled, looking expectant: "No wonder you were so slow when you went out today."

Li Xinglu watched Wang Qi cross the zebra crossing, and couldn't wait to go home to find his present.

To be honest, he was looking forward to it.

It took him more than ten minutes to find a letter in the notebook under the cabinet.

Li Xinglu took it apart and read it slowly. He guessed that it should contain something that he was embarrassed to say to himself, and his mood rose when he thought of it.

The first sentence of the letter: Li Xinglu, I love you.

Seeing this sentence, Li Xinglu unconsciously smiled, but after reading it, his smile froze on his face.

'I love you, but I only love you when the sun is shining, I only love you in the morning, I only love you when I can laugh, I only love you in all the so-called normal times.Just because I love you, I choose to let you go when the night comes, and bear the cold night alone. I know you love me, and you will be willing to put your coat on me to resist the cold night, but I will definitely I want to push you away, because this night is every night, every night, endless, this cold is a poison that soaks in the bone marrow and rots the five internal organs.

I like your smile, your decisiveness, your cleanliness, everything about you, except that you frown and meditate, and you are unhappy.

The happiness in this world seems to have nothing to do with me, but it must have something to do with you.

Don't look for me, I will be fine, but our fate can only go so far.

Don't worry, I will live a long life somewhere in the world.

Please also live a long life.

Li Xinglu, thank you for loving me.

Don't be sad, time will smooth everything out, and you will meet a very good, very, very happy person. '

Li Xinglu threw down the letter paper and rushed to the street, but Wang Qi was nowhere to be found.

The world is so big, it is so difficult to find someone.

one year later.

Li Xinglu still lives here, drinking tea, exercising, working and gathering with friends. He seems to have never changed, but he seems to have changed again.

He had seen the ceiling in the dark too many times, and every time, he couldn't help wondering whether that person had come here like this before.

It turned out that it was so bitter.

He wished him a long life.

So is he.

Guess whether time will smooth everything out.