you are unspeakable

Li Xinglu entered the ward, took out the cake and threw it into the trash can.Wang Qi watched him move expressionlessly, and he guessed that he might know.

Wang Qi seems to be used to keeping silence to the end. After being hospitalized for so long, his condition seems to be the same as when he first arrived, except that his body has grown flesh. It wasn't as bad as when he first came here, it's just because his skin was fair, he was still very pale.After discussing with several doctors, Liu Wen agreed that he should have improved, but mental illness can be hidden by the patient himself. Fortunately, after nearly two months of observation, Wang Qi's hallucinations are better than when he was just admitted to the hospital. Many, although he can hide his condition, he still shows some abnormalities when auditory hallucinations appear, and these abnormalities can be detected by experienced nurses and doctors.

The days in the hospital were muddled, and time seemed to have lost its meaning to Wang Qi. Before he knew it, the Lunar New Year was coming. For Chinese people, the meaning of the year is very special. Many inpatients in the hospital were taken home by their families for reunion , even if their illness may not be cured, even if their illness is only on hold, but mental illness is generally not life-threatening. Their loved ones have become something else, and it seems that all pain and wrongs can be forgiven briefly, at least on this day.

Wang Qi's departure also troubled Liu Wen for a short time. According to the usual practice, he should call Wang Qi's relatives, hoping that they would come to pick Wang Qi up. Qi was discharged from the hospital, what's more, maybe they will hurt Wang Qi, it's not certain, the taste of the new year is getting stronger and stronger, Liu Wen heard people around him saying happy new year to each other, he thought, maybe it's not a happy new year in the hospital. bad thing.

But someone had discharged Wang Qi from the hospital. Liu Wen didn't go to work that day. When he came the next day, he went to check the ward as usual, and found that there was no one in Wang Qi's ward.

Li Xinglu took Wang Qi home, not the house they rented together, but the house where he lived in Xuancheng for several years.

It was the first time for Wang Qi to come here. Li Xinglu held his wrist with one hand and held the suitcase with the other. He kept his eyes on him every few seconds, always paying attention to every move of the people around him.

Li Xinglu opened the door, put the suitcase aside, thoughtfully changed Wang Qi's shoes, and then dragged him to the sofa to let him have a rest. After speaking, Li Xinglu let go of his hand and went into the kitchen.Wang Qi looked at Li Xinglu's clean sofa, but did not sit down. He had been to this house before, and when he saw the stairs, Wang Qi remembered that he had slept here for the first time in so many years. The bed was awakened by the morning sun.

This is where they are together and Li Xinglu won't let him step in. During those days, Wang Qi may have imagined that one day he would really enter Li Xinglv's life, but those fantasies are like 1000 million people in a certain day. Like a lottery, people know that there is such a probability, but such a probability will always happen to someone else.

When one day this probability falls on her, Wang Qi only feels heavy, tired, and irritable. It turns out that the impossibility of the past really happened at the wrong time, and it will not bring the excitement and joy that I thought it would be. Food, as long as it has passed the expiration date, it will change its taste, if you force it into your stomach, you may die.

"This house was bought for me by my family when I graduated from college. It was my graduation gift." Li Xinglu walked up to Wang Qi with water: "Drink a cup of hot water. It's too cold. Your hands are fine." Ice." Li Xinglu stuffed the cup into his hand.

Wang Qi held it, lowered her head and took a small sip of water.

"I moved out from home to live here after work," Li Xinglu watched Wang Qi's movements with a smile in his eyes, and after he finished drinking, he took out the cup from Wang Qi's hand and put it on the table casually Go upstairs, holding his hand and going upstairs: "I'll show you around the house. Although it's not the first time you've come here, the last time was too hasty, so I didn't show you around."

"This is the viewing platform, the view is very good, look," Li Xinglu pointed to the scenery of Xuancheng: "You can have a panoramic view of the night view of Xuancheng here at night, and I heard that you can also see the sky in the summer. Stars, but don’t expect them. After all, I haven’t seen them until now. There is a swimming pool downstairs, but when it gets cold, I ask someone to release the water. Can you swim? If not, wait until next summer. I'll teach you how to swim."

"I like this balcony very much. The tea set is brought from my father. He is good at tea. I learned the tea ceremony from him since I was a child. Drinking tea can calm my mind. Over the years, whenever I feel restless, I will come back and make a pot of tea. After drinking it, I basically calmed down."

Li Xinglu took Wang Qi around the house with great interest, and explained the various facilities of the house in detail. During this period, Li Xinglu kept holding his wrist.

Wang Qi is very annoying, this is not a hospital, there are only two people here, he and Li Xinglu, he is very unwilling to face Li Xinglu, Li Xinglu took him out of the hospital, Wang Qi thought that Li Xinglu finally couldn't bear it and wanted to get rid of him He is a burden.

"I don't want to know that."

Li Xinglu stopped in his tracks and turned his head abruptly, the surprise on his face made Wang Qi lower his eyelids.

"It's been a long time..." Li Xinglu said, "You haven't talked to me."

Wang Qi was silent. It was enough for Li Xinglu to hear what Wang Qi said. He seemed in a good mood, and led him back downstairs: "You should know this, Wang Qi, you will live in the house for many years to come. Here, so you have to get familiar with it as soon as possible.”

Wang Qi didn't understand what Li Xinglu meant.

"You promised me to try," Li Xinglu said firmly, "I don't think our relationship has come to an end, we haven't started yet, I can't let you go, so I will take you with me," Li Xinglu let go Wang Qi's hand, but he turned around and stood on the steps in front of him. In this way, the height of the two became almost the same. Li Xinglu looked directly into Wang Qi's eyes and said word by word: "I used to be with you You said that I don’t make promises to others easily, it’s because once I promise, I must keep it, this is my principle, but now, I want to tell you, Wang Qi, I want to go on with you, this is what I give Your promise, let's forget about the past, okay, I will accompany you every year on June [-]st, I will take you to meet my friends, my parents, my life welcomes you, you Can you also give me a chance to enter your world."

Li Xinglu didn't hold out hope that Wang Qi could respond to him, he just said these things because he wanted to say, words don't mean anything, he is a man of action, he just needs to do what he says.

Just when Li Xinglu was about to turn around, Wang Qi spoke again, his voice was very soft, but it fell into Li Xinglu's ears accurately.

"Will you introduce me to your friends?"

"meeting."

"Will you take me home?"

"meeting."

"Will you accompany me on June [-]st?"

"meeting."

"why?"

"Because," Li Xinglu reached out to hug him, hugged him tightly, and rubbed the back of his head: "I really want to like you, not because of guilt, not because you are like Liu Wen, I admit, I was with you at the beginning because you were like him, like him in college, you suffered from the same disease, I thought you were the same person, I was wrong, I was too wrong, you are you, He is him, you have nothing alike, what I like is you, Wang Qi who hates eating any sweets."

Wang Qi didn't believe it.

He didn't even believe in himself, so how could he trust others, especially those who had hurt him once, but what Li Xinglu did in the days after that made Wang Qi shaken countless times.

For the first time since he left home, he was accompanied by someone during the Chinese New Year.

Li Xinglu prepared a sumptuous New Year's Eve dinner for him, Li Xinglu took him to the rooftop to set off fireworks, Li Xinglu accompanied him to watch the Spring Festival Gala, waited with him for the New Year's Zhong Sheng, and even prepared lucky money for him, Wang Qi was at a loss When I was young, a small gold bar was stuffed in my hand, with my name engraved on it, and four small letters on the back: Longevity and a hundred years.

"Do you know how scary you were that day?" Li Xinglu squeezed his hand and clenched the cold gold bar in his hand, slowly letting the temperature in his hand pass up: "Don't scare me anymore, this year my New Year's wish is I wish Wang Qi a long life, and every year I make a wish, and I will give you a gold bar."

Wang Qi didn't know what day he was talking about, but these were not important anymore. The sound of fireworks outside continued for a long time. After many years, Wang Qi felt that they were not so noisy to the ears for the first time. Being able to emit such a hot temperature makes my heart warm up.

Just a few minutes before midnight, Li Xinglu's cell phone rang non-stop. He leaned on the sofa with Wang Qi half in his arms. One after another, his friends asked him where to celebrate the New Year. He said he was at home, and his family asked Why didn't he go home for the New Year? He said he wanted to spend the New Year with the person he liked. His parents asked him when he would bring him home, and he said he would definitely bring him.

zero.

The New Year's bell rang, and the sound of Happy New Year came from the TV. The fireworks outside covered the sky like a thunderbolt. Wang Qi felt that his eyes were blurred. He couldn't see it for some reason, until a pair of warm big hands After touching his face, he realized that he had cried tears all over his face without knowing when.

"Happy New Year," Li Xinglu said with a smile while wiping his tears, "Wang Qi, Happy New Year."

new Year.

It really is a new year.

On the first day of the new year, Li Xinglu woke up from the sofa with Wang Qi in his arms. Li Xinglu had forgotten what time they went to bed last night. He only remembered that he hugged Wang Qi and talked a lot. .Li Xinglu subconsciously glanced at the person in his arms, and found that he was staring at him with his eyes open.

"Did you lose sleep last night?"

Wang Qi shook his head lightly, he had insomnia, but he also fell asleep.

"Happy New Year," Li Xinglu said again with a smile, reaching out to hug him tighter, but his chest was pierced. Looking carefully, it was the lucky money he gave Wang Qi last night.

Wang Qi shook hands all night, he tried his best to pull the corner of his lips, and smiled like Li Xinglu: "Happy New Year."