So you're secretly jealous again

Human beings in today's society are always very diligent.

The customer service on a certain treasure will not only chase people to call people for praise every day, but also remotely broadcast when they will start to do activities.Every time you enter a store, just stepping in with your toes, the enthusiastic face of the shopping guide immediately greets you.

The jewelry shopping guide in front of me, too.She is so enthusiastic, but in fact she doesn't necessarily like to talk about people's cp, and she just wants to sell things quickly when she praises people for being a good match.

But Xu Fengyi did not fail to understand, and even understood that people always have to live.

Then, Xu Fengyi pulled out a smile to block the lingering drumbeats in his heart one after another, and took the first step before Shu Jinshi could speak: "It's not what you think. I'm sorry, I really just want to see this, I have no intention Buy, I wish you a prosperous business!"

"Jinshi, have you packed your things?" Xu Fengyi looked sideways at Shu Jinshi, taking his eyes away from the enthusiastic face of the shopping guide.

Shu Jinshi looked at the shopping guide, then at the jewelry, and finally at her, nodding.

"Then let's go!"

Xu Fengyi flew out of the store as if fleeing, trotted a few steps and stood on the neatly laid floor tiles of the shopping mall, looking at the strings of small decorative flags floating on the ceiling above, let out shallow and long sighs gas.

The heart is a very wonderful thing, it involves many things, every time it beats vigorously, it will make people feel like their whole body is being staggered and reorganized.

It was as if her tongue had been cut off. After she came out of the jewelry store, Xu Fengyi wanted to say something to Shu Jinshi several times, but she couldn't start the conversation.

It's like holding a roll of scotch tape for a long time and can't find a hole that can be torn off smoothly, anxious and helpless.

In fact, this situation was not caused by the shopping guide's words. She had felt this way before the meal, or the moment she was caught in the garage.

The appearance of Shu Jinshi when he stood in the corner of the floor of the secret room and said he liked her kept replaying in her mind, which made it difficult for her to concentrate when she was doing other things.

Maybe this matter is actually easy to solve. As long as you take the initiative to provoke the topic and throw out the question "Does what you said before still count?", Shu Jinshi will definitely ask her what's the matter, and she will naturally say "You said you Like my thing".

But she just felt that her mouth was full of paste, and she couldn't utter this simple sentence properly.

Even if Shu Jinshi said that she liked her, she hesitated a bit:

does she really like meDoes she know that there are actually many, many, many shortcomings in me than she imagined?If she knew, would she still like me?

I don't know when I developed this coy temper and disapproval of myself.

In the final analysis, it may be because of all kinds of previous experiences.

In the first year after Mom and Dad divorced, Mom was drinking too much and neglecting her family, let alone taking care of her.

She took the initiative to take the responsibility to take care of the ups and downs of the house, but not only did she not get her mother's praise, but she was also trying to persuade her mother not to be sad. When she was about to go to bed, her mother pushed her backhand: You little brat, you understand What?

She was very sad, and talked about this with her best tablemate, but she yawned halfway through the conversation, and said a few words, "Fortunately, you are strong and optimistic, and you know how to take care of yourself. Take care of yourself." After that, when someone passed by and interrupted, he took advantage of the opportunity to chat with that person with a smile on his face, and put her aside.

But in fact, she also knew that she had to take care of herself, but she didn't say this to get this known answer.

She may need someone to pat her on the shoulder and say "It's hard work".

In addition, it was also at that time that she understood one thing, that is, there was a big gap between her in the eyes of others and the real her.Is she really strong and optimistic?Why does everyone think that way?Does Shu Jinshi think so too?

Just like this, she was immersed in the closed world woven by her own thinking, until a long standing sign came into view along her footsteps, and Xu Fengyi returned to reality.

The sign said that there was a Christmas Paradise light show on the first floor of the square, not only the colorful Christmas tree, the old man with the white beard and his reindeer, but also many food stalls.

Xu Fengyi had no idea about foreign solar terms, he could only see in his eyes that there were a lot of delicious food on the ground floor, so he stopped in his tracks.

Shu Jinshi stood beside her: "Do you want to go and have a look?"

"Okay! It looks great!" Xu Fengyi clapped his hands, showing a bright smile. As always, he looked familiar to everyone.

So the two quickened their pace and rushed to the straight elevator, but there were too many people, so they waited for two shifts before they squeezed together like sardines and reached the first floor with everyone.

Tens of seconds later, the elevator opened, and the crowded crowd loosened up, and the feeling of being squeezed out of breath dissipated in an instant.

Xu Fengyi looked up and realized that the first floor of the negative was even more beautiful than the promotional photos.

The neon is richly covered in layers, and the tall Christmas tree seems to pierce through the shopping mall. A snow scene is built next to it. The hexagonal snowflakes are made transparent and crystal-clear, and they are strung together and hung in various places, which is very beautiful.Xu Fengyi couldn't help thinking, if only the wind could blow in here, then they would definitely be able to collide with each other, sway, and become more beautiful.

"Wow..." Xu Fengyi looked at one side and then the other, and couldn't help sighing, "It's amazing here! But when will the light show start?"

She has a small brain, and forgets everything when she remembers to eat. She didn't pay attention to this just now.

Shu Jinshi glanced at the time: "One game every hour, every hour. If you want to watch the next game, you have to wait for a while."

Xu Fengyi nodded: "Then let's go around casually first?"

"Okay." Shu Jinshi readily accepted the proposal.

The two turned left and right into the venue selling delicious food.

It is true that people depend on food.

When there is a light show, everyone may gather there, but when there is no light show, this side is always more lively than that side.

Every stall was packed with people.

Sticking bonito flowers, takoyaki filled with various sauces looks like cute little fat people. A glance at the glutinous rice cakes sifted with thick soybean flour can remind people of the feeling of being drowned in a piece of soft glutinous glutinous rice. The sizzling squids made of real sauce are plump and attractive in color, and all the food is presented in their most beautiful appearance, which makes the passing children want everything, pulling at the corner of their mother's clothes and screaming.

"Jinshi, when I was a child, I wanted to grow up quickly every day. Do you know why?" Xu Fengyi took a bowl of tender tofu wrapped in red chili sauce from a kind uncle, and turned around. Looking at Shu Jinshi.

Shu Jinshi watched her nibbling tofu, and looked at the fluffy strands of hair on her forehead: "I want to grow up quickly, earn enough money, and then buy everything I want without blinking."

Xu Fengyi's thoughts froze for a second, raised his head to look at her, and suddenly covered his lips with a smile and said, "Ah, how do you know? I thought this was a specific idea that only poor children would have."

It's normal for Xu Fengyi to think this way.Because she feels that it is always difficult for people to empathize with things that have not been experienced, so the reasons why children from rich families want to grow up quickly and the reasons why children from poor people want to grow up quickly should not overlap. right.

Shu Jinshi laughed, like the sun in early spring: "There is nothing difficult to understand. In fact, everyone is the same. The more you want to have what you lack. It's the same as when I was a child, I didn't want to live at home. I wanted to grow up and be independent quickly, and then move out. .There is no essential difference between these two things.

Xu Fengyi looked at her holding the soft and tender iron plate tofu, and suddenly laughed.

Shu Jinshi is Shu Jinshi, I can't tell what is different, anyway, he is different from others.Maybe it's this difference that allows them to communicate well even if they didn't grow up in the same circle.

Smiling and laughing, on the way back to watch the light show, Xu Fengyi continued to ask among the crowd: "Jin Shi, what kind of person do you see me in your eyes? Can you tell me well? I think Listen. Real, deep, kind of."

When she asked this sentence, she looked very serious, and at the same time, her eyes flickered, and she was very disturbed.

Why do you ask this?

In the end, it was because everyone used adjectives like "cheerful", "generous", and "sunshine" when they mentioned her.

Suddenly, she remembered something again.

I still remember that when I was 17 years old, I was so overwhelmed by negative emotions that I couldn’t breathe. When I went to seek a friend at that time and cried, a deep surprise flashed in the friend’s eyes.

The friend said: "Hey, you look very lively and cheerful, why are you so sad?"

Immediately afterwards, the friend comforted: "You want to open up a little bit, life is like this, ups and downs are normal."

Finally, the friend smiled and said: "But I think you look okay, maybe you are too tired recently, take a rest! You can walk out soon!"

……

Xu Fengyi felt that everyone wanted to see her sunny and cheerful shell more than her gloomy little person living in her heart.

Rounding off is that if everyone finds out that she actually has a dark side, they probably won't like her so much.

Maybe she is cheerful, but sometimes she is sad.When mourning, you can go without food for many days, and the word "repression" floats in the whole room.Although as soon as she went out, a smile would quickly appear on her face again.

Why is she still skinny after eating so much?Because she always goes through that time from time to time.

Sometimes, she is not more sunny than everyone, nor cuter than everyone, and it can even be said that she is simply pretending in many cases.

Everyone praised her as a little sun, but they didn't know that she couldn't enjoy those praises at all, and couldn't bear them.

In fact, there is one thing that she never told anyone, because when it happened, she immediately pulled it out of her memory and locked it in a small box in her heart, never letting it out.

That is, when Yi Zhiya broke up with her, he not only said that she was too conservative and boring, but also said...

Well, Yi Zhiya said: "And you are really not what you are in my eyes. I can't return the goods if they are not right? If I had known that you were like this early in the morning, I wouldn't even bother to start chasing you."

This is a sentence without any dirty words, and it even seems reasonable. It is a sentence that if you yell at her, you will appear to be very unqualified.

But it was just such a passage that made her heart ache and made her feel that she was a failure.

As long as I think about it, my eyes will heat up and my whole body will feel uncomfortable.

This time is no exception.

So she just released this memory puzzle for a few seconds, and then hurriedly closed the sentence again.

So when she meets someone like Shu Jinshi, she can't help but start thinking: "She is so nice, so nice like an illusion. Will God really put such a perfect person in my hands? Or, Is all this just an illusion woven by God for me?"

"If she finds out that the real me is not like this, will she still like me? Will she feel depressed because of this, and want to leave without looking back, but just want to sigh because there is no reason for riding a tiger? "

"She often praises me for being cute. She likes my cuteness, but if one day she finds that I am not cute, will she still like me?"

Then when she saw Shu Jin, she lightly stopped her pace, looked into the distance, and seemed to be thinking seriously.

After an unknown amount of time, Shu Jinshi said, "Very cute."

Xu Fengyi's hand holding the snack froze all of a sudden.After silently eating the last piece of tofu, she threw the box into the trash can beside her.

Then, when she came back, she heard Shu Jinshi continue to say: "You are careful to cover up your small thoughts, which is both cute and distressing."

Xu Fengyi raised his head again, his eyes were filled with tiny spots of light: "Huh?"

Shu Jinshi had his hands behind his back, the fabric on his knees tightened and wrinkled as he walked, and the hair on his shoulders rose up and fell down, with a quiet appearance.

Closing his eyelashes, Shu Jinshi stared at the floor tiles: "The first time I found this, it was because of the car. I said you come to live, and I will match you with a car. Then you can just say ordinary. Because you don't want to be caught by the company. But I think, besides that, there should be another reason? You don’t want to spend my money like that, right? Even though you know I don’t need that money, you still stick to your principles, just so cute."

"When my mother said she was coming over, you immediately asked very seriously and recorded all her preferences. You changed into the color your elders liked, and made her favorite food. You promised to act My girlfriend, you acted seriously. You probably don’t want my mother to think that you are not good enough, so as to embarrass me? So you did everything you can. And, you were so busy at that time, you Obviously you can just order some takeaway and put it on a plate to fool you, but you didn't, you did it seriously, it's really cute."

"It's the same with Chen Siqi. You are obviously not a person who likes to disrupt your plans, but you still agreed to sleep with her. In fact, there is another reason besides that she is your senior sister. You don't want to see her." Sad because of your rejection? You really care about people's feelings."

"When I was talking to Niannian earlier, I mentioned that I was very concerned about the circle of friends. After you clearly found out that I was concerned about this, you just quietly opened the authority, right? Even though you may, you have not really thought about it. Do you want to let me into your life?"

"There is also Lu Yuan, I only recently realized that the reason why you set up the note of that little fairy for her is because after you exchanged WeChat, she set up a "cute elf" for you on her side Remarks, so you think there must be back and forth, so you also set up a fairy remark for her, right?"

"I see, you are taking everyone seriously," Shu Jinshi said back, turning his head to the side, and gave her a shallow smile, "Be careful and cautious, for fear that you are not good enough and will be abandoned by others. In fact, How many people in this world are perfect?"

I'm afraid I'm not good enough...

Xu Fengyi didn't know what happened, as the stars in her eyes became more and more, her nose suddenly became blocked.

She thought that only she knew about these things, and she never thought that anyone other than herself would see them...

Shu Jinshi looked at her quietly:

"I don't think you're good enough like that..."

"When I see you like that, I can only think, if possible, can I take care of you, for this life, for the rest of my life."

The voice is calm and quiet.

At the same time, the light in the venue erupted suddenly with the sound of a song, blended and separated, separated and intertwined, colorful and swaying, causing screams one after another.Everyone took out their mobile phones and turned on the recording mode. The scene was extremely noisy for a while, and some elderly people even covered their ears because they were about to lose weight.

But Xu Fengyi couldn't feel the slightest hustle and bustle.

For these noisy pictures, she could neither see nor hear anything, and felt as if she was in a wilderness.

All she knew was that Shu Jin was standing in front of her at this moment, his beautiful eyes filled with pure tenderness.

All she knew was that Shu Jinshi was saying, "Can you let me take care of you, this life, this life, for the rest of your life."

Afterwards, Xu Fengyi rushed forward without hesitation, hugged Shu Jinshi, and put his face close to her arms, but couldn't say anything.

She clearly felt a very warm feeling, but she couldn't hold back the tears that kept falling down, sticking her eyelashes and soaking a large area of ​​her face.

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Okay, the rest of the article is not long