withered lover

After Du Zhinian finished eating the noodles that Shen Guiwan cooked, he put the used pot, bowls and chopsticks into the dishwasher.

Listening to the noise from the kitchen, Shen Guiwan slowly stood up and went to the bathroom to wash up.

He didn't ask Du Zhinian again if he felt uncomfortable, and after Du Zhinian lay down, he leaned into Du Zhinian's arms as always, obediently and quietly.

Du Zhinian put his arms around Shen Guiwan, rubbing his fingers on his shoulders, with the words of apology on the tip of his tongue, he struggled for a long time and finally decided to say it, but when he turned his head, he found that Shen Guiwan in his arms had already fallen asleep.

He waited for himself all night, but not only did he fail to spend the New Year's Eve together, but he was trampled on for his well-meaning care.

And not only did he not come back as soon as he promised, the stomachache caused by alcoholism made Shen Guiwan worry for nothing, and the unintentional teasing also poked at the most sensitive part of this relationship.

New Year's Eve shouldn't be spent like this, but Du Zhinian has already missed the best time to apologize.

An unspeakable guilt welled up in his heart, his chest seemed to be stuffed with cotton, and it was so sour and dull that he couldn't breathe.

Du Zhinian was exhausted both physically and mentally, but he couldn't fall asleep with his arms around Shen Guiwan. Whenever he closed his eyes, what appeared in his mind was the image of Shen Guiwan bowing his head in silence.

After staying up late into the night without a word of blessing, only a few ugly words of ridicule, it would be impossible for Du Zhinian to stay by Shen Guiwan's side as if nothing had happened.

If Shen Guiwan had lost his temper with him at that time and asked him why he said that, Du Zhinian would not have felt much pain in his heart.But Shen Guiwan has never been such a person, he will not complain or get angry, and always endure everything in silence.

Du Zhinian sighed heavily. He kept his eyes open and couldn't sleep until late at night. In the end, his exhausted body couldn't bear it anymore, and he fell asleep when he closed his eyes lightly.

Du Zhinian had no dreams all night, and when he woke up the next day, it was already noon, and Shen Guiwan was still lying beside him, staring at the ceiling in a daze.

"Shen Guiwan." Du Zhinian called him.

The people beside him turned their heads and looked at him without blinking.

Shen Guiwan's eyes were clear and bright, without a trace of drowsiness, the eyelids slowly closed and opened, the slender and slightly curled eyelashes fluttered gently, causing a shiver in Du Zhinian's heart.

Du Zhinian wrapped Shen Guiwan in his arms, kissed his cheek and apologized in a low voice: "I'm sorry, I was the one who was wrong last night."

"I drank too much and said nothing, but there is absolutely no sarcasm insinuating you."

"I know." Shen Guiwan closed his eyes to accept Du Zhinian's kiss, "Does your stomach still hurt?"

fraud.Du Zhinian secretly slandered in his heart.

But after Shen Guiwan said this, it would be too obvious to explain again, he shook his head, "It doesn't hurt anymore, do you want to cook at home at noon today?"

The ingredients ordered yesterday were still in the refrigerator, and the hoarded vegetables and green leaves almost drowned Du Zhinian's beer on the bottom shelf.

"It's all fine." Shen Guiwan paused after finishing speaking, "Du Zhinian, don't need to bring me breakfast next time."

He can take care of three meals a day by himself, not to mention living in Du Zhinian's house, the food and cash that were in short supply are no longer a problem. Apart from losing his appetite during this period, Shen Guiwan never went hungry again.

"Would you eat breakfast on time if I didn't prepare it?" Du Zhinian leaned on Shen Guiwan's shoulder and asked with a half-smile.

Shen Guiwan ate three meals a day very irregularly, one early meal and one late meal, but at least after waking up, he stuffed something into his stomach, so he barely ate breakfast on time.

Shen Guiwan lowered his head and thought for a while, then said, "I will do it."

This answer is actually very ambiguous, knowing how to cook is different from eating on time, but Du Zhinian recalled the clear soup and plain noodles that Shen Guiwan cooked for himself yesterday, the two tastes were very different, so he didn't force him.

"There is a fish head in the refrigerator, take it out at noon to make fish head with chopped peppers." Du Zhinian turned over and started discussing lunch with Shen Guiwan, "My stomach doesn't hurt anymore, I want spicy food."

"Okay." Shen Guiwan propped himself up and sat up, ready to get out of bed to prepare lunch.

Looking at his thin back, Du Zhinian suddenly put his arms around his waist, and hugged him back into his arms.

"Forget it, let's make fish head soup, I'll make it up for you." Du Zhinian touched the slightly protruding ribs under Shen Guiwan's chest, his voice a little sullen.

Shen Guiwan leaned against Du Zhinian's arms and let him touch them back and forth. After a while, he finally said: "It's okay, I don't eat fish."

Fish meat is better than steamed buns, and the addition of shredded ginger won’t give off a strong fishy smell, but Shen Guiwan doesn’t like it.

"Picky eaters." Du Zhinian spat out two words from his thin lips, and finally there was a hint of a smile in his tone.

Waking up and staying in bed for another half an hour, by the time Shen Guiwan got out of bed and started cooking, it was already past the normal lunch time.

He was slow alone, so Du Zhinian followed into the kitchen to help.

Shen Guiwan is very sensitive to the smell of chili peppers, although it is not to the point of an allergy, but he was choked up to tears a few times before, so this time Du Zhinian helped him cut the chili peppers in advance, and poured them down when cooking.

He made fish head with chopped pepper for Du Zhinian, and when he was frying the cabbage, he added the leftover pepper from making the fish head into it.

Du Zhinian ate the chopped pepper fish head as he wished, and his body and mind, which had been tortured by stomach pain, were soothed. In the afternoon, he dragged Shen Guiwan to hang out on the bed until dark.

He leaned on Shen Guiwan's shoulder and whispered coaxing words, his warm and moist kisses fell on the fresh scars, and cherry-colored flowers bloomed on the dry branches.

No one mentioned what happened the night before, and the abrupt words were forgotten in the corner. As for whether they stabbed anyone's heart or planted a sharp thorn in the fragile heart, the answer to this question was naturally uncertain. And know.

Three days later, the first holiday of the Gregorian New Year ended, and as the Spring Festival approached, Du Zhinian's work became a little more leisurely.

He goes out to work early every day, and comes back from get off work on time at night, even half of the time in a week can catch up with Shen Guiwan's dinner, and sometimes when there is no surgery scheduled in the afternoon, he will call and tell Shen Guiwan that he wants to eat tonight What.

Shen Guiwan basically knows how to cook, but he can't eat spicy food, and he can't taste the taste when cooking, and the food he cooks is always lighter than the outside.

Du Zhinian ate the hot food, remembering the lesson of talking nonsense last time, he added seasonings when he felt that the taste was bland, and he didn't complain to Shen Guiwan about nonsense.

Shen Guiwan has only been living in Du Zhinian's house for a month since he was injured, and his behavior is becoming less and less like a lover, just as Du Zhinian had inadvertently teased.

But in fact, he had sought Du Zhinian's consent in advance for every move he made, and within the scope of Du Zhinian's permission, there was no more than half a point.

Shen Guiwan's concern and care are all human, but after being drunk, Du Zhinian figured out his intentions, his heart that was so hard to warm up seemed to be thrown into an ice cellar, and instantly cooled down.

He became even more silent, and always had a docile and obedient look in front of Du Zhinian. Even if he was so hot that he was uncomfortable, he never refused Du Zhinian's request.

Du Zhinian occasionally saw Shen Guiwan busy in the kitchen, heard his sniffing, and wanted to ask him several times if he was tired, but after hesitating for a long time, he finally couldn't ask.

Here Du Zhinian was thinking wildly in his mind, Shen Guiwan, who was cooking in the kitchen, actually didn't care too much.

For him, Du Zhinian was willing to take in such a troublesome person as him, which was the most fortunate thing, not to mention that Du Zhinian bandaged his wound and took good care of him when he was sick and had a fever.

Although Du Zhinian's mouth was a bit poisonous, Shen Guiwan had heard worse abuse from Shen Luna. Compared with the humiliation of his biological father, those unintentional words were nothing at all. It will be a little bit lost.

But other than that, Shen Guiwan didn't feel uncomfortable living in Du Zhinian's house.

He lived a comfortable and free life without food and clothing problems, so he naturally did not object to cooking for Du Zhinian.

It's just that every time he cooks for Du Zhinian, Shen Guiwan always feels like he's back in middle school.

At that time, his mother was worn down by violence and disease, unable to do housework, so he learned to do housework, wash clothes and cook.

Shen Guiwan ate whatever his mother did, she was never picky, and she would never dislike his cooking.

But Du Zhinian was different. He was very picky about his taste and always wanted those heavy oily and spicy dishes.

Shen Guiwan couldn't tell what it was like when he heard Du Zhinian discussing dinner with him, the vacancy in his heart seemed to be filled a little bit, but the cracks in other places were torn open again.

Whenever he cuts vegetables with a kitchen knife, his brain always uncontrollably thinks of the first time he threatened Shen Lu with a knife seven years ago, and his mother's disappointed expression. A faint sting.

Shen Guiwan couldn't hold the knife, the juice splashed when the chili was chopped fell into his eyes, and the stimulated lacrimal glands kept secreting tears.

He faced the chopping board and sobbed softly, his eyes were red from crying. When Du Zhinian came back and saw it, he touched his red eyes and asked him if he cut the chili peppers, and told him in a worried and reproachful tone Don't do it next time.

Shen Guiwan agreed, and the next day he continued to chop peppers and make Du Zhinian's favorite dish.

Like the mother who shed tears at the onion in his memory, he vented his unresolved feelings through the stimulation of peppers.

Only then did he not look cowardly and incompetent when he wept.

Shen Guiwan felt the pain, and also found a way to vent his accumulated emotions. Compared with the days of walking dead in Shen's house, he seemed to be alive again here.

He went in and out of Du Zhinian's apartment freely, and the ordinary life passed so quickly that he thought he would pass through the year of pain and absurdity entangled so plainly, and usher in the lonely and lingering Spring Festival.

But when the time came to the last week before the Spring Festival, Lu Yi, whom he hadn't contacted for a long time, sent an email, pulling Shen Guiwan back from the warm and quiet dream to reality.

Lu Yi: I'm back in China, and the things you want are ready, let's make an appointment to meet before the Chinese New Year.