Self-knowledge

After arriving home and closing the door, Ye Xiang sat on the sofa and lit a cigarette.

Nicotine helped him maintain his last sense of reason. He couldn't remember the first cigarette he smoked today, and his plan to quit smoking was left behind early on.

He watched in silence as Lin Jiaxu took off his coat, tie, tie pin, and cufflinks one by one.Ye Xiang tied the tie for him before going out, and Ye Xiang bought the tie clip and cuffs for him.Lin Jiaxu stood in front of him, frowning and looking down, the shadow cast on his face.

"What are you doing?" Lin Jiaxu said in an unhappy tone, "If you arrive late and leave early, you have the most things to do."

"I have a stomachache."

Then Lin Jiaxu frowned even tighter, and asked impatiently, "No, why do you have a stomachache again? If you have a stomachache, you should go to the hospital if you have a stomachache."

Ye Xiang suddenly felt ridiculous to the point of being ridiculous, and the last bit of nostalgia was ruthlessly washed away.

"I'll give you a chance to explain." Ye Xiang stared at Lin Jiaxu closely, and said slowly, "I'll give you a chance."

"What's the explanation? Have you had enough trouble? You still lost your temper last time? Do you want to disrespect me in front of my friends?!" The other party raised his voice.

Ye Xiang stood up, looked at Lin Jiaxu at the same level, and said in the calmest tone of his life, "I said it, and I will give you an explanation. What is your relationship with Ji Zeye?"

Lin Jiaxu was stunned for a moment, and a second later he yelled angrily, "You question me? What right do you have to question me? Don't fucking change the subject for me! I'm asking you! Answer me first! What the hell are you doing? !Like a dead man all day!"

"Lin Jiaxu!"

The effect of the last bit of nicotine disappeared, heartache, unbearable, angry, humiliated, Ye Xiang stared fiercely at the man in front of him who he swore to love all his life but was now very strange.

He wanted to say the cruel words that lingered in his heart, and the last bit of reluctance and nostalgia in his heart told him, let alone, he stretched out his hand to wrap around Lin Jiaxu's left arm, and locked it tightly again and again, as if by doing so, this person would not leave him.

"Let go!"

"..."

"Let go!"

Lin Jiaxu suffered from pain in his left hand, and pushed Ye Xiang away not to be outdone, and if he couldn't push, he used another hand to pinch Ye Xiang's forearm, trying to make him let go.

Ye Xianghong stared at the other party with eyes wide open, and locked it with all her might, stubbornly refusing to let go.

He knew that he was in a panic, his heart was clamoring for pain, hesitation, fear, and sadness, and he clung to Lin Jiaxu as tightly as if he was grabbing a stalk of life-saving straw.

"You fucking lunatic! Crazy!"

Lin Jiaxu cursed angrily and punched him in the abdomen, his fragile stomach was hit in the head, a whirlwind of pain swept over him, Ye Xiang reflexively let go of his hand, and slammed back on the sofa hard.

The two sides were silent for a minute, Ye Xiang lowered his head.

Lin Jiaxu stretched out his hand hesitantly, but saw the hatred and determination in Ye Xiang's raised eyes.

"Lin Jiaxu, let's break up."

Ye Xiang woke up early in the morning of the next day, lying on the sofa at Sun Xiao's house, the sun shone through a crack in the curtains and shone on his face.He raised his hand to shade the sun and stared blankly for a while.

After breaking up with Lin Jiaxu yesterday, as expected, Lin Jiaxu was furious. Other than the unbelievable anger, his questioning and questioning were nothing more than those few clichés. In his mouth, Ye Xiang seemed to be heinous: seven years of relationship, previous promises are nothing; all day long Showing a straight face to anyone; not letting him touch it, and the occasional "impromptu" sex is also a huge mistake in his eyes; he is a ruthless liar through and through.

As if standing on the moral high ground, all mistakes can be overturned and start all over again, Ye Xiang has nothing to do, he is just tired.The string in my heart is like an elastic rope, the tighter it is, the more painful it will be when it is loosened.

He just wanted an answer, his stomach and heart were in severe pain, and he just wanted an answer stubbornly.

"I just want one answer."

"Ji Zeye?" Lin Jiaxu sneered, the coldness in his eyes bottomless, "Yes, I admit, I have met him many times these days."

"You asked me if I liked him? Yes, I was tempted. Do you fucking care? Huh?"

I've been tempted.

I, move, heart, pass.

……

At that moment, Ye Xiangsheng had never felt that kind of pain in his life. His heart, liver, spleen, lungs and stomach seemed to be torn apart countless times, and the oppressive and silent darkness came over his face, covering his mouth and nose so that he couldn't breathe, and fragments of memory struck him. Come, those nights of sleeping in each other's arms, the tenderness of ear-to-eye contact, and the palpitations of warm first embrace, seem to turn into phantom butterflies, and Feiyuan will never see you again.

He was abandoned.

A person, in the cold and impermanent burial ground, his love, youth and innocence are buried under his feet.

He turned back into that quiet boy again, watching his parents and younger brother live happily together forever, while he was an unwelcome burden.

In the past seven years, he has obtained the supreme happiness, a family, and also experienced the pain of extinction.

He still left with the last decency of an adult, even though he knew dignity and love, he had been trampled to the bottom of his feet long ago and there was nothing left.

The house belonged to Lin Jiaxu, Ye Xiang called Sun Xiao as soon as he left the house, and said with a very chic smile, "Honey, I broke up."

Stomach pain so numb, I went to the 24-hour pharmacy to buy some commonly used medicines, took a taxi, and cried unmanly.

The radio station sang the countdown, and the streets were filled with countdown men and women, and everyone's face seemed to be full of sweetness.

The driver drove the car without saying a word. Ye Xiang thanked the unmasked driver for giving him the last dignity. He rolled down the window a little bit, and the biting cool wind blew on his cheeks.

He took off the plain ring engraved with "Lin & Ye", it was just a sterling silver ring bought casually on the roadside, it had faded long ago, and he had worn it for seven full years.

He attaches the ring to the final kiss and throws a beautiful parabola out the window.

Without looking back, the car drove him towards the edge of the city.

All the way up and down, he finally lost his love.

Goodbye, my Lin Jiaxu.