Leap past the confused days of life

The weather in late spring is still cold, and the breath of spring is gradually appearing. The sky in the northern country is as clear as water, and the fresh air is filled with the fragrance of soil.Touching the scene, the blue sky made me feel full of thoughts, as if I saw a scene full of vitality in spring, I was looking for a frank life in my mind, and I wanted to choose a new direction from the lost life path.

I listened to a professor's lecture on the elements of Chinese philosophy, and his argument on the origin of the idea of ​​governance and chaos, that governance is governed by chaos.However, he also admires the Taoist spirit of inaction and governance, and he naturally speaks clearly and logically, with a mysterious philosophical consciousness, and his profound philosophical ideas are convincing.

I haven’t read any theoretical books on governance by doing nothing. I heard that this is the Taoist thought and the theoretical basis of doing nothing.

The subtle influence and formation process of this kind of thought has penetrated into people's minds. The formation of thought needs a long time of experience before it can be penetrated into it. Only those who understand a point or a link of things can look at everything with an open-mindedness. To be a broad-minded person, what kind of experience does it take to have a broad-minded mind, and the experience of life is tempered?

There will be many kinds of tempering in life, such as self-cultivation in the depths of the soul, and external environment. People who have experienced various life setbacks are indifferent to new setbacks and blows.

Man is an advanced animal with high IQ. In the process of evolution, the greatest progress of man should be the creativity of adapting to the environment and self-made tools. People who make tools for survival are the most intelligent creations.

I work behind closed doors, my thoughts are sealed at home, and I can’t face all the pressures of real life and the outside world. The simple life makes me numb, and I almost lose my language function in work and life. I don’t want to talk and debate with others because I feel tired. At the extreme, I can't arouse any interest in people and things, and the psychological barrier of hating evil and hatred makes me tend to be autistic, and I can't escape the shackles of such demons in my mind.

It seems that I am busy every day, and I don’t know what to do. Maybe I quietly watch the changes in the world around me, maybe I regard myself as a bystander, and rarely put forward my own views and opinions. I just work hard and do my best without saying a word. My own work and work, such behavior is regarded by the people around me as a fool without thinking, out of tune with the times and eliminated.

I also tried to laugh, tried to flatter, to please others, to tell others about the ups and downs and sufferings in my life and my inner journey, and I also wanted to make stories about the jokes I heard, but no one wanted to listen to my nonsense language.

I have extensively read novels, essays, operas, Chinese and foreign masterpieces, wandering in illusory word games, reciting poems and prose all day long, being swayed by wonderful emotions, and even intoxicated in self-cultivation.

Indulging in other people's absurd dreams, I am ashamed to dream my own dreams.When I was young, I smoked a lot, thinking in the smog, and wandering in front of the temptation of interests. I didn't have the courage to get rid of the confusion of human nature, to grasp my destiny, learn from others' strengths, and make up for my own weaknesses. That's why I groped in the dark.

I have no formal education, and in the face of the tide of practical knowledge changing my destiny, I feel at a loss and powerless, and I don't have the courage to catch up, because I often make mistakes in my busy schedule, which makes me exhausted and has no time to take care of it. If you want to learn more, you will definitely not be able to settle down to carry out the necessary studies, but when you face life directly, you will be discouraged. If you continue like this, you will not be interested in doing anything. Of course, all of this is caused by yourself.

The terrible inferiority complex thinks that I have been ashamed, so I become depressed, even unable to recover after a setback, the struggle in life is restricted, and I am also affected by hints. I can only say that I am weak-willed, unable to resist the forgetfulness of the treacherous villain, and cannot abandon it. Distracting thoughts, bad phenomena, and people with bad behavior fought thoroughly. I was shy to express myself, and was forced to admit the status quo, resulting in depression and a negative attitude towards life, and pushed myself into a desperate situation.

Confucius said: A gentleman should constantly strive for self-improvement and eliminate human desires.It is believed that how can people not have the desires of the seven emotions and six desires, and all people have to suffer from the physical and spiritual torture of instinct, and only by self-control can they get out of the predicament.

I used to be a little boy with a runny nose. From time to time, I wiped my nose on my sleeves. The sleeves were shiny and shiny. A wonderful change has taken place. When I hide my sleeves in front of girls, I know how to hide my shame.

My studies are almost over, and my mind is still blank. The student days have been spent in such a ridiculous way, and the girl who admired me has long been forgotten by me.I don't have the spirit of resistance, and I lack the innocent and lively appearance, but I understand the moment when I am shy, and I also understand the truth of studying hard. Gone forever, the children of that era didn't quite understand the truth of reading and learning, and they didn't know the truth that learning can change their destiny until very late.

In fact, they are all standing on the same starting line. When I was young, I didn’t have the concept of learning knowledge at all. When I wanted to read, I realized that the book has its own words and the beauty of the golden house, so I eagerly studied hard. Only then did I realize that if I have the skills needed by God to write through ten thousand volumes of writing, it all comes from reading more and studying hard.

Days passed, and the child became a middle-aged person, but he didn't make any progress, he was still a vulgar person, he didn't learn anything, he was still the same, simple-minded, he didn't learn the slightest resistance spirit, and he was tolerant to others He is still in a state of kindness and kindness, but he is still flustered and unable to hold himself up, unable to calmly face the worries of reality and the reprimands of big shots.

In my early thirties, I was determined to create literature, and I was determined to make a final decision on my life. I didn’t discuss it with my relatives. Method aspires to form its own style.

The random writing that surprised me, suddenly one day the speed of writing and the way of thinking improved, which was absolutely impossible to achieve before.I want to write like this to achieve a qualitative leap through the accumulation of quantity, one step at a time, and I am secretly happy when I make a little progress. With deep skill, even an iron pestle can be ground into a needle.

Time flies, at forty there is no doubt, at fifty one knows destiny, and one grows old unknowingly, and the wrinkles on the face are deeply imprinted with time, like the bark of an old tree.I can't help but feel the sadness in my heart, my face is full of melancholy, and I no longer have the frivolous and persistent belief in the cardamom age, so I have to put an end to my ideal at this age.