round spring

On early summer nights, the pain is like the wind, not passing by the edge quietly, but filling me completely.

——An Yuan's Diary

Shen Xingchun stopped and didn't go any further. He put An Yuan off his back and pulled him to the steps by the side of the road.

An Yuan was pulled by him, telling him to go wherever, he stood on the steps, Shen Xingchun stood under the steps, at this height, they could look at each other.

Behind An Yuan was a very thick sycamore tree, and the street lamp next to it was steadily shining on top of the two of them. The bright color illuminated An Yuan's eyes clearly, and the haze was blown out by alcohol and the evening wind. Water stains, like barking spring eyes.

Shen Xingchun was distressed, but also angry. He didn't expect that An Yuan would always have such thoughts.

"Have you ever thought about breaking up with me since you were with me?"

Shen Xingchun's eyes were dark when he spoke, and his emotions were suppressed to the bottom.

An Yuan lowered his head, his hair was blown by the wind and moved, a few strands of hair hung on his eyelashes, there was the sound of a car horn on the road, and it drove away quickly with a beep.

Seeing that An Yuan didn't speak, Shen Xingchun held his face with both hands, dragged his chin to raise his head, looked into his eyes, and asked again, "Is it?"

An Yuan blinked, and the water in his eyes slipped down. He wanted to wipe it off with his hand, but Shen Xingchun didn't let him cry.

"Xiao Yuan'er, you have been by my side since you were 12 years old. We have been together since the beginning, from dawn to dusk. I have never been really angry with you, but I am very angry now." Shen Xingchun's voice was different from his. So peaceful on the surface.

"I'm not ready to go back on my word. No matter what I did with you or not, I'm not ready to let you go from the day you come back."

"An Yuan..." Shen Xingchun's name and surname are An Yuan, his voice is very powerful, and it seems to have a long and irresistible magic power, "Do you, you only remember that I rejected you, but you can't remember it. The little white-eyed wolf who only remembers to fight but not to eat?"

"Brother, I'm not," An Yuan wanted to explain, "I just..."

"It's just what? It's just that you make me become only you now, and then tell me, brother, I allow you to stop, do you know that I will also feel uncomfortable when you say that..."

An Yuan's tears slid down the corner of his mouth, Shen Xingchun wiped him with the palm of his hand, and continued to ask: "If I really stop calling now, what are you going to do, just walk away and never come back, right? Hiding in your corner and pretend nothing happened, eh?"

An Yuan shook her head, "Brother, I'm not, even if you tell me to stop, I will..."

Me too, An Yuan didn't say anything later, because he didn't know what would happen to Shen Xingchun if he really stopped.

In fact, he didn't dare to think about the existence of this possibility.

Shen Xingchun went back with An Yuan on his back in the second half of the journey. An Yuan's brain was dizzy after drinking, and she lay on Shen Xingchun's back in a daze, and called Shen Xingchun after a while.

Sometimes it's called brother, sometimes it's called Chun brother, sometimes it's the same as when I was a child, it's called brother, and sometimes it's called Shen Xingchun's name directly.

But Shen Xingchun didn't answer once, just walked back silently with An Yuan on his back.

An Yuan was a bit slow to react after drinking, but he still thought about it a lot. No one knows better than him what Shen Xingchun treats him.

Because after so many years of liking, after finally having a foothold, he suddenly became unsteady. He was afraid that one day Shen Xingchun would suddenly take away his foothold and take back the response given to him.

But just now, he seemed to have a clear idea.

Brother Chun will not regret it, nor will he say stop.

Shen Xingchun went upstairs with An Yuan on his back, and after opening the door, he carried An Yuan directly into the bedroom, without even turning on the light, leaving only the cool and white moon hanging on the glass window.

"Brother Chun..." An Yuan murmured softly.

When he was lying on the bed, he seemed to have fallen into the waves. It wasn't until he felt Shen Xingchun's breath in his ear that he finally found the sense of stability in the adrift.

Shen Xingchun took off their shoes, knelt and sat on the edge of the bed, dragged An Yuan's waist with both hands and sat him up on his lap, wrapped his arms around his back with one hand, and pulled off his collar with the other.

Shen Xingchun's actions were a bit fierce. When An Yuan's clothes were taken off by him, he tore two buttons on his collar, and the buttons fell to the ground with a few ding dings, which was obvious.

Shen Xingchun directly threw An Yuan's clothes onto the floor at the end of the bed, his hands were a little cold, and An Yuan felt the cold on his back.

Shen Xingchun kissed An Yuan's lips that were red and smelled of wine, pressed An Yuan's shoulder, squeezed and asked: "Geng Bai told me, today you were almost hit on the shoulder?"

An Yuan raised her head, put her arms around Shen Xingchun's waist and looked up at him. Although the light was off, the moonlight was enough for them to see each other's expressions clearly. Shen Xingchun was frowning and his jaw was tense.

An Yuan shook his head and said, "No, I wasn't hit. The staff next to me gave me a hand."

"What if no one pulls? Do I have to see you in the hospital now?" Shen Xingchun's voice was a little deep.

An Yuan hugged Shen Xingchun's waist more tightly than before, and pressed her face against his chest, but did not answer Shen Xingchun's words.

He said slowly, "Let's do it."

If Shen Xingchun could bear it, he was really out of order. The window in the bedroom was not closed, and a bit of night wind blew in, so it wasn't cold, but An Yuan still shivered all over, and his upper body pressed closer to Shen Xingchun's chest.

An Yuan straddled Shen Xingchun's lap, there was nowhere to hide his reaction, nowhere to hide, and he knew that he didn't need to hide.

Although Shen Xingchun didn't look at An Yuan's face, he could feel his getting hotter and more unsteady breathing.

An Yuan's cheek lay on Shen Xingchun's chest, listening to the heavy heartbeat, he listened carefully for a while, then slowly called him brother, and said, "Brother, let's do it."

Shen Xingchun's chest was beating faster than An Yuan's, but he wanted to give An Yuan a memory tonight, the night was long, he was not in a hurry, he squeezed his fingers on An Yuan's waist hard.

An Yuan straightened up, impatiently took off Shen Xingchun's shirt, when she was about to take off his pants, Shen Xingchun grabbed his wrist.

"Brother Chun, what's wrong?" An Yuan asked.

"Take it off later..."

An Yuan let go, without the obstruction of the cloth on her upper body, An Yuan pressed against Shen Xingchun.

Shen Xingchun hugged him and deliberately moved to the side, Anyuan made a suppressed sound in his throat, feeling as if the spine on his back was held down by someone and would not let go, as if he was still being pressed non-stop.

After all, Shen Xingchun had tried An Yuan many times, he was familiar with An Yuan, and naturally knew An Yuan's fragility.

His palms covered An Yuan's lower back, An Yuan was very thin, Shen Xingchun could cover his entire lower back with two hands, and rubbed his fingertips on An Yuan's waist a few times.

In the past, when Shen Xingchun touched Anyuan with his hands, he always dared not use too much force, because there was a layer of calluses on the inside of the knuckles on the pads of his fingers, which was a callus he had since childhood.

When An Yuan was a child, his face was round and pink, so he couldn't help but want to pinch it when he saw it. When he pinched, An Yuan would complain that it hurt, and sometimes he would look away from him.

Later, after he was with An Yuan, he was always afraid of hurting An Yuan, but after a few times, he found that An Yuan's face was red and her lips were trembling.

He didn't feel pain, but liked it.

An Yuan likes to hold his hand. When she holds his hand, she will touch the calluses on his fingers, and sometimes she will gently rub them with her fingertips, or bite them lightly with the tips of her teeth.

Shen Xingchun lowered his head and kissed An Yuan's lips, An Yuan suppressed the cry in his throat, bit Shen Xingchun's shoulder and cried in a low voice, begging for mercy while crying.

"Brother, I can't..."

"Why not?"

"I can not hold it in……"

"I can't bear it, I can't bear it."

After Shen Xingchun finished speaking, he didn't care about the fingers on his arm.

In the past, when An Yuan cried, he would have nothing to do, but now he has no intention of letting him go easily.

Within a few seconds, An Yuan lay on Shen Xingchun's shoulder, with his eyes closed, he leaned limply against Shen Xingchun, tears from the corners of his eyes slid on Shen Xingchun's shoulders and chest.

"Brother, you deliberately bullied me." An Yuan said weakly.

"Who bullied whom? Obviously you bullied me." Shen Xingchun put his arms around An Yuan and hugged him beside him.

Shen Xingchun leaned against An Yuan's ear, put his dang on his earlobe, and called him softly: "Xiao Yuan'er..."

An Yuan knew what would happen next, it was something he had been looking forward to for a long time.

Shen Xingchun knelt beside An Yuan, and reached out his hand to turn on a small night light beside the bed.

As soon as the light was turned on, although the light was very dim, An Yuan still raised his hand to cover his eyes, but it didn't block the unnatural redness on his face.

Shen Xingchun took An Yuan's hand away, "Are you scared now?"

"Brother," An Yuan called him, shrank back, pulled the quilt next to her to cover her body, and asked, "Will it hurt?"

Shen Xingchun pressed An Yuan to prevent him from retreating, but An Yuan didn't move or hide this time, just waiting.

Shen Xingchun no longer thinks about popular science books and popular science films, he relies entirely on instinct, but he still has some sense, he doesn't want to hurt An Yuan.

He was afraid of An Yuan's pain, and he was also afraid of An Yuan's crying, but now he wanted him to be hurt once, and he didn't coax him even after crying.

When An Yuan couldn't help it, Shen Xingchun asked An Yuan: "You said before that I can call stop at any time, but with me, I don't allow you to call stop, not now, nor in the future, even if you are in pain, you cry in pain No, it's useless."

Shen Xingchun was very patient, bit by bit.

An Yuan grabbed Shen Xingchun's arm very hard, his fingers were hot and trembling.

After a long time, Shen Xingchun was sure that An Yuan would not be hurt.

An Yuan didn't want to cry, but the tears just flowed out uncontrollably. The satisfaction in his heart offset the pain a little bit, but he cried through the pillow and sheet.

Shen Xingchun couldn't bear it anymore, propped his arms and slowly wiped away his tears with his hands, the sweat from the tips of his hair dripped on An Yuan's face, mixed with An Yuan's tears when it fell.

Shen Xingchun asked him: "Have I left you a way out?"

An Yuan bit her lip and shook her head, crying, "No, Brother Chun, I don't want you to give me a way out, I want you."

Shen Xingchun asked ruthlessly again: "Can I regret it at any time, call stop at any time?"

When Shen Xingchun asked, An Yuan cried even harder, and whimpered and said, "Brother Chun, I don't want you to regret it, and I don't want you to stop..."