Fool's Love

What am I worrying about?

"I think so too. It's like the beginning of a series, and it's divided into two parts with completely different styles."

This reminds me of a work by my favorite cartoonist, "Have you watched Ishiguro's "The Great Demon Realm" recently?"

"Of course. Didn't Yamagishi recommend this work?"

"When?" I widened my eyes in surprise - I don't remember at all;

"During the first club activity. Do you remember? At that time, I said that I liked the works of Tsutomu Erbe and Shuzo Oshimi, and you recommended Masaki Ishiguro."

When Masumi said this, I slowly recalled that it seemed to be true.I'm so sorry, I almost completely forgot about it, and I haven't watched Erping Mian as of today.

Masumi seemed tired from sitting for too long, so he sighed first, then got up and stretched.

He was wearing a light, long-sleeved silk shirt with a huge flower with elongated petals embroidered on his shoulder——

It may be flowers, or it may be the fireworks at the moment of bursting, spreading from the shoulders to the chest.

He had tied his hair back together that day, and if someone who didn't know him saw him for the first time, he might mistake him for a young artist.

At this time, I noticed that Masumi's eyes were not as bright as usual, a little foggy, I couldn't help but glance down, and there were faint dark circles around the eyes.

"Did you not sleep well?"

"Huh? Is it so obvious?"

"It's obvious at a glance. You seem to be about to fall in the next second. It's rare to see you like this."

Masumi scratched her head embarrassingly.

"I can't help it. I drank some coffee during class yesterday, and I couldn't fall asleep at night. I just drew and watched the game while drawing. As a result, I became more and more awake, until midnight."

"Are you sleepy now?"

"Honestly—yes."

I stared at Masumi, and Masumi standing beside me was also looking down at me.

For a while we didn't speak.

"I think you should sleep for a while. Anyway, there is nothing urgent to do now. It's better to find a place to rest and refresh yourself."

Masumi nodded: "That's fine, to be honest, I'm too sleepy. If I'm in a strange environment now, maybe I can fall asleep with a pillow."

So he sat back on the sofa suddenly, leaned his head back, and closed his eyes against the back of the sofa. His posture made his neck hurt.I frowned, and called out his name again to make him stand up.

"No, it won't be comfortable to sleep like that—you'd better lie down."

"Huh? But the sofa is not long enough..."

"Then go to my room. I'll get you a new pillow."

At that time, I didn't have any extravagant thoughts, I just hoped that Masumi could have a good rest.

After hearing this, Masumi thanked me heartily.Then I went up to the second floor with him.

He took off his socks, lay flat on the bed, and closed his eyes.After nearly a minute, he opened his eyes and stared at me as if he suddenly thought of something.

"When I have time later, I should draw a portrait of you again."

"Painted as a ferret?"

"No, not a ferret anymore. I'll paint it like you. I'm not kidding."

Masumi said.His eyes blinked a bit, but his gaze was still on me.

"I am looking forward."

"You should have heard this before saying it—I'll draw you like Masaharu Fukuyama."

"You think I look like Masaharu Fukuyama?"

"Of course not, he is much, much more handsome than you."

"I think so."

Masumi didn't speak any more.He closed his eyes and fell asleep not long after.As a result, as he himself said, he was too tired and sleepy, and fell asleep quickly.I sat down at the desk and started to finish my homework for the weekend.

-

I unconsciously wanted to look behind me.

To put it bluntly, it's like there are some bugs crawling in my head-I start to feel restless.

This feels really bad.I looked at Masumi out of the corner of my eye, and he was indeed asleep.It must have been a good dream!He looked very calm.

——I wanted to look at Masumi's face a little bit, and got up from the chair in a strange manner.

I feel my heart beating faster.I know that I just want to see him, and I won't do anything out of the ordinary, but I do know that I am doing something that is terribly wrong.In normal times, I would definitely not dare to do this.

Masumi was lying flat in front of me, eyes closed, wearing a pair of white cotton socks on her feet, looking peaceful and quiet, like a machine that had run out of battery.

I didn't think about anything.Can't think of anything.I even felt that Masumi, who was sleeping soundly, was jolting as if in an earthquake. After a while, I realized that it was because I was too nervous and my whole body was shaking.

The sensitivity to temperature has also become dull, as if sealed in resin, actions and perceptions do not belong to me.

... This is a way of avoiding responsibility, and I, who claim to be rational, can still distinguish this point.

For a gambler, the more he blames himself for having no self-control, most of the time it means the deeper the person sinks.

Blame yourself, but—unrepentant.It's like killing people while silently reciting the names of gods and Buddhas. Right now, my hypocritical guilt seems to be only for something in the dark.But I swear I just wanted to see...

……

I just wanted to take a closer look at Masumi's face.What am I worrying about?

I started to calm down.Calmly, he stared at Masumi impartially with frozen eyes.

It seems that only at this time, even after ignoring a little morality, can I look at him like this intently.

For a moment, a sense of crisis emerged in my heart, as if a sharp knife hanging above my head suddenly fell.

I was looking at his collar cord—the shiny stone inlaid in it was the same red as usual, but of a different style.

I also found it by accident.He untied the collar rope before he fell asleep, and I didn't notice it by accident.

A brand new collar.The part of the rope is a smooth brown color, and the bottom is a silver pendant with something like a small pearl inlaid inside.

For a moment, a feeling suddenly strangled me: Masumi's face, Masumi's eyes, which I didn't pay attention to at the moment, seemed to open suddenly.

I turned my head sharply.His eyes were still shut.

"T-Masumi..."

I tried calling his name, one and a half times.As soon as the words fell, Masumi Masumi suddenly opened his eyes.

He looked at the ceiling dimly, in a trance, as if he was thinking about something.It took about a second before his eyes turned to me.

"Are you calling me?"

"I thought you were asleep."

"Yes, but I'm a light sleeper."

I looked at the time, and it was only four or ten minutes since Masumi fell asleep, so it's no wonder.

Masumi stood up slowly, my eyes followed his face.He was gradually coming out of his drunken state and was not confused about why I suddenly appeared here and called his name.

I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief in my heart - it seems that my thoughts were not noticed, it's really lucky.

I pinch the knuckles of my right hand with my left hand, and then switch them over.When I don't know how to face Masumi, I prefer not to look into his eyes, but listen to his voice and nod silently (in fact, I didn't hear what he was saying at all).

My eyes were fixed on the red gem hanging on his chest, and I never moved.