Fool's Love

Sometimes people make decisions that they regret later.

The date of the sports meeting is approaching.

My life hasn't changed much.Time simply passed by, that's all.

Running has replaced painting as my daily activity, which doesn't prevent me from being athletic—even though I'm practicing as hard as I can.

I think that I have a bit of talent in painting.But forcing running, which I am not good at, didn't make me feel refreshed at all, but I felt more frustrated.

I don't know if you have experienced this kind of thing?What do you want to achieve, but you are still obsessed with what you want to achieve——

But I couldn't do it, I just chased after it tiredly and blindly.Now that I think about it, when Masumi asked me why I ran, why did I say that I wanted to participate in the sports meeting?

That's something I can't do at all.Some people may question me with the idea of ​​"sports, even if you are not good at it, as long as you practice hard, you can do it well." Let me give you an example: when I was in the third grade of elementary school, my sister taught me to play table tennis.After one afternoon and the next morning, I barely had half the chance of hitting the tee shot.

If you ask me whether it is easier to hit a table tennis ball or a mosquito flying in the sky, my answer is the latter.

My rejection of sports seemed to intensify after that.Sweating, panting, and even difficulty breathing.

Just then I read a biography of a writer.He died of asthma, at a young age.

I was so intimidated that I began to value my "breathing" even though it's normal to get short of breath after exercise.I didn't know this at the time.

Forget it, don't think so much.I’ve been preparing for so long, and it’s okay to stick to the sports meeting. After that day, I won’t run so hard again—that’s what I imagined.

However, it may be precisely this negativity that exacerbates my anxiety.There is a big difference between finishing something with eager hope and the mentality of finishing it reluctantly.

Thinking about it now, I was indeed in a dream at that time, dizzy, and there was always a kind of anger stagnating in my chest that I didn't know where to vent it.

However, if during this period, a slight preference for sports is ignited in my heart, I don't think it will be like this.

The irony is that I originally started running because I felt that my dark otaku look did not match Masumi. During that time, my relationship with Masumi did not improve at all, but seemed to get worse.

The reason is not difficult to deduce: I was tired of preparing for the sports meeting, I didn't draw any more for a while, and I didn't think of any good ideas for the plot of some comics.

When Masumi was talking to me, I was often preoccupied with how to get good results in the sports meeting, and I sometimes ignored his words.

I became a little indifferent, and my thoughts were always wandering.A veritable "muscle brain"——

A few months ago, I would never have imagined that I would become like this one day.

Unlike me who actually signed up for long-distance running events, Masumi only participated in recreational class events at the sports meeting, so there was no pressure.

I am unavoidably a little irritable, although I consciously suppress it, this irritable will still appear from time to time: it seems that there is something pushing me behind my back, or I feel like I have eaten something unclean and I feel sick to my stomach, and my throat is full of nausea .

From this point of view, it is actually not so much irritable, as it is closer to a feeling of being chased by something weird—anxiety, it should be said.

It gradually took over my mind—just to occupy, these emotions can't be understood and can't be resolved, making people messy.

It's a horrible thing that makes you forgetful, forget things, and sometimes make decisions you'll regret later.

——I beat Masumi up.

The cause may be a word that Morita, the know-it-all, said by chance;

.It was a lunch break, and I sat in my seat in a daze.The weather has turned cold. Although the sun is warm outside the window, I still feel cold when I sit indoors where the sun does not shine.

Morita Takumi was still chatting with people he knew as usual - today his chatting partner was Yamazaki from the next class.

I have a little impression of this person, because he was a few places behind Masumi when the grades were announced in the previous grade.

It seems that it is different from me who came from a school that was not good enough. Yamazaki used to study in a middle school with a good quality of students near Yangdao. I didn't expect him to have an intersection with Morita.Or is Morita unexpectedly gifted in social aspects?

Morita kept rolling all kinds of gossip.Half of it is the gossip of a classmate or teacher in the school, and the other half is the rumor of some public figures.

It's not the first time I've seen him gossip, and I didn't pay much attention at first.

70.00% of what he said was unreliable, and I overheard it by the side, so it just went in one ear and out the other.

"Speaking of which, Senior Inoue from your school used to be preparing to take the entrance exam to the University of Tokyo, right?"

"How do you even know this kind of thing? It's too scary!"

"What's the matter? There are quite a few people in the school who have been promoted from the junior high school you attended. In other words, Inoue is also a famous person. I heard someone talk about this by chance before, but I have never met Inoue before."

"Inoue."——The moment I heard this surname, an impulse surged in my mind.

Emotions are a step ahead of thinking: first, there is a surge of mixed emotions—maybe it is shock, maybe it is anger that comes from nowhere, mixed together and mixed together into a pot of unpleasantness; Then, rationality began to reflect after a long time: maybe it wasn't the Inoue I saw before?There are many people with this surname.

"You can just follow the image of the student council president who gave a speech at the morning meeting. His appearance and temperament are similar to that person. He can be regarded as a person who echoes the stereotype of the student council president, but he looks more cheerful and looks much taller, haha .”

Yamazaki said while smiling.

"Why didn't he come to Yangdao to study later?"

"The family's business in Tokyo is getting more and more, so he went to Tokyo with his parents."

This is also in line with what Masumi said earlier.It sounds like this is probably the Inoue I saw before.

If my heart at that time was like a warehouse full of dust, this name that appeared at an inopportune time seemed to suddenly light up a small cluster of flames.

Lighted, then swelled in days of ash, and popped like glowing fireworks.

At the same time, I seemed to be in icy water, with heavy weights tied to my feet, and I fell quickly to a place where my whole body would be crushed and shattered.