Fool's Love

No matter how hard I tried to pretend nothing had happened, I couldn't deny it.

After my relationship with Masumi froze due to my momentary unhappiness, I always felt that something was missing in my life: enthusiasm.Thinking that it is only a little before the last time to the sports meeting, it is not worth giving up at the end of the goal, so I still continue to practice long-distance running;

Running is like driving a machine, or like completing a task-something I don't have the heart to do.

Sometimes I think of the conversation between Sasaki and me a few days ago.At that time, she saw that I, who could not walk my legs before class, actually started exercising, showing a completely surprised expression.

"What's going on? Yamagishi, are you Yamagishi? Isn't it some alien creature pretending to be Yamagishi?"

"It's too rude of you to say that..." I couldn't help frowning, "Is it to that extent?"

"I'm sorry." She also knew it.After I said this, the originally joking tone immediately returned to a serious state.

When I participated in the exhibition, I noticed that Sasaki's sixth sense is sometimes frighteningly effective, and even unfounded guesses can sometimes be right.

"But it's really weird. I mean, I didn't expect that one day you would do something you would never do before. Is it because of the person you said you liked?"

How did you think of it?Her sudden question really caught me off guard, and I didn't think of a way to deal with it for a while.

The moment of hesitation was taken as the default.Immediately afterwards, Sasaki opened his eyes wide again: "That's right? No way?"

——Even if you admit it, it’s not a big deal.I said to myself, nodding my head.

"I see. Looks like you do like that guy."

-

What is the use of recalling these conversations now?

The bond between me and Masumi has been broken.There doesn't seem to be a fix at this stage, albeit for a seemingly trivial reason.

I used to hate those scholars who tried to use all kinds of reasons to make it far-fetched after the black swan incident, but now I have become such a person: even I can't understand why I did it at that time, but if I don't find someone An excuse that can convince myself, there are always some voices spinning in my head.

It pops up out of the blue—at any slack.Most of the time it is Sasaki's sentence, because it is short enough and to the point.

—You really like that guy.

But what did I do?I smacked his face with my fist, shattering our relationship with it—

I didn't even apologize to him in the first place, yet another mistake.This is of course my problem.

I regret it, and no matter how hard I try to look nonchalant, I can't deny it.

Only the time of depression continued until the day of the sports meeting.

The weather was always gloomy during that time, but the sun was rarely seen that day, which was a good weather for outdoor activities.

When I cast my eyes from the classroom window, I saw that everything in front of me was coated with a layer of warm sun, like a layer of lonely golden snow.

I took off my school uniform and changed into a white short-sleeved sportswear with a long-sleeved jacket with my name written on it.

So still feel a bit cool.Probably because there is no sun here.Even without the wind blowing, the surrounding air seemed to freeze as if frozen.

"Yamagishi, cheers for the competition!"

When going downstairs, a voice suddenly came from behind.This made me tremble, and I stepped on the upper and lower steps with my two feet, and looked back to see Morita looking down at me with full of encouragement.Only then did I realize that it was his voice just now.

"Ah...thank you."

"Why are you so careless?"

"Maybe I was too nervous. It's no big deal, it should be..."

"Long-distance running?"

"Ah."

"I was participating in sprints. Obviously I'm a member of the track and field team—ah, I still can't do long-distance running. I can't hold on."

I didn't answer him, just stared down at my feet.We were walking down the stairs at the same pace, and he looked very excited, but I had no interest in talking to him.

After a while, seeing that I didn't show any special interest in what he said, Morita wisely stopped disturbing me.

I felt like some sort of machine—not exactly precise, rusty and constantly struggling.

I was running away from something - an elephant in the room with whom I was in the room and pretended like I had never seen it.

Of course I know what that is.Some sort of resentment against myself - after doing something wrong, I'll always try to distract myself with something to do, creating the illusion that nothing happened.

And when the surrounding noises faded away and the night fell, the image of the elephant began to become clear.

One night I had a dream.I dreamed of Masumi's face turned backwards.He stood on the ceiling, his eyes were like a cat in the night, looking at me with shining eyes.After that, I began to avoid meeting him more and more.

-

It would be a lie to say that you don't want to get a good ranking.However, there are too many capable people participating in long-distance running events with me, such as Aida Shunshin in the same grade——

He is a player in the track and field department, at the same level as me, and his running level has reached the level of a professional athlete;

In addition, there is Muto from the class next door. I saw him run by in the physical education class, and his speed was amazing.

I don't think the current me can beat these opponents.Since you can't win, take the first place as your strategy.

You must not run as hard as you did in the previous practice. Once you stall in the middle, it will be difficult to sprint to narrow the gap.

The correct approach is: preserve your strength, maintain your position in the middle and rear of the team, accelerate after passing the last corner, and compete in a straight line.As long as you don't run out of stamina, there is a chance of victory——

There was wind blowing in my ears, and I suddenly remembered that there seemed to be light rain yesterday.When I looked down, the runway under my feet was still wet.

A firing pistol—

The start went well.Grabbing a good position, not being blocked by others, running at a familiar pace-completely as expected.Keep going at this pace...

Just thinking about it, the man next to me suddenly quickened his pace and rushed out of the crowd in one breath.

After about ten meters away from everyone, someone also started to speed up.The first to catch up was Muto.Most of the people who followed also started to speed up.

— There is no room for hesitation.I adjusted my breathing, caught up, and returned to the previous position again.

Who is that man?I don't know him, maybe he's just a student who participated in the competition out of interest, the acceleration just now somewhat scared me——

Maybe it was on his whim, but in this way, everyone's rhythm also changed.

Fortunately, I adjusted in time and did not lose my dominant position.Form is back in my favour.