Don't be sad behind my back

——I hope Han Yi can be healthy and happy——

--39--

Wen Shan got off work and brought Han Yi home from the hospital.

"Cheng Xiao, thank you for spending a day with my family Han Yi, thank you for your hard work."

Cheng Xiao waved his hand: "It's okay, Auntie, you should."

Cheng Xiao winked at Han Yi while talking, as if to say: Taking care of his wife is what a husband should do.

"Auntie, I'm leaving first, my dad is here to pick me up."

"Hey! Go quickly, thank you, Cheng Xiao."

"You're welcome, goodbye, Auntie! Goodbye, Han Yi!"

The word "classmate" was particularly heavy, and Han Yi smiled deeply: "Goodbye, classmate Cheng Xiao."

After returning home, Han Yi went straight to the bedroom as usual.

Wen Shan followed and stopped him: "Han Yi, is it still difficult to breathe? Are your lungs still ringing?"

Han Yi said lightly, "No."

"The missed class today..."

"It can be made up."

Han Yi stood at the door of the bedroom, seeing that Wen Shan had nothing to ask, he closed the door.

The bedroom is deserted and dark, the window is gloomy dark blue, the faint blue light penetrates the glass, blurring the outline of the window, making the surroundings appear darker and more silent.

The window has become the only light source, attracting people to want to approach and plunge into it.

Han Yi covered his mouth with one hand, pressed his chest with the other and coughed a few times, his lungs hummed again, and he cried with each breath.

I'm afraid it really won't get better at all.

This body is also hypocritical, even if you have a fever, you have to find two problems to accompany it.

Han Yi had no choice but to smile wryly, and shook his head as if mocking himself.

He took out the medical certificate in his pocket and threw it aside casually. On it was written ghostly characters: bronchial asthma...lung noise...severe acute...

Han Yi changed his clothes and got into bed. The weakness after the high fever had not faded away, and sleepiness and exhaustion swept his body.

Early the next morning, Han Yi returned to school.

When walking, one foot is deep and the other is shallow, as if stepping on cotton, it is weak and unstable, and the calf is sore and weak, and it is difficult to exert strength all over the body.

Han Yi staggered and was supported by a strong arm.

Han Yi knew that it was Cheng Xiao without looking at the strong breath, and hung his whole body on Cheng Xiao.

Cheng Xiao led Han Yi into the school with a half hug and half hug.

"Can't you go to the morning training?"

"I'll go later, have you had breakfast yet?"

Han Yi shook his head, "No appetite."

Han Yi's stomach hurts right now, his stomach is churning with acid, and his chest feels uncomfortable.

Cheng Xiao nodded, as if he didn't hear, took out a box from his bag, opened it and smelled the aroma.

Fried eggs sprinkled with sesame seeds, transparent crystal shrimp dumplings, toast with ham and lettuce sandwiched, the toast is fried after the corners are removed and full of milk, fluffy and soft, with salad dressing on top, and a bottle of Homemade rock sugar pears, a box of cut fruits.

Cheng Xiao put the things in front of Han Yi, "It's either that I don't have an appetite, or I don't care about it." As he said that, he flicked Han Yi's forehead.

Han Yi had to admit that the moment he smelled the fragrance, he realized that he was actually so hungry that his stomach hurt.

"You can fool yourself, but you can't fool me. If you don't eat breakfast and take medicine for a while, you will feel uncomfortable. Have you brought all the medicine?"

Han Yi nodded: "I have."

Cheng Xiao sighed silently when he saw a bunch of scattered medicine boxes and a bottle of cough syrup in Han Yi's bag.

He hasn't been in the mood since morning.

It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, I don't care about myself at all, I don't think it's a big deal if I can't die.

"What's wrong?" Han Yi watched Cheng Xiao staring at his bag in a daze.

"Bao'er, you care so much about whether you are healthy or not. Taking so many medicines on an empty stomach will hurt your stomach."

"I don't care about you, you just make do with it."

Han Yi was silent.

If it weren't for Cheng Xiao, everyone would have thought that Han Yi really had no appetite and would not eat, and would have been fooled by his protective shell.

How many times he had taken those stimulating drugs on an empty stomach, and even swallowed them raw many times because there was no water.

Of course it will be uncomfortable afterwards, it’s just uncomfortable, and it’s not that I can’t bear it, it’s over after a little patience, and I just make do with it and grow up.

Over time, I got used to not taking myself seriously.

Make do with it, make do with it, it's okay, it doesn't matter... Han Yi almost grew up with them.

Not being supervised or cared about before, this is something he expects and fears, a casual greeting will become an unbearable psychological pressure for Han Yi, he will be timid, guilty, panic, it is unbearable weight, He chooses not to.

I had already licked the wound clean, hid it, couldn't see it, and forgot it, as if I hadn't experienced the pain.

As long as he escapes fast enough, closes his eyes and doesn't face it, he has never been hurt or suffered, and those pains will not catch up to him.

Fortunately, Han Yi really forgot a lot, and did not entangle Han Yi's feet in the past.

But Han Yi ran too fast, he would fall, get hurt, and lose a lot of things, but he quickly got up again, and gradually, he was riddled with holes.

He seems to be floating on the sea, floating in the sky, without a trace.

Like a maple leaf in the cold wind in late autumn, it is driven to fly forward before leaving any footprints.

Cheng Xiao was one of the few who felt sad, and every time it made Han Yi's heart ache.

He realizes that his instincts and habits always inadvertently hurt those who want to love and take care of him.

This is so unfair to Cheng Xiao...

Cheng Xiao shouldn't have endured this...

Blame yourself.

The difficult thing is not to find a way to take care of yourself, but to overcome your instinct and consciousness.

But the rubber band has been stretched for a long time, loosened, and collapsed. Can it be changed back?

Cheng Xiao understood that Han Yi was just used to it and didn't realize it.

"Bao'er, take more, take the medicine in half an hour, it will make you feel better, I have to go to training."

Cheng Xiao rubbed Han Yi's head reluctantly, and pressed a light kiss on his forehead.

"Cheng Xiao... I was wrong..."

"Little fool, why don't you just apologize, I don't want..." Cheng Xiao chuckled, "I just feel sorry for you, if you can't take care of yourself, then I will take care of you, so please be obedient, okay?"

"it is good……"

"I'm obedient...don't be unhappy..."

"How can you be obedient?"

"Eat breakfast...you can't take medicine on an empty stomach..."

Cheng Xiao shook his head: "Bao'er, you don't have to think about this."

"Where do you feel uncomfortable in the future, stomachache, headache, cough, difficulty breathing, or, cold or hot, thirsty and hungry, want to sleep, these, let me know."

Han Yi didn't understand: "?"

Cheng Xiao suddenly felt annoyed that he was stupid, and what he thought was that he couldn't understand, so he sighed.

"Just...don't hold back, just let me know. Your face was so pale this morning that you must have suffered from a stomachache. If I was fooled by you, would you just endure it like this?"

"I……"

"I know you didn't do it on purpose, so... just get used to it... Habits are hard to change... Instinctive reactions are hard to restrain..."

I don't even realize it myself...

This night, Cheng Xiao was extraordinarily fierce and rude, her deep kiss was full of heartache, sadness, and regret...

Even if the bodies hugged each other and entered Han Yi's body, they couldn't get into his heart and pull out the real Han Yi, not to mention that the door was closed to Han Yi himself.

Behind that dusty door is Han Yi's past.

It's a dark void where you can't see your fingers. Fear and nightmares are everywhere, and the claws that erode people's hearts dance wildly...

In the chaos, of course, there is Han Yi's true self, otherwise Han Yi would never be able to get rid of the fear brought about by the nightmare, and would always be a crippled person.

Han Yi has been sleeping restlessly for several days, always clutching the clothes on Cheng Xiao's chest tightly, and whispering from time to time.

I don't know how many times Cheng Xiao sighed. Han Yi often sighed like this since the beginning of this semester. He studied intensively during the day, and his physical defects and root causes in his early years made him very weak now. His previous asthma and bronchitis had recurred. Although Goodbye, but never recovered.

In the environment of No. [-] Middle School, it takes half a month for ordinary people to recover from a minor cold, and even a month to have a stuffy and runny nose.

With high-intensity study and pressure, frequent exams, strict time management, and insufficient sleep time, students have almost no chance to breathe.

But now the school leaders have gone crazy, extending the end of school hours to [-]pm on Saturdays, and students have to gather in the classroom at [-]am on Sundays to start self-study.

Cheng Xiao pulled Han Yi closer, let him lean against her shoulder, and kissed him again, which could be a little comforting.

Han Yi wrapped around Cheng Xiao's body all night, like a child afraid of the dark hiding in an adult's arms.

The weather was getting colder and colder, and Han Yi's illness became more severe during the autumn and winter seasons. Han Yi was lying on the table, coughing and breaking out in cold sweat.

Cheng Xiao frowned and patted Han Yi's back lightly. The protruding shoulder blades and spine made the patient look haggard and weak.

Han Yi straightened up and took a hard breath.His eyes were red and bloodshot, with tears in his eyes, his eye sockets were red, and his pale face was soon covered with blood, his cheeks were sunken, and his lips were white and chapped.

Cheng Xiao's heart was bleeding: "Bao'er, let's go to the hospital to see if it's okay..."

Han Yi's voice was hoarse and weak, as if he was holding his last breath: "It's okay... change the season... just... this way... pass, a few days... it will be fine..."

Then he hooked the corners of his mouth and smiled weakly, trying to comfort Cheng Xiao.

If he was a normal person, Cheng Xiao wouldn't be anxious and sad for nothing...

I'm sorry...for making you anxious...for making you unhappy...

sorry……

On this day, five or six teammates Yang Tian, ​​Zhang Sizhe, Hu Yue, Jiang Xinli, and Cheng Xiao's friends, the high jumper Xue Xiaofei, Chen Ze, Liu Yulin, and Zhang Ming who played basketball, learned that Han Yi was seriously ill. Several people came to visit after every class, and Yang Tian and the others brought over all the looted lozenges and cough medicines, as well as a scarf, a knitted hat, and a dozen medical masks.

A few of Cheng Xiao's sports student friends are more capable, and one of them directly carried a thermos bucket, which contained Chuanbei stewed Sydney, white fungus and red date soup, and honey yam.

Cheng Xiao took it over, thanked him, and found it incredible that this group of old men could do these things, and they still look good.

"My daughter-in-law is a commuter, and she leaves school earlier than us. She brings me midnight snacks every now and then. I told her that my sister-in-law is sick, so she delivered these."

"Thank you, I will pay you back tomorrow."

"Hey, why are you being polite..." The boy who was about the same height as Cheng Xiao said disgustedly: "Let's go, watch my sister-in-law carefully."

Cheng Xiao laughed, "Okay."

Perhaps because of the warmth everyone sent yesterday, Han Yi slept soundly that night, almost no lung sounds when breathing, and his cough has obviously improved.

Cheng Xiao was busy, his mind was full of Han Yi, and when he was in school, he had no idea what day it was, and even forgot his birthday when it came.

Han Yi secretly ordered a cake, then secretly took it back against the cold wind, and hid it in Yang Tian.

Going back to the dormitory at night, Han Yi troubled Yang Tian to take the cake first. After returning to the dormitory with Cheng Xiao, Han Yi ran to Yang Tian to get the cake while Cheng Xiao was away.

After Cheng Xiao finished washing, he saw that the bedroom lights were off, and was wondering, when he opened the door, he saw a candle.

Under the faint warm light, a beautiful boy is holding a cake and smiling.

"Happy birthday, Cheng Xiao."

"I'm 17 years old, I'll be safe and happy in the future."

The boy smiled very softly, very happy, and also very tired, that is haggard after suffering from illness.

Cheng Xiao's nose became sour, and a flame in the shape of a water drop wobbled, illuminating the faces of the two of them back and forth.

One is thin and haggard that cannot be concealed under the soft light, and the other is pursed, with red eyes so clear that one can see the reflection of the flickering candlelight.

Han Yi smiled, and looked down at the candle.

"Don't just stand there, make a wish."

Cheng Xiao came back to his senses, stared straight at the candle, and murmured: "I hope..."

"Idiot, it won't work if you say it."

Cheng Xiao didn't seem to hear it, his mind was united and devout, he looked like a loyal believer praying in church.

He crossed his fingers on his lower lip, and his eyes fell on the light. His bright eyes were full of enthusiasm and anticipation, and he poured all his sincerity into it.

"I hope Han Yi can be healthy and happy."

Han Yi choked up.

Immediately there was a "huh", and the candle went out.

As if afraid that God would repent and not fulfill his wish because he had read it out, he hurriedly blew out the candle and assumed that God had agreed, before he could react to his shamelessness.

The cake was still intact, and in front of the "17" candle on it were two boys standing next to each other. They were wearing school uniforms, holding hands, and walking in the blooming cream world.