Don't be sad behind my back

--coincide--

The second half was full of fighting.

It is indeed a team that can enter the finals, evenly matched.

Everyone was visibly exhausted, except Cheng Xiao, who seemed to have been beaten to death.

But obviously, Cheng Xiao is slightly better here.

The game ended with a ten-point lead.

That night, they went out to celebrate.

Cheng Xiao racked his brains to take Han Yi with him, but finally Han Yi compromised, saying hello to Sister He and going to the store later.

The more Cheng Xiao cares about someone, the more he wants people to enter his life.

Entering the hot pot restaurant, this group of young people directly arranged a spicy hot pot.

Cheng Xiao snatched the order sheet, swiped it twice and changed it to a four-square grid, two of which were tomato and water.

"Han Yi has a bad stomach, he can't eat too spicy."

The buddies were taken aback for a moment, then nodded quickly.

"Hey, I'm stupid, we just have slow brains, why don't you ask people what their taboos are?"

"Does Xiao Han have any taboos?"

Han Yi received the concerned attention of a group of people unexpectedly, and lowered his head in embarrassment.

"No, no more, you order."

"Come on, come on."

"It's really okay..."

"give it to me."

Cheng Xiao took the tablet, turned around and asked, "Or lemon tea?"

"Ah."

"There are golden steamed buns, you like them."

"Um……"

"I don't eat mutton, but I want small pieces of beef. Fat beef rolls are fine. I don't like duck blood and duck intestines. I like to eat more shrimp slippery. Hairy belly is fine..."

"Small crispy meat...you ate two bites last time, so forget it."

"There's fried yogurt, it's sweet, you should like it."

other people:"……"

"Cheng Xiao and Han Yi have such a good relationship...they understand tastes so clearly..."

"Students from high school, if we stay together every day, we must understand."

"Why do I feel...the relationship between these two people is unusual..."

"Hey, do you remember that Cheng Xiao has a photo frame, which is a photo of him and his high school classmates, and the one with a small sunflower on the side."

"Remember, Cheng Xiao just stares in a daze when nothing happens."

"I feel that the person inside is Han Yi."

"Fuck?"

Cheng Xiao: "Okay, the rest of you will come."

Cheng Xiao felt for a moment that the sons on the opposite side looked at him with complicated eyes.

The sons wanted to have a good hot pot meal, after all, Cheng Xiao was treating guests, but they tasted like dog food.

"Eat this eat this."

"You don't have to do it, I'll do it."

"Is there enough sauce, I'll make another one for you?"

"Try it, please, this is really delicious."

"Want a Coke? I'll buy it for you."

Han Yi looked at the pile of food in front of him, and there were two shrimps rolling down beside him. He took away a small fork, took a fork, and hit Cheng Xiao's mouth when Cheng Xiao turned his head.

"It's really enough, I can't eat any more."

Cheng Xiao seemed overwhelmed by the flattery, took away the shrimp slippery and then he was honestly not busy, as if he had a candy in his mouth, he was happy and sweet, like a big dog wagging its tail happily.

"Okay, okay, you eat first, and tell me what you want to eat."

opposite:"……"

Han Yi ate silently, even chewing lightly and slowly. He wasn't thinking about eating, but was listening to Cheng Xiao and the others chatting.

The people around him are no longer the kid who was a few years ago. He took off his school uniform and left half of his youth.

"It's rare to see you so talkative. I didn't see you so happy when you won the basketball game last time."

"Xiao'er, you were too aloof before, how nice it is to be joking like you are now!"

"Tell me honestly, have you been hiding any happy events these two days? You can't even hide the happiness on your face."

Cheng Xiao waved his hand, seeming to avoid it: "No, no, don't talk nonsense, can you be unhappy if you win?"

Han Yi heard it, and felt that Cheng Xiao was just happy that he won the game.

After eating, Han Yi thought about running away again.

Although Cheng Xiao turned his head to look at Han Yi every time he said two sentences, the three sentences were inseparable from Han Yi, and he always wanted to draw Han Yi in.

But Han Yi didn't go to college, he didn't know Cheng Xiao's circle at all, and Cheng Xiao's life was also unknown, like an outsider, he just wanted to escape and retreat.

"I'm going back..." Cheng Xiao was full of disappointment.

"Well... let's play."

"Just stay for a while, okay..."

Han Yi was a little shaken by Cheng Xiao's aggrieved look.

"Still not."

Cheng Xiao still wanted to stay, but felt that it was inappropriate. What is the relationship between the two now?

friend?I don't know if it counts.Although the other party tried their best to maintain normal communication, no matter how good the disguise was, the other party could still see through it at a glance. They were all deceiving themselves and others. It was just because of affection, politeness and respect that they didn't make it clear.

In fact, it has been rotten for a long time. Even if you don't say it, the other party can feel the bitterness and sourness in it.

"Okay then... shall I take you to the car dealership?"

"Well, thank you."

Cheng Xiao watched the headlights disappear into the busy traffic before turning around and leaving.

"Han Yi isn't with us?"

"Well, he has something to do tonight."

"What's the matter, Xiao'er?"

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, it just feels like you're not very happy."

"I'm fine, let's go."

In the KTV, Cheng Xiao was sitting in the corner, listening to the hoarse voices of his brothers crying and howling.

He drooped his head, feeling dizzy and heavy, whether it was the effect of alcohol or someone else.

Once you see it, you will never forget it.

Cheng Xiao took out his phone and opened the hidden album.

His obsession was sealed inside, since they separated, he wanted to delete it but was reluctant, so he hid it.

He couldn't see it, and as long as he saw it, he would miss it crazily, and he was experiencing the pain of drug addiction attack every second.

There were more and more wine bottles on the table, and one was poured on the sofa.

"Just the two of us awake, how can we get these drunks back?"

"Get someone to help."

"I can see it."

The two boys walked over and patted Cheng Xiao.

"Xiao'er? Are you drunk too?!"

"Aren't you a non-drinker?!"

"Let's go, let me help you up."

Cheng Xiao raised his head reluctantly and glanced at the two people in front of him.

"I...I don't want you...I want...Han...Yi..."

No matter how much the boy dragged him to pick him up, he couldn't get up, and he kept talking about Han Yi indistinctly.

Boy: "..."

"Okay, let's call Han Yi."

Han Yi changed in the locker room of the bar and was about to leave work. When a phone call came, he ran out without saying a word.

Entering the private room, two boys guarded Cheng Xiao, one on the left and one on the right, while the others were taken away one after another.

"Han Yi, I'm sorry to trouble you, but... Cheng Xiao won't leave..." The boy scratched his head in embarrassment: "I've been thinking about you...I insist on you coming..."

Han Yi: "It's okay...don't bother, I'll take him back."

The other boy was obviously more sensible, he dragged him and ran away: "Han Yi, I will trouble you."

Half of Cheng Xiao's body was lying on the sofa, dizzy from drunk.

Sensing someone approaching, the man reached out and stroked his hair.

Cheng Xiao raised his head abruptly, and clenched the man's wrist tightly.

"It's you……"

Before Han Yi could speak, Cheng Xiao lay back on his stomach again, and put that hand on his hair.

"You touch..."

Han Yi hesitated for a moment, then stroked along the fur.

"I will send you back."

Cheng Xiao shook his head sullenly.

"In no mood……"

"I'm going back...you're leaving again..."

Han Yi's nose soured.

"Be obedient, don't fall asleep here, go back to the dormitory."

"No...I want to go home..."

"Family?"

"Um……"

"Okay, let's go home."

Cheng Xiao got up, his eyes couldn't hide the joy.

"Can you come home with me?"

"Yes you can."

"Okay, let's go home now."

The home Cheng Xiao mentioned was the house his parents rented for him, which was near the school.

Han Yi greeted Cheng Xiao's roommate and sent Cheng Xiao to that room.

This is a duplex, the main theme is gray and black, the dining room kitchen is clean and tidy, and it looks like it is basically not used. There are a few pillows lying on the sofa, and there is a large French window connected to the ceiling next to it.

Han Yi carried Cheng Xiao to the second floor.

There is no door on the second floor, and there is a big bed when you come up. It is also gray and black, but with more wooden elements, it looks a little less cold.

Han Yi put Cheng Xiao on the bed and lay down, glanced at the wall next to him from the corner of his eye, and couldn't look away.

He approached step by step.

There is a big blue photo frame hanging on the wall, only the border and the wooden board behind it, and many lines are drawn on the wooden board from left to right.

There are a lot of photos hanging on the line with small clips, and there are some pictures on the side with thumbtacks.

Those photos are very familiar to me, even I am the protagonist in it.

This wall is the whole of my high school.

It's also everything to Cheng Xiao.

Han Yi stretched out his hand and touched the photo lightly. The corners of the photo were already twisted, which could be seen from the frequent rubbing in his hand.

Behind him was a thick damp breath mixed with the intoxicating aroma of alcohol.

Han Yi didn't resist, Cheng Xiao hugged him tightly in his arms.

Cheng Xiao's head was buried on the back of Han Yi's neck, his forehead rubbed against his skin, and the tip of his nose absorbed the breath that once fascinated and made him crazy.

"Why did you leave like this..."

"How did you walk so fast..."

"It disappeared all of a sudden..."

"I can't catch at all..."

Cheng Xiao talked to himself, as if he didn't know Han Yi's existence, or couldn't believe Han Yi's existence, but just hugged an object with Han Yi's aura.

This was enough for him to take off all his disguise and allow himself to be swallowed up by his extreme yearning.

Han Yi put his hand on Cheng Xiao's, and comforted him with sobs: "Lie down for a while, I'm here."

Cheng Xiao shook his head.

Han Yi touched his head again: "Be obedient."

"Um……"

But Cheng Xiao still didn't let go.

"Accompany me..."

"Okay, I'll accompany you."

Beside the bed, Cheng Xiao turned around and pressed Han Yi under him.

He covered Han Yi with his body, lowered his body, buried his head in Han Yi's neck, and did not speak for a long time.

Han Yi called softly, "Cheng Xiao?"

no response……

"Cheng Xiao?"

No response yet.

"Procedure……"

The person on the body finally moved, accompanied by a light and thin whimper, seemingly absent.

Han Yi's collarbone seemed to be wet, and his body trembled more and more.

Han Yi: "What's wrong?! Cheng Xiao?!"

"Woo...why do you divide as you say...you leave as you say..."

Han Yi was stunned.

Cheng Xiao was wronged, sad, and crying.

"Then...you disappeared..."

"I thought you...so casually, you can get rid of me..."

"When you left...it was cold and absolutely..."

"I want to keep you...but why...follow the wind...go so fast...without a trace...I want to go find...I don't know where to find you..."

"I want to bring back the happy Han Yi...not the one on the hospital bed...that's not Han Yi...his face is not so thin...his skin is pure white...not gray...he Can run and jump...no leg hurt or broken...he can laugh...he can't cry..."

"How did Han Yi become like that...If I had kept him...wouldn't all of this have happened...Blame me...Han Yi could have lived a good life...Blame me..."

Cheng Xiao wept uncontrollably, without anger or complaints, only self-blame and heartache.

Tears soaked the collar and slid down the side of the neck.

Han Yi didn't say a word, holding back the pain in his chest.

Two kinds of tears blended and wet the sheets.

There was a crying sound that was trying to be suppressed but couldn't hold back, trembling, aggrieved and cautious.

"I'm sorry... don't blame you... blame me... it's my problem..."

Han Yi also choked up, unable to hold back his crying.

If it weren't for Cheng Xiao, Han Yi might have given up early on. Cheng Xiao's existence made him feel that he might be saved.

He is sensitive and alert, and can sense changes immediately.He noticed his psychological problems very early, but he just covered it up. He told himself that it didn't matter, just bear with it and get used to it.

Other children will go to their parents if they are a little uncomfortable, but Han Yi can't, he is not sensible, he dare not.

Until Cheng Xiao broke into his world and broke through the old door, he really thought he was saved when he saw the light.

But the shadow was always with him, the closer he got, the darker the shadow became.

So, he broke everything with his own hands.

He knew that he might be saved, but it would become a drag, let alone Cheng Xiao.

"I...I don't want to..."

Cheng Xiao interrupted him: "I know...you don't want to drag me down..."

"But I... will also bring you pressure..."

"It's because I didn't do well enough...that made you worry...that made you unable to truly be yourself..."

"I didn't protect you well..."

"Blame me...I'm too selfish...I'm going to bother you just because I like you...I made you live so hard...I'm sorry..."

Cheng Xiao propped herself up, her eyes were already red and swollen from crying, her eye sockets were moist, and there were a few tears gushing out, which were tears of affection and reluctance.

He was already somewhat incoherent, pouring out all the things he had kept in his heart for these years.

"You're not a drag...I'm afraid you don't dare to bother me...don't dare to rely on me wholeheartedly..."

"You always don't mean what you say... You hide your sadness and illness from me..."

"It's not a burden...you are not a burden, I like you so much, I wish I could get sick for you..."

"Don't run away, okay... trust me, okay... and trust yourself, okay..."

"Don't always be alone...don't be sad behind my back...I want to be with you for the first time...hug you..."

"Just call me... and I'll be..."

Han Yi didn't dare to look into those eyes, as long as he saw them, his heart ached and he turned his head away.

He still likes Cheng Xiao, those eyes look at him more and more worried and ashamed.

It was him who broke up without warning, but Cheng Xiao didn't blame or resent, but told him over and over again that he loved him and that he was willing to be with him.

Cheng Xiao just looked down at Han Yi's profile.

After a long time, Cheng Xiao closed his eyes, and gently left Han Yi's ear with one hand.

When the other hand was about to leave, Han Yi turned his head.

Memories enveloped the whole body, and the scenes in front of them overlapped.

There was still a tear on Cheng Xiao's face, and when his body moved, that tear happened to fall on Han Yi's cheek.

It seems to be able to penetrate the skin and hit the heart heavily.

Han Yi was also crying, but his eyes were so gentle and there was a smile on his mouth.

Han Yi didn't speak, wrapped his arms around Cheng Xiao's neck, got up and kissed him.