flood

Regret, but always found out when it was too late.

He used to be so proud of her and suffered so much humiliation because of her. After all these years, he can't look her directly in the eyes. He loves her, but wants to escape from her even more.

But he never realized that when she really left him, in this world, there would be no one who loved him anymore.

In this world, the only person who loved him was gone.

10.1

Li Xiao hugged him, patted his back comfortingly, and said: "You lost your loved one, you feel pain, you don't want to accept that your loved one left you because of such a ridiculous accident, so you put all the responsibility on yourself But it's not your fault, the accident is beyond your control, you don't want grandma to leave, but you don't have to feel guilty for it. "

"You feel that you haven't done well enough, thinking that if you did what you did at the beginning, you can avoid this result. But Shi Yu, your grandma is old, you have to accept this fact. When a loved one passes away, you should be sad and painful, but Don't let yourself sink in, get out."

The words were so calm that there was almost a kind of indifference.Li Xiao is like this, he can always analyze rationally, keep his emotions out of the way, and not let his emotions be disturbed.

Shi Yu seems to have listened, but also seems not to.But he did stop crying a little bit, tears hung on his eyelashes, and Li Xiao's face was reflected blankly in his eyes.

Li Xiao held his face, sucked off the tears from his eyelashes, and said, "If you can't get out by yourself, I'll help you."

Shi Yu was blowing the wind in the middle of the night on the balcony, and his hands and feet were so stiff that he couldn't stand up.

Li Xiao frowned again, and said, "With so much wind blowing, you have to make yourself sick to be satisfied, right?"

After finishing speaking, without waiting for Shi Yu's reaction, he simply hugged him horizontally, put him back on the bed, then got into bed himself, and stuffed the other person's hands and feet that were frozen unconscious into his chest and legs.

Li Xiao covered such a big lump of ice, shivered several times, but still muttered commandingly: "Don't catch a cold tomorrow."

Shi Yu was hugged tightly by him, and his mind was still in chaos. He passively pressed close to the other party, and his breath was full of the other party's breath. This warm and familiar smell made him feel safe, and his nerves that had been tense for days were relieved for a moment. Relaxation, fatigue and sleepiness seem to have finally found it.

He fell into a long lethargy.

In the dream, he saw his grandma, who was younger than he remembered, sweeping fallen leaves by the side of the road.

He saw it, but he was flustered for some reason, as if he was afraid that grandma would see him. He was about to turn around and walk in another direction, but his wrist was caught. He turned his head and found that there was another person beside him.

But the daylight was so bright that he couldn't see the man clearly.

"What's wrong with you, walking back suddenly?" The man was asking him, and his voice was familiar.

But for some reason, Shi Yu became more nervous. He seemed to have done something bad, showing a guilty look that he was afraid of being caught, and he said in a low voice, "I remembered that there is still a book in the classroom, I'll go back and get it." ..."

He clearly couldn't see that person's face clearly, but Shi Yu intuitively felt that the other person frowned.

"Why are you so troublesome..." The man muttered unhappily, but turned around with him, ready to go back.

Before Shi Yu breathed a sigh of relief, he suddenly heard a piercing sound, he turned his head abruptly, and saw grandma lying motionless by the side of the road.

Grandma stared at him with those cloudy eyes and said to him, "Are you leaving me too?"

He took a step back suddenly, his wrist slipped out of the hands of the people around him, and he said as if to defend: "No... I didn't..."

At this moment, the roar of the plane rang from the ears.

Shi Yu's face was pale, but he heard grandma questioning him in that hoarse voice: "Are you going to abandon me and go find him?"

Li Xiao's order didn't work, probably because he didn't sleep much for a few days, his mental state was not good, and the wind blew all night, Shi Yu had a high fever the next day, his whole body was in a daze, unconscious, and still Talking nonsense.

Li Xiao stayed by his bedside for a whole day, and when it was almost sunset in the afternoon, Shi Yu became a little more awake, drank some porridge, and took medicine.

Li Xiao could no longer lose his temper, so he tucked up his quilt with a stern face, and warned him not to move any more, and went out to buy some fresh meat and vegetables by himself—in order to take care of the sick, he even started to wash his hands and make soup.

In the end, when Li Xiao came back with big bags and small bags, looking like a family cook, good guy, Shi Yu disappeared.

Shi Yu went home for a trip.The originally cramped and narrow space seemed empty because of the lack of living people, and the whole room seemed to emit a chill from the inside out.

Shi Yu still had a fever, and his body fluctuated from cold to hot. He shivered and went straight into the room without changing his shoes.

He searched the drawers of the house one by one. Grandma died suddenly, and many belongings were not sorted out. He didn't know where grandma put the things and whether he could find them.

He was still dizzy, and the high fever made his brain swell up and down, as if a bucket of water was shaking in it.Often this drawer is turned over, then turned around and forgotten, and turned over again.

I don’t know how many times he flipped through it. In the bottom drawer of grandma’s sewing box, he saw what he was looking for. It was right in front of his eyes, but for some reason, he missed it many times before he saw it. it.

It was an expired international ticket.

When he was in the third year of high school, he thought that he would have a chance to find Li Xiao.

Without telling his grandmother, he secretly reported the name of the international project, passed the materials and interviews, and was about to prepare a passport and visa.

But in the end, of course, the teacher notified his grandma, and they knew each other that Shi Yu forged his parents' signatures and did so many things.

Grandma disagreed with him going abroad, so Shi Yu's quota was cancelled, and another student replaced him.

Shi Yu refused to give up and went to find the teacher in charge at the time. The teacher satirized him contemptuously: "Your grandma is self-aware and knows that she can't afford you to study abroad. Why do you have to be so vain and insist on going abroad?"

Shi Yu beat up the teacher, and never mentioned the matter of going abroad after that, and the abandoned ticket was also missing.

Holding the ticket in hand, Shi Yu returned to Li Xiao's house dizzily.

Li Xiao was about to go out to find someone, but when he saw him coming back, his face turned blue: "Where did you go again? You ignored my words, didn't you?"

Shi Yu didn't hear his words clearly, his feet went weak, and he fell into Li Xiao's arms.

He said, "...I'm here to find you."

The ticket has not expired, so I finally came to you.

Grandma doesn't want me anymore, I only have you.

In the dream, he seemed to hear grandma's disappointed and helpless sigh.

After Shi Yu suffered such a serious illness, he seemed to have finally admitted the fact that his grandma had passed away. He would no longer get up in the middle of the night, and even if he couldn't sleep well, he would lie on the bed stiffly and keep his eyes open until dawn.

The long vacation I took before has also expired, and life will not give people extra time to be sad. Shi Yu went back to work, leaving early and returning late, like a spinning top that was beaten, spinning in a dazed and tired way.

It's just that from going home after get off work in the past, to going back to Li Xiao's home after get off work now.

After this great change, Li Xiao was worried about letting Shi Yu live alone, and the showdown plan he had expected was put on hold. He took Shi Yu into his apartment, and even took the initiative to go to Shi Yu's house to pack his simple luggage , The two are truly living together.

Once Shi Yu suffers from insomnia and has nightmares at night, Li Xiao will wrap him in his arms and gently coax him in a low voice. It becomes the only warm thing in Shi Yu's cold and heavy memory. A safe haven for sleepless nights.

The shadow of the death of a loved one is too heavy, and people are naturally good at seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages, and are more inclined to avoid reality. Shi Yu almost grabbed Li Xiao at straws, and let himself sink into the other's tender love , refused to let go, refused to wake up - Shi Yu became even clingier than before.

As long as the two of them are together, when Li Xiao is watching TV on the sofa in the living room, Shi Yu will go up and rest his head on Li Xiao's lap; when Li Xiao goes to the kitchen, Shi Yu will follow closely behind his feet and help him carry Even when Li Xiao went to the toilet, Shi Yu would squat helplessly at the door waiting for him, and as soon as Li Xiao came out, he would pounce on him and hug him.

And as long as he doesn't see Li Xiao for a moment, Shi Yu will be at a loss and feel flustered.

It was better when he was at work. When he was overwhelmed by a lot of work, Shi Yu could still forget for a while, but once he was free, Shi Yu couldn't help it, as if he wanted to confirm the existence of the other party, he sent Li Xiao over and over again. information.And once Shi Yu comes home from get off work first, if Li Xiao hasn't come back yet, Shi Yu will be fidgeting, walking back and forth in the living room and bedroom, and when Li Xiao arrives home soon, he will even wait for him at the door or on the balcony .

Like a little milk cat who lacks a sense of security and always sticks to people.

Li Xiao was a little resistant and impatient with such an overly clingy and intimate state, but considering that Shi Yu's grandma, who had depended on each other for life, had just passed away, she was more fragile mentally and more dependent on others, so she held back her emotions and patiently responded to Shi Yu's words. information.And once I saw Shi Yu himself, seeing his face full of panic and fear of being abandoned, that impatience faded even more, and his heart was always softer, and even his body preceded his consciousness, trying to He hugged him in his arms, comforting him with kisses and coaxing.

It's just that even so, there will always be times when Li Xiao can't accompany him. His studio was established not long ago, and Li Xiao