What Do I Want to Do with This Magnificent Beauty?

Except for the party concerned and the child's family, everyone else was laughing like crazy for a full 3 minutes.

The female guest wiped her tears and asked, "No, baby, what do you think that brother does?"

No matter what, the child should know that he guessed wrong again. He threw himself into his mother's arms and said coyly, "I don't know."

The child's mother was also at a loss. She obviously didn't know Qishejiang. Qishejiang hadn't debuted for a long time. She said in a daze, "It should be an idol, right? Didn't you say that there is an idol among the stars?"

"..." The female guest couldn't laugh this time, the corners of her mouth twitched, "...that's me."

Everyone: "Damn it hahahahahaha!!!"

This is awkward.

It's fine if the child didn't recognize him, but this elder sister also saw Qishejiang's actions, so she didn't dare to say that he was a cross talk actor, and by the way, she also hurt the female guest.She is the only one who has the title of idol at the scene, right?

After getting along with each other these days, everyone has become acquainted, and besides, the female guests have admitted that they are self-defeating.How could they be polite to her now, they all laughed wildly again, until the director had to come out to control the scene.

Qishejiang also took Xingmu out helplessly, "This is what I said, it seems that it's time to tell you the truth, I'm really a comedian."

Mother of the child: "..."

She said aggrievedly, "This, this is really unrecognizable..."

Qishejiang moved a table over, and read the opening poem to everyone who was still smiling, "The mandarin book records a false marriage, and the gathering of friends is entangled. It can be said that the resurgence is wrong, this disaster is definitely not..."

Xingmu patted, and with a clear and sharp "snap", he finally read the last three words: "——started for no reason!"

Speaking of single mouth, some of the setting poems are finished reading and filming Xingmu, and some are left with a few words before shooting. One depends on how the master teaches, and the other depends on the content of the poem, depending on the mood.

As soon as he started, the scene slowly quieted down.

As usual, I briefly introduce the content of the first and second episodes to those who have never heard of it, and then replay the previous episodes before continuing.

"As mentioned earlier, the county magistrate was reported by someone, and broke through Zhao Sheng and Yang Haoshan's private meeting in the meditation room, and consciously caught the adulterous couple! Zhao Sheng was drunk on the spot, and he was so scared that he fell off the stool. Yang Haoshan put his hands down. , still clutching the hairpin, but let the county magistrate come in to take a look—it’s time to take off her make-up and go to bed. He thought well, no wonder you refused to sleep with me, so you have an adulterer!”

Qishejiang has been in the new dimension for so long, and when speaking of stand-up, he also incorporated some modern-style witticisms.

"As a student, Zhao Sheng met the old parents of the county, that is, the county magistrate himself. But he didn't know that this beautiful woman was actually the county magistrate's wife. He was so frightened that he was terrified. Having tea here, we are both innocent.

"This Yang Haoshan is a scoundrel. When he saw it, there were only two options now. One was that he confessed that he had come to murder for revenge, and the other was that he was accused of adultery. Neither of them came to a good end. Yang Haoshan immediately pointed the hairpin at him. My own throat hurt, he said, master, you have come, this person wants to do something wrong to my slave, and I am trying to kill myself to keep my innocence.

"Everyone, there is a saying in ancient times called 'rape out of a woman's mouth', which means that only a woman complains, and if someone has a relationship with her, that is, someone has committed adultery with her, and the man's plea will not be heard. At that time, women were punished. The constraints are even greater, and a woman who loses her innocence will be forced to death by the society. If she voluntarily says so, she will lose her own life, so such confessions are usually accepted.

"When Yang Haoshan said this, Zhao Sheng was stupid. Even if he was full of mouths, he couldn't tell clearly. Besides, think about it, the so-called melon fields do not pay for shoes, and Li Xia does not have a full crown. Zhao Sheng promised a woman to meet alone. Don’t you really have any other thoughts in your heart about the invitation? It’s just that you were caught by the county magistrate.”

It could be regarded as the Shura field, Qishejiang used his Beijing opera skills again, with a few movements, and a change in tone, he clearly depicted the images of the three of them, highlighting the tension of the situation.

Because of Yang Haoshan pretending to be crazy at home, the county magistrate didn't believe that she was forced to do so. He was ashamed of being green. He was so angry that he found an excuse to beat Zhao Sheng, put him in chains, and put him in prison.As for Yang Haoshan, he was locked in the yard, so as not to lose his face if it spread, and he would only deal with it later.

Although Yang Haoshan couldn't escape, he felt very happy.Now that the matter has come to this point, he has long been unwilling to deal with the backyard as a woman. Now that Zhao Sheng is thrown into prison and the county magistrate is given a cuckold, wouldn't it be comfortable?

Not many days later, a road inspector was on his way to take office. He passed by here, and heard about the fire in the granary in the county.At Zhao Sheng’s family, they somehow heard that their son was imprisoned for theft. Thinking about the environment in the prison, Yang Haoshan died there. His family was so anxious, what should we do?Stop the car and sue!

This Xun Dao is also a righteous person, so he immediately asked the county magistrate, and the county magistrate revealed his secrets, so the Xun Dao brought Zhao Sheng for interrogation.

There is no impenetrable wall in the world. In fact, the story of the magistrate's wife has been spread in a small area. Some people think that this lady used to be virtuous and virtuous, but now she has adultery after a serious illness. She should be fascinated by the vixen.

The inspector interrogated Zhao Sheng and Yang Haoshan. Yang Haoshan had never seen the big world, and when he was frightened by the inspector, he poured beans out of a bamboo tube and told his story clearly.

"The county magistrate was stupid when he heard Yang Haoshan say that he was a man. Yang Haoshan also told him on purpose, master, a husband and wife can be kind for a hundred days..." Qishejiang learned from the county magistrate, "His face is green It's time to fight Yang Haoshan!"

The patrol judged the case and reported it to the superior to decide the case.But people can interrogate, how can ghosts and gods interrogate?Xun Dao ordered people to open the altar, wrote Qingci himself, and sued to the underworld, and the two officials sued at the same time - sued both Lord Yama and the county magistrate.

"If you act with forgiveness, the people will be blessed, and if you act with violence, you will add disaster to the people. The foolish king of Hades is in chaos, the morality is not worthy, the foolish county magistrates are punished, and the management of money and food is chaotic. How many people have died in vain, and they deserve atonement. The Zhao family falsely accused It is also responsible for causing death, and Zhao Sheng has no hope of imperial examinations from now on. Although Yang Haoshan is a victim, he almost ruined the innocence of his wife, and he was sent back to the underworld for retrial, and his life was renewed! Cause and effect!" Qishejiang patted the wood to wake up, "Resurrection" was finished.

The scene was silent for a while, and then everyone applauded.

All the guests smacked and touched it, feeling unfinished.It is true that Qishejiang's words were still so wonderful, but the ending of the story itself made them feel disappointed. They were all used to "heavy taste", and they always felt that this traditional karma ending was not enough.

Qishejiang keenly sensed something was wrong, and quickly asked, "Is there something wrong?"

When he told this story before, the response was very good from the beginning to the end, but now everyone is a little hesitant. He wonders if it is because of aesthetic changes.If so, he asked for advice, so he could change it.

The female guest put her face on her face and said, "There's nothing wrong with it, it's just that I prefer those with more emotional factors..."

Qishejiang didn't quite understand: "What do you mean?"

Zhang Yue said blankly: "What she means is, if there is a love triangle between you Zhao Sheng, Yang Haoshan and the county magistrate, it will be fine."

Qishejiang: "..."

A male actor and guest on the side also embraced Qishejiang, and said, "Otherwise, you can add a few more lines to this story. In addition to the love triangle of the three of them, there is also the original official wife of the county magistrate, Zhao Sheng's fiancee, and Yang Haoshan's childhood sweetheart." Wait for the character, you can see that you have all kinds of sexual orientations..."

Qishejiang covered his face and said, "That can be said until the next year."

Everyone said: "No, this kind of story can give you 180 episodes."

Qishejiang couldn't help but laugh. He said a single word, and the longest time was dozens of times.

But think about it, TV dramas are performed by a group of people, with complete scenes and special effects. Stand-up and storytelling are all spoken at the same time, and Dagushu has an accompaniment.

……

After the third recording, the content of the second trip also began to be played.

Originally, Qishejiang and Zhang Yue sang together once when they were back for the first time, but they were cut by the program team.This time it may be that the effect was too good, and it was more explosive than the conflict between the two of them. The "Why the West Chamber" they sang together was not cut.

This time the audience was very happy.

Okay, Zhang Yue, you saw Tianer laughing at Qi Shejiang, and you actually learned Xia Yiwei's song in private. No, Xia Yiwei's song alone is not enough to express the connotation. It should be said that Qi Shejiang sang it and Zhang Yue forwarded it Song.

You know, just because he was smashed by Qishejiang, some people from the crosstalk school even used it to say that this is lack of art and morality, and it stands to reason that the person scolded every day should be your partner.

As a result, Zhang Yue did some kind of sand sculpture by himself, and learned to sing "Why the West Chamber"-of course, he sang very well. The impromptu collaboration between the two rivals was surprisingly perfect.

Zhang Yue's fans were all drunk, [Brother Yue, tell the truth, are you and Qishejiang on the same level on the surface, but have already fallen out of love in private...]

[Nonsense, you can't fall in love with me?Look at his figure, his face...]

[What kind of tiger and wolf talk is there? Report it. 】

Zhang Yue also reposted it indignantly: "... I was brainwashed because of my carelessness!"

Because the previous impression was too deep, more people thought Zhang Yue was making a joke, how funny it was.

There are also a handful of cults that emerged from this, lurking in every corner, secretly rubbing and expressing: [Falling in love and killing each other, the sense of CP is overwhelming, knock it! 】

In the blink of an eye, it was the last recording. As soon as Qishejiang arrived, the director whispered a few words, and he nodded repeatedly.

When it was over, the director announced that there is a new rule this time, you can change the partner who lives with you, that is, regroup.

Now the guests have everything to say, some get along well and don't want to change partners, and some complain about the snoring in the same room and apply for a change.

The director also wanted to be the last one, let's have some novelty, let's play a game, and those who win will have the right to choose first.

Now Zhang Yue is embarrassed.

He said to himself, I'm used to sleeping, and I don't want to change my roommate.You have to work hard, but you can't let everyone see that he really cares...

Of course, Zhang Yue still won the championship in the end, and lightly let his teammates choose a partner.

Xie Qing and the others didn't find it unpleasant to get along with Qishejiang, they joked, "We have to make Lao Zhang unhappy, we still choose Jesse."

So their group didn't change in the end.

Zhang Yue was quite relaxed. When the group reached the house they were going to live in this time, they walked around the yard and delayed for a while. When they turned back to put their luggage, they found Xie Qing standing at the door of the room, with Qishejiang inside.

Xie Qing: "Hahaha, let's sleep in the same room, I like to sleep in the south."

Zhang Yue: "..."

When Xie Qing looked back and saw Zhang Yue, she warmly pointed out, "Old Zhang, you should sleep in that room, and the bed is big, so you can sleep well."

Your uncle's.Zhang Yue walked away with a dark face.

Qishejiang took a look with his head, always feeling that Zhang Yue was not very happy.That's right, the two of them slept in the front, and everyone got along very happily, and Zhang Yue has always been a bit petty.

Isn't that right? Zhang Yue was packing things in the room, making a lot of noise.

Qishejiang boiled water, mixed it with well water, and took a bowl of warm water. Drinking this would not irritate his throat. He found Zhang Yue, who was still cleaning up. Seeing him coming, he turned his head.

Qishejiang walked over, "Guer, drink some water before practicing."

Zhang Yue: "..."

Zhang Yue: "...Fuck you!!"

Qishejiang smiled and said, "You have the potential to be a fan."

Zhang Yue couldn't get angry at what he said, and he was too embarrassed to be angry.Qishejiang made fun of Yang Guo's little dragon girl, which was nothing more than an ethical joke in cross talk, looking for burdens from the ethical perspective of father, son, wife, and children.

But deep down in Zhang Yue's heart, it's a bit weird...

He stood up and drank the water, "Come on, I'll always be beaten by you like this, is it okay to talk about cross talk?"

It was also after getting to know Qishejiang that he watched a lot of cross talks, otherwise he would just say "Go to hell."

At this time, Xie Qing also strolled over, "Comrade Zhang, don't be so hasty in doing things, bang bang bang bang, I don't know if there is an earthquake, you go outside to feed the chickens when you have time..."

Zhang Yue went up and kicked him on the back of the buttocks, cursing: "Get out of here, your surname is Yin!"

Xie Qing: "???"

……

When the recording was coming to an end, everyone had dinner together again, said goodbye, and showed friendship.

According to the director's instructions, Qishejiang stood up and said, "Let me tell you one more paragraph."

It was the time when the emotions were enthusiastic, and everyone thought he was going to say a joke to adjust the atmosphere, so they applauded and welcomed him.

Qishejiang took out the Xingmu, stood up and recited the final poem: "Infatuation mistakenly recognizes the road of three lives, and the brothel looks back with hatred. I am writing a Longquan sword today, waiting to behead the poor Xinglang in the world!"

"What I want to talk about today is the story of the oiran leaders in the land of fireworks at the end of the Qing Dynasty and the beginning of the Republic of China. Just in Lezhou, on the banks of the Leshui River today, there are singing and singing every night like the Lantern Festival. Guests come and go, and they can also be called gentry officials. Biji..."

Everyone has seen a lot of brothels and Chuguan in TV dramas, but according to the current standards, there is no detailed filming, let alone the inside story at that time.

But Qishejiang is different. More than 80 years ago, he walked through the streets and alleys, and at night he had to go to the kiln streets to perform in the fireworks to earn money. He saw a lot.This article is an old story, but he has added details, which is extremely true.

This kind of insider disclosure of similar industries has been heard with great interest.

But after talking for a few minutes, Zhang Yue suddenly interrupted Qishejiang, "Wait a minute."

Everyone looked at him, it was a wonderful time, why interrupt it!

They were still a little apprehensive. It's not good to interrupt someone's performance suddenly. Besides, Zhang Yue and Qishejiang are not so confrontational now. Isn't this a sudden finding of fault?

Zhang Yue felt something was wrong a long time ago, so he asked Qishejiang, "How many times have you told this story?"

Crowd: ? ?

Wait, can't it, can't it, it's impossible...

Seeing that he couldn't hide it anymore, Qishejiang looked at the director and said, "Director Liu told me to say it. There are thirteen episodes in total..."

Everyone: "..."

All of a sudden, everyone grabbed what they had and beat up the director, "Are you wicked or not!"

Do you think they will continue to listen or not?Don't go on listening, this is the exciting part, let's talk about the team leader's tricks in helping the girls choose guests.But keep listening, based on their experience, they all know that there must be a suspenseful suspense at the end!

...Let's beat up the director first!

The author has something to say: the finale poem "Infatuation" comes from Zidi Shu Qinglou's grudge, and the last chapter's "The Merry Takes All the Fireworks" is written by Zidi Shu Yibu