What Do I Want to Do with This Magnificent Beauty?

"I can see it from the expressions of all of you. You all find it strange. What is this man doing here? He looks like a foreign friend. Is it a mistake in the announcement? He actually came up to dance." Qishejiang spoke at a moderate speed, He also said what the audience thought, and everyone smiled knowingly.

"Well, actually, I don't want to come up, but my mother insisted that I show off my talents." Qishejiang knew that Xia Yiwei was famous, so he smashed her (jokingly), "My mother, Everyone knows that she is gentle and beautiful. When I was young, I never engaged in stick education. She used her hands."

He was suddenly a burden, everyone was familiar with Xia Yiwei, when she performed just now, she immediately burst out laughing, and seemed to be booing - Xia Yiwei himself should still be in the teahouse right now?

With Xia Yiwei as the foreshadowing and Qishejiang's rhythm, eight points of funny turned into ten points.

"So, I have to come up." Qishejiang said, "Otherwise, what if she slaps herself on the head and goes out to accuse me of being unfilial?"

Next, the audience laughed again, this time even louder, and then "噫" again.

Just now Qishejiang said that Xia Yiwei didn't engage in education with sticks, but beat him with his hands. Everyone laughed when he reversed it, but he flipped the next sentence again. !

No reason to laugh, no one would think that Xia Yiwei was really like this when things happened on stage.

"Slapping your head to send you a disobedient person" is an old joke from ancient times, but it's very appropriate for Qishejiang to turn it around like this.

"This child..." Xia Yiwei herself couldn't laugh or cry in the box, but she still felt a little sweet in her heart. After all, the mother and son hadn't been close for many years, and her son was willing to use her as a burden, and she still felt it was a kind of intimacy.

Usually crosstalk artists come on stage, and before the official show, they have to say some "cutting words", that is, Coke's interesting opening remarks, which can not only adjust the atmosphere, arouse the interest of the audience, but also understand everyone's preferences, and adjust the next performance in time.

Qishejiang first recited the finale poem, calming down the whole audience, and then grabbed a few burdens from himself and Xia Yiwei and threw stones to ask for directions. It is a test of on-the-spot adaptability.

Now seeing the bells ringing one by one, the audience's expressions gradually relaxed, and they focused on what he said, instead of thinking about taking pictures of his face with their mobile phones, and then slowly introduced the topic.

"...As far as my mother is concerned, a typical female star loves to be beautiful, and she doesn't allow anything that is not beautiful in her life. So in the story I am going to tell you next, the protagonist must also be beautiful."

Qishejiang got into work smoothly from Xia Yiwei's body.

"This story happened not far from us, during the Xianfeng period. In Changzhou City, there was a second-rate son named Yang Haoshan, who was the protagonist of the story. He had no father or mother, and his relatives and neighbors didn't want to see him. How much don't you like it? Street A family surnamed Zhao was attacked by thieves, and he was the first to suspect him. The county magistrate was also a fool, sentenced a gourd to file a lawsuit, and put him in a big prison.

"Yang Haoshan had no father or mother, and he had no one to take care of him. He died within half a month after he entered! This 'pain' is not a stupid 'foolish'. Yang Haoshan didn't die in prison, he was sick The first one is dead. In the past, the conditions in the prison were poor, and the guards were not easy to get along with. Many prisoners who were not on death row died in the prison because of cold, starvation, illness and other reasons. It’s called Yu’s death. Do you think he died unjustly?”

Qishejiang's breath was long, paragraph by paragraph, the pronunciation of the words was always clear, and the rhythm was well grasped. Although the burden was not as dense as the words in the front, it was already attractive.

After listening to the last two paragraphs, the audience still had a question in their minds, such a bum, who died of illness in prison, how could he be a beautiful protagonist?Where is the beauty?

"After Yang Haoshan died, he came to the Division of the Underworld. Of course he complained. When Lord Yan questioned the local city god, he said that Yang Haoshan should be acquitted. Yang Haoshan said that I am dead. Is the acquittal intended to let me become a lonely ghost? Lord Yan said don’t worry, I’m different from that foolish magistrate, your body is smelly in the mass grave right now, but don’t be afraid, there are two living people whose lifespans are exhausted, you can borrow the body to repay the yang, and then After living the rest of the day, by the way, get revenge. Choose one of the two, and see which one you want.

"Yang Haoshan is so happy, he can still choose! The king of hell said, one is the daughter-in-law of the head of the Zhao family who falsely accused him, and the other is the wife of the county magistrate who misjudged you. Look, which one do you want?" ?”

The audience laughed and applauded repeatedly.

Now I understand, no wonder it is said to be a beautiful protagonist, it turns out that this guy wants to change from a man to a woman, and possesses a woman.For a while, it aroused people's interest.

This article is called "Resurrection by Wrong Body", and it tells a ridiculous story about a second-rate man Yang Haoshan who died unjustly in prison, and then returned to the wife of the county magistrate who misjudged him.

Qishejiang opened his mouth and shaped three or five characters, each of which was lifelike. Even a male character playing a female role was described as vivid by him.

The story is narrated with baggage, the details are absurd and humorous, and the audience's heartstrings are all tightened, and they didn't notice it for half an hour.

This is not finished yet, this is a stand-up novella, divided into three chapters.

Today is definitely incomplete. The story progressed to the point where the county magistrate insisted on having sex with his wife. The bastard dressed in his wife’s skin became anxious, and pushed the county magistrate while stripping his clothes: Come if you have the ability, I can’t kill you today!

"Crack!" Qishejiang patted Xingmu, which meant it was over.

The audience who were already immersed in the story roared with laughter, realizing that it was broken here, and they were a little unfinished. This story is not over yet!

If they hadn't seen it with their own eyes, they wouldn't have believed it. Such a handsome young man, who was said to be quite taciturn, was actually so eloquent.

Talking with one mouth for more than half an hour without stopping, is this still called taciturn?Then they are not dumb!

Everyone responded with warm applause, and Qishejiang bowed neatly and got off the stage.

……

Inside the box.

After listening to it, Liu Quanhai was all smiles. He had never heard of this text, and it seemed that it might be the unique skill of Qishejiang's teacher.It is estimated that he is an old artist who has gone overseas, otherwise there would be so many lost jobs.

I don't know how many "lost" jokes Qishejiang will have. If so, even if he doesn't know his teacher's background, with these skills, it will be of great benefit to the inheritance of cross talk, and he must make friends.

Besides Qishejiang's strength, he was even more ashamed, his skills were solid, Fan Erzheng!

The cross talk actors will also keep up with current events to modify their burdens and bring forth new ones.

As for Qishejiang, what he said was completely old-fashioned, there were basically no popular jokes, and he relied entirely on his own skills to grab the audience's attention, control the rhythm, and make people laugh.

The same joke, some people say it makes people laugh, and some people say it only makes the audience feel embarrassed. This is a personal skill.

How to say every word and every sentence seems to be random, but it is actually full of skill.

Stand-up comedy pays special attention to the actor's ability to tell stories and shape characters. If the story is not well told, the burden cannot be released.The story must be funny, but also acceptable to the audience.

This is to show them that they have a solid foundation and can use it freely!

Of course, because of the old style, I couldn't tell the teacher's lineage for a while, and I only felt that I was somewhat similar to some old seniors.

——Actually, Liu Quanhai was thinking too much. It was purely because Qishejiang didn't know enough about this time and space, and he couldn't even play with his mobile phone.

Xia Yiwei on the side was silent. She also laughed just now, immersed in the story, and thought after laughing.

Jesse is successful, but is she really going to let Jesse do that?

"Ms. Xia, you don't quite agree with the child talking about cross talk?" Liu Quanhai asked.

Xia Yiwei woke up startled, and nodded blankly, "No, it's just..."

Liu Quanhai smiled faintly, "It's just that you think, compared with acting and singing, you seem to be of little interest. Is that right?"

"I didn't mean that." Xia Yiwei said repeatedly, "Ms. Liu, I just hope the child is well. I don't mean to offend, but your business is hard. I brought him here today just to let him see Backstage."

"I know, sorry for the hearts of parents in the world." Liu Quanhai sighed, "But Jesse is indeed the food for this bowl of rice, and he has already opened his mind at first glance. He is also the last heir of Zidishu, this is not from our cross talk school. But I really care about it. I still hope that you can give him a chance, at least let him try, no matter how bad it is, he can come to something, Sanqi. Movie, song, cross talk Sanqi artist, don’t you think so?”

Xia Yiwei was so teased that he laughed out loud, "Ms. Liu is right."

After all, she was convinced by Qishejiang's performance, and she was even more reluctant to bear the child.

Liu Quanhai exchanged contact information with Qishejiang that night. He admired Qishejiang very much, and having such a guide was also very important to Qishejiang.

Today's performance in the tea house, because the actors here are relying on selling tickets to make a living, so video recording is not allowed.

After Xia Yiwei and Qishejiang took the stage, the response was overwhelming, and they couldn't stop it. Some viewers took some photos and a few small videos, which were also posted on the Internet.

But when Qishejiang said stand-up, the place had already quieted down, and after being attracted by him, he didn't even think about secretly taking pictures.

The audience present that night also complained. Qishejiang went to perform once, but he didn't finish the story. Where could they find the ending? The almighty Internet couldn't find it.

But with empty mouths, with Qishejiang's previous reputation, who would dare to believe that he has mesmerized people by telling stories?You said that he is so good-looking that he has become fans of the audience, which is more reliable!

It didn't make waves at all.

This time, however, Qishejiang also played the sanxian. How good was his level? Many people didn't understand the sanxian, so they went off topic after discussing it nonsense.

——Looking at this posture, could it be that Qishejiang will be a singer next?Learn to fuck and sing with your face?

Some people went to Aite Zhang to make an appointment and asked him to taste it. After all, he was the first to provide the golden sentence about Qishejiang.

Zhang Yuezheng was bored. When he swiped Weibo and saw Aite, he immediately remembered Qishejiang himself who he met at Pineapple Media.

At that time, he was very surprised that the person he had ridiculed actually came to talk to him.

Zhang Yue was very hesitant in his heart, and Qishejiang smiled at him very sincerely, and his smile was so pretty that it dazzled his eyes, and he was too embarrassed to keep his cold and poisonous tongue for a moment.

Who knew that it was so easy for him to make up his mind to talk to Qishejiang, and Qishejiang turned him down in turn!

The narrow-minded Zhang Yuexian turned to Weibo and said, "I haven't heard it yet. She looks really good."

Laughter filled the comments: Just knew Jang Yoo wouldn't let them down.

Zhang Yue had never heard of the concert version before, so he clicked on the video casually.According to previous experience, he can pick out a bunch of slots with his feet.

There was a piece of sanxian, Zhang Yue was stunned for a moment, although he didn't understand sanxian, but the music was common, he could tell the difference.And in the middle, Qishejiang imitated the geese with stringed sounds!At this level, it is much better than his piano!

Next, Qishejiang also sang Quyi, just that resonance, that breath...

Zhang Yue: "???"

No, this is not the Qishejiang he knew!

Zhang Yue pulled the progress bar back and listened to "Why the West Chamber" again, twice, three times... There was no fake playing, no fake singing. Xia Yiwei might be wrong at this scene, but Qishejiang was not at all!

Damn, it's pretty good.

This Qishejiang is poisonous, why is there such a big difference between singing and singing?If you have this ability, do you perform on the show or not?

Well now, isn't his Weibo embarrassing!

Speaking of Weibo, Zhang Yue discovered that a netizen "Laobai Bubai" who was certified as a string master of a certain provincial folk art troupe posted a passionate message: "I can't express my mood! Good strings! The adaptation is also good! The ingenious change of the chorus part Xiansi is very skillful and expresses his feelings with his voice!"

Zhang Yue: "..."

He hasn't heard the original version, so he adapted it?

"Old Zhang, it's time to eat." The drummer of the band poked his head in and urged Zhang Yue to come and eat.

Forget it, eat first.

Zhang Yue put down the tablet, walked lazily to the living room, hummed a song and opened the takeaway.

The other three members of the band looked at me and I looked at you. After a long while, the drummer asked with a complicated expression: "Did you hum "Why the West Chamber" just now?"

Zhang Yue: "..."

... X, Qishejiang is so annoying!