When can I be resurrected? [Zhongyingmei]

For the first time after Freddie woke up, he felt like he was being watched.

It wasn't just his Captain America boyfriend, his vampire pal, and cutie Carrie who showed surprise looks, but also two... Freaks who looked like twin siblings.It was also the staring eyes of this pair of freak brothers and sisters with strange faces that shocked Freddy who had just woken up.

"They are Kyle Kingston and Chris Evans." Steve patted Freddy on the back reassuringly, and after seeing the ghost finally wake up, the man felt a little relieved, " It is because of being cursed by a witch that it became what it is now."

"Chris?" Freddy looked at Steve, nodded subconsciously, and then felt that something was wrong, and after slowly reacting, he stared at Chris with wide eyes angrily, "That's right. You uploaded the video of Carrie on the Internet! How can there be such a vicious girl like you!"

Originally, Freddy wanted to give Chris a good lesson, but he didn't expect that as soon as he closed and opened his eyes, everyone ran to him.

"Are you the scary ghost in my house?" Chris also reflected the bizarre and terrifying incident that happened at home in the middle of the night before, and it turned out that there was really a ghost.The things that were scary at first became less scary after seeing the real ghost at this moment.Even after Carrie woke up, Captain America comforted Carrie and said that witches would not hurt Freddy, Chris wondered if her current situation was revenge designed by Freddy, "Yes It's not that you let the witch turn me into this ghost!"

Seeing the ferocious and angry expression on Chris's face, Freddy's anger, which he hadn't suppressed at all, burst into flames.

"Obviously you were the one who did the wrong thing, but you make the same mistakes again and again, and you have no intention of repenting." Freddie could also see that even though she was punished by the witch, Chris didn't think about it at all. Can realize such a mistake, "Although I didn't let the witch punish you, I just think she did a good job."

"You are not a man or a woman..." Chris showed a furious expression on her face, and reached out to touch Freddy.

"Enough!" Before Steve could stop Chris's move, Carrie frowned and shouted, and then a powerful force knocked Chris away.

The petite woman slammed her back against the door, then knelt on the ground with her back slightly arched, showing a painful expression.

"Chris, it doesn't matter what you say about me, but I don't allow you to say a word about Freddy." Carrie's face was completely gone from the cowardly and weak look before, and at this moment her eyes were even extremely cold, still There is a deeper storm of anger condensed in it, it seems that the girl's sanity is still on the verge of collapse.As long as Chris's unscrupulousness goes one step further, it is enough to make Carrie go berserk again. Even in front of the superhero, she can't stop her from hurting the evil girl who hurt the most important person in her heart.

Carrie's words didn't seem to contain any emotional ups and downs. The girl's eyes were extremely cold, and Chris dared not look directly in fear. She could only lower her head, bite her lips tightly and remain silent.

"Leave first." Nick said lightly at this time.

"But... the curse on us." Kyle had been silent all the time, but at this time they were asked to leave, Kyle couldn't help but speak.After all, he managed to see that there might be a possibility to lift the curse, and Captain America is obviously the person most likely to help him.

"If there is a way to lift the curse, we will naturally contact you." Nick looked at Kyle and said lightly, "It doesn't make any sense for you to stay here now."

Kyle knew that Nick was right, but he also knew that it wasn't just Carrie who was obviously offended by Chrissy's slander of Freddy just now.He clearly saw Nick and Steve whose expressions changed after Chris said those thoughtless words impulsively.And Nick let them go, there must be a reason why he didn't want Chris to stay in front of him.

"Will you guys figure out a way?" Chris said softly, finally she could only cast her hopeful eyes on Captain America, "I really, can't bear to live with such an ugly face and such a disgusting body, This is worse than letting me die! You are Captain America, you will definitely think of a way to break the curse as soon as possible, right?"

Hearing Chris's words, Freddy's eyebrows twitched.

The ugly appearance of a person is not terrible, what is terrible is the equally ugly heart.

This girl unscrupulously hurt Carrie time and time again, but never considered whether the harm she caused Carrie would make Carrie feel worse than death.Moreover, the title of Kristi [Captain America] is like a moral kidnapping, thinking that if Steve fails to help her break the curse, it is entirely Captain America's responsibility.

"Even Captain America can't do things. Look at me, I'm Captain America's favorite lover, but so what? If he was omnipotent, I wouldn't appear in your form like this Right now." Freddy looked at Chris indifferently and said, "I know that the witch is not a real villain, what she wants to do is to punish you. She thinks enough is enough, then it's over, it's that simple .It's just a matter of what range she considers [enough]."

"I don't know about your story, Kyle." Freddie continued, the ghost's appearance was clearly beautiful, but the words he said were chilling, "But Chris, if I were a witch, if If I can possess the ability to curse, if you have been unable to realize your mistakes, then I will make you unable to escape for the rest of your life."

Chris's pupils tightened, and she stared at Freddy blankly.

"I understand. If there is any progress, please contact me." Kyle nodded at this time. After all, he had maintained such an ugly appearance for a while, and he saw clearly that all the people around him had no real love. His people also realized how stupid his once arrogant arrogance seemed.Originally he was the center of the world, but now he is like the most fringe character who can't be avoided.Under such circumstances, being able to know Captain America actually made Kyle feel very lucky.

Although it is not to say that all hopes are pinned on the hero, at least, the hero may have a direction to investigate the curse of the witch that he cannot obtain.

This is a surprisingly good thing.

Kyle turned his head to look at Chris with a gloomy face. He thought it would take a long time for this girl to understand that this curse would not only bring her an ugly appearance, but also destroy her false personality. The pain of stripping everything in front of your eyes one by one, only the real and boundless loneliness and suffering will be left in the end.

"Where's your mother?" After Kyle and Chris left, Freddie looked at Carrie in confusion.

"Aunt May sent her home first, and Peter went with her if she was worried." Carrie explained softly, "It's fine, as long as you're fine."

Freddy looked at Carrie, who was as obedient as a little lamb, and felt completely different from Carrie, who had a cold and heartless face just now.

Could it be that some switch was turned on because of too much stimulation during this period?

"You finally met her?" Nick asked, looking at Freddie.

"Yes." Of course Freddy knew that Nick was referring to a witch.

"What is this?" Captain America held Freddy's hand tightly, and his eyes touched the strange lines on the boy's slender wrist.

"It's the countdown." Freddy lowered his eyes and said slowly, "It's... the countdown to heaven."

The words of the long-haired ghost made all three people present startled, their hearts clenched, and they stared at Freddy in disbelief.

"I remember." Freddy smiled when he looked up. "I remember everything."

Steve stared at Freddy tremblingly, and at the same time, the man couldn't help but tighten his grip on the ghost's hand, as if he was afraid that he might not be able to catch him in the next second.

"It is true that I gave up on you a long time ago, Steve." Freddy looked at Steve and said, "You know, you are so thin and small, even if you were drafted, you were not accepted because of your poor physical fitness." Hired, I also think you can't come back alive after going to the battlefield. But your eyes were so determined at the time, I knew I couldn't stop you. I believe you you will be a good soldier, but I'm afraid you won't come back. And the truth is , you are a good soldier, you are better than all of us think."

"I have always been worried about your safety, and later you became Captain America. I know in your heart, you don't think that your becoming Captain America will hinder the relationship between us. But... "Freddie looked straight into the blue eyes of the blond man. He finally recovered all his memories at this moment, and he was able to have this conversation calmly, "I am very inferior, I feel that you are getting further and further away from me It's far away. I want to be your wife so much, I even fantasized about our wedding scene countless times, but I know that I am not a real woman. My mother is always mentally tormenting me and making me afraid My male identity will be exposed one day, and everything that should be glorious in you will be discredited."

"I don't care." Steve said with a firm gaze, "You know, I don't care."

"I care, I'm crazy about it." Freddy said calmly, "You don't know how depressed I am, and how painful I am. I feel inferior to my body all the time. I even thought, before you come back, maybe I could be surgically turned into a real woman. Because I want to be Mrs. Orwell's real woman, Steve Rogers' real wife, and real There is no need for Flora, who is always carrying a psychological burden."

"I didn't do it in the end, because I was afraid that I, who was deformed like this, would become even more deformed." The corner of Freddy's mouth raised in such a bitter way, "You sent me a lot of letters, but you didn't Did not receive my reply. You may think that you have been to too many battlefields so my letter cannot be sent to you. In fact, I did not write any more letters. I flinched, I was also afraid, and I was holding a shameful secret. My relationship with the most revered Captain America of all people scares me."

"I thought giving up on you would make me feel relieved. However, I still can't help caring about all your news, and I can't forget you. I know how brave you were on the battlefield, and know that you are all soldiers The captain everyone trusts, I know how you fly the flag at the forefront in the hearts of all the people. Then, one day, I saw a photo of you and other soldiers...I suddenly had an uncontrollable thought." Frey Di looked at Steve and said, even after so many years, the man's appearance is still as young and handsome as the dusty photo in his memory, "I was thinking, I am also a man, and I can stand like them Going to the same battlefield by your side."

Captain America's hands froze, and he knew that was exactly what Freddy did.

"I was just thinking that, and I thought it was ridiculous, because I couldn't leave my mother behind, and I didn't think I'd be as good a soldier as you are. On the one hand I know I'm not as good as you On the other hand, I don’t think I can survive on the battlefield.” Freddy said with a self-mockery, “But, just because I have such an idea, I always think about it. I To wonder if I would have really gone down the same path as you guys if my mother had raised me as a boy."

"A lot of women in the town also joined the army. Before they became soldiers, they all cut their hair short. I don't know what kind of mentality they cut their hair. Maybe, I hope to make some changes. , but my mother died because of this change.” Freddie’s eyes darkened, talking about his mother’s death is still the deepest pain in his heart, “She was angry that I cut my hair short, and at that time I also It exploded. For the first time, I poured out all my anger, all my resentment, all my pain, and I hoped that in my mother's eyes, I would not just be Flora's substitute or creation, but He is a real person with his own thoughts and choices. It was also that quarrel that made my mother mad at me."

"It's not your fault." Carrie said quickly with red eyes, "Freddy, it's not your fault."

"It was I who killed my mother, even though she always regarded me as a substitute for [Flora], even though she kept me in the mental torment of self-denial, even though she made me have no courage to change anything Everything is also afraid of everything I have, but she is always the mother who raised me. I deeply remember the gentle way she sang me a lullaby, the way she praised me with bright eyes and proud way, I remember her love How beautiful my look is..." Freddy's voice trembled, behind the pain and darkness, he still enjoyed the precious warmth from his mother's love, "But I killed her, this is what I didn't way to be forgiven.”

"I'm desperate, Steve." Freddie stared at Steve with red eyes. I wanted to get out of her control. However, when the thread was broken, I just felt hopeless, and a huge sense of guilt and pain overwhelmed me, but I couldn't save my mother's life. I wanted to die in the past to get rid of this Everything, but... I came to that lake, I thought of you, if you want to say that the last attachment in my heart is only you, but I don't want to see you again. I just don't think I should die meaninglessly in There, I want to die closer to you."

"You know what happened after that." Freddy's eyes fell on the silent but gloomy Nick, "I became Freddy, a soldier, and Nick's comrade-in-arms. I didn't There is nothing to be afraid of, because I just want to die more meaningfully, and every day I become a soldier is an extra day for me. However, the war still changed me, and I started to feel scared... I It's not that I'm afraid of death, but I'm afraid of other people's death."

"I did get ridiculed for being a sissy at first, and they said I was the first to die on the battlefield, but then...we got along very well. We fought side by side, we lived and died together, we were on the battlefield We trust each other, and there is nothing that really separates us. However, war cannot avoid sacrifice.” Freddy’s eyes fell, and his voice was full of loss, “I still remember their names, I still remember their appearance looks...but their lives were easily harvested by the battlefield."

"I have never underestimated the cruelty of the battlefield, but I underestimated the cruelty of the battlefield to the living soldiers. Those comrades who I valued died on the battlefield, but I could do nothing. I remember a young soldier named Robert, because During the war, his fiancée traveled thousands of miles to marry him, and her wife was praying in the tent wearing a white gauze, but she didn’t wait for her lover’s return.” Freddy put his hand on his forehead and his voice choked, “I’m thinking , Robert lives one more day, even if it's just a moment, how great it would be to complete this wedding."

Freddy, who recovered his memory, finally understood at this moment, what kind of unknown pain is hidden in Lyudmila's epitaph——

[Pain so persistent, moves patiently like a snail;]

[Happiness is so fleeting, like a rabbit's tail skimming the autumn grassland. ]

The joy in war is joy in bitterness, and what is more, it is uninterrupted pain and suffering.It was a battlefield where life and death were put on the line for bloody battles. Amidst the roar of artillery fire and the diffuse gunpowder smoke, all that remained were appalling corpses all over the field, and these bodies that had lost their breath were all soldiers who had once had fresh life.They came here with enthusiasm, but finally died lying in a pool of blood, and their relatives and lovers in their hometown could never see them go back alive.The living soldiers are alive, but they don't know when they will die.And they endured one tragic war memory after another, witnessed the sacrifice of more comrades who fought side by side, and rushed to the next cruel battlefield with no end in sight...

"Everything on the battlefield made me feel painful, but I didn't regret it, and I even thought it was the most correct decision I made in my life. In the army, I really found my sense of belonging, I found The person I wanted to be, I found [Freddie's] life. It's my own choice, and I wouldn't regret it even if I died on this road. I even for me, for me to be this Proud of being a soldier who fought on the front lines." Freddy's eyes fixed on Steve, he became [Flora] for his mother, and [Freddy] for Steve, but in the end he became For myself, "I finally feel that I am living for myself, not for my mother, and not for you, Steve."

As he said in that letter -

[My life is full of light because of him, but I also want to live a wonderful life for myself. ]

"So, I wrote that letter." Freddy also thought of the letter he sent to Irene, "Too many comrades-in-arms sacrificed, I don't know when I will die. That letter was indeed written Showing it to you, because I believe that Captain America will survive and I believe you will come back to me. If you believe everything I said in the letter, that's fine, I think you will sincerely bless me, and I can get Happiness can also make you feel at ease. If you don't believe it... I think you will try to find my adopted son, Nick."

Freddy looked at Nick and said with a smile, "Nick will tell you that he knows... Freddy's story."

"You are very calculating." Nick looked at Freddy with a complicated expression.

"I actually didn't expect that I would live that long. You have saved me too many times." Freddy looked at Nick and said in a relaxed tone.

Yes.

Nick also knew that if it wasn't for him, Freddie would have died countless times on the battlefield.

but--

"I should have saved you." The vampire said in a deep voice, but that one miss became a blood thorn in his heart forever.

"I'm very grateful to you, Nick." Freddy said, looking at Nick solemnly, "You not only saved me many times, you also taught me a lot, and I have always trusted you deeply. I did not lie You, every time I go to the battlefield, I don’t hold the idea that I can go back alive. What I said to you before I died, is from the heart.”

Nick's pupils tightened, and he once again clearly recalled that dark rainy day full of bloody smell.

"I don't want to be a vampire who lives forever. I don't need a long time. I think my life is enough to get there. I finally got rid of the inferiority complex and fear in my heart, finally became a new Freddy, and finally achieved my goal. Wish to become a comrade in arms fighting side by side with Steve, and finally be able to die as a proud soldier and to atone for my mother." Freddy said calmly, "I still love Steve deeply, but I have seen him, I have said my last farewell to him, and I have nothing to regret."

"Then why are you still here?" Nick asked unwillingly.

He'd rather hear that Freddie had regrets that made him a ghost than that he had no regrets.

"The witch said she wanted to repay me, but because I have no regrets, so..."

"She chose to fulfill Steve's wish."

Freddy's eyes fell on the blond man and he said softly——

"I'm here because Steve wanted to see me."

Captain America's body was extremely stiff at this moment, and the ghost's words seemed to trigger an unexpected bombing in his body.He thought of the sudden missing at every inadvertent moment, the love mixed between the lines in every letter he sent, and the last painful and helpless regret before the plane crash... he remembered putting it in the bedroom The painting that poured all my thoughts into it.

That is the person he cherishes and protects on the tip of his heart, and it will always be the most beautiful appearance in his mind.

He doesn't think that the paintbrush in his hand can cleverly draw the beauty of his beloved, but every stroke in his hand makes him feel a kind of "closer".

Yes, when [Flora] is in his painting, it seems to be really reflected in his eyes.

He gently touched the lines of every strand of hair, gently watched the light scattered in the clear eyes, and thought deeply about the lover hidden in his heart.

Although he knew in his heart that it might be hopeless, he still wanted to see [Flora]. The huge obstacles of time and distance could not stop his love.

Steve's blue eyes were completely shocked, and an answer he had never thought of appeared in front of his eyes——

So, to fulfill his wish...

[Flora] showed up.

The appearance he missed in his painting appeared before his eyes.

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The author has something to say:

感谢在2021-03-0523：43：06～2021-03-0701：05：02期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦～感谢投出地雷的小天使：冷月1个；

Thanks to the little angel of irrigation nutrient solution: Yueyang, 33184345 bottles; thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!