Absurd Comedy ABO

2017年11月13日15:34发布

"Daydream"

ah!You're finally going to accept my kiss on your mouth, John.good!I want to kiss you now.I will kiss you with my teeth, as if I were biting into fruit.Yes, I'm going to kiss your mouth now...but why don't you look at me, John?In this world, nothing compares to your red lips.Your voice is like a strange fragrance from a furnace, and when I look at you, I hear a special music.ah!Why don't you look at me, John?What should I do now, John?

——"Salome" Oscar Wilde

1. Wedge

He stopped at the door and looked up at the mansion in front of him, which looked like a poster of Downton Abbey.Maybe this is no longer a mansion, this is a manor, the one with forests and lakes, the first time he saw it in reality.He didn't know whether he should be excited or nervous. He actually had the opportunity to come to this kind of place for an interview. If he was selected... no wonder there would be such a high hourly salary.

He was so nervous that his hands and feet were out of coordination.He stood where he was, trying to straighten his clothes and wipe off his sweat, but he stopped as soon as he touched his neckline with his hands.He looked at his suit, which was out of shape because of the three-hour drive, and worried about his own attire.Why didn't I buy a nicer one, why didn't I put the suit in my bag and change it in the bathroom while I waited for the interview, at least it wouldn't make it look so cheap, he thought.In fact, for him, this one is already very advanced.It was the most expensive suit he could afford, custom made.for what?He couldn't remember it anymore.

He checked the time, and he was an hour early, what should he do?Will this honor be kicked out directly?He moved a little anxiously, flicking his legs, but the sole of his shoe accidentally touched the gravel, leaving an arc mark.Stones flew far away, rustling.He took a few more steps, but there was still a rustling sound, like rain.He suddenly remembered a piece of popular science that he had read before, that the gravel road was to prevent assassination, because no one could walk silently on it.

He walked around the house, which was very large and rustled all the way.He suddenly didn't know how to call this house. The mansion and villa seemed to insult it, but the manor should be a whole, including the forest and the lake. You can't call a house a manor, no matter how grand and beautiful it is, it is a manor. incomplete.The manor wouldn't be happy, and neither would the house.In the end he decided to call it a house, with a couple of modifiers at most, beautiful, and he'd never be able to live in it.

His possible behavior finally attracted attention. The house in the poster opened the door, and he walked out thinking that the housekeeper in the poster asked him what he wanted to do.Of course not so rude, even if they scold you, they still say they are smiling, as if they are reciting poetry.The butler in that poster also smiled and asked him, "Sir, may I help you?"

The embarrassment of trying to smooth out the folds of the shirt just now returned, and he felt his face was hot, as if someone had slapped him in the air, and his limbs became even more uncoordinated.He wanted to take out the passport from his pocket to prove that he was not a suspicious person.His arms were busy, but his feet were even more confused, and he almost fell.The butler gave him a hand to save him from making a fool of himself.

He rummaged through all his pockets to find the little pass, which he had printed out himself.The process is to send the resume first, wait for the notification, and print it by yourself when the notification arrives.He even spent twice as much on waterproof paper and color printing.But even so, he regretted it the moment he took it out.The card was squeezed into the corner of the wallet by the coins and folded into a twisted shape.Waterproof paper makes creases more visible.He tried his best to break off the creases, but the moment the card was in the butler's hand, it still bounced back to its original shape.

The butler looked back and forth between the card and him, as if he couldn't believe it, but he still led him in. There was a reception room with three layers of plates on the table, with cake on the bottom and biscuits on top. .As soon as he sat down, a servant brought hot tea and asked him to wait for a while.

He felt a little hungry, but holding a piece of cake was a little too unseemly, so he took a cookie and, wanting to be gentle, ate it in several bites.But the biscuit was too crispy, and it collapsed as soon as he bit it, with a rustling, a large piece fell onto his pants, and the crumbs rolled into the crevice of the sofa.He quickly picked up the big piece, stuffed it into his mouth, and took off the debris on his body.The cookies were dry and sticky in his throat. He washed it with tea and got burned again, but his throat cleared up anyway.

He's frustrated, and it seems like he's been doing stupid things since he arrived.He made up his mind to sit upright during the interview, not to touch anything, not to eat a piece of snack.He just made up his mind, someone called him and asked him to go for an interview.As soon as he stood up, the hidden debris rustled down again.Weird, he thought he cleaned it up.He went to see the servant again with a flushed face, wanting to apologize.The servants are well trained and just smile.That smile made him realize that an apology would be another stupid thing to do, and it was a good thing.

The table in the living room was still the same, with several plates on the third floor.The bottom layer was a cake, and the top layer was a cookie, but a cup of coffee was replaced in front of him.This time he was smart and knew that the best way was to stay still, so he sat up straight and smiled at the woman across from him.

The woman wore a black and white checkered suit, Chanel style.I still understand a little bit, he thought, feeling less uncomfortable.The woman, also of Asian descent, smiled at him and asked questions in English first.Ask him how old he is, why he chose this job, and whether he has any work experience.The questions get asked faster and the grammar gets harder.He was almost overwhelmed, but the woman was very calm, took a sip of coffee, and finally ended with a sentence.

You can speak Chinese, I remember it was written in your resume, she said.

meeting.He said.

How's your Chinese level, hope it's not as bad as your English.

Again he was too embarrassed to speak.

You should have seen the terms of employment, she said.You have to take care of a blind person with a disabled right leg, and high reward means high risk.Can you do it, you say it again in Chinese, why do you want this job.

She was like the dean of high school, he thought.She will look at each class during evening self-study, and if she catches you, she will aggressively reprimand you and ask you if you understand who you want to study for.He was caught once secretly watching videos on his mobile phone during evening self-study.He still remembers that the video is just a piece of news, it seems to be an interview of an outstanding graduate, the name can't be remembered anymore, maybe it can be found now.He felt guilty and didn't dare to play games, so he had to do something related to his studies, but his mobile phone was still confiscated, so he might as well play games from the beginning.I lost my phone because of a piece of news, it's not worth it.

I need money, I don't have money to pay for college, I'm about to be evicted from my landlord, I need to hurry...  

He saw the woman's eyes and changed his mind.

I came here for this job. I prepared for a long time and finally got this opportunity.He said.I was well prepared, I had experience volunteering in a nursing home, winter and summer, every vacation.He emphasized again, every one.

I want to help people, he concluded, and even the hourly wages don't have to be that high.He straightened his back even more when he said this, and even felt a little radiant.But it quickly returned to its original pitiful appearance.

The woman smiled, feeling a little contemptuous.But she didn't let him go out immediately, and barely passed a level.

She asked again, how do you feel about your temper?Are you patient?

He nodded and said that he felt that he was the type of person who was easy to get along with. Easy to get along with was obviously a glorified word. What he really meant was easy to bully and no complaints.

After hearing this, the woman sized him up a few times, and her expression seemed to agree with him.

What gender are you?Second gender, I mean.

I'm Beta, he replied.I refrained from saying that I remembered to attach the scanned version of the certificate to the resume.

Really, the woman smiled again.

It took him a long time to feel a little discomfort, and it took a long time to realize that it was Alpha's pheromone that made him uncomfortable.The woman in front of me is an Alpha.There are many functions of pheromones, such as aphrodisiac, to attract a partner; it can also be simply to exert pressure or delineate a territory, to show one's own ability.

You are indeed a Beta, the woman said.Sorry for being a bit rude just now, but I had to make sure.He should just smile and say it's okay, after all, the family is big and the business is big, so be careful.But occasionally he also wants to play a naysayer, like a barb standing on dry wood, and catch you off guard.

How do you think I'm disguised by an Omega.He said that the barb stood up, but he regretted it when he pierced someone.It would be a great shame if Omega had me like this.He smiled wryly.

The woman didn't notice his emotional ups and downs in a short period of time. She smiled again and said that it was hard work and the interview was over.

Before he could break free from his self-pity, he was interrupted roughly.At first he didn't react, but when he did, he was so ashamed that he just wanted to leave quickly.

The woman confirmed with him again, is this your contact number?Is the address correct?OK, we will let you know the result within a week, please keep the phone open.

He felt that he should not be selected. Intuition, his performance was too bad.Moreover, the hourly salary of this job is two hundred, at least eight hours a day, including food and housing.Many experienced nurses must have been here, and maybe all of them were selected, but they were kind and couldn't bear to drive him back, so it was just a formality.

He thought of this and became depressed again.Standing next to the car, he opened the door but did not get up for a long time.This might be the last time I'll be here, he thought, and decided to turn around and see the beautiful house again.He leaned on the car and twisted his waist, turned a beautiful semicircle, and the soles of his feet were rustling, like dancing a waltz on a rainy night.

He has seen the light-colored wall tiles, from near to far, from high to low, all the way to the farthest window.In front of the French windows a few meters high, there is a faint figure.He couldn't see clearly, the glass glistened in the sun, as if it was the man who was glistening.

I really want to see him up close.

It was his last thought before leaving.