squeamish bag he was reborn

Song Yuan didn't know when he fell asleep, he was very restless, he dreamed of himself and Gu Nian'an in his previous life.

It is not accurate to say that it is a dream. More accurately, it is what happened in the previous life. The scene is also a ward. He watched himself sitting on the side with a fruit knife carefully peeling an apple from a third-person perspective.

Gu Nian'an half leaned on the bed and coughed lightly from time to time. The man was already skinny at that time, his eye sockets were sunken, but his gaze was still gentle.

"It's very powerful, and it didn't stop."

Song Yuan raised his eyes and his complexion was not much better than that of the person on the bed, and his face was not much fleshy. His sharp voice was a little hoarse, "It's broken a little, but I hid it." After he finished speaking, he showed a slight smile Liwo came, cut a small piece of flesh with a knife and handed it to Gu Nian'an's mouth: "I can only eat a little, when you recover, I will peel it for you every day."

"The kind that goes on and on."

Hearing this, Gu Nian'an gave a low laugh and said softly and said nothing, Song Yuan also stuffed a piece into his mouth as if nothing had happened.But both of them knew that his condition was beyond recovery, so there was no future.

It's just self-deception.

"Song Yuan, wait for me...don't be sad." Gu Nian'an said lightly, with a calm face as if he was just sleeping.

Song Yuan in his sleep clutched his heart tightly for this sentence as if he was suffocating, while in his dream he bit his lip and suppressed his emotions before nodding for a long time.

Because of this sentence, the atmosphere in the ward became extremely oppressive. During the days when Gu Nian'an was unconscious, Song Yuan was the same as now, being overwhelmed by intense pain and grief.

Seeing this, Gu Nian'an silently lowered his head to hide his expression, and when the two of them looked at each other, they smiled at the same time. It was what they had agreed to, and when that day really came, the last one left for each other If the facial expression is a smile.

"Song Yuan, have you...have you ever liked someone? I don't think I've ever heard of you." Gu Nian'an changed the topic to a relaxed one, but the hand that was placed aside couldn't help rubbing his fingertips. .

The person being questioned was taken aback for a moment, then shook his head and blushed in embarrassment. He was 27 years old, and people his age had many children. He was still a virgin who still had his first kiss.

Not even a heartbeat.

"However, I have a person who has a deep impression on me. I can't say that I like it. At most, I have some affection and gratitude." Song Yuan seemed to remember something, and the corners of his lips raised a very pleasant arc.

"Really?" Gu Nian'an's voice was a little hoarse, and the expression on his face became difficult, but the next second it was a faint look again.

"Who is he?"

"Actually, I don't know who he is, and I don't know whether the other party looks like a man or a woman, but I guess it's someone who has a crush on me but dare not confess." Song Yuan said with a smile, "I was studying abroad. met in time."

Gu Nian'an's expression paused.

"At that time, I was renting a house alone. It was a small courtyard with a lot of flowers. I liked that kind of yard. In my sophomore year, every time I went back, I would see a bouquet of flowers at the door. "

"And then?" Gu Nian'an's voice was mixed with an indistinct smile.

"Actually, at first I thought it was someone's prank. I thought someone had broken the flowers in my yard." Song Yuan pursed his lips and paused for a while before saying, "It turned out not to be."

"That person has been sent to me for a long time. I really want to know who came back many times in advance just to meet him, but I haven't seen him once. I also wanted to install a surveillance camera, but then I thought that the person probably didn't want me to I know, forget it."

"Did he just send flowers?" Gu Nian'an had a smile on his face, Song Yuan thought he felt childish and retorted in a low voice: "No, they even sent me meals."

“Very typical Chinese food, several of them are packed in beautiful boxes, I can’t remember what they are now, I just remember the taste is very good. But there is a soup that I remember, it’s very delicious, it was my first time outside Eat your favorite home food at once."

"And it was my birthday that he sent me the meal. By the way, he also sent me a small cake."

"Do you think it's a coincidence?" Song Yuan still felt very surprised, if it wasn't for him, he really couldn't think of a possible person who even thought that person knew that it was his birthday that day.

Gu Nian'an didn't answer for a while, with a smile on his face but mixed feelings in his heart, it took a long time before Song Yuan heard him say: "It's a coincidence."

"However, he never appeared again after that." Song Yuan said with some regret, although they had never met each other, but for him this was a very beautiful and precious memory in a foreign country.

"Maybe you've already met him?" Gu Nian'an said softly, but his tone was a little sad.

"Maybe."

The ward became quiet, and the scene in the dream remained unchanged, except that he changed his clothes, and Gu Nian'an looked even worse.

Song Yuan just closed his eyes and looked at the two people who seemed to be separated by a century, the tears had silently flowed down into the cochlea, wet and cool, suddenly there was an illusion of tinnitus.However, in such a situation, he heard himself say a word at that time——

He said, "Mr. Gu, we are just friends, right?"

"Well, it's a friend."

He had never said this sentence in his previous life, Song Yuan was dumbfounded for a moment, maybe the scene was too real, he really thought that he had said it, not a fantasy in a dream.

He wondered vaguely, did this dream mean that Gu Nian'an wanted him to know that they were just friends from the beginning to the end?Is it a reminder for him?Song Yuan knew that this idea was outrageous, but he still couldn't help thinking about it.

His heart was cold, but his body became hot, and his whole body became hot. After the unbearable heat passed, he shivered again.He still couldn't open his eyes, and could only instinctively groan in pain.

I don't know how long it took for him to be embraced by a familiar warm embrace. He felt someone calling his name in a low voice. The warm wrist touched his hot forehead and felt very comfortable. His whole body seemed to be submerged in water, subconsciously Drill into people's arms.

To make myself more comfortable.

He heard the man ring the bedside bell, and then gently patted him to wake him up. Song Yuan struggled for a long time in a daze before he opened his eyelids. What caught his eyes was that he was still in his dream just now. s face.

His heart was filled to the brim all of a sudden, he stretched out his arms to hug the person in front of him regardless of the still faintly aching wound on his body, and let out a cry full of love and attachment.

"Mr. Gu."

He felt that the person in his arms froze for a long time without hearing a response, and a strong sense of grievance suddenly rose in his heart: "Nian'an..."

"Why are you ignoring me?"

People with a high fever have a hot breath, and there is a slight nasal voice that is not sober, and the words of grievance sound extremely pitiful, but it is not like complaining, but like coquettishness.

It's just that he recognized the wrong person, Shen Qiyou was suddenly poured by a basin of cold water, he felt that his blood was cold, and he shivered.

He can't even lie to himself now.

"Nian'an?" The person in his arms was still ignorant, and was still calling his name, each sound more aggrieved and disturbed.

In the end, he even began to cry: "Mr. Gu, it's because of me... I fell in love with you... Did you ignore me?"

It took what seemed like a century before he heard a hoarse and disfigured voice, his Mr. Gu said, "Well, I'm here."

"...I didn't ignore you."

When Song Yuan woke up the next day, it was almost ten o'clock, and his brother was peeling an apple. He saw the flickering image of the peeling apple, but when he thought about it carefully, he found it was blank.

He looked around the room but didn't see the person he wanted to see. The bed beside him was stacked neatly. He looked at his brother anxiously: "Brother, where is Shen Qiyou?"

"He went back after taking the medicine. He said something happened."

Song Ting frowned and said, thinking that he was still a little worried when he saw the other party's expression in the morning. The child seemed to be suffering from some serious illness, and he was completely defeated.

"He returned it—" Song Yuan was so anxious that he picked up his mobile phone and dialed Shen Qiyou's number, but after ringing for a long time, it still showed that no one answered.

Song Ting sighed: "Yuan Yuan, don't worry, I have persuaded him. But he insisted on leaving, there must be something urgent, his injury is on his hand, just take the medicine on time. Don't worry too much .And I have already said hello to the school. In special circumstances, you two don’t have to go anymore.”

Song Yuan pursed his lips and nodded, but felt very uneasy in his heart, Shen Qiyou would not leave without saying hello to him for no reason.

This point was verified after he returned home. After the school event, there was a three-day holiday that continued with the weekend. Song Yuan sent many messages to Shen Qiyou, and the other party replied seriously every time, but when he When offered to go to him, he refused.

He said that he was not free now, but his hand was injured and he couldn't go to work. Why did he suddenly have no time? Song Yuan didn't know what was wrong with him and was worried about his hand, feeling even more anxious.

When he sneaked out to look for Shen Qiyou, he found that the other party was really not at home. He waited at the door for a long time but didn't see anyone coming. The latest text message displayed on his mobile phone was - something is inconvenient to see now.

Song Yuan walked with his head down in the alley where he and Shen Qiyou came together, and couldn't hold back the red eyes. Although Shen Qiyou told him the reason, he instinctively felt that he was avoiding him.

Song Yuan didn't know that when he liked him, Song Yuan would feel sad and uneasy about this matter. Now that his identity has changed, besides this, he has more unspeakable grievances and sourness in his heart.

He wondered if what he said that night made Shen Qiyou aware of his feelings for him, so he avoided him.

He couldn't think of any other reason besides this.

Walking on the road, he desperately told himself not to think too much, even if Shen Qiyou found out that he couldn't accept it, then he would return to his friend's position, if it still didn't work, he... could leave.

But after meeting this person at school, Song Yuan only missed and felt wronged.

The tall boy stood silently, like a thin and fragile wall.

"Shen Qiyou..." He called out his name, he wanted to say why he made himself like this in only three days, but he couldn't say anything when he saw the black and tired under his eyes.

"Is the matter resolved?"

Shen Qiyou hummed, he didn't lie to Song Yuan, he really had something to do, he didn't miss him on purpose.He wanted to explain, but when he looked at the boy's side face, he suddenly realized a cruel fact.

unnecessary.

There is no need to say some things in the future.

He probably didn't want to know that much.

From that day on, Song Yuan felt that there was an invisible barrier between him and Shen Qiyou, although on the surface they looked the same as usual.

Shen Qiyou still would not refuse his request, and answered his words obediently.They got up together, went to class together, and ate together. Even if Song Yuan accidentally soaked the sheets, he would silently change them to new ones. Even when he proposed that the two of them sleep together, there was no difference.

The only change is that he has become less and less talkative, even less than when they first met, and his mood swings have become zero again.

That night Song Yuan slept on the newly changed sheets and suffered from insomnia for a long time.

Shen Qiyou shouldn't treat him like this, and it shouldn't be like this between them.He could feel the door he had opened bit by bit being closed again without leaving a gap.

He was blocked from the door by Shen Qiyou.

The person inside the door is playing the role of a friend conscientiously.He no longer has problems that make Song Yuan dumbfounded, nor does he have the emotional ups and downs that only happen to him.

Like an emotionless AI.

The lights-off bell rang as usual, Song Yuan looked at the person who silently turned on the small flashlight for him, and the sudden soreness in his heart was about to overwhelm him. He couldn't take it anymore, even if it would pierce the last film, he didn't want to be like this with him anymore.

"Shen Qiyou."

"Um...I'm here."

"Well, did I say anything weird to you?"

"that is--"

"No."

Before he could finish speaking, he was interrupted decisively. Shen Qiyou's voice was very soft but not sloppy at all.

Song Yuan couldn't say what he said next, and silently retracted into the quilt.

He didn't know how many times he had insomnia tonight, and when the sound of Shen Qiyou getting out of bed came, he immediately closed his eyes.Then he felt that this person looked at him silently for a while and then went out.

Song Yuan turned over and covered his head with a quilt. For some reason, his eyes were sour because of Shen Qiyou's silent gaze, and the tears couldn't stop flowing down.

After calming down, he also went out. He probably knew where this person had gone.

Shen Qiyou went to the rooftop, so he can only go to this place at this point.

At one o'clock in the morning, there was no one on the rooftop. He sat behind a partition and was lost in thought.He thought about it a lot, but every time Song Yuan's tearful face would appear in the final picture.

He held back his tears again, but he no longer had the position to tell him that he could cry.

The reason why he came out was very simple, he was afraid that if he didn't come out and continue to stay in the same space with Song Yuan, he would lose control and want to hug this person.

He might even make a crazy confession.

The result is naturally rejection, and it will scare him.

Then, he will never appear in Song Yuan's life again.

This is a hundred times more uncomfortable than hearing that name from Song Yuan's mouth.

He thought, in fact, Song Yuan had told him from the beginning, and he called Gu Nian'an's name from the beginning.The person he was looking for was not him, those good things to him, those unreasonable tolerance and connivance, those words he once said to him, those careful cherishing and dependence, were all covered in another shadow.

The person Song Yuan called Mr. Gu.

How can someone follow him and want to be friends with him for the first time, facing a boring person like him?

Because Song Yuan treated him as someone else, that's why he treated him so well. This is a reasonable truth.

He's never been that person, he's just a...substitute who gets preferential treatment because of a skin.

Because he is not strictly a stand-in, he thought of Song Yuan's words of liking, the words of liking he said to Mr. Gu, and he felt as if someone had dug a big hole in his heart, pouring wind into it, piercing his heart the pain.

He only regards him as a friend, not someone he likes, and it's clear that he doesn't even have the chance to be that person's substitute.

His most suitable identity is that of a thief, and he is complacent about stealing everything Song Yuan gave to that person, but the saddest thing is that he is still deeply involved in it.

He thought of his mother, the gentle woman who gave birth to him, cared for him carefully and grew up, yelling hysterically after a sudden accident, why it wasn't him who died.

The nominal father would only shirk responsibility over and over again. It's not that he didn't give him a chance, but he always hesitated to speak, with the appearance of concealing his difficulties and deep hatred.

Shen Qiyou thought, no one cares about him.

But what about Song Yuan?Could he have had those few moments when he thought it was Shen Qiyou.

He didn't even dare to think deeply.

There was a strange noise behind him, but he didn't pay attention to it. He only looked back when the noise got louder and louder. It was empty and there was no one there.

After a pause, he thought of something, stood up and walked to the other side of the partition, the boy squatting on the ground subconsciously looked up at him, the corners of his eyes were red.

Seeing Shen Qiyou's first reaction was that he couldn't hide the joy from the bottom of his heart, but it was followed by a heart full of sourness.

He squatted down and said lightly: "Why did you come up?"

"Why didn't you call me?"

Song Yuan lowered his head again and whispered in a low voice: "I came to look for you, what about you? Why did you come up?"

Shen Qiyou paused before saying: "Look at the stars."

Song Yuan subconsciously raised his eyes and glanced at the few stars in the night sky that were emitting dim light, and he pursed his lips, feeling even more aggrieved, saying that he didn't want to stay with him when he looked at the stars.

"Then I'll watch it with you."

"I won't watch it today, it's late." Shen Qiyou stretched out his hand to pull him up. Song Yuan held the hand that still had a small scar and didn't let go, and pulled him to the place where he was just now. place to do.

"I want to see. Don't refuse me, Shen Qiyou." Song Yuan didn't look at people when he spoke, but he knew that he would not refuse him.

The two of them just looked at the few stars, and no one spoke.It was only when Shen Qiyou was touched on the shoulder that he realized that Song Yuan had fallen asleep leaning against him at some point.

The boy's sleeping appearance was very cute, Shen Qiyou stared at it for a while, and his heart softened uncontrollably.

He didn't wake him up, and directly hugged him in his arms, while the sleeping person subconsciously hugged his neck.

Shen Qiyou walked up the stairs carefully step by step with the person in his arms, and noticed something strange when he just went down the first floor.

Song Yuan cried.

Hot and humid tears soon soaked the cloth on his chest, Shen Qiyou stopped moving, and there was moisture in his eyes.

The lights in the corridor were very dim, Song Yuan looked at him with those beautiful tearful eyes, the intense sadness inside made it impossible for Shen Qiyou to escape, he could only watch him weep silently like masochistic.

The young man's voice was aggrieved and frightened: "Shen Qiyou, do you want me anymore..."

The author has something to say:

Actually, Xiao Shen did fall asleep