deep blue

It wasn't Meng Yinan's illusion, Mu Zhanxi had really become cold.

After that night, Meng Yinan felt this way for two consecutive days.

Mu Zhanxi was still the same when he was outside, with few words and no enthusiasm. During the trip, he followed Meng Yinan and Fu Yun all the time, walking in silence.

In comparison, Meng Yinan was actually a little better. He carried Meng Yinan's backpack all the time, reminded him to put on sunscreen in the morning, and talked to Meng Yinan normally. The itinerary was always the same...

Grass, what kind of shit is this better?

Who can't carry a bag?

With such a big sun, everyone should mention sunscreen, right? !

Besides, if you don't speak, and the itinerary is inconsistent, then what's the matter? !

At noon on the fourth day of the trip, Meng Yinan squatted under the shadow of a certain tree, thinking with some resentment, it was never like this before!

In the past, Mu Zhanxi could pull Meng Yinan's hands when he walked, and he would rub Meng Yinan's head once a day. When he had braids, he would help him pull out the hair that was suppressed by the collar, and he would trim the broken hair around his ears. He will buy delicious food for Meng Yinan, and when Meng Yinan doesn't eat, he will hold it in his hand without complaint. He will also call him "Yinan" in a nice voice, and smile lightly after Meng Yinan says something interesting.

What now?

Now it’s just a moving iceberg. Not only was he cold, but he also said to Meng Yinan who was close to him, “Don’t do this in the future.” Meng Yinan didn’t sleep well that night. After being sluggish for a full 48 hours, I started to get angry last night.

Isn't it just not getting close or sticking?Don't you just stay away from him?

What an amazing thing.

Do you think Meng Yinan can't help it?

Meng Yinan thought angrily, don't get close if you don't get close, I'm still angry.

The kind that can't be coaxed well.

Today they went to a small island nearby.

The island is not big, and there are some scenic spots with local characteristics. Because of the coast, there are many marine projects near the beach.

Cao Xicheng, as the organizer of this trip, has been busy all the time, like a background board of hard work, appearing behind the crowd from time to time.

It wasn't until he went to the island for free activities that he finally took a break and joined Mu Zhanxi's small team.

At this time, they had just finished their meal, and the group was going to play on the beach not far from the hotel, but Meng Yinan said that he needed to go to the bathroom after eating.

He walked along the road, went to the bathroom and only washed his hands, and then squatted under a tree nearby where the wind was a bit cooler.

He thought about the details of the past few days for a long time, felt wronged and angry at times, but finally felt empty and boring.

I'm not in the mood to go shopping anymore, I'm a little tired, and I don't want to play with everyone.I want to sneak away now, run back to the hotel first, then go to the airport, fly back to Lincheng, and go home.

All his thoughts now are thanks to Mu Zhanxi. What Mu Zhanxi said that day and his attitude these days are the main reasons for Meng Yinan's sadness and anger.

Meng Yinan didn't know what he was thinking at all, and where did he provoke him, and he couldn't figure it out after thinking about it for so many days.

Although it was really sad to be sad, and really angry to be angry, but because I couldn't grab Mu Zhanxi by the collar and quarrel with him, being angry was meaningless.

It's like hitting cotton with a punch. It's not elastic, and it doesn't hit hard enough. When the hand is retracted, there is a layer of fluff and small thorns in the cotton, which hurts him so much.

Meng Yinan squatted under the tree for a while, his legs became numb after squatting for a long time, so he simply sat back and sat directly on the ground.

This is a deserted corner, through the lush vegetation, the beach can be seen faintly.

The ocean looks so vast, the sea and the sky are the same color, but those are far away from the south of Meng.

In fact, Meng Yinan thought so much, and he wouldn't really leave on his own.

Although there are various reasons, such as not really throwing face at Mu Zhanxi, not embarrassing Cao Xicheng, not making the supposedly happy trip a disappointment... But apart from these, the most essential reason is that Meng Yinan doesn't really have a home of his own.

He used to think that Mu's house was a very good place, and it would be great if he could stay.

But in fact the Mu family did not accept him, only Mu Zhanxi accepted him.

He still couldn't get rid of his identity as Meng Du's son. The owner of the Mu family was Mu Zhong, and Meng Yinan was taken in only because he was Meng Du's appendage.And as he became estranged from Meng Du, Meng Yinan realized more and more clearly that he had no roots.

Just imagine, Meng Yinan is the only one in the world who is alone and has no deep connection with everyone. It is a pitiful thing to be an isolated island.

As for Mu Zhanxi, no matter how much Meng Yinan relied on this brother and liked him, their relationship was only based on the Mu family and Meng Du.

Meng Yinan left Mengdu, in other words, he didn't want to be Mu Zhanxi's younger brother.

Their relationship, for better or worse, is shallow.As long as there is no contact for half a year or a year, many acquaintances now will be strangers in the future.

Meng Yinan didn't have to wait until this embarrassing moment of cold war quarrel to realize it. He understood this a long time ago, but he never wanted to think about it.

Meng Yinan didn't know how long he had been sitting here, his phone was turned off and he put it in his pocket, and he didn't want to take it out.

In the end, he lay down on the grass, regardless of whether it was dirty or not, and looked up at the sky blocked by the leaves.

It's so boring.he thinks.

Everything was meaningless, and Meng Yinan himself was meaningless.

He was abandoned from the very beginning, picked up by Meng Du, experienced being unloved, accepted by Mu Zhanxi, and favored... It was like a cycle.

He has received enough favors from Mu Zhanxi, it's time to remember that this so-called love, care, and care have boundaries.

So, has he reached the so-called limit now?Are you about to experience such terrible things as disillusionment and disappearance of liking?

In fact, it should be.

After the summer vacation, Mu Zhanxi will go to school, go to other cities, and meet other people.

What Fu Yun said was correct, there would be an endless stream of new admirers around Mu Zhanxi.

There are so many people, beautiful, cute, smart, kind, brave, hardworking... There will be every kind of people, and there will always be a lucky one who will be seen by Mu Zhanxi and loved by him.

At that time, it will have nothing to do with Meng Yinan.

so tired.Meng Yinan said in his heart.

Thinking about these things is really tiring and tiring, and I really want to disappear.

He has grown up to this age, and his wish today is to be liked, to be loved forever, not to be temporarily loved, not to be taken back.

Why is it so difficult just like this?

Meng Yinan didn't know how long he lay there, thinking about these messy things all the time.

Probably when he was about to fall asleep, he suddenly heard someone calling him: "Meng Yinan?"

Meng Yinan heard the sound and looked, but saw Xiao Zhou standing on the side road with his eyes wide open.

"You, why are you sleeping here?" Xiao Zhou showed an expression that he didn't know whether it was surprise or amused. What's the matter, I'm looking for you now."

Xiao Zhou said, "Fortunately, I found it", and took out his mobile phone, wondering if he had sent something in the small group of several people.

Only then did Meng Yinan take out his phone, and saw a lot of messages and missed calls in it, of course most of them were from Mu Zhanxi, Meng Yinan's mood suddenly improved a little, and he wasn't so sad anymore.

I'm so coaxed.Meng Yinan thought, making a few phone calls won't be hard.strangeness.

Meng Yinan stood up, patted the grass clippings on his body, and said to Xiao Zhou, "I'm sorry, have you been looking for me for a long time? I just sat down after walking and fell asleep unexpectedly."

Xiao Zhou smiled and said, "It's okay, as long as you find it. Let's go back first."

He has become a little familiar with Meng Yinan in the past two days, and his words are not as unfamiliar as the first day: "You too, why do you sleep while lying on the ground? After walking a few more steps, you will go back to the beach and sleep on the deck chair That's good."

Meng Yinan nodded, and said calmly, "Yeah, you're right."

Besides Mu Zhanxi, there was another reason why Meng Yinan didn't want to go with everyone, and that was Xiao Zhou.

Meng Yinan's life these days is relatively simple, one is to observe what's wrong with Mu Zhanxi, and the other is to observe what's wrong with Xiao Zhou.

Because ever since Xiao Zhou suddenly grabbed Meng Yinan's arm that day, this man has basically been circling around Meng Yinan all day long.

Separate Meng Yinan and Fu Yun far away, regardless of whether they are just acquaintances, and they are not polite to Fu Yun at all. When Fu Yun came to talk to Meng Yinan, he also stood by the side without winking. leave.

Those who didn't know thought he fell in love with Meng Yinan at first sight.

It puts a lot of pressure on Meng Yinan.

In fact, in the past few days, after Meng Yinan's observation, he has also gained something.

For example, Xiao Zhou didn't fall in love with Meng Yinan, but somehow misunderstood Fu Yun and Mu Zhanxi and thought they should be together.

In fact, the process of this discovery cannot be said to have been discovered by Meng Yinan, but Xiao Zhou's self-explosion.

Probably the night before yesterday, they ate at the night market on the street 15 minutes away from the hotel. After eating, Xiao Zhou slowed down and walked with Meng Yinan.

After rambling and talking, Xiao Zhou suddenly pointed to the person in front of him and said, "Don't you think they are a good match?"

Meng Yinan almost blurted out: "I don't think so."

Xiao Zhou was stunned for a moment, and then said: "Well, but I think it's a good match."

Meng Yinan didn't turn the corner at that time, wondering if Xiao Zhou was a thousand degrees shortsighted, how could he tell that Mu Zhanxi and Fu Yun were so compatible?

Didn't you see that recently Fu Yun didn't bother to pay attention to Mu Zhanxi every time he talked, and didn't you see that Fu Yun kept looking down at his phone?

Although Xiao Zhou couldn't tell that Fu Yun was sending a message to Meng Yinan, he could at least know that the two of them didn't care about each other, so how could they come up with such absurd associations?

After getting along for a few more days, Meng Yinan finally knew what kind of great mood Xiao Zhou was traveling with.

This person didn't know how he saw that Mu Zhanxi liked shipping, so he decided to give up his love and pave the way for the person he liked.

Then I don't know why I feel that Fu Yun loves Meng Yinan to death, so he wants to get involved in the "little couple" who were originally "enchanted and loving".

...It's really magical.

Meng Yinan thought to herself, even TV dramas dare not act like this.

All in all, Meng Yinan has not rejected Xiao Zhou's contact so far, and explained it clearly to him because Xiao Zhou will not pester Mu Zhanxi anymore.

Fu Yun and Mu Zhanxi are better together than Xiao Zhou.

Meng Yinan didn't care too much.

It can also be regarded as indirectly completing the task of "don't want them to be alone" at the time of delivery.

Since Xiao Zhou had already posted the news of finding Meng Yinan in the group, the two of them walked towards where everyone was without any hesitation.

After walking a few steps, Xiao Zhou suddenly stopped Meng Yinan and asked him to wait.

Meng Yinan stopped: "What's wrong?"

Xiao Zhou took two steps forward to follow him, and patted behind him: "There are leaves on your clothes, ah, okay, I'll help you get them off."

Xiao Zhou is actually quite warm-hearted. If he doesn't like Mu Zhanxi, Meng Yinan thinks it's fine for them to be friends.

Meng Yinan said thank you to him, but before he could say thank you, he saw Mu Zhanxi standing not far away, looking at the two of them.

Although their recent relationship is not quite right, the awkwardness in a short period of time is not as good as the long time they have been together before.

Meng Yinan was in a bad mood almost at the time, thinking that Mu Zhanxi would come to ask the teacher why he didn't answer the phone and disappeared again.

But at that time, Mu Zhanxi just stood there, waiting for Meng Yinan and the others to pass by, and did not take any punitive actions against Meng Yinan, but walked wordlessly not far from Meng Yinan , went to the beach together.

Of course, his appearance was a little more indifferent than usual.

According to Meng Yinan's observations, Mu Zhanxi might not be having a good time during the cold war, and continued to emit low pressure, but he didn't say anything, and Meng Yinan didn't know how to change the status quo, so the two remained at a stalemate.

Mu Zhanxi finally mentioned this matter when they returned to the hotel room at night, when both of them had showered and were leaning on the bedside to check their respective mobile phones.

Call Meng Yinan's name and ask him where he went during the day.

At that time, Meng Yinan pretended to be looking at his mobile phone while secretly paying attention to Mu Zhanxi's movements, but because he was too concentrated on peeking, he couldn't react for a while when he heard his words, so he was stunned for a while and asked him: "What do you mean?" What?"

Mu Zhanxi's expression froze, and he slowly repeated after a while: "Why don't you answer the phone during the day? Didn't I say it before..."

Perhaps it was because Meng Yinan suddenly lifted the quilt and sat up, Mu Zhanxi stopped here halfway.

Meng Yinan said, "I thought you wouldn't ask."

Mu Zhanxi didn't say anything more.

There was only the sound of the air conditioner in the room, and the unbearable stagnant atmosphere reappeared, as if invisible colloids filled the entire space. No matter breathing or talking, those colloids would enter the human body along the mouth and nose, killing the whole person. To suffocate, to suffocate.

"Didn't you say don't let me get close to you?" Meng Yinan broke the silence first.

Mu Zhanxi looked at him and replied, his voice was hoarse for some reason: "I didn't say not to let you approach."

"But not close together, not very close to you, isn't that what it means?" Meng Yinan asked sincerely, "What's the difference?"

Mu Zhanxi couldn't tell the difference, or maybe he didn't know which ones were allowed to approach and which ones weren't—he hadn't come up with this standard yet.

"If you don't get close, it should mean the same thing as keeping a distance," Meng Yinan interpreted in depth again, and observed Mu Zhanxi's expression, "If you keep a distance from me, it doesn't matter if I answer the phone or not. news?"

After finishing speaking, Meng Yinan's eye circles turned sour for a while, and his heart was like a lump of mud. When he stepped on it, a small puddle formed, which could not be recovered. The puddle was full of acid water, which gradually corroded him.If you step on it a few more times, the whole person will be full of potholes, and in the end it will be full of holes.

But he thinks he is right, or it is best to talk like this.

He didn't want to be kept at a distance for no apparent reason, to be discarded.

If the puppy is homeless again, he must also know why he was kicked out of the house, right?

At such a time, no puppy would keep silent and willingly be kicked with its tail between its legs.

Meng Yinan waited and saw that Mu Zhanxi didn't speak, and then said again: "In the future, you will also be like this, continue to control me while fighting coldly?"

It was probably because his words were too straightforward, before Meng Yinan finished speaking, Meng Yinan saw Mu Zhanxi clenched his teeth, probably very hard, and the muscles on his cheeks even twitched slightly.

His complexion was not good either, as if Meng Yinan's words had hit the core part, and he lost all strength and fell into a deep valley.

It may have been a while, and it may have been a long time.

Mu Zhanxi called Meng Yinan's name slowly, his voice was low and hoarse, but it fell like a piece of light paper in the empty room: "If you don't want to, I won't care about you."

It was this sentence, Meng Yinan's head suddenly buzzed, the blood in his whole body seemed to rush to his head, and he couldn't see or hear clearly in an instant, the sadness and anger that had been accumulated for several days passed like a dark wind, Surround him all around.

When Meng Yinan came back to his senses, he had already got up, went from his own bed to Mu Zhanxi's bed, and sat on Mu Zhanxi's body through the quilt, bent down to support the head of the bed with one hand, and tightly held his waist with the other. collar.

If I remember correctly, the clothes Mu Zhanxi was wearing were the big little dinosaur pajamas at that time, and Meng Yinan also wore them, because at the beginning Mu Zhanxi would put the clothes in their pockets according to the colors of the little dinosaurs. In the cabinet, but later it got mixed up and I couldn't tell the difference.

"What do you mean—leave me alone?" Heavy breathing sounded in the room, and Meng Yinan seemed to be about to cry at the end of the sentence.

Meng Yinan really didn't expect this to happen.

He thought that Mu Zhanxi was just angry, because of some small details that Meng Yinan didn't notice, he was very angry and wanted to snub Meng Yinan for a few days.

Although he didn't know why and thought about it a lot, Meng Yinan was also very obedient, obediently being cold for two days, and didn't ask him why.

Shouldn't this be the result?

So, in fact, this was the intention from the beginning. From the beginning, he was ready to snub Meng Yinan, to abandon him, and kicked him away, so that Meng Yinan would not come close.

Because I don't like it anymore and find it annoying, I want Meng Yinan to leave, so I don't care.

--is that so?

Mu Zhanxi looked at him, his eyes were very dark, and due to the light at the head of the bed, his pupils turned a light amber color: "literally, if you don't want to be restrained, I won't force you."

So what do I think?If you want to be restrained, do you still care?

Meng Yinan thought.

But he didn't say it, he just asked, "What did I do wrong?"

"Yesterday, the day before yesterday, and the night before yesterday, you didn't pay much attention to me. What did I do wrong?"

Mu Zhanxi said, "You're right."

"Liar," Meng Yinan pursed his lips together, becoming a line of stubbornness, "If you're right, why don't you like me and don't want me anymore."

Speaking of liking, Meng Yinan remembered the joke not long ago.

At that time, the division had just ended, and Mu Zhanxi obviously attached great importance to him. During the division, he stayed with him in the hospital bed and made him whatever he wanted to eat. Didn't you deny it?

Didn't you say "You're wrong, I don't like it"?

After confronting each other like this for a while, Mu Zhanxi seemed to sigh, took a step back and asked him, "You're angry, are you going to beat me up?"

Meng Yinan froze for a moment, only to realize that his actions seemed to have gone too far.

He calmed down a little, and slowly let go of his hand, because the grip was so tight, his knuckles seemed to be clenched stiff when he let go, and his movements became slow.

"I won't hit you." Meng Yinan said, as if he had let go of his strength, like a deflated balloon, still sitting on Mu Zhanxi's body, but the stinging energy had subsided a lot.

After he cut his hair, he looked more and more like a mature Alpha. He had been wearing neck stickers for the past few days due to travel, mainly to prevent the glands from being disturbed and affecting the healing of the wound that had just undergone surgery.

Alpha has a strong ability to control pheromones. Because there is no estrus/estrus period like Omega, and the number of susceptible periods is very small, most of the time pheromones will not be released on a large scale.

But Meng Yinan's mood fluctuated too much just now, and he was a little A who had just split up, so he could hardly control it, and the strong smell of cold alcohol quickly spread in the room.

His pheromone is of the aggressive type, with a cold smell of alcohol, and after it diffuses, because of its high concentration, it almost makes the people in the same room and himself slightly dizzy.

But Meng Yinan didn't realize this, he was already dizzy with anger.

Because of the restraint of emotions, the pheromone also restrained a little. Meng Yinan sat on Mu Zhanxi, calmed down a little, looked at him, and asked slowly: "If I am not wrong, why?"

Mu Zhanxi seemed to have something to say, but his lips moved, but he didn't say it.

Meng Yinan was really annoyed by recent events, and he poured out all his troubles like beans.

Tell Mu Zhanxi one sentence at a time——

"I really hate differentiation, and then it differentiated. I don't like Alpha very much, but it still differentiates."

"After the division, I have to make up lessons and do a lot of homework. I also want to go out to play, but I still have to study."

"Fu Yun told me every day that you were going to college. It's not that I didn't know that you were going to go to college, but wouldn't you be my brother after you went to college? Do I have to talk about it every day so sad? Don't tell me you won't go to college after you go to college? Remember me?"

"And you can also take a car or a plane. If you go out of town, can I go find you? Will you welcome me?"

"There is also travel, I am not happy now, I have been very sad these two days," he repeated, and tears fell because of being too wronged, "Why do you still let me leave you when I do everything well? farther away."

"Don't you also like me? I said that my brother likes me the most, but you didn't refute it..."

"Just because I'm obedient, you hurt me at will?"

"Then why did you treat me well in the first place? Just leave Meng Yinan alone. I won't call you brother either. I'll leave after I'm admitted to university. I won't stay at home at all."

The more Meng Yinan said, the more sad he became, and finally he didn't know what he was talking about.

It was true that he couldn't speak anymore, he gasped for breath and cried so hard that he couldn't speak a word.

And Mu Zhanxi seemed to be in a daze all the time. He stared at Meng Yinan in a daze from the moment he cried and complained. After a long time, he said shyly, "I'm not going to abandon you."

He raised his hand to wipe Meng Yinan's tears, his movements were gentle, as if he was afraid of hurting him even if he was a little heavy.After waiting for a while, he slowly said, "Meng Yinan, I like you."

"It's not to make you stay away from me, but I think, is it because you are always at home, the circle is too small, and you have never been in contact with Omega, so you get so close to them when you come out this time."

"If you like Omega, then we shouldn't always do things that cross the line. As your brother, I still protect you, but resist liking."

"But I thought you wouldn't be so sad."

Meng Yinan listened, her eyes still red.

"I didn't tell you that I didn't treat you as my younger brother from a certain day," Mu Zhanxi didn't know why he said "resist liking" or wanted to confess again, and still told him, "I like it very much. You, no matter Omega or Alpha, I like it very much."

For a moment, Meng Yinan's brain froze and he felt light.

Then he was actually not thinking about the liking that Mu Zhanxi said later, but thinking, if this is the case, what kind of mood would Mu Zhanxi say to him that day, "Hug, lie together, don't do these things again." Do".

Because he thought that Meng Yinan liked Omega and would not choose the more difficult Alpha, he had to start with himself and cut off the ambiguity, hoping that Meng Yinan would not go astray and not get so close to Alpha because of innocence and dependence.

Fool.

There is no such fool in the world.

But Meng Yinan liked it very much.

In the whole world, Meng Yinan couldn't find another person who was gentle and upright, who treated him so well and was so bad.

He was sobbing, his emotions were a bit too much, so he couldn't say anything, but he was eager to express, and wanted to tell Mu Zhanxi that he liked it too, so he suddenly stretched out his hands and grabbed Mu Zhanxi's collar with both hands.

It's just that this time the movement was light and slow, not so fierce anymore, he pinched the edge of the collar a little nervously, then slowly bent down, closed his eyes recklessly and piously, and lowered his head.

Under the dim light, she knelt on his brother's waist and kissed him.