deep blue

Mu Ting quickly delivered Fuyun and Meng Yinan to the gates of their respective communities.

Before leaving, he told Meng Yinan that he might go back late tonight, and asked Meng Yinan to go to bed early after finishing his homework, so that his elder brother could get up early tomorrow to send him to school.

Whether it looks or sounds, Mu Ting and his words are very considerate of the big brother, as if Meng Yinan is his own younger brother, and he deserves the affection and care of his siblings.

Meng Yinan hadn't seen Mu Ting for a while, and after hearing these words, he also felt a little moved in this cold winter day, and was about to nod his head in response to say something, when his considerate elder brother closed the car window and kicked Throttle off.

Meng Yinan: "..."

Fuck his thoughtfulness.

In the car exhaust mixed with the dry cold wind and the smell of gasoline, Meng Yinan sneezed three times in a row, then touched his nose, took out his mobile phone, and talked to Mu Zhanxi to tell Mu Zhanxi about the situation, while walking home.

When Mu Zhanxi received the news from Meng Yinan, he was in the library.

The holiday was approaching, and he had finished his exams in the past few days, so he had nothing to do in the afternoon, so he was relatively free. After eating, he found a quiet place to read and study.

Reading, studying, attending classes...Mu Zhanxi's daily life is all about these things. He doesn't have rich social activities, nor is he keen on any fashion trends. He doesn't have dinner with friends all day long, or go to nightclubs and bars.

Years are like a day.

It stands to reason that this is the mode and state of life that Mu Zhanxi is most familiar with.

However, he has recently developed a not-so-good habit, that is, there is always a period of time in the afternoon where he has difficulty concentrating, and cannot settle down to study as usual.

When reading a book, I can’t help being distracted and subconsciously looking at the time. I know every word in the book, but I don’t know what it means when I put it together. No word can enter my brain. I can’t accept it when I force myself to read it many times. and process the information therein.

Calling this a "bad habit" is actually wrong, because it's not a habit, but rather some kind of weird biological clock, and one of the above symptoms will appear as soon as the time comes.

At first, Mu Zhanxi thought it was because he was not used to college life, and his body protested every afternoon, trying to tell him "you need to rest after studying for a day".

But then I felt otherwise.

Because he didn't feel sleepy when he went to rest, he was very energetic in bed, and couldn't fall asleep even after tossing and turning.

Moreover, the occurrence time of this symptom is very regular, not completely according to the "biological clock".

For example, from Monday to Friday, he would have symptoms at eight or nine in the afternoon, on Saturdays at five or six, and on Sundays, no matter whether he slept at noon or not, he would not feel tired or drowsy after finishing the call with Meng Yinan in the afternoon, nor would he feel tired. Can't concentrate.

After discovering the difference in this time point, Mu Zhanxi looked for the pattern and immediately understood where the problem was.

The answer is simple and self-evident, "Meng Yinan" can be summed up in three words.

It wasn't that Mu Zhanxi was too busy and too tired to bear it, but subconsciously told him, "Meng Yinan is about to leave school, please prepare in advance and don't miss calls or messages."

Let Mu Zhanxi's body not be controlled by reason and brain, and when the time comes, he will be distracted and start waiting for news from Meng Yinan.

After figuring this out, Mu Zhanxi felt a little outrageous.

This phenomenon seems very abnormal. I haven't seen anyone in a relationship like this, right?

Even Meng Yinan himself didn't wait to chat with Mu Zhanxi at a fixed time every day, and he wouldn't start to miss him half an hour to an hour before school ended, so that he was absent-minded in everything he did.

Mu Zhanxi sometimes felt that his state was not right, and he didn't know if others were also in the same state, but when he found out, he was used to it, and no matter how much he forced himself not to think about Meng Yinan, he couldn't change it.

In the end, I had to sigh and accept the reality.

Anyway, it doesn't affect life. After all, Mu Zhanxi has enough time to study and be busy every day, and it doesn't delay matters because of Meng Yinan.

And all the time outside of his busy schedule was reserved for Meng Yinan.

The problem is not big.

Meng Yinan also looked for him at six o'clock that day.

First, I made a voice call. I guess I’m almost home after school. After a while, I will definitely have a video with Mu Zhanxi while eating, and then I will be coquettish for a while, and then I will take a bath. I will change into clean pajamas without drying my hair, and lie on the bed. Rolling around, complaining about a lot of homework.

Meng Yinan does this every day, habits are difficult to change, and these behaviors are normal.

But Mu Zhanxi didn't feel bored, on the contrary, he liked it very much.

Mu Zhanxi left the library with the book in his arms, and while walking towards the dormitory, he put on a headset to answer the call from Meng Yinan.

"Hello, brother?"

Hearing Meng Yinan's voice, his expression softened.

After the voice was connected, there was no need for Mu Zhanxi to say anything at first, as long as he responded that he was listening, Meng Yinan would pour him many new things like pouring beans.

Today, Meng Yinan was complaining about Mu Ting. It is estimated that people are still outside and can hear some wind. Meng Yinan's voice is also muffled, with a nasal sound.

He successively explained to Mu Zhanxi why he mentioned Mu Ting, saw Mu Ting and Xu Zhirong together, and then described the strange state and way of getting along with each other.

But the point is not about Mu Ting's sexual news, those words are just mentioned, and there is no need for Mu Zhanxi to comment. The point is that Mu Ting left him in the car exhaust, which caused him to sneeze three times.Meng Yinan criticized for a long time.

When Meng Yinan finally finished speaking, Mu Zhanxi asked, "How long will it take to get home?"

"Come on, three, ah no, one minute, I just arrived at the gate of the community when I called you."

The boy's originally clear voice was affected by the nasal sound, making him appear lazy and soft. He sniffed his nose from time to time in the wind, making people immediately think of his reddish nose, and his heart softened, making him feel cute even in the air.

Mu Zhanxi subconsciously said softly, "Do you have a cold?"

"No, it should be caused by the sneeze just now."

Mu Zhanxi didn't know if it was because of the sneezing, but he knew that Mu Ting was to blame again. Meng Yinan's resentment towards the car exhaust was so high that he wouldn't be able to forgive him for a while.

Mu Zhanxi coaxed him eccentrically, "Okay, he bullied you, and you won't give him a good face if you see him in two days."

Meng Yinan laughed all of a sudden: "Forget it, Brother Ting will give you red envelopes."

How much is a bit of a money fan.

Meng Yinan's shyness disappeared when he received the red envelopes. It was at that time of the year that his mouth was the sweetest, as if his skills were full at once, and he possessed outstanding social skills.

But of course, his ability only lasts for a few seconds. After the auspicious words he prepared in advance are finished, he will be silent again after taking the red envelope, pretending to be a good boy who is silent.

Mu Zhanxi said he was a money fan.

Meng Yinan did not refute his words, but smiled happily, as if he was a little complacent about the attribute of "love money".

While talking, when Mu Zhanxi heard the familiar door open, he knew that Meng Yinan had come to the door, and asked, "Are you home?"

Meng Yinan said it.

Mu Zhanxi said that he should eat and take a bath first, and then talk later. Anyway, Meng Yinan will come to Yangcheng after school tomorrow, within a few minutes.In reality, he hoped that Meng Yinan would go to bed early and not be reluctant to hang up the phone until late.

While saying yes, Meng Yinan entered the house, talking to himself, "Why are there so many shoes at the door? Are they from Brother Ding? They don't look like..."

But after hearing Mu Zhanxi's words, he turned his attention away from the shoes again, and casually asked Mu Zhanxi if there was anything he needed, which he could bring with him tomorrow.

"No," Mu Zhanxi smiled, "It's only three or four days, as long as you come."

Meng Yinan might have been a little shy, her voice was a little deeper, probably pursing her lips and saying "oh".

The two chatted some gossip again, but while they were talking, Meng Yinan suddenly stopped.

It was the kind of stop that was like a signal freeze, and the words stopped abruptly, but Mu Zhanxi's mobile phone showed that the network status was good, and he could even hear Meng Yinan's slight breathing, which proved that everything was normal during the call, not signal problem.

It's just that Meng Yinan suddenly fell silent, as if the pleasant atmosphere had cooled to freezing point, Mu Zhanxi also noticed the strange atmosphere through the phone call.

Reminiscent of the shoes Meng Yinan just mentioned, Mu Zhanxi had some vague guesses.

After waiting for a while, Meng Yinan still didn't speak, so Mu Zhanxi asked him what's the matter, Meng Yinan seemed to have come to his senses at this moment, his voice was slightly hoarse: "Suddenly, something happened."

But soon Meng Yinan cleared his throat, and his tone returned to normal: "I... well, I'm here, brother, how about I talk to you later?"

Meng Yinan's words were vague, and something was hidden in the middle.

Mu Zhanxi: "It's Meng Du?"

Meng Yinan hummed lightly.

Mu Zhanxi originally wanted to say something, and wanted Meng Yinan not to take Meng Du seriously, and not to do things that would hurt him if there was a conflict.It's okay to be selfish and casual, Meng Du is not the only one who can come to the Mu family, and Meng Yinan is not an outsider or an outsider, it is also his home.

I also want to say that if you have something to come to me, you will not be wronged.

But Meng Yinan's voice didn't sound like he was at a loss or flustered, as if he was very calm.

Mu Zhanxi made an agreement with him and said, "You can find me later."

It's not that Meng Yinan didn't expect to see Meng Du at home.

After all, the Mu family is not an airtight protective circle, and there is no seal in the cartoon, which can protect Meng Yinan from people he doesn't want to see, stay away from messy things, and always be happy.

But Meng Du hadn't been here for a long time. As far as Meng Yinan was used to it, he couldn't remember much about how Meng Du lived here in the Qing Dynasty.

If you have to recall carefully, you can still remember what happened the day they came to the city, and some vanity words Meng Du said, or some details in life, but those all seem to have happened in another time and space, Meng Du Yi Nan felt strange.

In fact, over the past year, Meng Yinan has realized that he and Meng Du have gradually become estranged.

He hadn't thought of this person for a long time, and even if he did, those thoughts were as light as a feather, passing by without any influence on Meng Yinan.

But at this time, it is more real to meet each other, and his feelings are more real.

"Did you talk to Xiaoxi just now?" Meng Du stood not far in front of Meng Yinan. He should have just come down from the second floor and stood on the stairs, with his hand casually resting on the wooden ball at the end of the handrail.

He was the same as the last time we met, his appearance and body shape hadn't changed much, and his impression was still the same. He was a very delicate Omega.

And some things in Meng Yinan have not changed. For example, he still has some resistance when he hears Meng Du's questioning.

For a long time, Meng Yinan was unwilling to expose his positive feelings to Meng Du.

It seems that he is willing to sacrifice happiness, liking, and innocence... For this series of emotions, in order to make his disgust and resistance obvious, he must remain cold, angry, and be a hedgehog that explodes his thorns for a long time.

If not, Meng Yinan would feel that he was at fault and guilty and could not be forgiven.

It is because he cannot be forgiven by himself, cannot be forgiven by the pain and "not love" he has experienced.

It seems that if he smiles, it means that the scar will be healed and the pain will be forgotten, and he will still look forward to the illusory father's love; it seems that if he is happy for a while, it means that he will acquiesce and agree, accepting everything Meng Du has done to him.

In other words, he has already met such relatives, so what is the need to be happy?If he can be happy every day like this, laugh without any scruples, and have no troubles like other children, does that mean that Meng Du hasn't influenced him much, and isn't that bad?

The answer was the opposite, Meng Du hated it.

Therefore, Meng Yinan would rather suppress his nature and become a cold and twisted child than allow himself to be happy, and not allow himself to smooth out the thorns all over his body.

He had to remind himself all the time, keeping the strings in his mind tight and not letting go.

……

He didn't know how to examine himself before, and he certainly didn't think about whether it was reasonable to do so.

But thinking about it now, I suddenly understand something.

In fact, Meng Yinan is just a little soldier with little force value. He bluffs and tells others "I am very powerful and can withstand thousands of troops", and holds his sword high all the time, as if doing so is really powerful.

But after a thorough study, it is actually trying to cover up.

The little soldier raised his sword to hide his softness, while Meng Yinan blasted his stab to cover up his innocence.

To put it bluntly, in fact, Meng Yinan loves to laugh and play tricks. Sometimes he is foolish, sometimes smart, sensible and obedient, and loves to have fun.He was the kind of kid who wouldn't hate anyone who saw him.

And it was precisely because of Meng Yinan's nature and lack of aggressiveness that he was not allowed to relax.

He was afraid that he would look like he would easily forgive Meng Du, afraid that Meng Du would think like this, and also afraid that he would think like this after a long time, and he would be hurt again, so he had to remind himself to be cold and strong, not to relax.

Such an approach may not be wrong, it is just a stress response to being injured, and it is also the activation of a self-protection mechanism.

But as he grew up and matured, Meng Yinan gradually felt that he didn't have to treat himself so harshly.

He may not be warm and talkative enough, not an extrovert in a broad sense, he is not smooth enough, he cannot handle some things well, and he cannot deal with Meng Du perfectly, but he has cuteness and is also worthy of liking.

He didn't need to cover himself up to prove how hateful Meng Du was, and he didn't need to cover himself up with thick thorns to be a thorny and monotonous little hedgehog.

Even if Meng Yinan is confident, flamboyant, and radiant, it doesn't mean that Meng Du gave him a beautiful childhood and a warm family.

Conversely, no matter how much Meng Du hurt him, he still had the right to shine.

……

Fortunately, it wasn't too late for Meng Yinan to understand this.

Fortunately, this little animal with fried fur wandered for a long time and did many things that hurt itself, but it still found the original Meng Yinan.

From a loner puppy in the rain to now a floppy happy puppy.

He grew up slowly, not reconciled with Meng Du, but reconciled with himself, even if he didn't split into Alpha, he became stronger.

Meng Yinan still stood, and answered Meng Du's words after a short wait: "Yes, yes."

Tell Mengdu bluntly that he was talking to Mu Zhanxi.

Meng Du looked at him for a while, then showed a smile: "You two have such a good relationship?"

Meng Yinan also said yes.

"It's also very good. In fact, I knew he was very good to you when he chased you out that time."

Meng Yinan thought he was talking about the time he ran away from home, so he hummed.

Meng Du looked at Meng Yinan for a while, but suddenly he took two steps forward.

A complex expression gradually appeared on his face, and there was a faint glimmer of water in his eyes, as if he had fallen into memory. He was not only looking at Meng Yinan, but at someone else: "If you differentiate into an Alpha, maybe you should be Like this. It’s just that I didn’t want you to become an Alpha before, and I never thought about what you would look like after you differentiated into an Alpha.”

Meng Yinan frowned.

He didn't know what Meng Du wanted to say, and he didn't know why Meng Du showed such a look.

But Meng Yinan still remembers talking on the phone with Meng Du after the last split. It seems that Meng Du has been like this since he knew that Meng Yinan split into Alpha. stopped.

"What do you want to say?" Meng Yinan asked.

But without waiting for Meng Du to answer, he said, "If it's a matter of differentiation, then as you can see, I am indeed an Alpha."

"Well, Alpha, I know. Maybe you were born to be an Alpha."

Meng Yinan was taken aback for a moment, but he didn't expect Meng Du to agree with his words.

"Actually, I thought so too. Whether it's the sixth sense or the subconscious mind, I think you should be an Alpha." Meng Du didn't approach Meng Yinan any more, and told him, "You were very similar to her when you were young. When they get older, especially after they are differentiated, they are more similar."

Meng Du's voice became softer, maybe he didn't say this to Meng Yinan, but to himself.

But Meng Yinan heard it.

It seemed that for a moment, Meng Yinan was in a daze for a while, a little confused about the situation, but soon he came back to his senses, and asked in a low and slow voice: "The 'he' you mentioned is my blood relative... Or the parents?"

"You already know?" Meng Du obviously didn't expect Meng Yinan to ask such a question.

Meng Yinan didn't know, but guessed.

He had never understood why Meng Du wanted to adopt him before. With Meng Du's character and financial ability, he didn't have the conditions to raise a child in any aspect.

But he still adopted Meng Yinan.

Is it out of a moment of kindness and kindness?

But Meng Yinan didn't think so.

He thinks that adoption is nothing more than active and passive. If it doesn't have a certain purpose, then there should be no way to get involved with Meng Yinan, an adopted son.

It seems that only this explanation can explain why Meng Du treats Meng Yinan well and sometimes badly, and when Meng Yinan grows up, he has a lot of personal emotions, wanting to turn Meng Yinan into an omega.

So Meng Yinan wasn't surprised by what Meng Du said just now, but just thought, "So it's really like this."

He even wanted to think that he was not an abandoned child, but because of some things and some reasons, he couldn't stay in the original family, so he regretfully became the adopted son of another family.

Meng Yinan said he guessed it himself, and Meng Du didn't speak after that.

After waiting for a while, Meng Du didn't open his mouth. He didn't know what he was thinking, so Meng Yinan felt that there was no need to say anything more, and he didn't know what time to waste here.

So he said: "Is there anything else? If not, I'm leaving. I still have to do my homework."

Meng Du seemed to come back to his senses after a while, and asked Meng Yinan, "Is there a lot of homework?"

The content just now has been completely overturned, and there is no further mention.

Meng Yinan greeted him very ordinaryly: "It's okay."

"Are you going to take the college entrance examination next year?"

Meng Yinan hummed.

"Okay," Meng Du nodded, "I'm here to pick up something and give me a ride. You probably don't want to see me. It's awkward to live under the same roof, right? Don't worry, I'm going to leave now gone."

Meng Yinan said "Okay", and when he passed Meng Du up the stairs, he added, "Then I'm off to study."

Didn't say goodbye, didn't say goodbye.

Meng Yinan didn't think it was necessary.

Not long after reaching the second floor, Meng Yinan heard the sound of the door closing. He estimated that Meng Du had already left.

He lay in his room for a while, and ran out to look after there was no movement outside.After inspecting the whole house again, it was finally confirmed that Meng Du was indeed not here.

That night, Meng Yinan didn't eat dinner, he was not in the mood to eat, and his appetite was low.

He was quite happy at first, but the "he" that Meng Du said made Meng Yinan think wildly for a while.

He took a hot shower and lay in bed with his hair wet, thinking.

I wanted to call Mu Zhanxi later, tell him about this, and see what my brother thinks.

But before he could adjust his mood and figure out what time it would be "later", Meng Yinan curled up on the bed and slowly fell asleep.

The author says:

There will be no reconciliation, but my brother always wants to get rid of those things

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