deep blue

Meng Yinan woke up from the cold.

I don't know how to pull a corner of the quilt to cover the body, and the person shrinks in this corner, with more than half of the pillow in front of him.Probably because he slept too deeply, and when it was cold in the middle of the night, he just covered himself up to make do with it, and he even lay upside down.

After waking up, I couldn't keep my eyes open, and lay down quietly for a while, before falling asleep again, I struggled to sit up and fumbled for my phone in a daze.

He still remembered that he had to communicate with Mu Zhanxi.

It's just that the room was dark at this moment, and he couldn't figure out the time. He thought that he might only have slept for a while, and Mu Zhanxi hadn't slept yet, so he should still have time to talk on the phone for a while.

But when Meng Yinan picked up his phone and looked at it, he suddenly became sober.

It was two o'clock in the morning.

Mu Zhanxi sent him a lot of messages, asking Meng Du what he was doing here and if there was anything wrong, and also asked Meng Yinan if he had taken a shower and if he was busy, and asked him to reply when he was all right.

The last time Meng Yinan came back to him was before taking a bath. At that time, he said that Meng Du had left, and the details would be discussed after the bath. However, after the bath, he failed to contact him and fell asleep in bed.

From the afternoon to the early morning, Meng Yinan failed to reply him for such a long time.

But in the few hours between, Mu Zhanxi looked for Meng Yinan many times.

The frequency ranged from once every ten minutes to once every half an hour, and lasted until after eleven o'clock. Later, he probably urged Mu Ting to go home quickly. After learning that Meng Yinan was safe and sound, he just fell asleep, so he said good night to him and sent a message. The cute expression of the little panda covering the quilt is like a message that is only sent when communicating with children.

Meng Yinan leaned on the bed, covered the quilt, and read the chat records word by word slowly.

It was very dark outside the window at two o'clock in the morning, and it was still late at night.The room was also very dark, only the cold light from the mobile phone illuminated a corner, making it look very deserted.

Perhaps people tend to be emotional at night, Meng Yinan suddenly wanted to cry while holding his phone.

Because Mu Zhanxi said a lot, although there wasn't a single sentence or word in those words that said he was worried about Meng Yinan, afraid that Meng Du would do something to hurt Meng Yinan again, but in fact it was self-evident whether he was worried or not.

Throughout Meng Yinan's life of less than 18 years so far, many things have happened and encountered many difficulties. Some things have been forgotten by Meng Yinan, and some things have been clearly remembered by Meng Yinan.

Meng Du hurt Meng Yinan and did unreasonable things. Meng Yinan couldn't understand him. Of course, he was angry and angry, but because of his kind heart, he also softly made excuses for Meng Du and wanted to get along peacefully.

But in the end, his blood was cold and his heart was chilled. He discovered Meng Du's selfishness again and again, realized that he was not loved, and gradually wore away his soft heart and expectations. In the end, he was completely defeated by some trivial daily life and details, and could not forgive Meng Du lightly. .

Or in the eyes of others, Meng Yinan has never experienced the pain of life and death. Compared with many people in this world who have experienced catastrophe, the difficulties he encountered are very pediatric, and he has successfully grown to 17 anyway. At least at the moment, he seems to be in good health, has a small success in his studies, and has a lot to look forward to in the future.

But Meng Yinan can't agree with this idea, he doesn't feel that the suffering he has suffered is very low-level, and he doesn't want to say "at any rate, at least", because he undoubtedly grew up through big and small injuries, and he will remember those pasts.

It cannot be tolerated, nor can it be looked down upon.

……

But Meng Yinan was learning to put aside these unforgivable and indifferent things.

He doesn't want to be controlled by these things anymore, and he doesn't want to waste time on it. Even if he dreams about the past and wakes up, he doesn't want to be angry. He doesn't care about right or wrong. It is important to let him disappear from his mind as soon as possible.

Because human life is limited and Meng Yinan's time is precious, instead of worrying about it, it is better to give some more to Mu Zhanxi.

Mu Zhanxi took care of Meng Yinan and gave him everything that was good. He didn't want to lose his temper with him, had to deal with him, and even more didn't want him to be hurt.Even if Meng Yinan did something wrong and Mu Zhanxi wanted to get angry, he always compromised first and couldn't bear to blame him.

Mu Zhanxi would go to Meng Yinan without getting a reply word by word. He never thought about what Meng Yinan was doing, how many times he had been taught not to reply to messages but still refused to change. He never got angry with Meng Yinan.

That whole row of news was all said by him alone.

It doesn't matter if one person says it.

Meng Yinan thought, why is he so nice?After sending so many words, I have been waiting and asking.I also wondered if I was an idiot. I should go to sleep before I get a reply. Don’t wait any longer. I wanted to tell Mu Zhanxi, "The idiot you were waiting for was sleeping heartlessly." He can have a meal."

Meng Yinan curled up his legs while thinking, huddled up on the head of the bed, put his hands on his knees, and replied to Mu Zhanxi one by one, telling him that he was asleep, and that he was sorry for not being able to reply to the message. Tell him everything that happened to Du.

I don't know how many sentences were sent, anyway, it was about 5 minutes after Meng Yinan began to reply, and the voice call came over.

Meng Yinan was stunned for a moment, and immediately connected, not caring where he had just typed, and asked in a low voice, "Brother? Why are you awake?"

Mu Zhanxi didn't know what he was doing, so he was silent for a while, and instead of answering, he asked him, "Why are you crying?"

The voice was a bit hoarse and not awake, the sound was very deep, with some slight nasal sounds, it seemed very lazy, as if it had just woken up.But when he asked Meng Yinan why he was crying, he was confused and puzzled, and every syllable revealed worry and distress.

In fact, thinking about it carefully, Mu Zhanxi didn't do anything earth-shattering for Meng Yinan, didn't say that he sacrificed himself to save his life, or anything else, but just helped Meng Yinan with some things in life.

For example, take care of him recovering from illness, take him to the hospital, attend his parent meeting, do homework together, take him to make friends, play games... these are small things that seem to be easily done between friends.

But Mu Zhanxi is so sincere and sincere. He is completely opposite to Meng Du. He takes care of Meng Yinan in small details, fills up those small mouths that have been knocked and bumped many times, and smooths them out. Nan seems to have no cracks at all, and it is brand new.

And this process of becoming brand new and returning to the original is the process of Meng Yinan leaving Meng Du and the past behind, and it is also the process of him finally letting go of himself and choosing to look forward.

During this period, there were many struggles and bewilderment, but also received more warmth and care than the former.

What Mu Zhanxi meant to Meng Yinan, Meng Yinan knew best.

Hearing Mu Zhanxi's words, Meng Yinan blinked, subconsciously touched his face, and ended up with wet hands.Only then did I realize that I was indeed in tears.

He quickly wiped his face, sniffed his nose again, and said to his brother, "No, I'm not crying, I just have a cold."

Then he explained as if the real thing: "I accidentally fell asleep after taking a shower, and I didn't cover the quilt, so I caught a little cold." In winter, even if there is floor heating at home, there is still moisture on his body just after taking a shower, If you lie down directly in short sleeves, you will be cold when you fall asleep.

It's not that I want to lie, it's just that crying is a bit hypocritical, and it's a little embarrassing to say that I cried when I read the chat records sent by my brother.

He didn't know whether Mu Zhanxi believed it or not, so he just responded.

Without waiting for him to ask any more questions, Meng Yinan hurriedly said, "Brother, are you already asleep?"

The person who was still saying goodnight to Meng Yinan at eleven o'clock called him immediately after receiving his message at two o'clock. One could imagine how long he had slept and whether he was woken up.

Meng Yinan was a little angry again, not at Mu Zhanxi, but at his annoying self who said to fall asleep while lying down, and said to Mu Zhanxi, "Go to sleep."

But Mu Zhanxi didn't seem to understand Meng Yinan's mood, so he sighed and called Meng Yinan by his name: "Yinan, do you think that I've been waiting for you for so long to tell me to sleep?"

Meng Yinan whispered, "No, but, but it's already very late."

"I've been waiting for you since five o'clock," Mu Zhanxi's faint voice rang in Meng Yinan's ears like running water, "until almost twelve o'clock, I thought you would come back to me later, so I kept waiting .”

Meng Yinan immediately had nothing to say.

"My brother said I only fell asleep after you fell asleep." Mu Zhanxi sighed again, as if turning over, there were some rustling movements, "I miss you."

He also said, "I can't wait for you to come, I want to see you now."

He never mentioned anything about Meng Du, as if there was no such person.

But Meng Yinan doesn't want to mention it now, he will spoil the fun if he mentions it, and he will tell Mu Zhanxi later: "Brother, I miss you too. I'll look for you as soon as school is over tomorrow night."

Mu Zhanxi corrected: "It's today."

It was indeed today after twelve o'clock, and Meng Yinan repeated: "Okay, it's today."

After that, Mu Zhanxi asked Meng Yinan if he went to bed so early and finished his homework.

Most of Meng Yinan's homework is done at school, and there are not many left, but there is a little left, which can be completed in about half an hour.So I got up to study in the middle of the night, and I was really moved.

The call never stopped, and Mu Zhanxi waited for him to finish his homework before going to bed at almost three o'clock.

Before going to bed, she said that she would wait for Meng Yinan to come over from school and pick him up at the station. At the end, she said softly, "Kiss you."

It seems that he misses Meng Yinan very much, and he never said such things before.

Immediately, Meng Yinan felt the ear that was attached to the phone burn, and subconsciously let out a whimper like a small animal coquettishly, and said, "Well, brother, kiss you."

But on Friday, Meng Yinan didn't make it to Yangcheng.

He woke up in the morning and found that he seemed to be sick, his whole body was uncomfortable, he was sore as if he had been in a fight, and his head was throbbing.

Maybe it was because of the cold wind blowing after school, and after going home to take a shower and sleeping without drying or covering the quilt, I really caught a cold.

At that time, Meng Yinan didn't think it was a big deal. He went to call Mu Ting in the morning, but Mu Ting's room was neat and tidy, and the quilt was not messed up. Meng Yinan couldn't find him, and couldn't figure out what was going on with him, so he had Go to school by yourself.

It wasn't until the afternoon that he finally realized that he was wrong. He felt uncomfortable everywhere. His bones were sore as if they were growing, but he didn't have much energy in his body. He was dizzy and his neck was very stiff.

Meng Yinan originally thought that it might be because he had a cold and didn't get enough sleep, and he was not feeling well. Maybe he would be fine after going home and resting.

But he might not be able to catch the train to Yangcheng in time, so he planned to go home to rest first, sleep for an hour, or leave later.

He told Mu Zhanxi that he had a fever, and Mu Zhanxi said to forget it, don't toss and turn when you are sick, your body is more important.Besides, anyway, I will go back in three or four days, not bad for a few days.Someone asked Meng Yinan if he could stay at home alone, and said that he had to go to Mu Ting for something.

Meng Yinan said it was fine, just get some sleep.

He has been sick for a long time by sleeping, and he didn't think it was a serious illness. He even took two cold medicines, and told Mu Zhanxi that he would go to bed directly, and he would look for him when he woke up tomorrow.

It's just that the cold medicine is useless except to help sleep. At night, Meng Yinan's glands also began to have a slight pain, but it was more itching than the pain.My body still has a low-grade fever, and my joints are sore, but it doesn't affect my movement, but it's very uncomfortable. I always feel like I want to stretch, and I want to fight with someone, and my whole body is ready to move.

He waited until he woke up and found that the pheromone content in the room was completely exceeded, and the cold alcohol smell was so strong that it made people drowsy. Only then did he realize that it might be a period of susceptibility.

Meng Yinan had heard about the susceptibility period, but he didn't know anything about it. He had no experience with it for the first time, so he had to check it online.

There are various opinions on the Internet, some say that it is just sensitive and crying, while others say that it must be comforted by Omega, as if the susceptible period is an excellent alpha spring/medicine period.

Meng Yinan watched it for a while and stopped watching it, because he didn't need Omega, and his boyfriend was an Alpha, no matter what his considerations were, he couldn't rely on this method to relieve him.

Besides, allergies and low-grade fever are not diseases. Today is also a holiday, so I don’t have to go to school, so I can bear it at home.If it doesn’t work, go to sleep, and you’ll be fine when you fall asleep, and you don’t have to worry about anything else.

If it really doesn't work, and you have any uncontrollable symptoms, you can also go outside to buy inhibitors.

The problem is not big.

Thinking of this, Meng Yinan tried to fall asleep again.

But it may be that he has already slept, and it is not easy to fall asleep if he wants to sleep again. Meng Yinan didn't feel sleepy again until five o'clock in the morning, and when he woke up the second time, it was three o'clock in the afternoon the next day .

When he woke up, there were a lot of messages on his phone, but most of them came from the school class group and delivery. Mu Zhanxi didn't find him much, but sent two more messages at [-] o'clock in the morning, and asked Meng Yinan if he was awake after lunch. Wake up, and I haven't found him since.

Meng Yinan didn't know if it was the susceptibility period that caused the trouble. Compared with the frequency of searching for a message sent in more than ten minutes in the previous two days, he felt that Mu Zhanxi was quite cold today.

Is it because you didn't reply to the message, did you finally get angry this time?

Or is his school activity started and he is busy today?

But how busy do you have to be to send only one message and only ask if Meng Yinan is awake?

Can't you say something else?

It's okay to say that Meng Yinan is disobedient and disobedient, don't you want to be angry with him?

Or is she already used to Meng Yinan not replying, so she doesn't care, let's talk about it after waking up?

If Meng Yinan actually ran away from home like before, would he have to wait until he was completely frozen to death before looking for him?

……

Meng Yinan couldn't help these thoughts, he didn't mean to be suspicious, but really couldn't help them, those thoughts appeared in his mind naturally, he couldn't even think about it.

But there is still some sense, Meng Yinan told himself, don't dream about the susceptible period, it's better to sleep for a while, maybe Mu Zhanxi will reply him later when he finishes his work, and he will say it like yesterday morning Think to yourself and say "kiss you".

That's right, Meng Yinan squeezed his face and whispered to himself, "Idiot, he was worried about you yesterday, so it's impossible that he doesn't like you today."

So ready to sleep again.

But sleep is difficult to talk about, it is more metaphysical, and it is not something you can fall asleep just because you want to sleep.

Meng Yinan tossed and turned and became more and more energetic, so she had to find a new barrier sticker to stick the glands first, so as to prevent the whole family of pheromones from dispersing, and then went to the cabinet downstairs to find something to help sleep.

He didn't know whether to look for medicine or something, or take two more cold medicines, maybe he could fall asleep, anyway, he already had a cold, the last time he took it was at six o'clock yesterday afternoon, and he would not have any problems after taking it for such a long time.

Meng Yinan went down to search around, and there really was only cold medicine left.He boiled water, took another tablet of medicine and a small bread for snacks, and was going to go upstairs to eat and then sleep.

But this time he didn't go back to his room. He felt that the pheromone was too heavy, so he opened the window to ventilate, and went to Mu Zhanxi's room with the cup and medicine.Anyway, he was the only one at home, and Mu Ting wasn't there, he just slept for a while, and it wasn't the first time he slept.

Perhaps it was some kind of sympathy, as soon as Meng Yinan arrived at Mu Zhanxi's room, he received a call from him.

Meng Yinan instantly became happy, and put the cup and medicine aside.

The wind could be heard on the other end of the call. It seemed that the weather in Yangcheng was not very good today, and the wind was very strong. If Mu Zhanxi's event was held outside, it might be very cold.

Meng Yinan asked, "Brother, are you cold?"

Mu Zhanxi gave a "hmm", but said, "It's okay."

"Is the event over?"

"Almost, it's over for today."

"Why so early? Didn't it mean that it might be very busy?"

"Well, I didn't expect that."

"Are you tired?"

Mu Zhanxi smiled: "It's okay."

The background sound on Mu Zhanxi's side had some strange noises, a bit like the sound of pulleys rubbing against the red brick floor of the community.

Maybe he was helping others with their suitcases, Meng Yinan thought, maybe it was some kind of community charity activity.

But can I still call him when doing this kind of activity?so leisurely?Won't the owner of the suitcase come along?

Or maybe it wasn't the sound of a suitcase at all, Meng Yinan heard it wrong.

After all, if you want to move something, doesn't the cart also have pulleys?It has nothing to do with the suitcase.

Meng Yinan was thinking about things, but he didn't notice the very familiar sound of door opening from Mu Zhanxi's side, so he was still talking, saying that Mu Zhanxi would call him when he was done with work, and he wanted to eat later Yes, after dinner, go for a walk outside, finally stop doing homework after the holiday, let's talk after having fun.

However, Mu Zhanxi didn't respond to his remarks. Instead, he was silent for a while, and said in a sound like closing a door: "Meng Yinan, where are you now?"

Meng Yinan froze for a moment, as if his heart had been stung by something, it was sore and painful, and he didn't notice the movement at home at all, so he said suddenly, "Why do you call me by my full name?"

Instead, Mu Zhanxi fell silent.

"Aren't you busy? Can you make a call?" Meng Yinan was a little unspeakably anxious. She wanted to hang up the phone, but felt very wronged. She thought, in order not to affect you and not to guess at you, I took all the cold medicine When I took sleeping pills, I was going to sleep all the time, but why did you still treat me so coldly?

But Mu Zhanxi didn't answer, so Meng Yinan asked, "Why don't you talk? You don't want to talk to me, do you?"

Mu Zhanxi's voice was very low: "No."

After waiting, he asked Meng Yinan again: "Where are you? My room?"

Meng Yinan didn't know why he didn't answer the call, but kept asking questions instead. The conversation between the two was not on the same channel at all.

Obviously Meng Yinan treated him well, always thinking about him, and kept telling himself to be rational, rational, rational, and rational during the first susceptible period, but why is Mu Zhanxi like this?

The grievance rose to the highest point inexplicably. Meng Yinan felt that this phone call might make him even more unhappy, so he didn't want to talk anymore.

He suppressed his tears and said to Mu Zhanxi, "Go and do your work, I'm going to sleep... No, I'm going to eat."

Mu Zhanxi was silent for a moment: "Then go out for a walk after dinner? Didn't you say you want to have fun? Who are you playing with?"

"..." Meng Yinan didn't know why he had to question himself, "I just take a walk, can't I take a walk happily?"

"Okay," Mu Zhanxi said, "Then what do you have for dinner?"

"Curry rice and bread." Meng Yinan replied without thinking.

I heard Mu Zhanxi couldn't hold back, and laughed helplessly: "Liar."

Meng Yinan originally wanted to refute, but the voice was undisguised, and it seemed that it was not only coming from the phone receiver.

Meng Yinan was stunned for a moment, as if he finally realized something, he called "Brother" in a low voice, but Mu Zhanxi didn't speak again.

The call is still going on, and the countdown is clearly standard, but it always makes people feel that every second is slower than the last one.Holding the phone, Meng Yinan walked to the door uncertainly, grabbed the doorknob, and suddenly felt her heart beating very fast.

When Mu Zhanxi said to kiss him yesterday, he was not as nervous as he is now.

His emotions fluctuated up and down, and his expectations were filled all of a sudden, but he was also afraid to open the door, afraid that no one would be there after the door opened.

"You, where are you?" Meng Yinan asked.

Mu Zhanxi laughed lowly: "What do you think?"

Standing so close, Meng Yinan finally heard the voice in the corridor outside the door, and his eyes immediately became sore.

He was aggrieved, sad, happy, and pleasantly surprised, but due to the influence of the susceptible period, he couldn't stop crying, sobbing softly, like a pitiful little animal: "But, I don't want to guess."

"Well, then don't guess."

After a pause, Mu Zhanxi said softly, "That's good, open the door."

Meng Yinan gently turned the door handle and opened the door obediently.

He saw Mu Zhanxi standing outside the door, only a step away from him.