deep blue

On Saturday morning, Meng Du came to the city to pick up Meng Yinan as scheduled.

He came early, went upstairs to pack some things, and got in the car about an hour later to get ready to go.

The temperature drops when they come in, and Lincheng's winter climate is drier and colder, while D City, where they are going, is a little more humid. It hasn't snowed for many years, but there is more rain.

Meng Yinan checked the weather forecast, and it happened to be rainy this weekend, so it was probably quite cold, so he put on a large black down jacket over the long-sleeved T-shirt.

This trip, he didn't bring anything except his mobile phone, and felt that he had nothing to take, so he locked the door alone.

Meng Du brought two suitcases and a large backpack. The suitcase was loaded in the car before, and the backpack contained the things he picked up in the house just now.

Omega looked really hard carrying a heavy backpack down the stairs. Standing beside him, Meng Yinan gave him a hand, and wordlessly lifted the things out, and the driver took over and put them in the trunk.

Meng Yinan accidentally caught a glimpse of the fully packed trunk, and suddenly thought that the day he came to the city was actually similar to today. It seemed to be a black car, carrying Meng Du and Meng Yinan. With a small amount of luggage, it was parked in the basement of this household.

It's just that everything was foreign to me then, but now it's familiar.

At this time, starting from here to go somewhere, Meng Yinan felt that this was his home, even if he went out, he would always come back.

Meng Yinan was a little dazed.

But soon Meng Du told him, "I'm going to go." Only then did Meng Yinan regain his senses and got into the car.

Because the driver was present, the father and son had almost nothing to talk about. After a brief exchange of greetings, they kept silent. They took a break at the service station and had a meal, and spent the rest of the time in the car. It took six hours and arrived at D before [-]:[-] p.m. city.

Meng Yinan fell asleep in the car for a while, and woke up when the car stopped.

The place they arrived at was an old residential area. From the outside, it seemed that it was a little old, but when you walked in, it was much better than what Meng Yinan had imagined. The green plants were lush and the environment was clean. The elevators in the unit building seemed to have been replaced not long ago. Shadows can be reflected when the door is closed.

Meng Du went up to the third floor, walked to the house on the left, and took out the key from his pocket to open the door.

This is a flat of nearly [-] square meters, with four bedrooms and one living room. It has all the necessary things.

Meng Yinan just stood at the door and didn't enter. Looking at the furnishings inside, he felt that it didn't look like the design that was popular in recent years. It should have been decorated earlier. The degree of bubbles and cracks reveals practicality and simplicity, which is quite lifelike.

The house smelled of dampness that had not been lived in for a long time, but everything inside was not messy, and it looked very clean and tidy, as if someone cleaned it regularly, so I guessed that it should be a well-organized family.

"Come in," Meng Du pulled a suitcase in, turned around and saw that Meng Yinan was still in a daze, so he called him, "Bring the things in for me."

Meng Yinan didn't respond, and didn't ask where it was. He silently took the remaining suitcase and backpack into the house, and closed the door.

Meng Du took out the disposable slippers from the shoe cabinet and put them on the floor. After that, he ignored Meng Yinan and should have gone to the bedroom to put his luggage.

Meng Yinan had nothing to do, so he stood in front of the shoe cabinet for a while, and saw a little lion doll on the shoe cabinet. It seemed that it had just been washed, and the doll's fur was no longer soft. It was hard and fried, but it was very clean.

In the small area of ​​the living room, there are a few similar toys, which make the whole family very cute, or in other words, this is probably a family with children.

Immediately afterwards, Meng Yinan saw the photo frames in the TV cabinet. There were three of them. The photos inside should have been taken very early. Whether it was the clothes of the characters or the texture of the photos, they all told that it had gone through a long time.

The biggest one is the one in the middle. The background seems to be an amusement park, and you can see a corner of the Ferris wheel covered by trees.The characters are a couple with a child and Meng Du.

Everyone in the photo smiled, but the child in his arms showed a strange expression of crying or not, probably because the ice cream cone in the child's hand just touched his cheek during the shooting, so he was about to burst into tears. .

Because the frozen picture is a bit cute, Meng Yinan can imagine what might have happened at that time, and Meng Yinan thought it was very interesting, and couldn't help but smile.

He noticed that Meng Du in this photo was very young, even young, and looked a little older than the current Meng Yinan. When he smiled, he would show a row of white teeth, and his smile was very sweet, yes The soft and lovely Omega is completely different from the person Meng Yinan imagined.

And it can be seen that the two next to them are a couple, because there is a photo of the two of them on the far left. There are gentle and sweet smiles on their faces.

The remaining one is Meng Du and the child.

The child looked even smaller than the one in the middle photo. He was fleshy and naked, wearing only diapers. Somehow, he climbed onto the young Meng Du's shoulders and kicked on the young man's neck. , naively and ignorantly using Meng Du's ear as an armrest, while resting his other hand on Meng Du's head, grinning, and looking at the camera stupidly and innocently.

Meng Du probably had a good personality at that time, he smiled with a good temper, raised his hand to support the child's back, leaned forward slightly to prevent the child from falling off his shoulders, and had a happy and helpless expression on his face.

……

Meng Yinan looked at it for a while, and he didn't know what it was like. After a while, he looked back as if he felt something, and saw Meng Du came out of the bedroom at some time, standing quietly not far away. look at him.

Meng Yinan already knew who this place was, but he didn't know how to speak or what to say. After waiting for a while, he asked softly, "Where are they?"

Meng Du didn't speak for a long time. He walked to the photo, looked at it silently for a while, and looked away, but didn't answer Meng Yinan's question: "I didn't dare to come back for a long time."

Meng Yinan said "hmm" to show that he was listening.

It's just that Meng Du didn't say anything more, he smiled and said, "You are very similar to her."

Meng Yinan didn't know who the "he" or "she" Meng Du was talking about before, but now he knows.The grown-up Meng Yinan resembles that female Alpha in seven or eight parts, probably the same Alpha, similar in shape and spirit, it is not an exaggeration to say that they were poured out of the same mold.

"It's my mother, isn't it?" Meng Yinan took a closer look and found that the current Meng Du is actually somewhat similar to the Alpha in the photo, but the gender is different and the temperament is too different, and the Alpha seems to be more beautiful than Meng Du. Du is many years older.

"Well," Meng Du looked at it for a while, then said softly, "She is my sister, her name is Meng Xiang."

This is probably a sad story.

A newlywed couple gave birth to a child in the second year of their marriage. The lovely son is also beautiful and well-behaved, thrives, his career is thriving, and he lives in a better new house.The couple are accompanied by their younger brother, who is also a very well-behaved and sensible brother.

It's just that the happiness came to an abrupt end. When Yu Meng Yinan was three years old, his parents died in an accident.

The family fell apart overnight.

Because Meng Du couldn't stay in this house, he couldn't breathe when he saw old things, and couldn't sleep at night, so after dealing with his sister and brother-in-law's funeral, he took little Meng Yinan to move to a small rental house .

Meng Yinan was very fun when he was young. He was a little meat dumpling, but he spoke late, and the pronunciation of "uncle" was always substandard, and his pronunciation was very strange. Meng Du couldn't learn it after many times of teaching, but he cried every night for his father. , could cry for a long time, and then Meng Du said "I am your father", as if it was true.

Meng Du had many admirers when he was young, and he was also a naive and arrogant Omega.

His older sister doted on him when he was alive, and after his parents passed away, his older sister took care of him. He thought that in his 20s, he could introduce a good-natured Alpha to Meng Du at his workplace, and form a happy family.

It's just that those futures are in vain. Mengdu is an Omega with a two- or three-year-old child. After suffering a lot, he still hasn't found an Alpha who treats him well.

From his early twenties to nearly 40 years old, he has been chaotic, confused, painful, crazy, and depraved.

Sometimes I feel that the existence of Meng Yinan is saving him, without this child Meng Du might not be able to survive at all, but sometimes I feel that the existence of Meng Yinan is harming him, because without Meng Yinan, Meng Du will be less Be criticized and suffer less.

When Meng Yinan was seven or eight years old, he gradually looked like his sister Meng Xiang.

Looking at him, Meng Du always thought of how his sister was when she was alive. For this reason, she scolded Meng Yinan, beat Meng Yinan, and cried while holding the child. After her emotions calmed down, she knelt on the ground many times and begged her sister to forgive him. Said he couldn't take it anymore.

Later, he worked hard to make Meng Yinan and Meng Xiang different.

Meng Xiang has short hair and is an Alpha with a straightforward personality and loves to laugh. In fact, from this point of view, Meng Yinan's personality may be more like Omega's father, more innocent and soft.

But Meng Du didn't care about anything at that time, let Meng Yinan grow long hair, and everything was the opposite of his sister's.

My sister goes to a good school, has many friends, is smart, and is popular. Meng Du interferes with Meng Yinan's making friends. Regardless of the wind and rain, he never picks up Meng Yinan, nor does he give him fatherly love, and prevents him from being like other children. , not giving him freedom and happiness.

When others hurt Meng Yinan, Meng Du always thought for some reason that it would be better if it was a little bit harder, at least it would be better to live a bit harder than to die.

Meng Xiang was eight or nine years older than Meng Du, and was a mature Alpha, so Meng Du wanted to turn Meng Yinan into an Omega. For a while, he was almost crazy, and even felt resentful because Meng Yinan didn't cooperate.

This situation continued until Meng Du accidentally met Mu Zhong one day.

Meng Du knew Mu Zhong as his sister's classmate. Many years ago, they seemed to have a good relationship and shared similar interests. However, after Meng Xiang passed away, this friendship did not continue.

When the two met, Mu Zhong seemed familiar with him, and when Meng Du revealed his identity, Alpha remembered the past.

Mu Zhong was a very nice person, even in Meng Du's eyes, he looked like a deceitful taker. After learning about Meng Du's living situation, he not only took Meng Yinan, the son of a friend from more than ten years ago, into his home, but also gave him back to him. Meng Du opened the back door and found a job with a good salary.

Meng Du said that it was impossible not to be moved, but he didn't have much. The experience of these years made him change, he lost his arrogance and arrogance. He once crawled on Mu Zhong's bed as a reward, but Mu Zhong didn't want him.Later, Meng Du deliberately said that they were partners, but Mu Zhong didn't stop him, and even took Meng Du abroad for a walk, saying that it was fine as an assistant or as a friend.

Mu Zhong seldom talks and is taciturn, but he is also willing to regard Meng Du, who is many years younger than him, as an old friend. When he is alone, he reads newspapers, knows how to eat strange dishes made by Meng Du, and gives a few comments with a calm face.

Meng Du probably knew that he was also lonely, and sometimes he just wanted to talk to someone and had no other thoughts.

In fact, there is not much difference between people and people. Whether they are poor or rich, what they really need is always the same.

...

Meng Yinan learned some of the past from some words, and had dinner with Meng Du that night, but they both had their own concerns and rarely communicated.

At night, Meng Yinan finally slept in his own home after many years, and went to see his parents with Meng Du the next day.

He was still wearing yesterday's black down jacket, holding flowers in his arms, and kowtowed in front of his parents' tombstone.

The photo on Meng Xiang's tombstone is one that Meng Yinan has never seen before. He smiles brightly, as if he has never been sad, and he smiles at any time and any difficulty.

Meng Yinan presented flowers and stood in front of the tombstone for a while. On the way here, he obviously had many things to say and thought about many things, but in the end he felt that he didn't know what to say, as if those words lacked a beginning, and there was no way out. At first, so which sentence is useless.

He stood there for a long time, talking intermittently, probably saying that he was doing well, so they don't have to worry, and he also made a boyfriend...etc.

When he was done talking, Meng Yinan peeked around, seeing that no one was paying attention to him, Meng Yinan suddenly trembled slightly, probably like a puppy shaking water when its fur is wet, it is a simplified version of shaking water, then touched his nose and whispered in embarrassment: "Next time, next time I will bring my brother...my boyfriend."

He also said that today was not impolite, but that he was not well prepared, and only pheromones were present.

After Meng Yinan said goodbye to his parents, he left and walked along the road. After a while, he saw Meng Du standing under a tree not far away, with a cigarette between his fingertips, but he didn't light it.

Smoking is not allowed here.

Seeing Meng Yinan, Meng Du asked, "Are you finished?"

Meng Yinan nodded.

Meng Du threw away the unlit cigarette: "Then go back."

After taking two steps, he said to Meng Yinan, "You didn't know about it before, so you didn't come here. They must know that I didn't tell you, so they won't blame you. From then on, you can come here at this time every year."

Meng Yinan said yes.

After getting in the car, Meng Du drove back, and Meng Yinan sat in the passenger seat silently, looking out the window.

After a while, Meng Du said: "Stay here for another night, Xiao Zhang will drive you back tomorrow."

What Xiao Zhang was talking about was the driver who drove the car when he came.

Meng Yinan nodded.After waiting, I will ask: "What about you?"

"I live here," Meng Du's expression remained unchanged, "This is my home."

Meng Yinan let out a "hmm".

Meng Du said again, "It's also your home."

Meng Yinan said "hmm" again, and added: "Okay."

In fact, what he wanted to ask was why Meng Du didn't live in City C anymore, and also wanted to know about the relationship between Meng Du and Mu Zhong, but Meng Yinan didn't know how to ask and couldn't open his mouth.

Fortunately, Meng Du mentioned it himself. Although it wasn't the question Meng Yinan wanted to ask, it was almost the same.

While waiting for the red light, he glanced at Meng Yinan, or at Meng Yinan's coat, and said, "Are you two together?"

Meng Yinan was stunned for a moment, then he reacted and nodded generously: "Yeah."

Meng Du seemed to smile a little: "Then congratulations."

It's not that Meng Du made random guesses, but Meng Yinan didn't hide it at all. He wore Mu Zhanxi's clothes when he went out, and he specially picked out the heaviest pine, cypress and woody clothes, so that he could recharge his batteries in time when he lacked courage.

As an Omega, Meng Du is of course sensitive to pheromones, it is impossible not to know.

It's just that Meng Du didn't seem very surprised, he probably knew about it a long time ago.

"You knew it before, didn't you?" Meng Yinan couldn't help asking him, "Then you left the Mu family because of me?"

Meng Du shook his head: "What does it have to do with you? I have a family of my own, so I can't rely on Mu Zhong all the time, right?"

Meng Yinan looked at him, and Meng Du laughed at himself: "I have nothing to do with him."

When he said that, Meng Yinan knew that maybe Meng Du's leaving the Mu family was not only Meng Du's idea, but also Mu Zhong's attitude.The reason why Mu finally had this attitude was probably because he learned about Mu Zhanxi and Meng Yinan being together.

It's just that this is also Meng Yinan's guess. Meng Yinan doesn't know what's going on, and he's not much interested now.

Because the relationship can be postponed, and Meng Yinan's mood in the past two days has been quite complicated, it is impossible not to be complicated, not only about his own life experience and past, but also about Meng Du.

Meng Yinan is probably not yet a mature adult, unable to jump out of himself and face the world completely rationally and objectively, so even if he knows that Meng Du's life is very hard, and knows that he may have accidentally hurt and troubled him when he was a child, But Meng Yinan didn't know if he deserved equal harm.

He didn't know if he deserved to survive and be raised only if he was hurt as a price.

But there should be no such reason in the world, so Meng Yinan felt that Meng Du did something wrong.

However, after learning about the past, Meng Yinan couldn't take a hostile attitude towards Meng Du.

So, this is an eternal unsolvable problem.

It's just that he has been thinking for a long time and there is no result. At least one thing he knows very well, that is, Meng Du raised him and hurt him. You can remember his badness, and these two points are not in conflict.

It was impossible for Meng Yinan to take revenge on Meng Du, but he also couldn't get close to him, couldn't reconcile with everything in the past, and couldn't say "I understand you, I forgive you" to Meng Du, so he felt that maybe this is the case now. That's it, no one step closer, no need to be that far away, keep a balanced distance, no need to say more, that's it.

In the car that day, the last thing Meng Yinan asked Meng Du was: "Do you think we are strange?"

This question itself should be appended after Meng Du said congratulations, but it seemed to have other meanings. I don't know if it was about the relationship between Alpha and Alpha, or about the relationship between Meng Du and his father and son.

Meng Du's reply was: "If you think it's strange, then it's strange. If you don't think it's strange, then it's not strange."

Meng Yinan nodded and looked out the window without saying a word.

It's just that he is actually a soft-hearted person, and he is also a bit sentimental and loves to cry. After a while, he feels his nose is sore, and he doesn't know what it is for. In short, he shed tears silently, and he couldn't stop for a while.

On Sunday, he returned to Lincheng by car, and took the little lion on the shoe cabinet when he left.

The little lion was a little ugly, not in line with the current aesthetics, and his mouth was a little crooked when he smiled, but Meng Yinan thought it was cute, so he found a dust bag and carried it in his hand.

As soon as he arrived in Lincheng, he got out of the car and said goodbye to the driver Xiao Zhang, and immediately received a call from Mu Zhanxi.

Because Mu Zhanxi was still preparing for the exam and he shouldn't be distracted, Meng Yinan didn't go into detail about what happened to him in the past two days. He just said that he went to his hometown and told Mu Zhanxi the details after the exam.

Mu Zhanxi said yes, and asked him, "What are you doing now?" He told Meng Yinan that he missed him.

It rained in City D yesterday, and it also rained in Lincheng this Sunday.

It's just that the rain continued on the way Meng Yinan went to see his parents yesterday, but the car stopped just before he got off, and he was just as lucky when he returned to Lincheng. Also stopped before getting off.

While listening to Mu Zhanxi's words, Meng Yinan avoided the small puddle with water on the road. When he raised his head slightly, he saw a beam of light seeping through the clouds, which was a rare sight in this season.

He suddenly thought that he was no longer that poor child who was unloved and would imagine a future and a way out alone.

There have always been people who love him since he came into this world.

From now on, some people will return to their hometown, longing for the dreamland of eternal sleep, and some people will eventually be by his side, accompanying him to the distant future.

And the stray puppy who was once wet, walking on the side of the road, confused and helpless, whenever he looked up, the sky would clear up for him.

"I'm going home, brother." Meng Yinan responded to Mu Zhanxi.

Tell him, "I miss you too".