make zero with tears

Ms. Chen obviously misunderstood what Cui Zhannan meant, and her eyes widened with anger.

"It's not that I said you, son, you must be content to be a human being! What's wrong with Xing Xing? You have to keep pushing it away? Besides, Xing Xing encountered such a big setback this time, and in the end you didn't give him peace of mind emotionally. Why don't you hurry up and see if he's still hesitating here?! What's going on in your mind?"

"Oh no...Mom, I didn't mean that!"

"Then what do you mean, tell me."

Cui Zhannan scratched his hair irritably, and was silent for a while: "Mom, didn't you and dad persuade me to find a reliable person to settle down? Actually, I was Xinglin who I met during that time. Later During the contact, I also think that he meets your criteria for choosing a daughter-in-law. In addition, I also like him very much, so I want to try with him. But then... Later, irreconcilable conflicts appeared between us. , I, I find it hard to accept, so I want to break up with him. This is why Xinglin asked you to be his helper. But, although I always say that I want to pull him down, in fact, I know that, I didn't think that way at all in my heart, and I couldn't bear it at all. We are now... Our relationship has never been clear, and my thoughts have never been fixed, and this happened..." Cui Zhannan lightly Sighing softly, "It's not because of me that I'm hesitating. I think I'm in a state where I can't even see my true heart. Can I go to him? For him... will it be Something unfair?"

Cui Zhannan, who has always been high-spirited, also showed a trace of despair at this time, looking helpless and annoyed.Ms. Chen looked at her son quietly, then smiled a little.

"You also said that you can't see the sincerity clearly. I think you can see clearly than anyone else."

Cui Zhannan raised his head.

Ms. Chen patted her son's shoulder lightly: "If something makes you hesitate, then go for it. No matter what the result is, at least you don't have any regrets. The same goes for Xing Xing. Since you like him, go find him." He. Although I don’t know what irreconcilable contradictions exist between you, I just want to ask you, do you think those contradictions are still contradictions under the premise that Xingxing has encountered such a big setback and has not heard from anyone?”

Cui Zhannan pursed his lips and did not speak.

"Actually, you already have the answer in your heart." Ms. Chen smiled and touched the back of Cui Zhannan's head, "Mom knows the root cause of your indecision. You never thought about being with someone for a long time, so you subconsciously feel that you can’t always like someone. But there are some things, how do you know it’s impossible if you don’t try?”

Cui Zhannan hardly slept that night.After his mother left the room, he lay on the bed and looked out the window.Today's moon is particularly bright, even if all the lights in the room are turned off, the outline of the furniture in the room can be seen clearly.

Cui Zhannan thought a lot.From the first time he and Fu Xinglin met until now.It is undeniable that he fell in love with Fu Xinglin the first time he saw him.Maybe it was because of his pretty face at first, but then it was because of...he couldn't tell.

Of course, he still likes Fu Xinglin's face until now, but compared to the beginning, it seems that there are many other things.

Cui Zhannan looked at the moon and sighed softly.

He is 29 years old this year and will soon be thirty.For more than ten years, he has been experiencing one "relationship" after another with the mentality of playing games. Before that, he never felt that there was anything wrong with his way of life.But now he suddenly felt a little bored.

Doing the same thing repeatedly with different people, is it "freshness"?

He even began to doubt whether he kept changing partners over the years because he was looking for novelty, or... fearing that his efforts would not be rewarded.Cui Zhannan didn't want to admit that he was a coward, but on this quiet night, where no one could see his shameful side but only himself, he faced his heart for the first time.

He was angry that Fu Xinglin had subverted his life, he was angry that Fu Xinglin could easily control his emotions, he blamed him for trampling on his self-esteem as a man, he hated him.

But now, his mind is full of him.

The smiling, shy, gentle, angry, sad...all are him, all are Fu Xinglin.

Cui Zhannan gently covered his left chest with his palm, feeling the beating frequency of the heart inside, and suddenly felt a sense of enlightenment.

So this is ah……

***

Cui Zhannan left early the next morning.He only carried a bag, which contained two changes of clothes and simple daily necessities, and boarded the plane to D City.

After landing, he took a long-distance bus from D City to Hua County, and it took more than two hours to get there.

Standing at the door of Fu's house, Cui Zhannan looked at the familiar door in front of him, and felt that the first time he met Fu Xinglin seemed to be a long time ago.At that time, he accompanied Liu Zheng to attend the funeral, and he saw him in that hectic and noisy scene.

Looking back on that scene now, Cui Zhannan looked at it from the perspective of a third person, and it turned out that his heartbeat was abnormally fast at that time.Perhaps some things were doomed from the beginning.

Cui Zhannan hesitated for a moment before raising his hand, but before he could knock on the door, the iron gate was pulled open from inside.Cui Zhannan's breathing stagnated, and his heart tensed immediately.

"You are...Xiao Cui?!" The woman expressed surprise, "Come in, come in!"

It was Fu Xinglin's mother who opened the door. Cui Zhannan immediately suppressed the disappointment in his heart, and walked forward with a smile: "Auntie."

There was a bright smile on Fu's mother's face, every wrinkle was filled with welcome to Cui Zhannan, and Cui Zhannan's address was not corrected.Cui Zhannan followed Fu's mother into the yard, and handed over the gift in his hand.

"You child, come as soon as you come, what are you taking? Take it back!" Fu's mother pushed back those gifts that looked very high-end at first glance.

Cui Zhannan laughed and insisted on handing it to Fu's mother: "Auntie, just take it."

The two pushed back and forth, but finally Fu's mother accepted it.It's just that I keep saying "You kid is really out of touch", "These things are expensive", "What are you doing with the money".

Cui Zhannan just smiled and said nothing.After following Fu's mother into the house, Cui Zhannan's eyes began to search for Fu Xinglin's figure.But there was nothing, as if Fu's mother was the only one in the family.

After putting the things away, Mother Fu saw Cui Zhannan's probing look, and said with a smile, "You're here to find Xinglin, right?"

Cui Zhannan immediately stood up straighter, and smiled embarrassedly: "Yes."

"Xinglin went to school with his dad. His dad is leading the graduation class this year, and asked him to help watch the class."

Cui Zhannan raised his eyebrows in surprise: "Then... when will they come back?"

"Usually you have to wait until the evening self-study is over, and it's almost ten o'clock when you get home. No, I was just going to buy vegetables for them and make some supper for them when they come back to eat at night, and I happened to see you at the door."

"Hey, did I delay your business? Auntie, let me go with you." Cui Zhannan looked a little reserved, like a child who has done something wrong.

Fu's mother smiled and held him down, letting him sit comfortably on the kang: "It's okay, you sit here and eat some fruit, I'll go back as soon as I go."

Cui Zhannan insisted: "Auntie, let me go with you, anyway, I stay here and stay here."

Finally, at Cui Zhannan's insistence, he accompanied Fu's mother to go grocery shopping.

In fact, most rural families grow their own vegetables, but there are only a few of them in total.So every day, many vegetable vendors drive down with big pickup trucks and set up stalls in fixed places.Cui Zhannan accompanied Fu's mother to buy a lot of vegetables and fruits, as well as ribs and beef.

Mother Fu was very happy to have guests at home, so she planned to cook more delicious dishes to entertain the guests.Even if Cui Zhannan rejected her, she still turned a deaf ear.But seeing the woman happy, Cui Zhannan was also really happy from the bottom of his heart.

After the two bought vegetables and went home, Fu's mother started cooking.Cui Zhannan was also embarrassed to be the shopkeeper, so he helped Fu's mother in the kitchen.

He used to work for Fu Xinglin, so Cui Zhannan was familiar with this job, at least he wouldn't be a hindrance to the chef.

During the cooking, Cui Zhannan chatted with Fu's mother, and most of the chats were about Fu Xinglin's childhood.

"Xing Lin was actually very lively and talkative when he was a child, and a small mouth is rare. But after he became sensible, he talked less. I'm also to blame for not creating a good family atmosphere for him. His father was still alive at the time, and we quarreled almost every day, and sometimes his father beat me. Even though I was thin, I didn’t mean to just let him bully me when I was beaten, and sometimes I would fight back. You said that in such an environment, no matter how cheerful a child is, he would be depressed, right?" Mother Fu lowered her head and skillfully cut the celery, "After I remarried, I got better. But Xinglin's character has already been fixed, so I can change it if I want to. It's gone."

The woman smiled wryly and shook her head: "Xinglin has been sensible since he was a child. Don't look at him as a man of few words, but he is actually kinder than anyone else, and he can take care of others. This character looks good, doesn't he? But in fact, all He has endured all the suffering and pain silently by himself. But he never yells for pain, so even if he is already suffering, others may not notice it. This child has been...too miserable all these years. "

Mother Fu raised her arm and wiped the corners of her eyes with her arm, her voice was choked with sobs: "It's like this time. He came back suddenly without saying why, but he said that he missed us and wanted to come back and stay for a few days. Look at us. Neither of us dared to ask, but we both knew that he must have encountered something difficult, and he couldn't solve it by himself, otherwise he wouldn't... "

Fu's mother's eye circles were completely red, she raised her face to look at Cui Zhannan: "Xiao Cui, do you... know something? Otherwise, you wouldn't have come all the way to find him."

Cui Zhannan opened his mouth, but for a moment he felt that he couldn't speak.He couldn't tell those things. Since Fu Xinglin chose to hide it, there must always be his reasons.

So Cui Zhannan sighed softly, and smiled at her: "Auntie, it's nothing, it's just that he encountered difficulties in his recent project, and he was under too much pressure, so he wanted to come back for two days."

"Really?"

"real."

The woman was dubious, but never mentioned it again.As soon as Cui Zhannan breathed a sigh of relief, Fu's mother asked him another question that made his heart ache:

"Xiao Cui, you have a good relationship with Xinglin, right? He always mentions you to us on the phone, saying that you take good care of him in City B. Then...do you know what Xinglin's partner looks like? Son?"

Cui Zhannan opened his eyes wide for a moment: "What?"

"The last time I came back, Xinglin told us that I made friends over there, and wanted to bring it back for us to see. I haven't believed it yet, so I decided to ask you about it."

The author has something to say:

Watching the Winter Olympics in the past few days, I am about to be pissed off by Xiao Xiba!