make zero with tears

Cui Zhannan didn't expect Fu Xinglin to explain to his parents so early.Even if Fu Xinglin didn't say that he was the one he was dating, except for not mentioning his name and gender, he, Cui Zhannan, had passed the show.

Boss Cui, who has always been heartless, is also a little uncomfortable at this time, and his mood is very complicated.This mixed emotion of surprise and guilt is completely unfamiliar to Cui Zhannan.

Cui Zhannan didn't answer Fu's mother's question directly, but passed it vaguely.I don't know why, but he feels inexplicably guilty when facing Fu's mother.Fortunately, Fu's mother didn't hold on to this problem all the time, and Cui Zhannan was able to breathe for a while.

"Xing Lin is excellent in everything, and he doesn't need me and his father to worry about everything, but he is slower than others in emotional matters. You don't know Xiao Cui, but you know that he has someone he likes. Don't mention how happy I am with his dad."

Cui Zhannan looked at the woman's simple face, feeling both warm and worried.I don't know what the two elders would think if they knew that the big man in front of them was the object of their son?

Moreover, Cui Zhannan also knows that not all parents are Chen Shuzhen and Cui Jiaxing, who can accept that his only son likes men.Even his own parents were against it at first, and they reluctantly accepted it after seeing through the years that he would not change.He looked at the woman's profile, and suddenly felt that there were still many difficulties in front of him and Fu Xinglin.

Cui Zhannan pursed his lower lip, his eyebrows twitched suddenly as if he suddenly remembered something, so he said in a casual tone as much as possible: "Auntie, let me tell you something interesting. I joked with Xinglin before that he was gay. I'm still in a hurry! You said that Xinglin is such a young kid, how can he sometimes act like an old-fashioned one? It's really fun..."

Cui Zhannan made up this topic dryly, and he didn't know if Fu's mother heard the implication.He... just wanted to test Fu Xinglin's mother's views on homosexuality.

Before Fu Xinglin hated homosexuality so much, he was afraid that the atmosphere in his home was like this.

What Cui Zhannan didn't expect was that the expression on Fu's mother's face suddenly froze after the words fell.Her face was a little pale, and the movement of cutting vegetables in her hands stopped.Cui Zhannan realized something was wrong, and immediately looked at Fu's mother.Because of nervousness, he unconsciously made a swallowing movement, and the frequency of his heartbeat was also a little chaotic.

During these few seconds, Cui Zhannan thought about countless possibilities.He even thought about how to deal with Fu Xinglin's parents if they strongly opposed them.It's just that he never expected that Fu's mother would say to him:

"Xiao Cui, from now on...don't make such jokes with Xinglin."

Cui Zhannan stared at the woman's face, feeling that those cloudy eyes were full of sadness and anger.Cui Zhannan didn't speak because he didn't know how to deal with it.

In comparison, Fu's mother seemed more flustered, she explained in embarrassment: "Xiao Cui, don't think too much, I don't mean anything else, it's because... because Xinglin encountered some bad things when he was young. So The word 'homosexual' is almost a taboo in our family. He must have been angry with you at the time, right? Please be considerate and considerate of him, don't blame him..."

When talking about this, Fu's mother didn't even dare to look directly into Cui Zhannan's eyes, and faint trembling could still be seen in her thin body.

Suddenly, Cui Zhannan remembered many things from the past.He used to think that Fu Xinglin's rejection of homosexuality exceeded the normal range, but he didn't think much about it at that time. After all, there are too many people who hate homosexuality in this world, and he only thought that Fu Xinglin was one of them.

He used to even think that Fu Xinglin might have been hurt by homosexuality, emotional hurt, etc., but he never thought about Fu Xinglin's inexplicable and strong dislike.But now, hearing Fu's mother say this, it seems that there is something hidden in it that he doesn't understand.

So Cui Zhannan stood up straighter and looked at Fu's mother: "Auntie, what happened to Xinglin to hate homosexuals so deeply? Can you... tell me?"

At first, Mother Fu just shook her head, as if unwilling to say more.But after a while of silence, she began to cry alone again.Cui Zhannan only felt that the uneasiness in his heart was getting stronger and stronger. After he repeatedly emphasized that he and Fu Xinglin had a deep relationship and promised that he would keep his mouth shut, Fu's mother finally revealed the secret with difficulty.

"When Xinglin was in junior high...he was molested by a pervert. If it hadn't happened that someone passed by that alley and rescued him, I wouldn't have dared to think what would have happened." Fu's mother's voice was trembling, "After that, Xinglin was Lied in the hospital for over a week and came out more silent than before. Then we moved and took him to new surroundings. He seemed to be getting better, but the thing...was always him, yes A scar in our whole family's heart. So Xiao Cui, if Xinglin says anything too much to you because of that joke, please don't argue with him. He, he..."

Mother Fu couldn't say the following words, and she didn't know how to say them.Tears blurred her vision, and she wiped her eyes several times before she could see the vegetables on the chopping board.

Cui Zhannan was standing beside Fu's mother, his body was as stiff as a sculpture.He only felt that the blood in his whole body seemed to flow backwards, and his limbs were cold.

It turned out...it was because of this reason.It turns out...it's the reason why it's so heavy.

No wonder he hated and rejected him so much at first, and even called him disgusting.Yeah, he's really disgusting, he feels disgusting for someone with such a trauma to say and do those things.

Cui Zhannan has always thought that liking someone is a very simple matter.Good-looking, nice voice, easy to get along with, or simply lonely, then it will be easy to fall in love with someone.

He never thought that liking would be a heavy thing.

But now he knows.It turned out that Fu Xinglin's liking for him was so heavy.

Carrying such a painful past and resisting the torment in his heart, how many psychological obstacles and pains did Fu Xinglin have to overcome before he decided to accept his feelings and like him?

like...a man.

Cui Zhannan didn't dare to imagine what kind of struggle Fu Xinglin had gone through before he made such a decision, and he also didn't dare to imagine what Fu Xinglin was thinking when they made it for the first time.

Would he remember that terrible night in his childhood?Cui Zhannan didn't dare to think whether what he had done to him had opened up his scars.Only now did he know how much Fu Xinglin had sacrificed and endured for him.

Fu Xinglin stepped on the sharp knife all the way and endured the excruciating pain before he walked to his side step by step with difficulty.But what did he do?

He belittled his feelings.He played with his sincerity.He did the most asshole thing in the world.

Those who live up to their sincerity deserve to swallow [-] needles.At this moment, Cui Zhannan finally felt the pain that seemed to tear apart his soul.

After Fu's mother finished speaking, she felt much more comfortable.She has held back these words for so many years, and it has almost become a stubborn disease in her heart.Fortunately, fortunately, there is still someone to listen to her heart.

Mother Fu raised her head, her expression was startled, and she was startled by Cui Zhannan's pale face.

"Xiao Cui, what's wrong with you? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Auntie, I'm fine." Cui Zhannan forced a smile at Fu's mother, "I'm a little out of breath, I, I want to go out to get some air, can I?"

"Of course! The smell of oily smoke in the kitchen is too strong, go out and get some fresh air!"

Cui Zhannan left the kitchen with a pale face and a little bit of embarrassment.He walked out of the house all the way, came under a walnut tree in the yard, sat down on the stone, stared at the ground in a daze.

In the past 29 years, Cui Zhannan has seen all kinds of scenes, big and small, and there are very few things that can make him lose his composure.But now...he just can't control his emotions.

He couldn't even pretend that nothing happened.

Cui Zhannan held each other's hands, as if this was the only way to stop the trembling of his arms.He gasped for breath, but even so, there was still a sharp pain in his chest.

Cui Zhannan didn't remember how long he sat there, anyway, he didn't feel it until it was dark.At this time, Fu's mother had finished cooking and came out to look for him.

"Is it better?"

Cui Zhannan stood up, moved his stiff and numb legs, and forced a smile: "It's much better."

"The food is ready, let's go in and eat." Mother Fu smiled and pulled him into the house, "Your uncle called me just now, saying that there was a sudden power outage at the school, and there will be no late self-study today. I guess the two of them will soon I can come back..."

Cui Zhannan was startled.

Finally seeing Fu Xinglin, he should be happy.But for some reason, he was a little timid at this moment.

Just after seven o'clock the door rang.Cui Zhannan immediately stood up and walked out with Fu's mother.

However, Father Fu was the only one who opened the door and entered the courtyard.

"Where's Xinglin?"

"Oh, when I passed Aunt Wang's house, I saw their little grandson hanging a kite on a tree. Xinglin helped pick it down, so I came back first... Eh? Xiao Cui? Why are you here?! "

Cui Zhannan smiled and greeted the man politely.

"Xiao Cui is here to look for our Xinglin." Mother Fu smiled and stepped forward, "Go into the room, the food is ready."

"That... Uncle, Auntie," Cui Zhannan rubbed his nose, "Eat first, I'll go out to find Xinglin."

Cui Zhannan went out the door by himself without waiting for the two to answer.Fu's father was still in some situations, and looked at his wife: "Why did Xiao Cui change his name to call us uncle and aunt? Didn't he say that he and Zheng'er called us uncle and aunt last time?"

The woman smiled: "Why are you still thinking about this? By the way, Xiao Cui doesn't know where Third Aunt Wang lives, so how can he find it?"

As soon as Cui Zhannan came out of the gate, he was in a daze. He was so busy coming out to meet Fu Xinglin that he forgot to ask which direction Third Aunt Wang's house was in.But he was embarrassed to turn back and ask again, so he had to follow the direction Fu Fu came back from along the road.

It was already dark at night, and there were no street lights on the rural roads. If Cui Zhannan didn't use his mobile phone to use a flashlight, he would be afraid of falling.However, as he walked, he found that he seemed to have lost his way.

So he stood in the middle of the path, looking around, trying to find the right direction.

At this moment, he vaguely saw a person walking in front of him, so Cui Zhannan walked up quickly:

"Hello, do you know where Third Aunt Wang lives?"

After the words fell, Cui Zhannan also walked in front of the man.He could only vaguely see that it was a tall and thin young man, and it was not good to shine a flashlight on someone's face out of politeness, so he didn't realize that something was wrong.

However, the young man stopped when he heard his voice.

Then Cui Zhannan heard a familiar voice asking uncertainly: "Brother Nan?"

The author has something to say:

Happy Valentine's Day~