In a dream

Fanwaiji

The cold wind was blowing hard, and the only piece of furniture in the dilapidated and low courtyard was the old wooden bed that had been around for decades.This is a courtyard house with many years of history. Because it has been abandoned for many years, no one lives in it and no one takes care of it. The tiles on the roof are broken, and the wooden doors and windows are also blown by the cold wind due to disrepair. whirring.

There was only a thin quilt full of musty smell on the bed. The woman pulled the quilt shyly, but her hands were blocked and her feet were exposed, so she had to shrink back.The winter night was dim, and there was a white candle at the foot of the bed that was almost burnt out. The woman remembered that it was left when her grandmother died when she was young, before she moved.Through the faint yellow light, the woman looked down at her daughter who was sleeping peacefully in her arms, she was so small and weak.From birth, she was frail and sickly, which made her shed tears.But even though she is so weak and small, she is still so beautiful, with thin lips, a small and tall nose and a small pointed chin.The most important thing is her eyes, which are so bright like her father's.The woman lowered her head and kissed the child's face, and the tears fell, big drops fell on the child's pale face, yes, the child is sick, the doctor said it was not a big problem , but she has to raise her well, it's just that things have come to an end now, her family is ruined, what should she use to raise this sickly child?

A woman doesn't regret it, she knows that man's suffering, she doesn't want to see him frowning, let alone see him making trouble at home because of her.But she hates it, and hates why there is no one who can tolerate her in this world. She just loves someone who also loves her... She hates but is powerless to resist, because of her resistance, originally because of Hard work led the whole family to move out of this dilapidated old farm house and replaced it with a small villa in the suburbs. His father was framed for illegal business and sentenced to death. He didn't understand who he had offended until he died. , Because of the death of his father, he fell into a desperate situation.She was originally a daughter of a wealthy family, but now she has fallen into a situation where she can't even pay for her child's medical treatment.

"Mu Yunzhi, you have to die, otherwise, I will never allow this child to enter Xie's house!" These were the last words the woman who came to her during the day said to her.

The woman closed her eyes, and the child in her arms seemed to be restless. Her breathing was a little short, and she coughed a few times while she was half asleep. She held her in her little hands and shouted, "Mom, I'm cold."She squeezed her arms even tighter, shivering and folded up the quilt on her lap and covered the child with her hands, gently patting her back to coax her to sleep.

Finally, the white candle burned out the last drop of wax, and the wick leaned softly in the muddy wax liquid, prickling and puffing out white smoke, and then went out.The woman looked at the thin puff of white smoke rising from the darkness, the tears in her eyes slowly dried up, replaced by calmness after despair.

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Seeing the daughter in the new padded jacket, the deep red padded jacket looked even paler against her pale skin, she squatted in front of her, and asked her with a doting smile in her eyes, "Do you like it?"

The little girl smiled, rolled her eyes and stretched her little arms. She walked around in front of her mother, and replied with a smile, "Mu Mu likes it very much. Thank you, Mom."

"As long as you like it..." The woman nodded and stood up, gently patted her daughter's head and rubbed her soft hair.She spent all the money on her body to buy a new jacket for the child, maybe she will spend a lonely year there...

"Mom, where are we going?" The cold wind was blowing, the little girl rubbed her face that was hurt by the blow, and trotted behind her mother with fast steps.She didn't know where her mother was going in such a hurry, but she obediently didn't ask, until she couldn't run anymore, she opened her mouth in a low voice.

This was the first time a woman didn't answer her daughter's question, she still walked forward in a hurry, and finally silently picked up her thin body and walked forward.

The little girl was lying in her mother's arms, looking up at her white face blown by the cold wind and her flushed eye sockets, she pursed her mouth in grievance, but finally did not cry.

Finally, the woman stopped at the door of an old house. The little girl pricked up her ears and heard the voices of many children talking inside.She was a little happy, maybe she could go in and see what they were playing?

"Mu Mu, my mother is going to buy you a small piece of bread. You can wait here for my mother, okay?" The woman put down the child in her arms, her fingertips trembling uncontrollably. , or for something else.The circles of her eyes were red, and the eye sockets were so dry that it seemed that she could no longer secrete a single tear.The slightly rough fingertips brushed the face of the little doll standing in front of him whose nose was red from freezing. "Put the photo in your pocket, and take this ball of paper. If mom doesn't come back late, give this to the police uncle, you know?"

The little doll felt a raw pain in her cheek, and her face was burning hot from the calloused shell of her mother's palm.But she didn't make any resistance movements, stretched out her hands, put her hands together and spread them out to take a piece of paper and a black and white photo that her mother put down.Looking at the group photo with his mother in his hand, the child stared straight at the woman.She felt that her mother was so strange today. She remembered that her cheeks were so wet when she was held in her arms by her mother last night, and her mother was crying, but she didn't know why.She hid in her mother's arms obediently, and counted her mother's heartbeats and sighs with her small and fragile heart: one, two, three. . .Then he fell asleep under the gentle pat of his mother.

Clumsily put the photo into the pocket of the new jacket, the paper in her hand was squeezed tightly into a ball, she stretched out her hand and the body wrapped in the thick new cotton jacket moved clumsily, but she still tried to stand on tiptoe He patted his mother's face with a dignified foot: "Mom, go, Mu Mu is not afraid. Mu Mu will always grow up obediently!"

As if the most embarrassing thing had been seen through, the woman burst into tears. On the cold winter morning, passers-by in twos and threes stopped to watch, but they all shook their heads and left after two or three minutes.

The little baby silently hugged her mother who was squatting in front of her with her stubby little arms. She didn't know why her mother was crying, she only knew that her left chest had some faint pain when her mother cried, and it quickly spread to her fingers. tip.At that time, she didn't understand that the pain was called ten fingers connected to the heart.

Soon, the woman hugged the baby's face and kissed her tender cheeks heavily, and got up: "Good boy, the note can only be given to the police uncle. Stand here and don't walk away, you understand?" Seeing her daughter Nodding sensiblely, the woman turned around and walked quickly and decisively into the cold wind and thick fog. The little baby stood there, staring at the direction in which the woman disappeared, until she could no longer see the shadow, then she screamed One voice: "Mom."

"Someone jumped off the building in front of the department store, it was a young woman!"

"It's a pity that such a beautiful woman, what's wrong with her? It's almost Chinese New Year, so she just died."

"Yes, yes, it's so high, how much courage does it take to jump off? What a crime..."

As the fog dissipated, the sky gradually became brighter, and there were more pedestrians on the street.Something big happened in the neighborhood today, a beautiful woman just jumped to her death from a nearby department store.This news spread quickly around like a news headline. Why the young woman chose to die in such an extreme way became a topic of discussion.

A child stood at the door of the orphanage in the cold wind.Her face was flushed by the wind, her eyes were half-closed, and her small body was wrapped in a cotton jacket, making her look so small.She stood there fixedly looking into the distance, with erratic eyes, no one knew who she was waiting for, no one knew what she was looking at.She shrank her neck, tucked her small hands into her sleeves, and squeezed tightly.There was a small ball of paper in it, and no one knew who gave it to her, but she just held it tightly, unwilling to let go.

"Little friend, what's your name?" The aunt of the orphanage opened the gate and saw the little girl shivering from the cold at the door. There seems to be a drop of dew left by the mist on the lips, and the thin lips are not as rosy as a child should be, but more white and purple.

The little girl stood there, looked at the strange aunt in front of her with a scared expression, and then turned her head timidly to look in the original direction. She was waiting for her mother who said she would buy bread for her but never came back.

The aunt of the orphanage looked in the direction she was looking, and there was nothing but a continuous stream of pedestrians.The child was beautiful and delicate but looked sickly. She frowned and guessed that this child might be another abandoned child. "What's your name kid?"

The corner of the little girl's mouth twitched, but she still didn't speak, the ball of paper in her hand was a little sweaty from being pinched, but she never let go.

Finally, the police received a suicide note from the woman who jumped off the building. Following the content written in the suicide note, they found the little girl who was still standing in the cold wind at the gate of the orphanage. From the time the woman jumped off the building to when they found her, there were three When I was young, the little girl stood there motionless, and finally smiled and spread her hands in front of the police who came and said with a smile, "Mom told uncle..."

"Little friend, what's your name?" The police officer who handled the case squatted in front of the little girl, took off the hat on her head and put it on her head to see her pouting mouth and red eyes who refused to let tears flow down. His eyes were piercing, the woman died so badly, he couldn't think of anything that could make a woman cruelly abandon such a beautiful daughter as him and choose to die.

"My name is Mu Elegy, and my mother calls me Mu Mu." The little girl finally opened her mouth, but the moment she spoke, she couldn't hold back her tears. She seemed to have guessed something, but she didn't know what it was. what does it mean...

Before the girl's father was found according to the woman's suicide note, she was placed in the orphanage where her mother said goodbye to her last. Because she was frozen in the cold wind for too long, she became seriously ill and almost died. After being rescued, she became even more unwilling to speak than when she first entered the orphanage. Later, she was the first to see her aunt at the entrance of the orphanage when she was cleaning up the dishes after arranging the children's breakfast. I saw her lowering her head and touching something preciously in front of a table, and sneaked a closer look: it was a newspaper from the day after the woman jumped off the building. The blurry black and white photo could vaguely see the outline of the woman and the big beach under her body. Blood.

A month later, the little girl's father took her away after donating a large number of new and old children's toys to the orphanage.Everyone knew that her father was the son of a well-known boss at the time, surnamed Xie.

The author has something to say: ...The most important thing is to give yourself encouragement, come on!