straight to heaven

Pei Yanlai lives in a high-end apartment complex with excellent security, and no one is taking her with her, so it is impossible for me to get in.

I stopped two meters behind him, and he took out a palm-sized blue card from his pocket.

A pair of hands with well-defined bones and smooth lines swipe the sensor, and the small LED light flashes twice, changing from red to blue.With a crisp "beep" sound, the tall and cold iron door slowly opened.

The security guard was a middle-aged man. He was sitting and smoking in the room. The air conditioner was blowing warm air at 27 degrees, and the glass cage was fogged randomly.Seeing me, he pinched his cigarette, opened the door and stuck his head out into the cold wind.

I was not close to Pei Yanlai, my face was raw again, and there was a strange uneasiness in my expression.The security guard probably regarded me as some kind of thieves plotting evil and tried to block me out.

He frowned, with a bad expression on his face: "One card, one person."

The wind was very strong, and at this time, it whimpered and blew.

I looked at him, then looked at Pei Yanlai's back, guilty and afraid of saying the wrong thing, so I just shut up.I was embarrassed, I just took my hands out of my pockets like a fool, and stupidly put on a calm and determined look.

Perhaps it was because he was not in a good mood, Pei Yanlai seemed somewhat indifferent.

"Hello." He pointed to me. "I brought it."

There was a "bang" in my chest, and my heart rate was a little irregular, which made my throat tight.

He brought it - it sounded like it said "we" and also that he and I were "together".The nerve-wrapping tentacles of subtle pleasure and absurd smugness make me shudder.

The security guard was quite dedicated to his duties. Hearing this, he still hesitantly took out the uniformly distributed cowhide book from his hand, held a black gel pen, and wanted to pass it to me.

He insisted: "Then you have to register."

The "Unknown Visitor Registration Form" has so many columns that it takes a bit of work to fill it out.

I intend to take it over, but I am very sensitive to Pei Yanlai's gaze.

His gaze was nowhere to be found.

The confrontation with his mother should have exhausted his interest in acting, and he didn't even bother to act anymore.He didn't talk to the security any more, grabbed the hood of my coat with one hand, dragged me and threw me into the door.

It was rude, outrageous, and unreasonable.

The security guard's hands were still frozen there: "Hey, you..."

I was forced to take two steps backwards, facing the astonished security guard, the muscles on my face twitched a few times, and I forced out an unskilled smile in embarrassment.

Step through the iron gate.

"This is my guest." Pei Yanlai repeated, "I brought him here."

In just a few minutes, it was the second time I heard that phrase.The clumsy heart almost jumped, and the back of the neck that was being pulled was also starting to go numb.

He only let go after half pulling and half dragging into the community.

I felt that my clothes were disheveled, and after tidying up in a fake manner, I asked, "Is it okay to leave the register unfilled? Since the security guards have rules, it's not good if they don't listen."

I don't think the question is stupid, but Pei Yanlai ignored me.

This road is very long, and I just take half a step behind me.

From a quarter of an hour to eight o'clock, some families ate dinner late, and they were still cooking at this time, and the smell of oily smoke and spicy peppers wafted out, making me want to cry again.

He walked fast, and I was forced to increase my pace.

"Pei..." I sniffed and asked, "Which building do you live in?"

Who is making chili stuffed meat, I couldn't help but reach out and wipe the corner of my eyes.

No one answered.

It is bright under the street lamp, but the shadow behind the light is obscure.I lowered my head, but the two shadows side by side on the ground were far apart.

"Visitors brought in by residents don't need to fill in, so don't worry about it."

I thought he wouldn't speak tonight, and my mind was no longer on that watch. I was stunned for a few seconds before I answered slowly.

Probably doesn't look very smart.

"You also live alone?" Probably because the situation is similar.I thought of his mother's car going in the opposite direction, and this surmised in my mind.

"Yeah." Pei Yanlai answered straightforwardly.

He was a little unsettled, his lowered eyes didn't know what he was looking at, and he inadvertently let out a breath of hot air, which condensed into a fuzzy and fragile shape in the air.

I didn't answer any more, I just added "Long Live Alone" in my heart.

Stopping in front of a unit door, Pei Yanlai turned around with obvious meaning.

It's time for me to get out.

I didn't expect to be able to enter the room.For a creature like Pei Yanlai, allowing a piece of shit like me to invade his domain is a fantasy.

"Then I'm leaving." I said.

He gave a short laugh, as if he had heard a joke, "Then I'll see you off?"

"If you want, you can." I don't know where the courage came from to retort.

Pei Yanlai raised his eyelids calmly: "Lin Xiaoshan."

It's dying.

He called me by my name in a very sexy way, like Lucifer who had escaped from heaven calling his followers. Even if I knew it was the devil's whisper, I couldn't resist it.

My mouth passed my head first, and I blurted out subconsciously, as cowardly as a husband who was in bed: "I was wrong. You go upstairs, and I'll leave later."

Pei Yanlai didn't say a word, she just kept her pocket and looked at me with her head tilted.

I swallowed, and took two steps back: "... right away, I'm leaving right away."

Pei Yan came to glance at me, turned around and finished unlocking the combination lock, and the corridor door closed without even leaving me behind.

Half a minute later, a light came on in one of the upstairs rooms.

The security didn't stop me this time, he didn't even come out of the security room.

The building where Pei Yanlai lived was the closest to the road next to the fence of the community.There were no public benches by the fence, and I squatted nearby for a long time before going home on my stiff feet.

Joke, be obedient, I am not me.

It's just that that acquiescence was like a small crack in the iron wall because of the sudden cold, and it was quietly closed before I had time to notice it.

After that is the winter vacation.I can't see him, but I want to see him.

I specially bought binoculars. After dark, I would sneak to the fence, sit, squat and stand, and watch from the window.If you are lucky, you can hear him playing the violin before nightfall.

Listening to songs, he likes Vivaldi, the four seasons are constant, and it is difficult to stay in four seasons.

It's funny to say that the marble balls on the sidewalk have been smoothed by me for a few days.

At the age of 28, my mother called.

She greeted her warmly, and I responded perfunctorily a few times.

After two or three minutes of meaningless conversation, she asked, "Do you want to come here and celebrate the New Year with me and Gao Kai?"

Gao Kai is her current boyfriend, a young and handsome multi-gold elite in the management of a well-known local law firm.Looking at the material conditions alone, she is indeed worthy of a mother like a fairy.

My mother has never been sly, and she confessed her intentions without waiting for me to question her.

"Your Uncle Gao wants to meet you, he mentioned it."

I didn't want to meet my mother's boyfriend whom I didn't know very well. I couldn't think of other adjectives to describe the scene that gave me the chills other than embarrassment and embarrassment.

"No."

My refusal didn't make waves, she said "Oh", and then asked again: "Really not coming?"

"Why? Do you like him so much?" She rarely repeated this question a second time.

She was silent for a rare moment, and then said to me, "Honey, I'm going to get married this time."

To be honest, I was numb for a moment when I heard this, as if a mountain had come down from the front door, and it just happened to block my mouth and nose.

Damn, she's really my mother.

I have been avoiding it for so many years, and the scar that I dare not tear off was torn off by her own hands, revealing the unhealed flesh and blood inside.After the rupture, it is still bleeding pus.

The phone was hung up by me.

Never has I realized more than now that I am human, and selfishness and weakness are by nature.

The desire to retch rushed straight up, making my stomach ache.I slammed into the toilet and vomited in the dark while holding the toilet. In the end, I could only spit out a few mouthfuls of extremely acidic gastric juice.

After rinsing my mouth and washing my face, I reflected myself in the mirror of the sink.I slapped myself.

Too embarrassed.

I was so embarrassed that I didn't want to take a second look.

I sat back on the sofa and my phone buzzed.I picked it up and looked, but she didn't call me back, only sent a text message.

--A new batch of sachets made in the store, filled with traditional Chinese medicine, can sleep peacefully and clear the mind, and I will send you across the city in the morning.Gao Kai felt that you were under a lot of academic pressure, so he specially reminded me to stay.

Check it out.

She intended to make me have a good impression of this Uncle Gao, but she never thought that this "reminder" would only make me feel more cold from the soles of my feet.

Coincidentally, the doorbell rang at this very threshold, and the person standing at the door was indeed a Flashman in uniform, holding a small and delicate box in his hand.

"Is it Mr. Lin Xiaoshan? Ms. Xu's express mail, please sign for it."

I have a face that is not easy to get close to, and now the coldness is still there, my eyes are red, and the water stains on my face have not been wiped off, I look fierce, causing the messenger to take a step back.

"I don't accept it, please send it back."

The flash sender was a little embarrassed: "But..."

I lowered my eyes and wanted to refuse.But at this moment, the words "Peaceful sleep and pure heart" appeared repeatedly in the message.

I cursed in a low voice for being useless, then took the form and courier's signature.

"Is this okay?"

The flash messenger was caught off guard by my sudden change of attitude. As if afraid that I would regret it, he quickly withdrew the order, said, "Okay", and left.

I close the door.

A pack of seven traditional Chinese medicine sachets, I give them a long look.

For several mornings, I squatted downstairs in Pei Yanlai's house.In the lens of the telescope, he stood on the balcony, eyes lowered, plucking the strings of the violin all night bored.

If this sachet can really sleep peacefully...

I want to give it to him.