straight to heaven

Sitting at the same table with Pei Yanlai was not as thrilling as I imagined.

In the second semester of the second year of high school, there are many competitions in various subjects.Pei Yanlai was a top-notch student in science, and the two top 2 schools in the capital opened up their training camps to him. Since February, the number of times he has appeared in school can be counted on two hands.

I know how much I am and how much I am, my alumni can't do it, and staying in different places is my last struggle.With this in mind, I took the initiative to sign up for the National Composition Competition, but fortunately, I got pretty good rankings in both the preliminary round and the semi-final round.

The National Composition Competition was scheduled for the May Day holiday, and I took the high-speed train to the capital with two senior girls in my third year of high school.

On the second day of the game, the time limit is three hours.I was full of ideas, and I handed in the paper in two hours.After leaving the examination room, I took the subway for half an hour to reach the gate of the High School Affiliated to Yanda University——Pei Yanlai has been training here for half a month.

I contacted Pei Yan to come out for lunch, and he responded with a full stop.After seeing people every half a month, he now has two dark circles under his eyes which are rare.

...It still looks good, I can't save it.

"You haven't slept in a few days." I asked.

This Korean restaurant is located in the century square on the second ring road. There are so many people that we can only squeeze into a small corner.

The table is square, and the two adjacent sides are against the wall. Pei Yanlai and I can only sit in the mahjong table, which is a bit cramped.

Before the meal was served, he yawned and said, oh, I slept for three hours in three days.

Not exaggerating, my pouring hand shook a bit.If I had known that I wouldn't call him out for dinner, I might as well catch up on sleep if I had this time.

Pei Yanlai seemed to guess what I was thinking, propped his chin lazily, and glanced at me.

"My roommate is snoring and grinding her teeth." Now his air pressure has picked up, his expression is calm, and he can't see that he is unhappy: "I'll be back in two days, let's make do."

When Pei Yanlai's sleep quality is extremely low, she will be in a bad mood.I thought I had become familiar with Pei Yanlai, and now I also learned how to pull his ghost into the left ear and out of the right ear.

"Waiter." I frowned: "Please hurry up to order."

I have an overly cold and gloomy face, the waiter retreats when confronted with violence, and nodded in panic.The big Buddha next to him laughed inexplicably. When I looked at him, he straightened the corners of his mouth again.

"Close your eyes and rest for a while. I'll call you when the food is ready." I took out the earphones from my pocket and threw them to him.Seeing him lazily stuffing it into his ears, he played Vivaldi's "Four Seasons".

When the music started, he raised his brows lightly, and it took him a long time to say "hmm".When he closed his eyes, he showed a bit of fragile fatigue.

It took another 20 minutes before the dishes were ready. I made up my mind to give this restaurant a bad review on the software while turning off the music.

... The violin music stopped, but Pei Yanlai did not move.

I thought he was very tired, and he didn't want to talk to me at the moment, so he didn't make a sound, and just took off the earphone lightly.Unexpectedly, just after putting the headphone cable into the bag, Pei Yan tilted her head and was about to fall down.

With quick eyesight and quick hands, I caught it subconsciously.

——Pei Yanlai actually fell asleep with my hand on his head.

The movements were deadlocked for about 10 minutes, and Pei Yanlai didn't wake up until I almost turned into a sculpture that could not be melted away by the wind.Pei Yanlai looked tired, and said after a while: "I fell asleep."

It's like a question, but not quite.

I withdrew my hand, and the bones made a slight sound: "Well, you fell asleep."

He grabbed my wrist and fiddled with it twice without saying anything.

After a meal, depending on the time, I should go back to the hotel to pack my luggage and catch the high-speed train in the afternoon.

Before we parted, Pei Yan came and asked me to stay where I was.I thought he was going to the toilet and was sitting on the head of the dwarf sculpture at the entrance of the mall.

At this time, the traffic in the shopping mall is neither big nor small, and passers-by are in a hurry, and no one cares about me.I buried my face in my hands and took a deep breath.

The smell of Pei Yanlai's shampoo still lingers on my hands. I smelled it on the down jacket that Pei Yanlai slept on.

He often uses "straight to heaven", the top note is sweet, the back note is sedate and sexy, but the shampoo is surprisingly refreshing, I smell it carefully, like sea salt mint.Two puffs are enough.I rubbed my face guiltily, trying to cover up my perverted behavior just now.

The neckline suddenly strangled my Adam's apple, and my breathing was stagnant, and I realized that something heavy had been smashed into the hood of the sweater.

I hurriedly took my hands away, and the first thing I saw was Pei Yanlai looking at the phone, and then I took out a small folding umbrella and a large cup of passion fruit double ring gun from my hat.

"Go," he said.

In the capital city in May, there is a big sun, and I am the happiest person in the city drinking cold drinks in the weather of more than 20 degrees.

At around five o'clock in the evening, I got off the high-speed train on the return trip.The parents of the two senior girls were picked up at the exit, and I, who was seventeen or eighteen, had a different personality and didn't fit in.

Without a word of politeness, I pushed the suitcase to leave, but the mother of a senior sister stopped me enthusiastically.

"Hey, classmate, where do you live? I came here by car. If I drop by, I'll see you off."

I am not good at dealing with unreasonable kindness, so I declined with a little embarrassment: "Thank you, no need."

She looked hesitant: "But it suddenly rained outside, did you bring an umbrella? Otherwise, I can take you to the taxi gate one kilometer away. It's easy to get sick when you're drenched on this day."

I was taken aback: "...is it raining?"

The father of another senior sister seemed to be a little hostile towards me, as if he was afraid that I would seduce his girl, but he also answered at this time: "Yeah, the weather was sunny yesterday, and it was said to rain heavily this morning, and it started to rain after one o'clock. gone."

I grabbed the bag hard, my fingertips turned white, and I wanted to laugh, but because I was unskilled, I could only curl the corners of my mouth stiffly.

"No need, Auntie." It seemed that my throat was hit by the cup of passion fruit double shot at this time, and my vocal cords tightened: "I, I have an umbrella."

I unpacked the foldable umbrella without the label, and it took me more than half an hour to walk for a kilometer.

Pei Yanlai's "go home in two days" is really a serious vague approximation.

I thought he would be able to return to school after the May Day holiday, but I didn't expect that the seat next to me was still vacant on the first day of school.

The English class after three days is arranged in the first session in the afternoon.My English is not bad, and teachers usually don't pay much attention to me.At the beginning of this class, the teacher turned off the lights, drew the curtains, and played a documentary about the air crash on the multimedia.

On the podium, she was saying, "Look carefully, and I will catch my classmates to answer the questions later, and it will be embarrassing if I can't answer them."

Not far away, someone was answering the call, and said in a cadence, "Got it."

Then there was a low laugh, like a rice field blown by the wind.

I nestled in the last row drowsy.Feeling stuffy, he half-prostrated on the table and lifted a corner of the curtain to look out.

The sweet air rushes in from that gap, refreshing people's spirits.

Outside the window is the back mountain, and the classroom is on the fifth floor. From my perspective, I can see two magpies flying in the woods.It has a long tail and a beautiful blue body, and you can faintly hear chirping calls, which is very cute.

I fixed the curtains with a book, tore off a piece of homework paper with English fonts, and drew a general outline with a few strokes on it.

When I was young, the aunt who took care of me could draw, and would teach us some fur in my spare time, so my children's drawing is not bad, and these small animals can also be shaped like them.

Halfway through the painting, I felt dissatisfied, so I crumpled up the ball of paper and threw it aside, and tore off a sheet to rethink and write.

But before he could trace only half of it, the tip of the pen was suddenly covered by a shadow.

It's too late to stop.

The English teacher, who just finished her maternity leave, was nimble and quick to take away the painting.

Without giving me a chance to argue, she remotely paused the content of the video, stood beside me and patted my shoulder.

"Come on, Lin Xiaoshan, please summarize what the family member of the victim just said."

I stood up reluctantly, and the eyes of the whole class were all focused on me in an instant.

……Help.

If you let me talk about how many times the two birds called outside, I might be able to tell one, two, three, four, but I have no idea what the family members said in the video.

Playing dumb is my last dignity.

I don't know how to break the deadlock, and there is a knock on the classroom door.The door opened, and the center of sight finally shifted.I am no exception.

——Pei Yanlai is back.

The summer school uniform is worn inside, the school uniform jacket is not zipped, and the sleeves are half rolled up, revealing a small section of strong and beautiful forearm line, which not only looks beautiful on the court, but is even more fierce in places where others don't know.

I was really smoked by lust.

Even though I was still being punished to stand still, my mind was getting more and more sidetracked.

As soon as he interrupted, the teacher's face softened a little.

"Comein, please." She took my painting and walked past Pei Yanlai: "Sit down, Lin Xiaoshan, and listen carefully to the class. How old are you and you still have to draw birds in class? Should I send you back to kindergarten The big class needs to be rebuilt."

As soon as the words fell, there were small, suppressed titters in the class.

I sat down without a temper, Pei Yan came to take out the book, and gave me a suspicious look.

He and I met our eyes, and thinking about the incident just now, it would be a lie to say that we are not ashamed.I looked away urgently, but the heat crept up to my ears. Fortunately, the classroom is very dark, so I bet he couldn't see it.

Before get out of class ends, the teacher assigns homework for tonight and asks everyone to go back and write a [-]-word composition with the theme of suicide note.

It was a very unconventional question. I heard the front desk yelling "I can't take the exam", and I heard someone answer "Yes, this is a waste of time".

I turned the pen around twice, only to feel that this world is really unromantic.

The teacher was still grabbing my "canvas" before going out, she coughed twice, and suppressed whispering.

"I gave birth to a pair of twins three months ago. They are two girls. They are very cute. They have been separated from my womb and have legal rights since then." She paused for a while and continued: "During the production process I was bleeding heavily during the attack, and the doctor gave me a critical illness three times. At that moment, I was very close to death, but my mind was empty."

The restlessness was calm, and the classroom fell into a thick silence.

"The first thing I think about when I wake up is that I have to write a suicide note. The content may have nothing to do with movable or real property, but there must be this moment when I say goodbye to the world."

"As the family members of the deceased in the air crash said just now, 'Deathisthebusinessoftheliving'. The deceased was also a living person before he rested, and the living people who were left behind have to bear the pain of longing. Although death It is a dimension far beyond the reach of human beings' current thinking, but we have to take the time to look at it with short-sighted eyes."

"So, write a suicide note, or try to write your own epitaph. In order to dig out all the 'comes' you have experienced, and leave a 'going' without regrets for those who love you and you love."

She turned to leave, but the silence lasted for a long time.

Yes.

Life and death are too heavy, and many times there is no time to think before grasping it.

That afternoon, I fell into some distant and vague memories, my mind was heavy, and my neck was hurting.

The next day, she corrected the "last words" of the entire class, and the class representatives sent them back to her desk one by one.

When I came back from the toilet, I found Pei Yan with my homework paper.Before I could move, Pei Yanlai handed it back to me naturally.

I wanted to say something, but was interrupted by the school committee.

"Squad leader, you have the highest score in English composition in our class, right? My score is not too high this time, can I borrow it and return it to you tomorrow?"

Pei Yan said hello.

"..."

In fact, I originally wanted to say, you have read mine, so it is not too much for me to read yours, right?

I made a mistake and was preempted by the school committee. I only saw the sentence "Wearelikeolives, crushedtoreleasetheessence" during the handover, and the title was the epitaph.

I have a wooden face, a little depressed.

"I didn't want to take a peek, so I took a quick glance." Pei Yanlai said suddenly.He was actually explaining to me.

This is not necessary.

Who is he, Pei Yanlai?I'm not that narcissistic.

As a result, the next sentence, he said: "Love death and life?"

I was blinded by his combination of punches, and I thought that it was Pei Yanlai who saw more than anyone else with just one glance, and he saw my last paragraph clearly.

Before school was over, he had his schoolbag on his back, and I couldn't help calling him: "Pei Yan is here."

He casually took out another piece of homework paper. There was no trace of corrections. It should be a waste manuscript, and he threw it on my desk: "Look."

I picked it up and looked at it, and asked, "That's it?"

He had already walked a few steps, stopped again, and chuckled: "That's it."

On the side where the words were written, there were only two words lying quietly.

"Goodnight."

? Aleph Zero

Weare like olives, crushed to release the essence: We are like olives, crushed to release the essence. —Hrabal, "Too Loud Loneliness"