straight to heaven

A week later, Pei Yan came back to school, Sun Tingzhou had his own place, and neither Lin Hui nor my mother showed up again.

Calm and calm.

At least it seems to be.

To my disappointment, Pei Yanlai didn't show any special emotion towards my mottled blue and red face.I didn't think about the hypocritical concern, but I didn't even say a word of unnecessary cynicism, which still made me a little frustrated.

If you want to have some sweetness by his side, m-shaking is indeed a must-have attribute.

I changed my mind again to explain myself: even an experienced bead fetcher would be helpless with this clam, let alone me.

It will soon be my mother's wedding, but unfortunately, the last grand sports meeting in my life was postponed to this day because of consecutive days of heavy rain and stagnant water.

The events I applied for were triple jump and 2000 meters. I asked the sports committee, and he checked the flow sheet and said that the inspections started after four o'clock in the afternoon.

After weighing the two, I decided to rush back to school after attending the noon ceremony. As for the dance party arranged for the relatives and friends of both parties... I'd better run away.

I can't dance, I don't have a dress, I don't have a sweet mouth and I'm not good at socializing. I only know my mother in the audience. I can't just kick Gao Kai away and drag my mother to dance the third set of crappy radio gymnastics.

I understand that no matter how spacious the banquet hall is, there will be no room for Lin Xiaoshan.The only special treatment is probably that there is no accompanying money.

I walked into the banquet hall wearing a jacket and sneakers. The banner at the door was a flower wall of "Xu Yun" and "Gao Kai" who had been together for a hundred years. On the welcome picture, my mother smiled very beautifully.

In fact, in my impoverished childhood, the image of my mother was always bleak.Almost every time we met, her tears flowed like a shower head turned on, and the switch was not in my hand.

I often ask her where have you been.

Such questions were never answered.She just wiped her plain face with the back of her hand and asked me, did that bastard hit you again?

Living under the shadow of Lin Hui, I had learned at that time what it means to play by ear, depending on the situation.She looked at me like a dry well, as if if I nodded, she would take me to die.

I was in pain, but I still wanted to live, so I told him that I don't see Lin Hui very much, so I'm fine.

At first she was supposed to want to hug me, but in the end she didn't.

In those first years, and in the years that followed, I never saw her smile like this.

I stood silently at the reception area for a long time, until the aunt who collected the bill noticed me and asked who I was, and was it a gift to the woman?

Auntie should be my mother's close friend, but the number of times I meet her is limited, so how can I know the men and women she befriended all over the world.

The rose wall is close at hand, crowded together in clusters.The exquisite and romantic love surrounded me, and I felt that I was about to suffocate several times.

After being in a daze for a while, I replied, "I am Xu Yun's son."

"Ah." Her slightly surprised expression was quickly covered up, and she greeted very warmly: "You are Xiaoshan, right? Oh, the young man is tall and handsome, very similar to Yunyun. Come in, the ceremony is about to begin. "

I nodded.

In fact, I am more like Lin Hui.

Gao Kai's family background is rich, and the whole banquet was of high standard, so he knew that it cost a lot of money.

The men and women who attended the wedding banquet were all glamorous, and even children aged seven or eight were using the most popular mobile phones nowadays.

—I don’t know any of them.

Sitting in the assigned seats, the ceremony has just begun.

The master of ceremonies came on stage neatly with a microphone, and the orchestra invited from the audience played elegant art that I couldn’t understand. My mother’s father passed away very early, and she dragged her skirt to the stage from the long corridor.She doesn't need me.

I peel back the golden foil that covers the ferrero in the tray.

The chocolate shattered between my lips and teeth, but my taste buds were out of tune when my mother and Gao Kai said emotional "I do" and exchanged saliva from lips to lips.Obviously the sugar and fat content is high, but I only feel bitter and astringent at the base of my tongue, and even my stomach starts to pan sour.

The ceremony is over and the banquet begins.

The tall and elegant Gao Kai hugged my mother and toasted.My mother's main dress is a pearl white tube top mermaid skirt, which perfectly outlines the beautiful curves of her figure. The toast dress is a red folded collar skirt with an irregular skirt, which makes her skin feel like jade Yingbai.

The two toasted a circle of wine, and finally came to my side.By this time, the few people at the same table with me noticed my existence belatedly.

The woman sitting directly opposite me is Gao Kai's own sister, whom I have seen in the photo.Gao Kai was originally younger than my mother, and his younger sister was even younger, looking about 25 or [-] years old.

"I wanted to ask just now, this is...?" She tilted her head and looked at me with an unaffected charm.

I picked up my wine glass and stood up. When Gao Kai introduced "This is Yunyun's child, named Xiaoshan, and we will be a family from now on", I imitated Pei Yan with poor acting skills, and forced out a stiff smile, pretending With a graceful gesture, he clinked glasses with the two newcomers.

As soon as the wine glass hit, I did it first.The white wine burned my throat, my throat was burning and my eyes were sore.

I praised her without hesitation, you are beautiful today.

My mother stared at me for a long time without saying a word, and her eyes suddenly turned a little red.

It's not much, but I'm still loved.

I thought so in my heart, and then walked up to her in my arms.My shoulders were broad enough to hold her in my arms, growing mature and reliable, but she never cared.

Or maybe they once cared, but because they were too young to be a mother, because of that failed and painful marriage experience, because of my reticence and reluctance to be intimate, they finally chose to seal me into a box.Just like I did to Lin Hui.

She hugged me back and said, thank you for coming to my wedding.I could smell the rose water on the side of her neck, which no longer coincided with the smell of my mother in my first memory, and at that moment, something was stripped from my body.

It can't be said to be painful, nor can it be said to be easy-losing something before you have it, the taste is always bitter.

I let go of her and said, Miss Xu, happy wedding, I wish you happiness forever.

I am always grateful to her.

But in the end, I couldn't call out the sound of mother.

Tears were evident in the corners of her eyes.

She turned sharply.

Stepping on the sparkling light on the carpet, she stepped into the new life step by step.

——It’s just that there is no shadow of me after that.

Back to school is three o'clock in the afternoon.

The coat smelled of alcohol and tobacco, and I threw it in the stands.On the way to the 2000-meter inspection, Geng kept catching up from behind.

"Bad, can you do it?"

I knew what he was worried about, so I tapped his shoulder twice: "I can't do it any more."

It's full of big talk, but what's so fucking crazy is that Pei Yanlai also applied for this project, and by coincidence, he was assigned to the same group as me.The number is connected before and after, and the runway is attached to the runway.

When I stood on track [-], he was warming up on the waiting field, dealing with the flirting with his buddies on track [-].

Calm and calm, with ease.He grasped the measure of communication, so that people would not feel indifferent, nor would people mistakenly think that he and he had really become friends.So pretentious, yet so logical.

I moved my ankles and called out to him.

"Pei Yan is here."

Before a long-distance race, I obviously shouldn't be distracted, but the gene of jealousy is engraved in my DNA, and it is especially difficult to control with the help of alcohol.I wanted to grab his attention: "My mom is getting married today, and she looks great in a wedding dress."

I never mentioned it to him, and today was the first time.

"So." Pei Yanlai looked down at me, probably thinking that I was sending some useless information again.

I rarely have the idea of ​​provoking Pei Yanlai.

But Jiu Zhuang is cowardly, I blindly think that on the day of my mother's second wedding, I should be the most lucky.

I took a deep breath and said, "I want to be number one."

Pei Yanlai smiled calmly, "Want me to take it?"

underestimate me?

With liquor on top, my adrenaline was at its peak like never before.

I approached, crossed the line, and crossed the boundary recklessly. Something wanted to break through the ground, and something was crumbling.

"No." I pinched his chin with one hand, boldly, and told him, "I'll take it."

The starting gun was fired, and if blood could burn, it would probably have risen to a hundred degrees.

But my brain was clearer than ever.

2000 meters, a total of five laps.

I gritted my teeth and lived for 18 years. I was hospitalized three times by Lin Hui’s domestic violence. As far as I can remember, I have seen my mother more than 40 times, and I have followed Pei Yanlai’s back for 760 days.

Now, the crimson runway is like a dragon's tail. In my stomach, I am still digesting the second marriage wine and Ferrero, and there are bursts of shouts and screams for whom I don't know.

Pei Yanlai was in front of me for a while, and beside me for a while...

This time, I don't want to be just behind him, chasing his back like a headless chicken, and hiding in the blind corner of his sight forever, like a piece of damp and dark moss.

I want him to see me.

I'm going to the front.