Dumb Earth Find Love

The action was taken immediately, but Deng Tinghao seemed to relax, and never mentioned anything related to the case.Duan saw the refreshed look on his face, so he was too embarrassed to ask more questions, otherwise he would really look dumb.So he had no choice but to think hard about what kind of drum Deng Tinghao was playing, while silently observing Deng Tinghao's expression, hoping that he could catch a little nervousness that the other party hadn't had time to pretend to be.

However, what makes Ah-Dai feel sad is that Boss Deng is really calm, very calm, the kind of calm humming a ditty.

The car didn't drive home according to the optimal route, but circled around the spacious outer ring where there was no traffic for the time being, and then went around and shuttled in the street below without interruption.Boss Deng euphemistically called it "Take the aliens to visit the big capital", and kept chatting with Dumb about some things, so that Dumb had no chance to concentrate on thinking about the follow-up of the case.

The car rushed up the viaduct, and Deng Tinghao turned on the stereo in the car, and pleasant soft music streamed out immediately.Deng Tinghao took a look in the rearview mirror, and then asked in a good mood: "By the way, Dumb, do you know what I suddenly thought of when I bought you meat buns just now?"

"what?"

"I thought of Sprite. Sprite is a Samoyed raised by Li Mingkai's family. Oh yes, Samoyed is a little bitch. To put it bluntly, it is a kind of animal on earth, very cute and kind."

"Hmm..." Dui nodded, repeated the rather strange name of Sprite several times, and then asked, "Why did you think of it?"

"Haha..." Deng Tinghao couldn't help laughing: "I just suddenly remembered that Sprite has a lot of food... Oh, although it can't be compared with you, but it is also very amazing among dogs of the same age Sprite loves to eat braised pork ribs and yogurt. Li Mingkai, a stingy man, thinks that people eat too much and spend a lot of money. He is not willing to feed Sprite with meat and milk every day, so he puts two smaller than a pickle plate next to the dog rice bowl Plates, put a little yogurt in one, a small piece of bone meat in the other, and then a big bowl of canned dog dog biscuits, and it turned out that Sprite, who is so innocent and easy to deceive, really enjoyed eating it."

"Oh...so what?" Duan looked at Deng Tinghao's treacherous expression, and inexplicably had a bad premonition.

Deng Tinghao swallowed, pondered for a while, and then sincerely suggested: "I suddenly figured out how to feed you sustainably. In the future, we will do the same. You can't refuse to eat out just because you eat a lot. Isn’t it lowering the quality of life? From now on, let’s take pictures in the restaurant. You can eat a normal person’s meal in the restaurant. If you can’t eat enough, you can use rice to top it when you go home. I’ll go back and buy two more rice cookers for you every day. Stew rice, eat rice alone and save money, ha."

Dumb hesitated for a moment, then whispered: "But you shouldn't have such thoughts."

"Then what should I think?"

Dumb straightened out his logic carefully, and then slowly said: "The Sprite you mentioned is just an animal on your earth. There should be tens of thousands of Sprites on the earth. But I am an alien I am a human being, and I am an alien from a relatively advanced planet. I am probably the only alien on Earth. According to the law of what is rare, I am much more valuable than Sprite. When you face valuable things, just It should be cared for more carefully. So, you can't lower my food level to save money."

Deng Tinghao was a little speechless when he was refuted. He didn't expect that Dumb would be so resistant to fooling around food, he didn't look like Dumb at all.He thought for a while, and then said seriously: "But I'm not a petty person, can't I treat money as dung? No matter how rare and valuable you are, I won't take care of you, because I don't care... unless……"

"Unless what?"

Deng Tinghao smacked his lips, and said briskly, "Unless you are my boyfriend Xiao Ling."

Dumb thought for a while: "Well, I don't know much about the relationship system of boyfriends at present, so we can discuss about boyfriends. But I want to correct your misunderstanding about yourself. Mr. Deng Tinghao, first, by virtue of How much you love the floor-to-ceiling windows in your bedroom definitely proves that you are not a person who regards money as dung. Second, if you really don’t love money, you won’t discuss it with me because you can’t afford it The food downgrade problem. Thirdly, I have actually been very careful to save money for you now. For example, I was embarrassed to buy the yogurt you said was expensive in the supermarket that day. All in all, first of all, I am a valuable Secondly, you are a person who cherishes valuable treasures. Thirdly, I am also very considerate of you. Therefore, you should treat me better and better. Finally, the boyfriend you mentioned just now, we Now we can talk about it."

Deng Tinghao: "...I don't want to talk to you anymore."

Dumb asked strangely: "Why? Did I make any stupid logical mistakes in the statement I just made?"

"No." Deng Tinghao glared at him resentfully: "I made a stupid mistake. I left you at home, gave you food, taught you how to be an excellent criminal psychologist, and finally got caught You pouted. I kind of want to go to the rooftop now."

"What is the rooftop?" Dumb asked humbly.

"It's a very high place, going up to the roof means I want to commit suicide by jumping off the building."

"Oh..." Dumb nodded: "Understood. But you have to cherish your life. I read in your notes that all suicidal people have different degrees of criminal subconsciousness. As a professional helper The Secret Service is an expert in catching criminals, if you are a pervert yourself, who can catch you? How many innocent people do you have to hurt?"

"Heh...heh... If I commit a crime, you will be the first one to kill, which can be regarded as saving food for the earth. If the majority of compatriots know about it, they will definitely thank me."

"But you can't run as fast as me, you can't jump as high as me, let alone your strength. There is a racial gap between us that you can't bridge, and you can't kill me." Duan pointed out this tragic situation very objectively. fact.

Deng Tinghao turned his head to look at him sullenly: "Why do I suddenly feel that you have become enlightened? The stupid look you had before was just playing with me, right?"

Duan shook his head seriously: "First of all, I have never been dumb. My IQ level is in the top one percent of Alpha [-]. Not to mention on the earth where technology is backward. Secondly, I have never played Thank you. We Alpha [-] people treat our friends very seriously and honestly. Don’t you feel that I am also very good to you?”

Deng Tinghao felt that even though he had sweated three thousand feet, he still couldn't wash away the black line on his forehead: "I feel... I feel it. Do I still have to thank you?"

"I've said it many times, you don't have to be polite. You treat me well, and I treat you well. This is what it should be." Dui patted Deng Tinghao's bandaged arm sincerely, and then suddenly remembered something: "Yes Oh, the boyfriend you just mentioned..."

"I didn't say anything just now..." Deng Tinghao shook his head resolutely and resolutely, then turned silently and walked home, cursing in his heart that his head was caught by the door, so he suddenly came out to try Gogou Dumb's idea of ​​being a little boyfriend.This guy is an alien!He eats a lot, has high strength, and now it seems that the IQ value is also very amazing, but only the most important EQ value is basically level with the horizon. With him, isn't that blatantly looking for abuse?

Forget it, there are tens of thousands of beautiful men in the world, if one is not good, let's change it, why do we have to fight with an alien?Deng Tinghao silently stopped thinking in his heart.

"But you just mentioned that you want me to be your boyfriend..." Dumb looked at Deng Tinghao with some doubts, and felt that it was a bit difficult to understand the fickleness of people on earth.

Deng Tinghao replied calmly: "That's because I forgot something very important just now. After your reminder, I realized that I have an insurmountable species gap in front of you. In your eyes, I may be like a little ant." Yes, this has covered up all my aggressive attributes, how could I still let you be my little zero?"

"What the hell is number zero?"

Deng Tinghao thought hard, and then explained: "When two people are having sex, one is in charge of coming in and out, and the other is in charge of...well, responsible for ushering in and sending...well...the one who comes in and out. It's number one, and it's number zero that's ushering in...that's it."

Duan's expression became serious when he heard the words, and he looked at Deng Tinghao: "You earthlings nurture the next generation, do you do it through living intercourse and pregnancy?"

Deng Tinghao was also taken aback: "Shouldn't it be like this?"

"No, no, no," Dumb seemed taken aback: "How could it be like this! How backward and dirty it is to do this! On our planet, every new life is provided by both parents with reproductive cells, and then It was bred in a life capsule."

Deng Tinghao was speechless for a while: "Every new life is like this? What about you? You are also like this?"

"Every pair is like this, and of course I am too! The low-civilized way you mentioned, we have put an end to it thousands of years ago!"

Deng Tinghao stopped the car with a look of embarrassment, looked at Dumb, and sincerely confessed: "Actually, to tell you the truth, on earth, not only do men and women do this to have children, but we homosexuals also express love in search of pleasure. So... then... I accidentally touched your minefield. Otherwise, think again, since the earth is so disgusting, should you go back to your Alpha One? Or go back to your Alpha One?

Deng Tinghao held his breath and asked this sentence. He thought he would make the other party apologize, but he didn't expect Duan to really think about it seriously, and then hesitantly asked: "Are there any other habitable planets near the earth? What do you think?" Your technology has never detected my hometown, and I'm not good at space exploration, so I think it's impossible to return to Alpha One..."

Deng Tinghao's face became very strange and colorful: "Then, please allow me to recommend the moon to you grandly! The gravitational force of the center of the moon on the moon is very small, jumping and jumping is fun. Oh yes, you don't feel a little bit disgusted with jumping by yourself. Is it low? When you get to the moon, you don’t need to develop. You can definitely jump more than 12 meters. And the moon is rich in rabbits, which are very good to bake. When you get there, you are alone guarding the plump and juicy meat of a planet. Jade Rabbit, if you want to eat as much as you want, you can jump up and down, maybe you can win the lottery and jump back to Alpha One!"

Duan pursed his lips and thought about it carefully: "Is there only rabbits that can be eaten on the moon?"

"Oh! It's broken!" Deng Tinghao suddenly slapped his thigh, touched his forehead and said, "It's broken, I forgot, the rabbits on the moon have to breed and have sex too! Then I'll let you watch every day With all kinds of love for a rabbit, I guess you will still collapse!"

"Well..." Dumb nodded: "Then I'd better live on the earth for the time being..." He frowned as he spoke, "Why are the planets around the earth so backward? I have traveled through the universe on the earth, and the time has also been confused... Hey, Deng Tinghao, have you heard of the cosmic time calculator? Have you invented that thing on Earth?"

Deng Tinghao didn't answer, he didn't want to be entangled with anything anymore, he now felt that his head was full of happy and galloping grass mud horses.What is galloping horses?Thousands of galloping horses are ten thousand grass and mud horses cheering and trampling on his head as they gallop past, leaving piles of fragrant sheep dung eggs.Deng Tinghao looked at the wonderful universe around him, and felt deeply tired.

He suddenly felt very seriously that it was time to give up this poisonous nest edge grass!When the case is over, he will go to Gay bars and start his journey of bachelor looking for a young lover again.

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