you come from the sky

Every atom in your body came from an exploded star, and the atoms that formed your left hand may have come from a different star than the atoms that formed your right hand.It's the most poetic thing I know about physics: We're all stardust.

- Lawrence Krause, "The Time Travel of an Atom"

22 drizzle

The name "Bian Yu" was given to him by his grandfather.

It is said that when Bian Yu was born, a not-so-thick black cloud happened to press down on his grandfather's garden.Grandpa pondered for a moment, and then took the word "Bian Yu" from "Free flying flowers are as light as a dream, and the boundless silk rain is as fine as sorrow".At that time, Bian Yu's father complained, saying that the name was too sentimental and not suitable for boys, and he was afraid that he would be like Qin Guan in the future, lingering in love.Father wanted to change his name, but grandpa firmly disagreed. He just cursed, "What do you know?" and sat on the recliner in front of the desk, with his eyes closed, his mind was divided.

When he was young, Bian Yu didn't understand the source of his grandfather's sorrow as thin as rain. It wasn't until they boarded the ship with their family and left the country that Bian Yu saw his grandfather's eyes full of tears looking at his hometown. My "sorrow" does not originate from the spring rain, but from something broader.

But in his father's opinion, Bian Yu was indeed misled by his name.

Bian Yu never denied this.At least in the eyes of ordinary people, Bian Yu has never been a "rule-abiding" person.

The friends he talked about... not many, about six or seven, all kinds, ignorant students, rebellious rock musicians, ordinary white-collar workers, or young lecturers who just joined the job .But Bian Yu has never, pay attention, has never met someone like Fang Haochen.

In his generally rich emotional journey, without boasting at all, Bian Yu has never actively pursued anyone, and his love has always come easily, as long as he sits there, someone will be bold or shy Talk to him.

It was the first time he met Fang Haochen like this.

It's not dull, if Fang Haochen is just dull, then it's okay.How should I put it, Fang Haochen has some auras that he can't even notice, for example, when he is nervous, he will subconsciously bite his lips. At this moment, his pale pink lips will sink softly, and then he uses his After thinking with the brain that normal people can't understand, he will use his tongue to say a sentence that is not worth his life.

On the morning of the second day after the new year, Bian Yu did not take the initiative to knock on Fang Haochen's door. Everything yesterday was like a dream. This dream was so beautiful that Bian Yu didn't dare to go to Fang Haochen. With a wave of wood, it pierced his dream.

Even if it's just a few hours, he wants to sleep a little longer with his dream in his arms.

So Bian Yu decided to get up early, go out early, go to the cafeteria to get dinner first, and then return to the dormitory by a road that no one knows.

But when he opened the door, Bian Yu saw Fang Haochen at a glance.

He stopped unconsciously, and stood there looking at Fang Haochen from a distance.

At this time, Fang Haochen was standing at the end of the corridor, as if he was waiting for someone, he didn't look at his watch, and he didn't show his usual abhorrence for "wasting time", he just put the scarf on his arm, bowed his head Look at the toes of your shoes.

The corridor is very quiet, but also very dark, and there is a lingering coldness in the deep winter.Through the loosely closed window, the mountain wind blowing in made a hissing sound like a snake letter, and there was a sense of mystery and depression unique to 201.

Bian Yu doesn't like 201. This kind of dislike permeates every aspect of 201. He doesn't like the coldness soaked into the marrow of 201. He doesn't like the mountain road that always has to climb up and down. A researcher who is always in a hurry like a machine.

None of this matters, however.

The important thing is that at this time Fang Haochen suddenly looked up and saw Bian Yu.The moment Fang Haochen saw Bian Yu, he laughed, that smile was a bit shy and reserved, he never knew how good-looking he was when he smiled.

The artistic conception of "I searched for him thousands of times in the crowd, and suddenly looked back, but the man was there, in a dimly lit place".

Bian Yu walked over.

"Hi..." He felt that he couldn't be more embarrassed.

But Bian Yu still used that skillful look to conceal how at a loss he was at this unexpected encounter, but fortunately Fang Haochen also bit his lip and asked, "Are you going to have breakfast?"

"Okay." Bian Yu answered cleanly, and only after the words came out of his mouth did he realize that he answered inexplicably.

Fang Haochen was also slightly taken aback, but he quickly smiled, nodded, and said, "Okay, let's go have breakfast."

After the new year, 201 seemed deserted. Bian Yu had never seen such a quiet 201. It seemed that all the researchers evaporated overnight. Walking in it with Fang Haochen was like walking in the sleeping beauty's sleeping castle. , The red firecracker paper that was not burned last night has not been cleaned, and stepping on it is like walking on a red carpet.

Did he walk the red carpet with Fang Haochen?Thinking of this, Bian Yu lowered his head and couldn't help laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" Fang Haochen asked.

Instead of answering, Bian Yu asked, "Why are you secretly looking at me?"

"I do not have."

"Then how do you know I'm smiling?"

Fang Haochen, who was exposed, tied his tongue, pretended to be very cold and pulled up the scarf to cover most of his face.Every time he saw Fang Haochen like this, Bian Yu felt as if he flew into a hardworking hummingbird, flapping his wings and spreading the sweet pollen all over his body.

Bian Yu wanted to tell Fang Haochen why he was snickering just now.

Last night Bian Yu had a dream. The dream he had was not as nutritious as Fang Haochen's, about the end of time and the truth of all things.

He just dreamed that two people were walking together in 201. They seemed to have no purpose, but just enjoyed the "accompaniment" itself, walking around the low building of the Research Institute of Things and stepping on the afterglow of the setting sun over and over again.In the dream, Bian Yu turned his head and saw a white hair falling from Fang Haochen's shoulder. He raised his hand and carefully pinched the white hair to show Fang Haochen. Fang Haochen didn't care, and said: "It's normal, you're old "In the dream, Bian Yu felt inexplicably sad, unable to speak, he could only hold Fang Haochen's hand.

When he woke up in the middle of the night last night, Bian Yu still felt that the dream was beautiful and real.But now that he is awake and thinking about it again, Bian Yu feels that his dream is too nasty, and he fantasizes about the fairy tale of growing old together with someone who can't even hold hands.

So Bian Yu lied: "I was thinking just now, so the machine also has a rest time."

Fang Haochen seemed unable to tell whether Bian Yu's words were serious or teasing, he slowed down and looked at Bian Yu, in fact Bian Yu liked Fang Haochen looking at him from this distance, he would raise his chin slightly, looking proud and lively, like A yawning leopard.

"Bian Yu, you have a big misunderstanding about 201." Fang Haochen said.

"Really? Then tell me where I have misunderstood."

"The people in 201 are not machines." Fang Haochen said very seriously, "We are indeed a little serious, and that is because of the mission we carry."

When Fang Haochen said this, Bian Yu couldn't help laughing, he deliberately swayed his body to get close to Fang Haochen, rolled up his sleeves and showed Fang Haochen the goosebumps on his arms: "Look at you making me sore."

Fang Haochen glared at Bian Yu, quickly pulled down Bian Yu's sleeve, covered his arm with his glove, and scolded him: "You will freeze to death!"

Fang Haochen's three simple words made Bian Yu's heart warm. He no longer teased Fang Haochen, but looked into Fang Haochen's eyes with a calm voice: "If they are all like you, they are indeed not machines."

"They weren't originally." Fang Haochen said, "Director Yao has four children in his family, his wife is just an ordinary employee, and there are two elderly people above him. The whole family relies on him alone. Director Yao is afraid that something will happen after working for so many years. Questions, even the most basic calculations, he has to do the calculations three times before submitting them.”

"The Hua political commissar adopted two orphans of an old comrade-in-arms. His wife originally wanted to have another child. The Hua political commissar was afraid that the two children would be wronged, so he refused to agree with anything."

Fang Haochen said: "They are not machines, they are just ordinary people."

The two happened to walk to the cafeteria at this time, and there was only one window open in the cafeteria, and there were only some dumplings for the New Year's improvement meal supply, Bian Yu filled a portion, and Fang Haochen went to pour the dipping sauce for the two of them, Bian Yu followed Fang Haochen Asked what he just said: "What about Tian Junnan?"

Hearing Tian Junnan's name, Fang Haochen's hand froze slightly, but soon he pretended to be indifferent and asked, "What's wrong with Tian Junnan?"

The two found a place at random, and Bian Yu said, "You know so many things about other people, do you know about Tian Junnan?"

"Her? I don't know." Fang Haochen lowered his eyes and said.

"It's so sour." Bian Yu frowned and took a sip of water, "Do you like to be jealous? Put so much."

Fang Haochen glanced at him, got up and poured a new bowl of dipping material in front of Bian Yu, and after sitting down again, he said, "What did you ask her for?"

"It's nothing." Bian Yu looked at the bowl of new dipping sauce and smiled, "Curiosity, take care of your team members."

But Fang Haochen who looked at Bian Yu's smile turned gloomy for no reason.

Bian Yu stopped laughing.

When dancing with him yesterday, Tian Junnan seemed to be very interested in him. He asked him a lot, where he studied abroad, what books he read, what research he did, and why he returned to China. Bian Yu gave some answers Some are perfunctory.Later, Tian Junnan started to ask Fang Haochen again, it seemed that Fang Haochen was more interested in Fang Haochen, as if the things he asked Bian Yu were just introductions, now Bian Yu is a bit strange, she and Fang Haochen have known each other for a lot more time than him, what's the matter why Instead of asking yourself, ask him instead?

"Why don't you want to talk about her?" Bian Yu asked, he pretended to lower his head to eat, but secretly glanced at Fang Haochen's reaction.

Sure enough, when talking about Tian Junnan, Fang Haochen's complexion was not good, and his eyes wandered all over the place.

"She has nothing to say." Fang Haochen replied.

"I see." Bian Yu said slowly, "I thought it was because you didn't want me to talk about her."

Fang Haochen said: "The meaning is the same, talking about lesbians behind their backs is not good."

Bian Yu said pointedly: "Yes, after all, Director Fang is not young, and he has reached the age to start a family."

Fang Haochen put down his chopsticks, as if he couldn't eat anymore, he was silent for a while, and looked at Bian Yu: "Don't get me wrong, I don't have any special thoughts about Comrade Tian Junnan."

"Really?" Bian Yu said pretending not to care, but only he knew what his heartbeat was like, and he had to work hard to keep the corners of his mouth from rising too obviously.

"I told you before," but Fang Haochen continued, "like my mother, I am a very cold person. I have never liked anyone, and I don't know what I like, and I don't plan to get married. My The idea is simple, find the answer to the 201 study and dedicate my whole life and soul to physics."

A hummingbird with fluttering wings was shot down by a hunter and fell heavily to the ground.

"Indeed." Bian Yu forced his face to smile and said.

Indeed, Fang Haochen is a person who is indifferent to the point of indifference, a person who devotes himself to the truth.

Indeed, on Bian Yu's emotional journey, he has never met someone like Fang Haochen.A person who needs him to let go of his self-esteem and keep pursuing, a person who doesn't want to look at him even if he looks at those numerical formulas, a person... who has never expressly hinted that he is interested in men in any form.