That 1 his waist protruded

28

The roommates seem to have gotten used to Yan Chaoling and I getting up from the same bed.Even Qian Yi didn't say a word - of course, it is also possible that he was taken away by Tang Hongxi in private.

Yan Chaoling was faster than me, said "I'll buy you breakfast first" and went out.Of course, he was embarrassed to only buy ours, and asked Qian Yi and Tang Hongxi in the dormitory group what they wanted, and he could bring them together.

Breakfast is forbidden to be brought into the teaching building, and Yan Chaoling quietly smuggled breakfast for four people in like an underground joint. The four of us took advantage of the last 5 minutes before class to sit at the back of the classroom and eat breakfast.

Qian Yi lamented that it was nice to have a dormitory head who likes to take care of people.

Tang Hongxi: "Are you serious?"

Qian Yi thought for a while: "Oh——"

I am at a loss.

Yan Chaoling said seriously: "If you don't eat breakfast, you will become stupid."

I covered my mouth and laughed, don't expect Tang Hongxi to let him go if I said such a thing.

Sure enough, Tang Hongxi glanced at him, and said meaningfully: "So it's not too late to make up for it now?"

Being hurt in a tortuous way, Yan Chaoling opened his mouth, not knowing how to retaliate for a while.Tang Hongxi's words were civilized, but Yan Chaoling could not simply "give him a spoon".

Inside and outside the words, I also heard what Tang Hongxi said.They used to skip breakfast before it was too late, but now Yan Chaoling attaches so much importance to this meal because of me.

Sure enough, Yan Chaoling took out a small medicine box from my schoolbag and pushed it over, "Remember to take medicine."

Tang Hongxi's gesture of holding the red line really surprised me.

What he said last time may be the reason why he can still be kind to me despite hearing so many rumors against me, but this should not be enough to make him a moon old man.

If you ask him directly, he probably won't say anything.I'm thinking about going back and looking for a friend to help me analyze it, but who is more suitable to learn from?

I actually have the leisure to be curious about others, which is gratifying.

29

The daily routine is still the same. The sequelae of lack of sleep is that I fell asleep on the table shortly after breakfast.

To be honest, this teacher hypnotized me so much that I wanted to record it and listen to it as a bedtime story.Sleepiness just makes me fall asleep faster.The sound during the recess did not wake me up, until the end of get out of class, Yan Chaoling woke me up: "Xiao Yi, sleep in another place."

I asked in a daze, "Back to the dormitory?"

Yan Chaoling replied, "Change the classroom."

Oh, and class.

Yan Chaoling rubbed my hair, "Persevere, there is no class in the afternoon, go back and sleep casually."

I held my hair, and Yan Chaoling's hand by the way: "The hairstyle is messed up."

Yan Chaoling was serious: "No, I'm watching."

Qian Yi and Tang Hongxi went to occupy seats first, and I followed Yan Chaoling slowly past.We went late, and there were no four consecutive empty seats in a horizontal row, so it became two seats at the front and back.

This time I didn't fall asleep, Yan Chaoling thought about it and asked me: "Are there many cases like last night?"

"Occasionally, so I haven't prepared contingency measures."

Yan Chaoling sighed, "You were crying so hard that you scared me to death. Fortunately, you're fine... you're not fine..."

Yan Chaoling was at the end of his poems, but I suddenly wanted to laugh.

I asked him, "Why are you nervous?"

Yan Chaoling thought for a while, "I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing."

"Afraid that I will be upset if I say the wrong thing?"

Yan Chaoling did not answer directly:

"The third child said that you may be in a very fragile state, and the collapse may be an instant thing. If you are willing to talk about your affairs, your thoughts, no matter what you say, don't refute your point of view, don't I think you are wrong. Refuting will only push you away, and self-righteous lessons are even more excessive..."

He said a long list, and finally sighed.

I looked sideways at him: "You don't have to be so tired."

I was no less overwhelmed than he was.This is the first time I have this kind of trouble, and it is also the first time someone has taken my emotions into consideration.

I was abandoned by my parents and grew up beside my grandparents. It is natural to be loved, but it is also natural for children not to be recognized as "independent personality".Besides, this is different from family affection, and Yan Chaoling is also different from his elders.

I don't know how to describe it.I am also at a loss for words.

Yan Chaoling was a little annoyed, "I don't know what to say, I mean, this is what I am willing to do."

I nodded, then recalled to myself.

30

My contact with Yan Chaoling mainly came after we moved.Before that, he and I were more than just meet and greet in the hallway.

I have a bad reputation in the class. Although it is not good, it is undeniably true.Go clubbing, make friends with benefits, and get superficial pleasure in physical pleasure.

Like Ayu said, cheap dopamine.

I dare not think about the possibility that I like Yan Chaoling, I will feel that I am not worthy of him.I used to have no problem enjoying carnal pleasures, but now I feel dirty and unworthy of him.Even if he likes a man, it shouldn't be me.

But he saved me from fire and water.I have been under his care since I moved here.

Whether it's the hobby of taking care of others, the sense of responsibility of being a big brother, or the ambiguous tricks of a straight man, none of these will hinder the fact that he takes care of me wholeheartedly.

I am very lacking in love, and I feel grateful for a little bit of goodness, not to mention that he gave me so much.

But when I think about it carefully, the same person who helped me, Yan Chaoling and Ayu have different meanings.Although I once recommended myself to Ayu as a pillow seat on impulse, I didn't have any extra thoughts.Facing Yan Chaoling... It's easy to make love, but difficult to say it.What's more, I still dare not do it with him.

When I was young, I heard a girl chatting in class and said a sentence: "I still think pure love is the most beautiful." I don't know why, this sentence is obviously embarrassing, but I always remember it.Now that I think about it, I may not be able to produce the so-called pure love.

I like Yan Chaoling, I like how he takes care of me and treats me well, and I love him because of gratitude, but as time goes by, this gratitude has deteriorated a bit.

The teacher in the mental health class said: "Love because of need is childish love, and love because of need is mature love." Now that I think about it, I feel that it is already difficult to still have the strength to love, so what is childish and mature?

What I like about Yan Chaoling is the metamorphic gratitude, the drowning person's need to hug the driftwood, it's childish and impure, but I still love him.

When I resolutely said "love him" in my mind, I suddenly felt my heart ache.Angina, pain from the chest to the back, pain through the cavity.

"Maybe I should really go buy some medicine to prepare." I murmured, as if talking to Yan Chaoling, but also as if talking to myself.

Yan Chaoling asked: "What medicine do you want to buy? Would you like to let the third child bring it back for you when you buy vegetables?"

I looked at him and suddenly felt that loving him might be a very painful thing.