Youth Notes

My cousin died.

A girl under 15 years old.

She got uterine cancer and died.

She was the same year as her younger sister, she died, and she hadn't graduated from the third year of junior high school.At the turn of spring and summer, my sister is about to take the high school entrance examination, and I am about to take the college entrance examination.

During the Chinese New Year, she came to our house with her parents, smiling like a wild chrysanthemum, she has always been so smiling, so happy, bright and sunny.Among my many cousins, she is the most splendid and simple one, wild chrysanthemum, mountain twist flower, mountain rhododendron, wild rose, sunflower, my cousin, this happy child of the mountains.Now, the child is dead.Died of uterine cancer at a young age.She had an accident when she was playing at our house during the Chinese New Year.In the evening, my sister and I took her to visit our school. She yearned for this school very much. She really wanted to be admitted to this key middle school in the county. , studious.We were playing at school, she was going to the bathroom, I went too, and then she passed out in the bathroom.She is bleeding.

Uterine cancer, only 14 years old.

She went to the county hospital first, and was transferred to the city hospital the next day. One month later, she came back from the hospital and came to our home first.Still a bright smile and a loud voice.It was still pale face, pale lips, and it was only later that I remembered that her lips had always been pale, and her pale face was caused by her love of laughing.She told me and my sister that she was recovering from her illness, and she said that she had to work hard after returning home, otherwise she would not be able to catch up with her classmates.I thought she was fine too, no kid would ever think of a girl bleeding for surgery because of uterine cancer.My mother said that her entire uterus had been removed, and it would be impossible to have children in the future. Adults are always very sad about this.

Now she is dead, and she died in only a few months.The younger sister said that she once overheard her uncle telling her mother that her cousin had cancer, and she was terrified every day.I don't know, I don't know anything.Now I know.It's incredible.How did this girl live in the past six months, and how did she live in the "final", I think about this question every day.When I was a child, I was always afraid of seeing my mother kill chickens, geese and fish. I was afraid of seeing the convulsions of chickens and geese whose necks were bleeding and bleeding. And despair seems to be mine, I will remember their eyes, study their feelings, their "heart" all day long, this is really an unbearable thing.That girl who loves to laugh always calls me "Second Sister——Second Sister——" every time I visit relatives during Chinese New Year. She smiles so happily and shouts so hard that when she comes to you, she always Like gasping.She runs, jumps, sings, laughs, she is a mountain flower that blooms undisguisedly, a mountain flower that grows wildly and blooms wildly.This fresh life, how she spent the past six months, how she endured pain and despair, this poor child.Later her sister told me: what else?He yelled and yelled every day in pain, and yelled at night so that no one could sleep, it was so scary.Cousin!Cousin!Cousin!Cousin.

Thank you, she is only 14 years old.

She thanked her because her flowers bloomed early.She has menstruated since the fourth grade, and she doesn't know how to take care of herself. It will be a long time before her mother finds out that her child has developed.After she had menstruation, she often suffered from stomach pains, and then she often bleeds for a long time. Her mother didn't know about it, but she found out later, but after knowing it, she still had intermittent long-term bleeding.This child with pale lips, why does no one know that she is sick.Doesn't this lively child, the sunny child, make her health and troubles overlooked by her joy and sunshine?Cousin, why are you so good at expressing your brilliant "**"? Why do you release your happiness factor so unrestrainedly, which has always confused everyone's eyes. You careless child, why don't you show your pain well? and troubles.You silly boy.What a bad boy you are to create false appearances.

My sister is also a child who can create false appearances.

Compassionate, affectionate, gentle, hardworking, bright, lively, happy.This is my sister, the sister who lives by my side every day.Many years later, more than ten years later, I didn't know what was behind that sister's gentleness and vivaciousness.

When I first transferred to a key elementary school in the county, there were a group of girls in the same class who were very xenophobic. They bullied their younger sister, scolded her, and beat her.They locked her in the classroom, and one girl started peeing, using a classmate's lunch box, and she forced her younger sister to drink it, and they surrounded her, and they stared at the scared younger sister, and they said: drink, drink it it drank!She drank it, that sister drank it, and she drank it!fool!Fool!Can't drink!Can't drink! !Children, you should slap it back, splash it on their faces, splash it all over their faces, tell them to die, tell them to fuck off, tell them to go to the street, to perform on the most lively street!

Sister, when I was in fourth or fifth grade, I fell in love with a boy, that revolutionary mass family that let our siblings live in, there was a boy in their family, my sister liked him, my gentle and considerate sister secretly liked him, and I would joke about him all day long She, making fun of her, pissing her off, a boy who takes pleasure in making her hard for her.The younger sister has no choice, she can't leave him. After entering middle school, she still goes to their house to help harvest rice and do various farm work every summer vacation.In order to see him, to be with him, she had endured the slights of his naughty, sarcastic child.She cried, secretly crying, crying very hard, but she had to go, she had to go to him, so that she would not be empty when she went.She needs love so much, her heart is too desolate and frightened, she needs something inside, someone real inside.

The younger brother is also a child who can create false appearances.He is not as simple and innocent as he looks.He is a boy, he is braver than his sister, he dated a little girl, and when he was in the sixth grade, he dated her to meet at the door of a certain hotel.This younger brother of mine, the younger brother who grew up on my back, also has puppy love.

Sister is brave.My elder sister is fashionable, and my elder sister became a salesperson when she was 15 years old and had no books to study. It was the mid-80s, and she made friends with a group of fashionable girls who were not highly educated.My sister has changed.The older sister became realistic, well-groomed, and fun-loving, and she fit in with the society of the day.My sister has grown up suddenly, she has forgotten the pain of not having a book to read, she has stopped crying a long time ago, she no longer grabs food from us, is no longer jealous of our new clothes, she protects us, loves us, and tolerates us .A person who is in love is very good and beautiful. My sister is in love, and she is in love with vigour, and she is only a teenager.Mom scolded her, and she retorted loudly: You were not so old when you married Dad!Mom said: Your boyfriend is so poor!She said: Dad didn't even have a house to live in when he married you. Didn't you marry him?The brave sister fell in love and married early, and she became a mother at the age of 19.Sister, that child who used to be studious and enterprising, what can she do if she doesn't follow the trend and doesn't fall in love?Sister is happy, she is brave, she lives in this world, we are cowardly, we are clouds floating in the air, without root, direction, and weight.

Has your cousin ever had a puppy love?I vaguely remember that she had discussed this issue with her sister evasively, as if saying that a boy in her class liked her.She was so happy, so happy that even if she was evasive, she was exposed.Now, I really hope that's true, I hope she was in love, I hope that the child who died young has experienced the feeling of being in love.

We are several connected islands, we are connected back to back, we never know how to look back, we only know to look forward, excited and addicted to the birds, clouds, boats and sails that pass by occasionally, For their erratic and complicated emotions.The sea is so vast that it has no boundaries, and the sky is so wide that it extends to the end of the sea.The emptiness, the eternal emptiness, the ebb and flow of the tide, is the heart of the island day and night.Those poor isolated islands, as long as they all turn their heads and look at each other, they will find that they can be connected to form a continent, and flowers and trees can be planted on it, turning it into a treasure island full of birds and flowers.But they don't understand, they are ignorant, these isolated islands of ignorance are destined to go through long loneliness and pain.

One day, they will find out, they will look at each other, and they will be connected together.This day is actually not far away, but when these islands trying to drift outwards are about to know how to approach inwards, they have lost the opportunity to connect, and they will be separated from each other.