Youth Notes

It is not this winter vacation that we know how to love like this, we have to know it earlier.

Another half a year earlier, another half a year earlier in the summer vacation of the freshman year.

The evening wind of the countryside passed through the long and winding alleys leisurely, without trees, flowers, or grass.no plants.There is only one cat and one dog.They don't bark, they lie down and squat quietly.The warmth is still in the abdomen, but the coolness brushes the hair on the body and head.They can't be quiet.The wind carries the smell of blue bricks and stone walls, as well as the smell of well water and pig food, which is the smell of home.The alley is very long and winding, the houses are not high, they are very short, only three floors at most.The stars in the sky cannot be concealed, and the night sky cannot be concealed.The sky is not bright or dark, and the flowing clouds are light and light, drifting in the blue-gray sky that is as long as a river.We lay on the bamboo chairs in front of the door and looked up at the night sky.It was me lying down on Wen Ziqing's lap with my head resting on her lap.

The third stop of our summer vacation trip.My father's friend's house used to be my home too, the one where my brother and sister and I lived as sojourners.We traveled by bicycle, me, Wen Ziqing, and Yan.

We chatted in the alley, with my father and my friend, and their three children, two boys and one girl.

I don't remember exactly what we talked about, and I don't quite know how late it was.Watching the sky and the night sky is something I do almost every night, and I don’t remember anything special about the night sky that night.What I remember is, that carefree quiet, like that cat, that dog.The body is warm and the body is cool.Life only feels this.Nothing more.You can die because of this kind of tranquility and innocence, and it is also so beautiful that you can die.Death is eternal.

Wen Ziqing kissed me.At night, at a friend's house, on the same bed we shared, Wen Ziqing kissed me again.I cried, I felt two cool stars slide across my cheeks, and then disappeared into the long night sky.We haven't kissed for a long time, Wen Ziqing has been ignoring me for a long time, we have been strangers for a long time.She put her arms around my neck, her soft body pressed against mine, and she kissed me, very tenderly.This summer night, I am both happy and sad, I don't know why.

I told Wen Ziqing that I am very happy, she is back again, and she wants me again.The wind in the countryside is different. It will restore the human heart to its original state, the original and most primitive pure state.The wind in the countryside is a filter, a very precise filter, flying dust, water mist, cloud smoke, all particles invisible to the naked eye, are filtered out by it, and nothing is left, only the wind remains.Transparent wind.Me and my lover don't remember anything, all worries are filtered out, all we know is love, and that's all there is to it.pure love.

I did a bad thing, the first and only time I did a bad thing, a real bad thing.

That morning, a summer morning not long after returning from the countryside.Wen Ziqing's mother is going back to another city, their hometown.After she opened the door for me, she left and went back to their hometown.Only Wen Ziqing and I are left in a big family.

Wen Ziqing, reading a book alone in the morning light.

I walked through her living room and into her room with the balcony, the brightest room in their house, the room that belonged to her when her brother was away.At that time, she lived in that bright room.The morning light shone through the balcony and into her room through the window, and her desk and her smooth black hair were covered with golden sunlight.She stood up and turned to look at me.That child is happy and cute.That girl is pure and bright.That familiar, dear, and intimate person is warm and joyful.We looked at each other happily, laughed, talked about some interesting things, and we were very happy when we said anything, when we only had each other in front of our eyes and in our hearts.It has always been like this, when there are only these two hearts left in this world, everything is so happy.I don't know how long I've been talking, and I don't know what else I did.We kissed again out of nowhere, we hugged with lingering eyes, and we sat on her bed.We sit and kiss.We lay down together and we continued to hug, kiss and caress.On that bright summer morning, on that bright summer morning, I'm not gentle at all, I just want to get, I can't be just gentle anymore.I didn't know what to do, I was holding her so roughly, breathing so loudly and eagerly.Not knowing how tight my hug was, how my body was moving, I was shaking, I was in the kind of joy I had known for a long time.Such intensely beautiful, irrepressibly intoxicating joy.

Ignorant and selfish person, she didn't realize until many years later, Wen Ziqing, is she also "like this"?Are you as happy as she is?She doesn't even remember, she doesn't even remember whether she enjoyed or was enjoyed in this way.Years later, she knew her guilt, and she was ashamed: she was a criminal.She actually forgot to give, didn't know how to give, was ashamed to give, and didn't dare to give. She just couldn't help but enjoy it, so naturally and eagerly.She is an unqualified lover.

Wen Ziqing didn't take the initiative to kiss me, she didn't start it, it wasn't her, it was me, I started it.Going forward for half a year, it was the winter vacation of the freshman year.

We sat together on the half-dark staircase.

I said: I want to kiss you, okay?

She said: OK.

I kissed her lightly on the cheek.

I want to kiss you too, okay?

Ok.

She also kissed me lightly on the cheek.

In that dimly lit corridor, we left a kiss on each other's faces.Kiss on the face, feel in body and mind.At that moment, everything is different, something in the body feels different, and something in the heart is also different.A kiss is gentle and holy, and a light kiss is also gentle and holy. It makes the world like a new spring after the rain, and the first snow after the snow. Everything is as clear as a wipe. It is a new wind, a new sunshine , touch the flower that has been in bud for a long time, the flower shakes slightly, and finally blooms...

In the corridor of our alma mater, we avoided the partying students, avoided the students in two classes, left the noisy classroom, left those lights, those music, those sodas and peanuts, and banana biscuits .We ran upstairs hand in hand and sat down.We shyly gave each other a kiss.

After that night, we couldn't kiss enough, and we couldn't hug enough.Love has become more than just spiritual, it has added new content, it is much more beautiful, brighter, and shiny.On those nights when we clumsily hugged and kissed, we shyly and tenderly immersed ourselves in the luscious river flowing silently, feeling the sweetness, joy and innocence of the first blooming flowers.

It is still a letter one by one, a diary one by one, a note one by one.It is still written and torn, torn and burned, and then written after burning.I will still rummage through boxes and chests, looking for the hidden words of each other, and still go to the wastebasket to find flowers and green vines.Those scraps of paper that have been crushed are pieced together bit by bit and pasted together to become pieces of art.We are in love, always silently and tacitly in love, kissing, hugging, kissing, and staring at each other with great emotion.Many languages ​​cannot be spoken, cannot be spoken, should not be spoken.we write.We can't help but write it down, and we destroy it with helplessness and sorrow, and then write, burn, and write again.I have a brazier, and Wen Ziqing has a wastebasket.I was lucky, I was able to find scraps of paper, all she saw was ashes.No, she is luckier than me, as long as she wants to read, is willing to read, and is not angry to read, I will write every day, write everything, show her everything, I can show her everything, take out my heart and lungs,* *Naked and warmly presented to her, presented with gratitude and tears.She is not as magnanimous as I am, she always hides, tucks, and makes me search everywhere, looking everywhere, and I am ecstatic and grateful for the few words I get, and weep with gratitude.I want to get those words as definite as mine, and caress them with eyes and hands every day, and place them reverently in the center of my heart, to maintain my happiness and life, to convince me that "it" exists Yes, love exists.

If only there was a beautiful place away from the world, where we could live together.I can hold your hand and fall asleep soundly, I can hug you and kiss you every night, and I can stay with you for a lifetime.

I am happy, the happiest person in the world, I found it, I pasted the fragments, and it became the two lines of words on it, every word has temperature, and it is shining and pure The light, they make me sad and happy, like drinking alcohol, infatuated and intoxicated, it warmed my many cold nights.

However, in the final analysis, I am luckier. I can express my heart heartily, reveal my heart without reservation, and vent my love and desire wantonly.She can't, the right to vent is always taken away by me, the frankness and innocence are mine.She can only be patient, if she breaks out again we will die, she should be deep and reserved, that's what she did, and she probably thinks so.She restrained herself, she endured, and she forcibly suppressed many things she wanted to say.Wen Ziqing, she is suffering more than me, and her suffering makes me feel bad, even though she thinks I am suffering more than her.

Our love is always in our hometown, in that small town.Here we meet, get to know each other, and love each other.Here begins the first kiss, hug.Reconcile here, get intoxicated, and experience the sweetest and purest time.

Here is full of hope and despair, full of laughter and tears, every cloud, every ray of sunshine, is sad and happy.Here is the full meaning of life, the full connotation of youth.

Walking along the edge of the stream, forgetting the distance of the road, and suddenly encountering a peach blossom forest.

There are hundreds of steps between the banks, there are no miscellaneous trees in the middle, the grass is delicious, and the fallen flowers are colorful.

The land is flat and the houses look like houses.There is a genus of mulberry and bamboo in Liangtian and Meike, where the rice paddies are trafficked, and the chickens and dogs are acquainted.

When asked what the world is today, I don't know that there is Han, regardless of Wei and Jin.

This is our paradise.