Youth Notes

The flowers of May bloom all over the field,

Flowers cover the blood of people with lofty ideals.

In order to save this dying nation,

They are fighting tenaciously without stopping.

Today's Northeast has been in ruins for four years,

We suffer in pain every day.

I lost my freedom and lost my job,

Humiliatedly endured the merciless whip.

……

We are all revolutionaries, Wen Ziqing and I.We all have a red and professional Communist Party member father, we are all well-behaved, and we have always been the teacher's darling and a role model for our classmates.We love revolution, we love revolutionary songs, we love revolutionary poetry, we love reading revolutionary novels. "Red Rock" was spoiled by Wen Ziqing, "Three Iron Women" and "Northern Grass" were spoiled by me, and now we are watching "Tomorrow, Let's Pick Pansies Together".She introduced the novel that Wen Ziqing brought to me.

We still write diaries every day, which is really inexplicable to those classmates who complained about finishing two diaries a week.We enjoy keeping a diary, write it every day, and often read it in exchange. The diary is to be handed over to the teacher. We never write intimate things, and there is nothing in our letters. We despise the intimate, and we all love to write revolutionary content , Write books, write learning, write heroes and celebrities, write history, write ideals, and write nature.We agreed: Life will never fade, ideals will never die; tomorrow, we will go to pick pansies together.Those were sincerely revolutionary words, even though I later learned that they were all childish slogans.Noble, noble, upright, innocent, sincere, aggressive, bright and future, our diaries and letters are full of such words, and there are only a few more words in the letters: I love you.Our letter is full of "I love you", full of "sincere friendship".Later, "kiss you" appeared in Wen Ziqing's letter, and then we all wrote "kiss you", just like we often write "flower, kiss you" and "sunshine, kiss you". We like the word "kiss" and " Love you".It never occurred to me that friendship has any contradiction with "I love you" and "kiss you".We have a friendship, we both want to say I love you, kiss you, everything is as natural as rain in spring and wind in autumn.It is very beautiful, so beautiful, it is as natural as the four seasons.

We love revolutionary songs, love heroes, and love to say that ideals are like the phoenix flowers outside my window, burning blazingly, red like torches every year.

I love this song "Flowers in May" during the anti-Japanese period, just like I love the songs of Fei Xiang and Xu Xiaofeng, Tchaikovsky and the "Pastoral" symphony. I don't think there is any contradiction between them.

A big event happened in our class. The private diary of the boy who was called the hazy poet was exposed.It was pulled out by a female classmate.That hazy poet looks like a scholar, but also the image of a prodigal son.He is not tall, not at all, maybe not as tall as I am, he is not strong, and he is definitely not a "boy from Alishan".He is not a weak scholar, by no means, except for the school uniform, he wears very casual T-shirts, all of which are gray and autumn colors. The loose T-shirt is very long, covering the entire buttocks, even half of the thighs, long pants and shorts They are all worn, also in a dull color, dangling widely between his legs, and he likes to dangle in slippers when he returns home for evening self-study.No, he didn't wander back, he wasn't so leisurely and calm, he walked in quickly, swirling in like the wind, with a usual smile on his thin and dark face, his T-shirt and trousers were flapping There was a strong wind, and the slippers rattled.He loves literature very much, so he wrote a lot of poems, obscure poems, which no one can understand, not even the Chinese teacher, so his classmates jokingly called them obscure poets.I forget whether I have read his poems, I just remember his appearance and smile.There seems to be no praise or criticism for his people and poems. People always have their own characteristics.

The private diary of the obscure poet was exposed, causing an uproar in the class.Because there are no obscurity poems in the diary, they are all "**" and "love history" in our class.Real names, deeds and quotes are all there.The girl shared the diary with the girls who were mainly staying at the hotel, and learned about the love psychology and dirty thoughts of the boys in our class, such as how many crushes there are, what they said, what they did, how many girls they fell in love with, yes How do you feel, what are your impressions and opinions on each girl, especially what kind of imagination your appearance and figure give people, and what is the reaction of the girl being pursued.Probably this kind of thing, it is probably a record of the night talk in the boys' dormitory.I haven't read that diary, it's all collected by ear.The dim poet's diary was widely circulated. Some girls cried because they were desecrated by shameless boys, and more girls were angry.The one who bears the brunt is of course the owner of the diary, who describes his impressions of the girl's body, skin, eyes, smile, walking posture, legs, buttocks, and chest.Indeed like a poet, a writer.Of course, there are also those who sympathize with those passionate boys and vague poets. Their privacy has been exposed, and I sympathize with them very much.

The prodigal son is worthy of praise. He is strong and survived the spittle of everyone. Those passionate and brave boys and talents are also good. They got through the difficulties with cheeky smiles.If these things happen to girls, many tragedies may be brewed. Girls can't be thick-skinned.Girls are pure and fragile.

I'm not pure, I have dirty thoughts too, I've had them since I was little and I've always had them.They say that obscure poets and wits are despicable and hypocritical people with human faces and beast hearts.I know that I, this "righteous", "pure", and "revolutionary" person, is much more hypocritical than them.I also like to look at girls' skin, their eyes, their smiles, their legs, their hips, their breasts.Especially the girl with two lovely dimples and fair skin, her thick black hair, the same black eyebrows, big black and white eyes are always full of smiles, and the two dimples are also full of smiles The most beautiful thing is her breasts. On her petite and thin body, there are a pair of breasts that are ready to come out. They are plump and perfectly standing upright in front of her chest. She can't hide it even if she wants to, and of course she shouldn't hide it.Every time I see her, I admire her body, it is really ecstatic beauty.For this reason, people should also be grateful to God for the wonder and affection in creating man. He created women's body to let people know and worship beauty.

They, those boys, they are people who know how to appreciate beauty.They expressed their feelings, perhaps because they used improper words when speaking and remembering, so they were criticized in the end.I don't say or remember, I never, they are all hidden in my heart, in the deepest corner.I have no reason to blame them, nor do I.I didn’t accuse the girl who peeped into people’s privacy and aroused the anger of the crowd to criticize them. I understand her heart, the feelings of those “blasphemed” girls, and the two groups of people who are harassing and arguing fiercely.To me, it's nothing to argue about.

I have grown up, this world no longer only has the concepts of good people and bad people, and all things are not opposite, not only good and evil, but also many others, as for how to say it, I don’t know. Just know that they exist, there is no need to fight or fight, they can coexist harmoniously, just like revolutionary songs, popular songs and world famous songs can coexist friendly, just like the changing of the seasons.However, many people in this world don't see it that way.

Perhaps, I have become non-revolutionary or even counter-revolutionary, or like the seagulls, sea ducks and penguins in Gorky's "Petrel", I am a "fake revolution in every form".Why am I no longer enthusiastic about many things, and no longer angry about many phenomena.

The girl who exposed the dirty mind of the obscure poet, Yan Yan, and many others, how could they still be able to be "just a classmate, a young man, in his prime; scholarly spirit, scolding Fang Qiu. Pointing to the country, inspiring words, the dung was once tens of thousands of households "What about it?Maybe I'm not growing up, but old.

Bing, soldier, the appellation that once inspired our era, it is not only a title, but also a kind of spirit, a kind of glory, a kind of radiant red character.Soldiers gave a speech at the school. The school held it once in junior high school. The speech made our blood boil and tears filled our eyes. After that, we sang "Little Grass" desperately. When the old mountain hero sang live, we were crying. We, I, also Sing very affectionately.I have been listening to and singing revolutionary songs since I was a child, but when I was in high school, I found that I was not revolutionary anymore.

A few soldiers from our school, soldiers stationed in the southwestern border, had a discussion with us.When they parted, they left correspondence addresses with each other for future exchange of learning and combat experience.Several girls wrote letters with great reverence, and several soldiers wrote letters with great envy and yearning.I haven't, haven't written, don't want to write.Yan wrote the most frequently and showed us excitedly every time he received a letter. They were really revolutionary. They talked with each other about ideal life, enterprising spirit, and various perceptions and views on social life.The soldier's letters are always very long, and each time there are several pages, full of densely packed, so urgent to talk, as if there has never been a channel for him to talk.I told Yan that something was wrong with him.Yan was very upset and said, what's wrong with him?I said, don't you think it's strange that he wrote so often, especially, each letter has the same content, that is, we soldiers are also flesh and blood people, and we also have emotions and desires.What are you writing this for?Yan said, that is the truth, it is sung like this in the songs.I smiled and said nothing.In the eyes of the geese, there is still a sacred halo on the soldier's head, but I can no longer see this halo.

One day, Yan came to me with a look of anger and loss, heartache, grievance, and sadness.In her hand was a letter from a warrior.I was so naive, she said.The soldier finally couldn't bear to confide his true feelings, he wanted the love of this high school student, a sixteen or seventeen-year-old girl.Yan cried, she could not bear this kind of blasphemy, she could not forgive the "evil" of that soldier.

Of course, she cannot stand all evil.

Geese are revolutionary, the most revolutionary.When she wanted to make friends with me, she told me that I am so kind and sincere, so upright and pure, so active and revolutionary, and so good at studying, she simply adores me, can I be friends with you?Can I see your diary?I give you mine too.I appreciate her admiration, and of course I do.Her "worship" made me panic and ashamed, she only saw my appearance.What a fool.Her so-called revolutionary friend did nothing earth-shattering, but she did one thing after another.

She wrote a letter to the principal, complaining about the inhumanity of the school cafeteria, which is harming the health of students for profit.I haven't read the letter, but the vehemence can be imagined.The canteen will not change, the students should be appeased, the job of the head teacher is to do the errands well, after a long time, the clumsy head teacher settled the matter.Yan has another life experience.She is brave and rich.

I am a seagull, a sea duck and a penguin, I hide, I seem to have known the result, so I no longer struggle and let myself be slaughtered.I'm not aggressive, I'm pessimistic.

I was pessimistic and negative in my heart, but my mouth was still positive. In my diary and letters, I encouraged and comforted Wen Ziqing. I said, don’t worry about your health, everything will be fine, don’t be sad, you didn’t do well in the exam this time, Summarize the experience and lessons well, and it will definitely work next time.We work together, the future is bright!

I think, I don't understand my heart clearly, in fact, I don't understand at all. There are many things rushing, entangled, and fighting in my body, but I can't tell the winner or loser.It was a chaotic battlefield, the things of this world drilled into my heart, pushed it to infinity, and they fought fiercely in it.In order not to fall into madness, I run away, into nature, into love.Maybe, that's it.And because of that I put up with everything, probably yes.