The taste of love is bitter

"What's going on?" I asked her holding up the phone.

"Chenchen, listen to mom's explanation..." Mom said as she walked over.

"Why is the senior's phone with you? Where did he go?" I asked excitedly.

"Chenchen, don't get excited, listen to my mother, he...he..." Maybe my mother can't find a reason to fool me for a while.

"Don't lie to me, tell me the truth, I want to hear the truth." Sitting on the sofa, I said in a low voice with a strong premonition of bad luck.

"Chenchen, Yuhao, he..."

"Chenchen, go back to sleep, we'll talk about it tomorrow!" Dad came out at some point.

"Do you think I can sleep? Please, tell me, I can take it!" I begged.

"Hey, I will know sooner or later, tell him!" Mom sighed and said to Dad.

Dad walked up to me and sat down, put his arms around my shoulders, and said, "Yu Hao is a good boy, your heart..."

"He gave me my heart?" I was surprised, I thought about many possibilities, illness, car accident, accident, but I didn't expect him to give me my heart properly.

"Don't think about it, he gave you your heart, that's right. In fact, he had bone cancer early in the morning. The last few times he saw you, he tried hard to prevent you from seeing it. Later, he told me that his illness was not serious. He was cured, and he had to do something meaningful in his last days. He stopped all the medicines for treatment, just to prevent the heart from being stimulated. Afterwards, his whole body was tortured by the illness and became so thin that he lost his appearance. I I can't bear it, I want to reject him, I think if you know, you won't agree with him to do this, he said it's for... Yuchen, he said you live well, even if he meets Yuchen, he can have an explanation, live What I owed him can finally be repaid after death.

Before entering the operating room, he answered your last call, and then gave your mother the mobile phone. He asked your mother to encourage you to live bravely on his behalf. His father disagreed at first, but he insisted on it again and again. His father also acquiesced.This child is too great, and we owe him too much, so, Chenchen, the best reward you can give him now is to study hard and cherish this heart that beats in your body, it is not only your second Rebirth, it is also the continuation of Yuhao's life, understand? "

I sat there for a long time without making a sound, without tears, and without emotional ups and downs, as if I knew it a long time ago. Maybe the heart of the senior knew my own destiny, so I didn't feel too sad.

After a long time, I came back to my senses, "Dad, Mom, don't worry, I will live well, for you, for seniors, for Yuchen, for...myself." And the people I have loved and loved me .

"Chenchen, you can cry out when you feel uncomfortable, don't be like this, mom is very worried about you." Mom said anxiously.

"Mom, I'm fine, I have my own measure, don't worry, I won't let you worry about it in the future, can you give me this phone?" I smiled and looked at my parents.

"Take it, as long as you are okay, you can do whatever you want." Mom cried again.

"Don't cry, I believe Chenchen, when he grows up, he should know what to do. I hope, what I see is a responsible man!" Dad patted me on the shoulder, "It's getting late, go to bed early Let's go." After speaking, he pulled his mother back to the room.

I also went back to the room with my mobile phone, but I couldn’t sleep all night. The next day, my mother gave me a box, which contained a notebook with a lock and some photos, including his, Ruan Yuchen’s, and Zu Xiaoyu’s. There is also a photo of me with him.Zu Xiaoyu is really similar to me, even I think it myself, but her face looks a little softer than mine.

Picking up Ruan Yuchen's photo, I realized that I didn't even have a photo with him, the only photo of us at the same time was a group photo of the class.Looking at him in the photo, smiling so handsomely, stroking the photo, as if he never left at all.

Put the photo back into the box, picked up the notebook, looked at the lock, and suddenly remembered what the senior told me, the anniversary of him and Zu Xiaoyu was also Zu Xiaoyu’s birthday, I tried it, clicked it, and it actually opened .

The diary was written after Zu Xiaoyu left, to be precise, after Yuchen's mother left. Each entry is in the form of a letter, and it also seems to be talking to herself.It is full of their memories, and it also records what happened every day, as well as his thoughts. When nothing happens, he will write a few sentences, and some even only have a few lines.There is a period of date in the middle that is blank, and it is probably the days of the college entrance examination. There are comments about me, saying that I am cute and similar to her, and I really want to keep me by my side. Unfortunately, I am a boy and say that I am angry Got it, got it, he took me as her, said he was very sad, a lot, a lot.

Then there was another period of blankness. It was the time when my grandma passed away. The handwriting in the last article was a bit scribbled. I think it might be because I couldn’t hold the pen, but this article was written for me.

<Wu Qiong:

When you read this diary, I have already left. In fact, I did not break my promise. I have always been with you, haven't I?Don't complain that your uncles and aunts didn't tell you the truth. I didn't let them tell you. I don't want you to have any burden in your heart before the operation. If you are fine, I will be fine. Don't forget, my heart is with you, replace me Keep it safe.

In fact, I have been sick for a long time, but Yuchen didn’t know, and no one knew except my father. I took a lot of medicine and received a lot of treatment, but in the end I couldn’t save my life. I thought, maybe my mother missed me, maybe it was Yu I am lonely in the morning, maybe my grandma is lonely, anyway, I am going to see them.But I can't just leave quietly like this, I want to fulfill Yuchen's wish, and I don't want to completely disappear from this world, I give you my heart, you take care of it for me, live for me, you can have it With a good body, my life can also be extended. Isn't this the best of both worlds?

Wu Qiong, I want to tell you that when I saw you for the first time, I really only regarded you as Xiaoyu, but later I felt that you were really cute, and I really wanted to take care of you as a younger brother, but you did not forgive me, In this case, what else can I ask for.Later, when I saw that you and Yuchen had a good relationship, I was very happy. I imagined that one day we could also be Xiong-Di. When Yuchen told me about you, I felt awkward at first, but then I was relieved. Now that you are in love, why care about gender and worldly views?As long as two people love each other, it will be fine.

Unexpectedly, Yuchen left just like that, and the Xiong-Di relationship we had returned with great difficulty was broken again. When he finally left, he was still holding on to the phone. I knew there must be something important there, so I opened the phone. I heard a recording. I don’t know if you listened to it. When you were unconscious, we had no choice but to play that recording over and over again, trying to wake you up with Yuchen’s voice, but it still didn’t work.

Wu Qiong, now that we are not by your side, you must know how to take good care of yourself and live a happy and happy life. This is not only Yuchen, but also my wish, to help us see all the beautiful scenery in the world, taste all the delicacies in the world, and experience hundreds of things in the world. We will look at you in the sky, remember, your happiness is the best explanation for us.

There are joys and sorrows in the world, and there is no banquet in the world. In your words, we just took a step too early. Don't be sad. We will meet again in the next life. We are still good buddies.Wu Qiong, after I'm gone, take a look at Dad for me. It's really not easy for him, so I won't write too many words. >

54

There are not too many words, no touching words, just a dying person at the deadline, flatly narrating the past, quietly explaining the future, I thank him, thank you Yuchen, thank you Uncle Jin, thank you all people.I, Wu Qiong, am just an ordinary person who couldn't be more ordinary, but I never expected to get such an extraordinary love. They sacrificed their lives for me, and I will live bravely for them. I want to be good, I must be good.

Regarding the recording on Yuchen’s cell phone, I actually listened to it once later. It turned out that I didn’t dream about Yuchen when I was unconscious, but the recording played by the senior, which allowed me to see Yuchen’s last state.I put all the memories about them into the box, two notebooks about the seniors, a broken walkman, the mp3 that Yuchen gave me, their photos, and three mobile phones, the seniors’, Yuchen’s, and The one my senior gave me.Together with my love, and the heart that loves them.After that, I never dared to listen to that song "With You in My Life", because every time I heard it, Ruan Yuchen's intermittent singing would linger in my ears, and every time I thought of him, my heart would ache.

I sealed everything up, and I went to a nursing home. Uncle Kim was heartbroken because of the loss of two sons in a row. The company was in a downturn and was facing bankruptcy. His whole body suddenly collapsed, and he had mental problems. I watched him sitting on the steps under the dusk , facing the sunset, with gray hair and an old face, this is not the state that a 40-year-old man should have at all.He stared blankly at the setting sun, murmured something in his mouth, couldn't hear clearly, and ignored him, but I still sat with him all night, and I told him about me and Yuchen , Tell him about the senior, I don’t know if he heard it, but then he stopped talking, just listened to me quietly, but never looked at me.

A few days after returning home, news came that he committed suicide by jumping off a building. I looked at the white clouds in the sky and thought silently, this is good, the family is reunited!

Qingming, I went to the cemetery. This is the first time I have seen Yuchen and the seniors. I didn’t have the courage to face the fact that they had left before, but now I am relieved. Since I have chosen to live a good life, I have to face it bravely. right.Put down a bouquet of wild chrysanthemums, clean up the tomb, and put a lot of snacks. Although I don’t know if they like it or not, they will be happy if I give it to them. I also put a few cans of beer. They all like to drink beer. They drink enough.

Sitting between Ruan Yuchen and the senior, I opened a can of beer, "Come on, I couldn't drink with you before, it's not too late to drink with you now, you two weirdos always say that you don't like birthdays, I don't even know you What's your birthday, that's fine, let's spend it together in the future, today is our birthday, long time no see, happy birthday! Cheers!"

As I said this, I drank a can of beer with tears in my eyes, sighed, and said, "You guys are really willing to leave, and let me live well for you, really him, you know how to live well How difficult is it?"

I opened a can of wine again, and said to Ruan Yuchen's photo, "Did you cause trouble over there? Enough is enough, don't play young master's temper, no one will suffer from you like I do, always call back and forth , Are you tired, reform yourself, and strive to be a man again! Also, don’t miss me too much, you’re not young anymore, marry a ghost lady and live it! When I find you, your ghost days will be over, these Older people are not lonely, are they?"

After taking a sip of beer, he said to the senior, "Senior, have you seen Xiaoyu? Cherish it, we are finally together, how nice! Tell her for me, I used to be jealous of her to death, and now I'm jealous, because the two of you are by her side again, I really just look like her from the beginning to the end, I thought I was alive, at least I still won her. Unexpectedly, in the end, I still lost I gave it to her, I admire her, but I don’t hate her, I want to thank her, she let me know you, made me happy once! Well, I will be happy in the future! Come, toast to happiness!”

As I said that, I drank half a can again. I have never drank alcohol, but now I have only drank two cans of beer, and I feel dizzy.Sit there and continue talking.

"Also, take care of Yuchen if you have nothing to do, don't let him always look like a hooligan, he is very handsome and always does hooligan things!

Ruan Yuchen, let me tell you, hurry up and restrain yourself, if you continue to behave like this in your next life, I will be entrusted to be a boy, and we will never be together!Then I'll grab your wife, sir, and I'll make you get angry!Don't be angry and violent when the time comes, that's what you asked for.

You, I’m not talking about you, you’re on good terms with your seniors, you’re both dear Xiong-Di, this time both mothers are together, and you’re also reunited as a family, what’s still going on, right?

I'm fine, I'm fine too, you don't have to worry about it, huh?I said, do you miss me?I really miss you a little...

Well, I really thought about it, you said that you are really bastards, one or two are like this, you leave as soon as you say, without saying hello, leaving me alone, but I always end up stupid know the news.Sometimes I feel that you have not left, sometimes I feel that you have been away for many years, sometimes I dream of you in my dreams, and I can’t remember anything when I wake up.

Are you really him, you bastards!I am the only one who thinks about you every day, but you keep telling me to live a good life. Now I finally let go and come to see you, but I still talk to myself, you talk to me, talk to me, I miss you, I really thought about it..." I finally couldn't help it, I still cried out, everything was so beautiful in the past, but now it's all bubbles, the happy time with Ruan Yuchen came to the fore again, I touched his photo, As if his people were there.

?Close your eyes, and you will see Ruan Yuchen's face in front of you. When you are happy, your eyes bend into a crescent moon. When you are scheming, you smile evilly. When you bully me, you threaten domineeringly. Mouth, and the face that is almost hideous with blue veins exposed when angry... The more I think about it, the more I can't stop crying. I think of us watching the sunrise and sunset together, going to the cafeteria to eat together, studying together, and helping my mother with the work in the store together. Son, we huddle together on the sofa to watch TV, snatch game consoles, and lie on the bed together to read and listen to music...

I remembered that my senior ate watermelon with me, invited me to eat fried chicken racks, and even framed me for a drink. He took me to drink the first glass of wine in my life, and he took away my first kiss. I remembered that he was on Xiaoyu’s birthday. That sad look reminded me of his body temperature when he blocked Ruan Yuchen's ball for me, and remembered all the things he gave me presents, made me a snowman, spent Christmas with me, and celebrated my birthday.Their faces are the same as before, but their age stays in place forever.I don't know how long it took, I drank all the beer, stood up staggeringly, said goodbye to them, and then left without looking back. tears.

The people who love me and the people I love have left, and I live alone. I regard Qingming every year as the birthday of the three of us, and spend it with them every year.I also went to tell them happy things, and told them sad things. Until our relocation, I worked and moved to another city. The busy life made me have no time to see them again, and then slowly blurred lost memory.It wasn't until I moved again and saw the box that sealed my memory that they came back into my life again.

, beautiful youth, others are happy, happy, but mine, but lost two favorite people. In November 1999, Ruan Yuchen left, and in March 11, Jin Yuhao left.Mine is destined to be sad!

I don't remember who sang a song, and I forgot the name of the song, but there are a few lyrics that I remember deeply, "I will be fine, the flowers are still fragrant, time goes on, memories are beautiful, I will think of you , always thinking about you, you have become a secret in my heart! >

I thought that I would forget them as the years passed, but I didn't expect that they are always in my memory, and the beating heart reminds me all the time that it doesn't belong to me, and I live for another person , they will always be a secret in my heart.I have never been in love, it’s not that I don’t want to, but I really can’t find someone like Ruan Yuchen. I don’t know what my future life will be like, but the life in front of me must continue, as always.

The story is over, those who are hovering on the edge of love, I want to remind you, the world is impermanent, cherish the present, not everyone will love you so wholeheartedly, life is short, do it and cherish it!