But what did Dazai do wrong?

As a new doctor, Osamu Dazai has authority that does not match his qualifications in the laboratory.

The handsome black-haired young man wandered around the pure white building casually, faceless white faces were quietly pasted behind the glass wall, and his head moved slowly with him, like a thriller with a shortage of funds.

"Because I don't know them in reality, so they can't grow a face out of thin air in the dream?" Osamu Dazai looked at the experimental subject behind the glass wall.

He couldn't see many details clearly, this was an incomplete dream, the only two protagonists were him who fell into the dream and the person he dreamed of.

Where is the little girl who obediently waited for him to find?

"Chirp Chirp." A crisp bird song sounded behind Osamu Dazai.

He raised his head, and he was standing in an open-air courtyard just now, the lawn was dotted with green grass, struggling to get out of the thick snow.

Dreams do not need logic, they are a web of delusion, magic, memory and longing. As long as Osamu Dazai is thinking about the law, the dream will bring him to her side.

Little Lili stood barefoot on the grass.

She spread out her palm, holding the crushed bird food in her palm, and the sharp beak of the gray Joan bird pecked back and forth on the little girl's white and tender palm.

The sharp bird's beak pecked at the bleeding hole in her palm, and the flesh and blood squirmed and recovered.The girl raised her fingers and stroked the feathers of Huiqiong bird lightly, and sent it to the sky.

After pecking away the last piece of bird food, the Huiqiong bird flapped its wings and flew away, and soon disappeared.

The little girl in a thin white dress lowered her head and stepped on the snow with her bare feet. She turned her head casually and saw Osamu Dazai standing in the courtyard.

The girl's dark golden eyes quickly swept over the gold-rimmed glasses worn by Osamu Dazai, she pursed her lips, and did not take the initiative to walk towards him.

"She only likes my eyes?" Osamu Dazai was shocked.

What about love at first sight?Isn't my sister very fond of his face?

Dazai Osamu hadn't expected that the younger Riri was more picky than the older one.

This can't blame Xiaoli.She was born with a love for gemstones and eyes that are more beautiful than gemstones, but "slim, weak and melancholic beautiful boy" is a taste only adults have, and she is still a child.

The beauty trap hooked by the little girl failed, and Osamu Dazai could only take the initiative to attack.

He walked up to Xiao Lili as if he hadn't noticed anything, and squatted down to look at her.

"Luri-chan, what are you doing here? Why don't you wear shoes?"

Stepping barefoot in the snow, the little girl whose skin was paler and sicker than the snow tilted her head: "What did you call me?"

"Runri." Osamu Dazai asked back, "Isn't that your name?"

Yes, but no one here calls her by her first name.They would only say "Miss Yamabuki" and never asked her if she liked the title.

"The doctor called me Shanbuki." She asked lightly, "Do you like ditanghua?"

"I like you." Dazai replied.

Double entendre.

To Osamu Dazai's disappointment, his "confession" failed to bring about a surprised expression on Riri's face.

The beautiful and beautiful girl glanced at him indifferently. At this time, she was very similar to the adult version of Riri Yamabuki, with disbelief written undisguisedly in her pupils.

"Is liking you so unbelievable?" Osamu Dazai asked her, "Is it because no one has ever confessed to Riri-chan, or do you think that no one really likes you?"

His question was a little too much.

There are a lot of people who admire Shanbuki's law in Hakata and Ikebukuro, but no one confesses that it is true, because they are afraid of her power, wantonness and inhumanity.

The latter question is even more excessive, asking a child who grew up in a laboratory as long as he can remember and was raised as an experimental product and a war machine, "Do you think you deserve to be truly liked?", killing people.

A weaker child might be questioned by him about the collapse of his personality, doubting himself, doubting the world, and completely denying himself.

Little Riri only stared at Osamu Dazai indifferently.

The girl leaned over, suddenly took off his glasses, and stared at her own reflection in the kite eyes.

"I like your eyes," she said bluntly, "that's the whole reason I want to talk to you."

"It's so beautiful, the most beautiful I've ever seen." Little Riri folded the gold-rimmed glasses and inserted them back into Osamu Dazai's chest.

Possibly for a moment of appreciation, she answered Osamu Dazai's earlier question:

"It's not hard to believe that it's easy to like me. There are many people who like me because of my appearance or strength, because of self-righteous compassion and superior charity."

Dazai was startled.

The poor little girl who was isolated and excluded in his eyes spoke indifferently, and her eyes were still childish, but she could see them more clearly than anyone else.

"They love the face." She pointed to hers, "and the power and potential in this body."

"In their eyes, I am a particularly pitiful miserable person. I have no father or mother. I have no kinship. I am lying on the test bench like a commodity on the shelf. How can I ask them not to pity me and give me alms?"

Xiao Lili looked indifferent: "Many doctors, regardless of gender, they are close to me based on the above reasons."

"As for you, there is no exception."

So she didn't pay attention to the person she was talking to at all. If Osamu Dazai hadn't had a pair of eyes that she liked especially, and if he hadn't called him by the right address as soon as they met, the little lawyer would have ignored him and walked away.

But those iris eyes are really beautiful.Not only the color and slightly rippling water light, but also the hidden gloom and indifference are the madness deep in the soul, a depressive and suffocating beauty.

Osamu Dazai said he liked her, but Riri didn't believe it at all.

How can a person with such a heavy heart talk about liking so easily?

Absolutely, a lie.

It doesn't matter if you lie, Xiaoli has a high tolerance for people with beautiful eyes, and he speaks nicely, much more pleasing to the eyes than the doctor.

There was an ID card on the chest of the white coat, and the girl took a closer look: "Doctor Dazai? Are you new here? Which laboratory do you work in?"

Dr. Dazai pronounced the word "Dr. Dazai" in her mouth, and she had a different feeling.

"I'm the exclusive doctor who works for Riri-chan." Being turned against by a little girl failed to deal a blow to Osamu Dazai. On the contrary, such a little Riri had the shadow of an adult he was familiar with.

Riri Yamabuki has a lot of secrets, and what he shows in his daily relationship is just the tip of the iceberg.Her words and her expression were shrouded in mist, false and true.

"My exclusive doctor?" Little Lawyer repeated it eloquently, half understanding, "So, are you here for today's blood draw? You came to me for this matter?"

When she mentioned the blood draw, her expression didn't fluctuate, but when she said the second half of the sentence, her tone was slightly cold.

"No." Osamu Dazai stretched out his hand and scratched the girl's naked ankle with his fingertips, it was bitingly cold, "I just want to ask you, why don't you wear shoes?"

Little Riri was stunned for a moment, and then remembered that the first sentence Dazai Osamu said to her was two questions: what are you doing here and why don't you wear shoes.

"I don't have shoes." She replied, "The doctor said that bare feet are better for training sensitivity, and you will get used to it after scratching your feet a few times. Only ordinary people need to use shoes to protect their feet, and I don't."

Damn, why is this idiot doctor still alive?

"...Don't you hurt?" Osamu Dazai remembered, "Oh, you don't hurt."

Riri Yamabuki said that she felt missing.

"I hurt." Little Riri blinked, and replied unexpectedly to Osamu Dazai, "Why doesn't it hurt? People hurt when they get hurt. Isn't it a monster that doesn't hurt?"

"But you won't hurt when you grow up..." Osamu Dazai muttered to himself, "Ah, that's right."

He got it.

It hurts, it hurts all the time.It’s just that the fact of pain cannot be changed, and with the ability to strengthen cells, when the damage is getting more and more painful, the body itself gives up the sense of pain perception, and gradually loses the sense of pain, giving birth to a pure monster.

People who can't feel their own pain can't feel the pain of others, and people who lose the ability to empathize are monsters.

She knew it before, she knew that she was gradually becoming the monster in her mouth when she was a child.

Maybe it was Osamu Dazai's expression that made the girl who was not used to being pityed by others notice something. She stepped on the snow under her feet: "The snow is very soft and comfortable to walk on. The corridors and laboratories are also very clean."

The implication is that it doesn't matter to be barefoot, after all, she is really used to it.

Osamu Dazai straightened up without saying a word, changing from the usual perspective of Riri Riri to looking down.

A ten-year-old girl whose head only reached his waist.Osamu Dazai held her shoulders with one hand, pinched her waist with the other, and gently picked her up from the snow.

Suddenly soaring into the air, the little girl's thin white legs kicked in the air, she subconsciously hooked the man's neck, and put her elbows on Osamu Dazai's shoulders.

"It's so tall." She admired softly, looking around curiously like a real little girl for the first time, "Can I grow so tall in the future?"

"Just a little shorter than me." Osamu Dazai said.

He also discovered that Riri Yamabuki has a characteristic from childhood to adulthood: she is not often surprised, and she gets used to everything quickly.As long as you don't make her feel uncomfortable, she's fine with it.

Even if you are picked up and walked by someone you meet for the first time, it's the same.

That's right, adults who were invited to die in love by someone they met for the first time accepted it calmly.

Osamu Dazai underestimated himself too much.

If the person who did these things was not him, but someone else, there would be no second possibility except that the head fell to the ground.

Be safe with whatever happens, but depends on who you meet.

In a sense, his beauty trick was a big success.

"Are you going to take me to the laboratory?" Little Riri was carried away by Osamu Dazai, shaking his white feet in the air, "The direction is wrong, it's on the other side."

"We're not going to the laboratory." Osamu Dazai could feel the girl in his arms lying on his shoulders like a kitten, her slender and soft body was as light as a feather that couldn't be grasped, green and fragile.

As if a girl who would break when twisted, asked the person holding her in the most ordinary tone if it was time to draw blood, as if Osamu Dazai's gesture of treating her as a treasure was just a vain comfort before the pain came, not worth indulging in.

Does the girl outside the dream think the same way?

Follow the principle of fairness, you come and go, tender like honey, sober almost cold.

The strange impulse made Osamu Dazai really want to get out of the dream and have a big fight with his girlfriend until her calm mask shattered.

Reason made him change the subject lightly and distract the girl in his arms.

"If drawing blood hurts, won't you resist?"

"The doctor will give me anesthesia." Little Riri's attention shifted quickly, and Dr. Dazai was also a member of other doctors in her eyes, and sooner or later he would do the same thing to her.

"Anesthesia gas, anesthesia-drugs, sonic stun... I've tried all methods, and my resistance is getting stronger and stronger. I hope I can block the pain before the anesthesia completely fails."

It is not difficult to guess that the adult Yamabuki Riri must have terrible drug resistance.

Every one of her abilities was honed in this inhumane place.

Osamu Dazai forgot where he read it, roughly saying that childhood has an unimaginable impact on a person's life, and those who did not feel happy in childhood are likely to lose the ability to be happy when they grow up.

It was almost unrealistic for him to hope that this place would bring even a little bit of happiness to the young Riri Yamabuki.

"Lilijiang, is there anything interesting in Russia? I'm not from this country, so I really need some references for vacations."

Little Riri was hugged tightly by Osamu Dazai, and it seemed that the cold feet were not so cold when they touched his chest.

Hearing this, she seriously thought about the places she had been to when she went out on missions, and counted out a few place names with good impressions.

"...I like the square the most. I heard that there will be performances and parades on Christmas Eve." Little Lawyer counted with his fingers, "Christmas is only a week or two away. It would be great if I could apply for a mission to go out."

"—I'm afraid not, Yamabuki, you had a very important medical examination that day."

A piercing male voice interrupted the conversation between Osamu Dazai and Riri-chan.

The voice was indescribably ugly, the owner of the voice was simply the ugliest and most disgusting person Osamu Dazai had ever seen, and he couldn't even describe this disgusting feeling in words, even the white faceless man could not compare with him It looks particularly delicate.

Given that the structure of the dream world comes from the subconscious of the dream owner, it is not difficult to draw a conclusion: this man who is uglier than a mangy frog is the "doctor" in Xiao Lili's mouth.

He certainly doesn't look like this, but in Dazai Osamu's dream, only this appearance is worthy of Dazai Osamu's dislike for him.

The dream comes from Osamu Dazai's subconscious mind and is not completely under his control.For example, he naturally hopes that no one will ever disturb him to get along with Xiaoli, but the exploration of Yamabuki's true past and his concern for the person named Doctor make this plot unavoidable.

Osamu Dazai was not sure about Riri's reaction to the doctor, whether the girl who was obediently hugged by him would break away from him in a panic and jumped down to apologize, or would she nod to the doctor indifferently and pull away the distance between her and him by the way. What about the distance?

Just like people will be woken up by nightmares, even their own dreams are full of powerlessness and unpredictability.

Xiaoli didn't choose any of them.

She has been lying on Osamu Dazai's shoulders, with her back to the doctor.There was no reaction when he heard his voice, he just turned his head and glanced at him perfunctorily, still holding a strand of Osamu Dazai's hair in his hand and playing with it with his little finger.

"Physical examination? I understand." She agreed with her habitually, pulled the end of Osamu Dazai's hair sideways, and urged, "Doctor Dazai, why don't you go?"

No more, don't say hello, just give him a straight look as perfunctory.

Look at the closeness between her and Osamu Dazai, the contrast is stark.

The Doctor twisted his mouth angrily.

Osamu Dazai knew why he was angry: the doctor has always claimed to be the person who cares most about the little law and has the closest relationship with her. Today, he came to give the new doctor a blow. The man was hugged in his arms, with his bare feet hooked around the waist of the handsome young man, as if the cozy cat had finally chosen the right owner and ignored others.

"Doctor Dazai?" The doctor said in a strange tone, "Yamabuki, you actually remembered his name, it's really rare."

Osamu Dazai has no doubt that the reason Yamabuki Riri only used "doctor" to refer to the doctor was because she couldn't remember the man's real name at all.

You are such a failure.jpg

The doctor glared fiercely at Osamu Dazai's hand on Riri's waist, he seemed about to get angry but had to endure it, he couldn't hold back, his eyes were full of depression.

The self-cultivation of the master of human nature research told Osamu Dazai that this kind of depression is called jealousy.

"Ryri-chan." Osamu Dazai asked the girl lying on his shoulder in a low voice, "Do you want the doctor to hold your hand?"

"Huh?" Little Lawyer gave him a very strange look, "I hate physical contact with people, and the doctor won't want my arm broken."

Dazai understood.In this dream, the status of "Doctor Dazai" he holds is far lower than that of Dr. Dazai, the boss of the base. According to logic, the doctor can resign him immediately if he doesn't like him.

——It was Xiaoli Li who got close to him, and he had the unique privilege.

Shanbuki Riri did not lie, her surname "Shanbuki" means Ditanghua, and Ditanghua's flower language is "noble".

Even if it was the Doctor himself who chose the surname for her, this rule must be enforced.

In other words, just because he chose this surname for her, there is absolutely no possibility of him breaking the rules.

What Osamu Dazai didn't know was that the Doctor's jealousy towards him was far less frightening than his shock.

He understands Little Law too well, she is a monster who is so cold-hearted that she is inhuman, no matter how kind of mask you put on, the dark golden eyes are swept away, the flesh and blood are naked-naked-naked and peeled off to dry in the snow, There is nowhere to hide.

They have carefully studied her likes and dislikes. Every word and every detail of their conversations with her has been carefully planned and prepared for a long time, but in the end, all of them fail, and some even lose their attention. killed.

A person who has only been here for half a day for the first time, why?

It wasn't even the most basic physical contact like holding hands, yet she let him hug her!This is unreasonable!It wasn't like this when she locked her throat, chopped off her legs and severed her hands, a dragon!

It's so hateful, it makes me cry when I think about it.

"Take Shanbuki back to her room, Tai, Zai, doctor, doctor." The doctor ordered with a smile on his face, "It's her rest time."

Little Riri yawned, rubbed against Osamu Dazai's shoulder, and purred like a kitten: "Go straight, turn right and the room at the end is mine."

Dazai Osamu gently stroked the little girl's thin back, passed the doctor who looked more and more unfriendly, and left without looking back.

Little Riri kept his back to the doctor, and when Osamu Dazai passed the doctor, he immediately turned around to take a look at the little girl on the young man's shoulder.

He only met a pair of indifferent kite eyes.

Osamu Dazai turned sideways slightly, put his index finger on his lips, and hissed softly.

A scalp-numbing chill penetrated into the doctor's cap, and he shuddered, then froze in place and watched the two go away.

Little Law Li's room was in a rather remote place, with no neighbors around.Like other experimental subjects, she lived in a room partitioned by glass walls, and the only color in the room was pure white.

"Doctor Dazai, where do you live?" The little girl was placed firmly on her own bed, she spread her limbs and rolled on the big bed, and the edge of the white skirt was folded like flowers.

Osamu Dazai raised his hand to pull the rolled skirt back to its original position for her, and said briskly: "I don't know, I offended the doctor badly today, he might let me sleep on the street."

"It's quite comfortable to sleep in the snow, and you can watch the stars at night." Little Riri rolled over again, "But Dr. Dazai looks so weak, he might catch a cold."

Thank you, stop reminding others of the fact that people's physiques cannot be generalized.

Dazai once again pulled the little girl's rolled up skirt back to its original position.

Little Lawyer stopped rolling, resting her chin on her hands, sinking her elbows into the soft bed, raising her calf and swinging leisurely in the air, like a young deer, slender but vigorous.

"I have no place to live, so pitiful." Osamu Dazai sat on the edge of the bed, stretched out his hand to pull the broken hair from the little girl's forehead behind her ears, "Can Riri-chan take me in?"

Little Lili didn't say yes or no, her bed was more than enough for two people, but there was only one pillow.If she wants her to share her things, there must be some benefits.

"If we sleep together," Osamu Dazai whispered to her, "we can whisper. Has Riri-chan ever whispered to anyone?"

No, never.

Little Lawyer was immediately intrigued.

Riri Yamabuki is very curious about the lives of ordinary people. Although she has always been an outrageous person, she has a heart longing to become reliable since she was a child.One of the direct reasons why she agreed to Osamu Dazai's invitation to die in love was to "experience the love life of ordinary people".

"Okay." The girl also said in a low voice, "Then what do you want to whisper to me?"

"It's not time to go to bed yet." Osamu Dazai said seriously, "You can only whisper after the lights are turned off. Riri-chan hasn't said whether she wants to take me in or not."

"Half the pillow for you." Little Lawyer said generously, "The quilt can cover you completely, so you don't catch a cold."

Osamu Dazai: Thank you, don't score twice.

He sadly found that whether he was a juvenile or an adult, in the eyes of Riri Yamabuki, the label of "weakness" on him could not be torn off at all.

Except for a few overtime freaks, the lab workers have almost the same schedule.Little Lawyer is sleepy, the time to turn off the lights must be coming soon.

With a bang, the whole building turned off the lights.

The little girl gave up half of the pillow. She intended to give up the entire quilt to the weak Dr. Dazai, but was firmly rejected by his man's dignity, so she had to huddle in the same quilt and get very close to each other.

"Can you whisper?" the girl asked in a breathy voice, curled up, her eyes bright like a curious little civet cat.

"Okay." Dazai Osamu was very cooperative, and his voice was extremely low, "We have to talk about some dangerous topics, so it can be called a whisper."

"Dangerous topic?" Xiao Li was puzzled, "The most dangerous person in the entire laboratory is right in front of you."

Too self-aware for this friend.

"What I want to talk about is Riri-chan." Osamu Dazai continued calmly.

The girl blinked and looked at him curiously.

"Ruri-chan." Osamu Dazai approached her in the dark, the hot breath of his breath lingering in the girl's soft hair.

"Do you want to consider elope with me?"