But what did Dazai do wrong?

"……elopement?"

In the darkness, the girl's eyes were as clear as a galaxy sprinkled with grains of gold, and her black hair was spread like silk on the snow-white pillow cover, as clean as snow.

"Do you want to escape from here?" She said softly, "I can't."

Little Riri raised his hand and drew a circle on Osamu Dazai's cheek, and his fingertips swept down, drawing specious patterns.

"Here, here and here, stepping into the zone without a permit, the heat will vaporize you."

"That area is full of surveillance, and invisible lasers fill the air."

"Every experimental subject has the obligation to capture the fugitive." Her fingertips were placed on Dazai Osamu's heart, "If you want to escape, I will be the first person to kill you."

The heart stopped beating uncontrollably.

"However," the little girl changed the subject, "Dr. Dazai was invited by the doctor to work, right? If you want to leave the base and submit an application, it's fine. You can resign after signing the confidentiality agreement. You can leave at any time."

Osamu Dazai grabbed the wrist that was touching his heart, and took a light breath: "Ri Li-chan, elopement is a matter between two people."

"What's the point if I go alone?"

Little Riri let Dazai Osamu grab her wrist, and the tiger's mouth was stuck between the slender and pale wrists, and the bandage rubbed against the skin to make it warm and itchy.

After a long time, she spoke:

"I don't want...that hurts too much."

It hurt so much, the bullet embedded in the flesh and exploded, and the high temperature evaporated the skin, giving off a burnt smell.

Her abilities have not yet evolved enough to resist these injuries, and her pain perception has not been dull enough to ignore such pain.

"It would have been nice if Dr. Dazai came a few years later." Little Riri took her hand from Dazai Osamu's palm, she turned her back to him, "I'm sleepy, I'm going to sleep."

How many years later?In the later years, she could break out of the cage without him.

Osamu Dazai felt troubled for a long time.

He looked at the girl's thin back, where an independent soul was hidden.

In the world outside the dream, she lived alone in the cold cage for 15 years, and then she broke the cage and stepped into the world.Growth, pain, strength, everything is the fruit of her own little by little accumulation, and she does not need or allow others to intervene.

In the 18 years that he hasn't met, Osamu Dazai can only be a bystander of Yamabuki Riri's life.

He thought he was here to save her.Look, what a great first encounter: a handsome doctor and a helpless young experiment.He deserves to lend a helping hand, and she should rely on his arms. The two join hands to break through the evil base in a thrilling way, defeat the big boss, and clasp their fingers amidst the explosion to promise a better future—a perfect romantic plot that all audiences will love. They applauded.

Osamu Dazai can achieve all of this, this is his dream, and all plots should be compromised by the will of the dream owner.

But why did the little lawyer in the dream refuse?

Is it because he knew that the person outside the dream would say that?

【Yamabuki Riri never needs to be saved. 】

Dreams are futile struggles, dreams are the extension of fantasy, only those who cannot change reality indulge in illusory dreams.

Osamu Dazai knew it was time to wake up, Riri-chan didn't need him at all, didn't he?

Some kind of reluctance clung to him.

"...Christmas, do you want to go to the square to watch the float parade?" Osamu Dazai asked as if his reason was out of control.

Little Riri closed her eyes tightly and tried to fall asleep, but when she heard the words, she failed instantly. She turned over and rolled towards Osamu Dazai with the quilt wrapped around her body.

"I had a physical examination that day." Her eyes brightened, she looked at Osamu Dazai expectantly, but she said, "The doctor said, I can't go."

This is the first time she has sent a clear "help me" signal to Osamu Dazai.

Osamu Dazai's gloomy mood suddenly became clear.

That's right, maybe you can live well without him blowing the law, but it's different after all with him.

For example, a float show that she wanted to see but couldn't.

For example, a Christmas that is not alone.

"Ryri-chan only needs to apply to the doctor once for the task of 'will definitely come back before Christmas'." Osamu Dazai winked at her, "Leave the rest to me."

The time limit for the little lawyer's task is not too tight, and she often stays outside for a while, which the doctor knows and lets go.But no matter how laissez-faire he is, he will not allow the little lawyer to escape the important medical examination.

"If found out, Dr. Dazai will be chopped up and thrown into the snow to feed the wolves." Little Riri tilted his head and reminded him, "Is it okay?"

"Wow, brutal!" Osamu Dazai looked shocked, and his acting skills were so perfunctory that Riri couldn't help curling his lips.

Osamu Dazai shrugged, evoked a lazy and fearless smile, and ruffled the little girl's hair.

"The little guy is only responsible for having fun." He said frivolously, "After-sales service is an adult's business."

Little Riri was dazed by the rubbing, held his dizzy head and gave Osamu Dazai a non-threatening look, and swept away most of the quilt with vengeance.

Relying on the fact that he would not catch a cold in his dream, Osamu Dazai calmly pulled the pitiful quilt over his body.

To beg for perfection, to be submissive, is unbearable to see.

Xiao Lili is another strange woman who will say "my taste is a beautiful boy with a delicate, weak and melancholy personality" in the future, so it is inevitable that she will have some thoughts of pity and pity.

She turned her back to Osamu Dazai, closed her eyes and hurled the quilt wrapped around her body onto Osamu Dazai's face.

"Cover it." The little girl buried her face in the pillow and said sullenly, "Doctor Weak."

Osamu Dazai shook off the quilt amusedly and wrapped the two of them in. He closed his eyes and thought about "what is the experience of sleeping in a dream" while feeling a little worried.

Does the label of weakness really stick to him and cannot be torn off?

Even Xiaotu Zaizhi has a heart to be an Angora rabbit.

Osamu Dazai fell asleep, and he fell from one dream to another.

The pure white bed and walls disappeared, and the little girl sleeping next to him disappeared. He stood in a small room with red and blue wires interlaced, and lines of green numbers were drawn on the terminal in his hand.

Osamu Dazai looked down for a while, and then entered a string of characters on the terminal.

Doors opened in front of him one by one.

From the inside to the outside, from the room with red and blue wires intertwined to the electronic door of mechanical metal, from the cold laboratory door to the gray and black base door, and then to the snow and ice door...

Finally, a small door of colorful floats opened in front of Osamu Dazai.

There are small colorful flags waving in the wind pasted on the door, Santa Claus with a white beard riding a sleigh pulled by reindeer, the stars jumping above the reindeer head into the open door.

Star fruit-like stars fell into the palms of the girl holding her hands, and suddenly turned into glittering gold powder, like bright spots flowing in a crystal ball, covering the person in the center of the picture.

She stood under the window of the Christmas shop, the warm light imprinted on her pale jade skin, as if coated with amber maple syrup.

The little girl stared intently at a candy cane with red and white horizontal bars in the window, and a bandaged hand held the end of the candy stick and handed it to her eyes.

"Merry Christmas."

Dazai said with a smile.

In the falling snow, under the dark sky, the white coat was replaced by a black windbreaker, and the gold-rimmed glasses were replaced by bandages. The real Osamu Dazai stood in front of the young Riri Yamabuki.

The girl looked at his hand for a long time before taking the candy, opened her mouth slightly, and said strangely: "...MerryChristmas."

Subconsciously, she fumbled in her pockets to put the candy away.

Osamu Dazai knew that during this period she was still subsisting on glucose injections, but she didn't understand that sugar was for eating and not for nothing to melt in her pocket.

"Try it." He knelt down and peeled off the transparent sugar wrapper for the little girl, "It's sweet."

Little Riri hesitated, and held the end of the sugar stick in Dazai Osamu's hand.

The sweet taste melted on the tip of her tongue, and the honey dripped into her throat. She smiled unconsciously, with dimples on her cheeks.

"It's really rare to smile." Dazai Osamu murmured, "It's the same with the small ones and the big ones. They obviously look good when they smile, but they are so stingy."

The little girl with a bulging sugar cheek gave her an incomprehensible look, and looked past Osamu Dazai to see the parade floats.

From the perspective of Osamu Dazai’s aesthetics, the parade floats on the square are simple and cheap, but the enthusiasm and joy that can melt the ice and snow are so real, like a handful of fire that can’t be extinguished in Russian winter, burning endlessly.

The float made its final turn, and the dancers waved scarves to bid farewell to the audience.Little Riri looked back happily and regretfully, and tugged at the hem of Osamu Dazai's windbreaker.

"Should we go back?"

"Where are you going back?" Osamu Dazai picked up the phone and shook it, and the buildings replaced by the sea of ​​flames on the screen were billowing with smoke, which was extremely impactful.

Xiao Lili recognized it at a glance, it was the laboratory base she was most familiar with.

"I can't go back." Dazai Osamu said lightly, "Ruri-chan has nowhere to go."

"It's a pity that there is no other option than elope with me—" he drawled.

A mere test base, if you say it will be bombed, it will be bombed.

It's getting cold, and it's time for the doctor to go bankrupt and die.

Little Riri rubbed her eyes, she looked at the image on the screen and at the instigator Dazai Osamu, hesitated for a long time before speaking slowly.

"Eloping...does it mean raising me?"

"Yes."

"But I'm very expensive and expensive." The little girl hesitated to speak, "You...don't embarrass yourself."

How much does it cost to raise a little girl?Even if there are beautiful dresses full of silk, delicate sweets, expensive and cute plush dolls and everything she likes every day, Osamu Dazai can't afford it.

He is really making money. Half of the annual turnover of Port Mafia is due to Osamu Dazai.

Unfortunately, this is Russia, and Osamu Dazai couldn't produce evidence.

Little Riri, who mistakenly thought that Osamu Dazai was a poor worker who went to the base to work for the doctor, from the destruction of the base to Dr. Dazai's unemployment, and then to the sky-high research funds that the doctor spent on her every year, the burden of life comes first. The second time fell heavily on the little girl's slender neck.

"I don't want you to support me." After thinking about it, Xiao Lili said seriously, "Let me support you. I am very capable. I can kill, steal, steal from the rich and give to the poor."

What can the weak doctor Dazai do?He just needs to be raised in a greenhouse by a hardworking little girl like a delicate flower.

One is responsible for making money to support the family, and the other is responsible for being beautiful, with a reasonable division of labor and no problems.

Osamu Dazai realized that he was being underestimated by the little girl sincerely: "..."

Why, no matter whether it is in a dream or not, their role positioning is always!always!in turn? !

Osamu Dazai was determined not to argue with the little friend, so he took the little girl by the hand to buy a train ticket to leave the city.

On the way to buy tickets, Osamu Dazai's thoughts drifted away again.

According to his understanding and the information he bought from Rinya Orihara, Riri Yamabuki was often followed by quite a few support staff when performing tasks in the laboratory, and she was alone in a few high-risk tasks.

In other words, she is only responsible for execution, and someone else will do the details of sneaking in, disguising, monitoring, etc.Her round-trip transportation and glucose for food are provided by a dedicated person, so she doesn't need to worry about any chores other than fighting.

If Riri Yamabuki destroyed the laboratory by herself and left alone, how did she cross the snowfield to the human gathering place?

Go on foot?Maybe, after all, she has enough stamina and physical fitness to support it.But what about after the human settlement?With no money, no way to know, and no basic common sense, she is a ghost wandering outside the society.

No, the Yamabuki Riri that Osamu Dazai knew was outrageous in behavior and looked like a normal person, but at least he wasn't too out of place, and he had a good grasp of basic common sense and conventional skills.

How could the people in the lab teach War Machine common sense?Who taught her her understanding of society and her ability to integrate into the crowd?

She left the laboratory at the age of 15, and came to Yokohama to meet him at the age of 18. During the three vacant years, who was she with?

The train was unexpectedly empty, and Osamu Dazai walked into their compartment with the curious girl.

The base is located on the Russian border, and the nearby towns are sparsely populated. There are few people in the train. Once the door of the box is closed, there is a small independent room inside.

Two sofas that are soft enough for adults to lie on are placed across a wooden table. On the table is a pot of hot tea and a glass bowl filled with fruit candies.

Little Lawyer grabbed a handful of candies and held them in the palm of her hand. She was attracted by the shiny and transparent candy wrappers, and she peeled off one and folded it carefully in the palm of her hand.

Osamu Dazai put the pillow on the edge of the sofa to make a pillow, lay down, and patted the empty space beside him.

The little girl lay down next to him holding the candy wrapper, trying hard to fold the candy wrapper into a shape that could be seen.

...failed, handicap throughout.

Osamu Dazai sighed, resting his chin on the little girl's head, took the crumpled candy wrapper from her hand, folded his fingers flexibly into a small paper crane, and put it back into her open palm.

Little Lawyer blew on the thousand paper crane's wings, the candy paper rattled and shook, really like a crane about to fly.

She can play with a thousand paper cranes for a long time. Osamu Dazai looked at her, unconsciously playing with a strand of black hair around his fingertips.

Tired of playing, the little girl stretched a little, put her cheek against Osamu Dazai's heart, closed her eyes slightly and listened quietly to his heartbeat.

Osamu Dazai thought of the day he and Riri Yamabuki played games all night until they were both sleepy on the sofa, and the two of them squeezed together on the sofa.

People are the most relaxed when they sleep, but the desperadoes and the life-and-death people are on the contrary, ready to fight back and flee at any time if there is any trouble.

The same is true for beasts. Creatures that are used to walking alone and accompanied by blood will always be stretched when they sleep with people, and it takes a long time to adapt before they can relax.

Riri Yamabuki and Osamu Dazai couldn't raise their vigilance when they squeezed on the sofa, partly because Osamu Dazai was very good at it, and she wasn't worried that Osamu Dazai would kill him in his dream. How much does it hurt?Humanoid nukes don't care.

Another part of it—someone taught rogue beasts, wandering ghosts, misfits of the world to get along with people.

Osamu Dazai gently embraced the little girl in his arms, he was approaching the core of the mystery.

As long as you know who Riri Yamabuki met and was influenced by from the age of 15 to 18, you can infer her position, purpose, and loyalty.

There is no information for the time being, and the sweeping is done too well, and she will be hung up and smoked if she tries to force it.

"Aren't you happy?"

Little Riri who was embraced by Osamu Dazai opened his eyes and tugged on his sleeve.

She is surprisingly perceptive.

"Um... yeah, very unhappy." Osamu Dazai said frankly, "I don't know many things about Riri-chan, what you have experienced, who you have met, and why you are alive, I don't know anything .”

Little Lawyer listened quietly without saying a word.

"There's something I've been brooding about for a long time," Dazai Osamu said in one breath, facing the juvenile body of the deity, "I don't even know Riri-chan as well as that demon—before he appeared, I never knew you had a friend named Gogol."

"I don't know either." He paused, "Who led you to integrate into the crowd, who taught you the life of a normal person. Those people are very important to Lilijiang, right? But I haven't heard it from you."

Was it the intruders on the day of the foreign banquet?Port Mafia failed to take a single prisoner, did you pester me in the mist and darkness to free them?

Little Riri couldn't answer Dazai Osamu's question, through those dark golden eyes, he seemed to see the real Yamabuki Riri, looking at his Yamabuki Riri calmly and indifferently.

"In your life, only me will be fine."

As in a dream, saved by him, fleeing with him, cutting off the shackles of the past, the future life is only related to him.

A lonely individual, with another lonely individual.

"Where are you taking me?" After a long time, when Osamu Dazai thought that little Riri would not speak out again, she suddenly asked.

"Yokohama." Osamu Dazai took her hand and wrote strokes in the palm of his hand, "I am from Yokohama, you will like that city."

Little Lawyer had no concept of the outside world. After knowing the destination, she let out an oh and asked, "Is your friend there too?"

"Yeah," Dazai Osamu said, "Odasaku is the father of five children, and Ango is a social animal. We often drink at a bar called Lupin. Riri-chan likes alcohol, doesn't he ?”

"Like it. Will I make friends there?" she asked.

"Of course," Osamu Dazai said without hesitation, "but Riri-chan must stay away from Mr. Mori, he is a pervert."

Little Lawyer: "Do you want to kill him?"

Osamu Dazai: "Unfortunately, he is the one who pays the wages."

Letting Ritsuri Yamabuki raise him can also be said to be "self-cultivation of the little boy", "my sister is hungry for food", and it is completely criminal to ask Riri Yamabuki to raise him.

Osamu Dazai has to prove himself: he is very rich.

After getting off the train and coming to Moscow, the rich Osamu Dazai used his banknote ability to summon a private jet from the port of Mafia. He quickly settled down the little lawyer before Mori Ogai said the tiger and wolf words, and summoned himself remotely. Oda Sakunosuke, a reliable friend of his, asked him about his parenting tips.

"Dazai," Oda Sakunosuke was an honest man even in his dream, he looked at the young Riri and said bluntly, "Are you committing a crime?"

"No, the fact is that the real Riri-chan is two years older than me, and I am not the one who committed the crime anyway." Osamu Dazai introduced Oda Sakunosuke to the little Riri-chan, "Odasaku, bring your children here to start a crime." Welcome to the party."

Reluctantly, the current young Riri and Oda writer's children are considered to be of the same age.

The fireplace is lit, the huge Christmas tree is covered with cute baubles, the pile of presents is as high as a hill under the tree, and the floor is covered with soft carpet that makes people want to roll.

The aroma of roasted turkey is entwined with potatoes, bread, and lamb. Saki Le’s pockets were full of sugar, and she accidentally dropped a few on the carpet. She smiled happily while looking for them on the carpet.

Osamu Dazai was holding the wine glass and standing beside Oda Sakunosuke, never taking his eyes off Riri who was standing with the children.

She doesn't recognize her birth, but she's not very gregarious either. She ate half of a plate of strawberry shortcake. Xingsuke and Shinji rushed away from her with the toy car, and then she put down the plate and went to grope around on the carpet. next to Sakule.

"Are you going to help me find it?" Saku Le patted his pocket, and a few more candies rolled into the depths of the carpet, "The candies are gone."

Little Riley has a high affection for candy, she imitated Saki Le and knelt on the carpet, looking for round candy balls for her.

"Children's friendship is really simple." Osamu Dazai murmured, "However, even Riri-chan should be happy to find candy with Saku."

The difference is that the older one does not do free work, and at least asks for a candy as wages.The small ones have no principle of sanctioning prostitutes, and are willing to work voluntarily.

"They played well," Oda Sakunosuke said.

"Of course." Osamu Dazai said casually, "I said Riri-chan can make friends quickly when she comes to Yokohama."

Beside the Christmas tree, during Christmas carols, under the light of the fireplace, the girl who was groping on the carpet side by side with Saki suddenly raised her head and looked at Osamu Dazai.

There was a happy smile on her face, and there was a trace of gratitude. She was grateful to Osamu Dazai for taking her out of hell, grateful to him for bringing her to Yokohama, grateful to him for letting her make friends, grateful...

No.

Osamu Dazai suddenly had a jolt, and a certain definite inspiration penetrated the fog and hit him.

The lively Christmas carols in my ears suddenly disappeared, and the crackling of the burning wood in the fireplace disappeared, and the surroundings were dead silent, and the figures of the guests dispersed like smoke.

The warm light gradually dimmed and turned into a pale cold light. Pieces of falling snowflakes fell on the smiling girl's shoulders and wet her long hair.

The grateful smile on her lips turned into expressionless indifference when the snowflakes fell.

In the snowstorm in Russia, a barefoot girl in a white dress stands quietly in the snow.

She looked at Osamu Dazai, but there was nothing in her pupils.

The snow fell harder and harder, and the knife-like snowflakes blocked Osamu Dazai's sight. He raised his hand to block the wind and snow, and only vaguely saw the girl's lips opening and closing in the distance. She said...

"—You should wake up."

Osamu Dazai sat up abruptly, his forehead hair was wet with thin sweat, and the fluffy and soft quilt covered him well.

A familiar apartment, a familiar room.

The handmade blue and white fish dream catcher by the bed twirled gently in the air, and the electronic alarm clock lighted up at seven o'clock in the morning.

Osamu Dazai sat on the head of the bed, smoothed his wet hair, and pulled out the photo from under the pillow.

The young Yamabuki Riri looked at the camera indifferently, wearing a light yellow Ditang flower in his hair.

"She... shouldn't be grateful to me at all." Dazai Osamu murmured, "Because I haven't done anything."

He couldn't go back to Riri Yamabuki's childhood, destroy the cage for her, take her out of bondage, let her make friends.

It was Riri Yamabuki who destroyed everything at the age of 15. It was she who found a new life. It was she who established bonds with others. It was she who came to Yokohama to meet Osamu Dazai.

Everything in the dream does not exist, and the lonely little girl in the snowy Russian sky is alone from beginning to end.

It's just that he deluded himself into thinking of himself as a savior, imagining that she would be grateful.

Osamu Dazai suddenly understood where the palpitations he felt when he first got this photo came from.

lonely.

They share the same loneliness.

In the hustle and bustle of the world, there is no escape, only oneself.

Osamu Dazai lifted the quilt and got out of bed, and put the photo in a book on the table.The wind blew through the open door and window, blowing the corner of the curtain.

Osamu Dazai raised his head inadvertently, and snowflakes fell in front of his eyes.

Snowing.

The sound of the morning news came from the living room, Riri Yamabuki got up early as usual, she was sitting on the sofa, peeling half an orange in her hand when Osamu Dazai opened the door.

"Good morning." Hearing the sound of the door opening, Riri Yamabuki tilted his head slightly, "Look outside, it's snowing in Yokohama."

I didn't see each other overnight, but Osamu Dazai felt that time had passed for a long time, as if the little Riri in his dream had crossed the river of time, his eyebrows and eyes were opened, his facial features became more refined, his greenness faded from her body, and his glamor turned into a seductive poison.

Osamu Dazai walked towards Riri Yamabuki without saying a word, picked her up and put her on his lap, and buried his head in the girl's neck.

Holding a half-peeled tangerine in his hand, Riri Yamabuki didn't understand how his cushion changed from a sofa to Osamu Dazai's legs.

"What's the matter?" she asked, "acting like a baby early in the morning."

Osamu Dazai has a lot of questions he wants to ask. He wants to ask her if there were no other children holding hands with her when she was young, so she could only lead herself at the tail of the team.

He wanted to ask her if she had ever looked forward to a Christmas parade, but because of medical examinations and blood draws, she had to spend Christmas Eve lying on the operating table.

He wanted to ask her if in that icy snowy day, the only friend was the Gray Joan, who begged for food from her palm and flew away without stopping after eating.

He wanted to ask her too much, so much that Osamu Dazai opened his mouth, but the words blocked his throat and he couldn't utter them for a while.

Silence spread, Osamu Dazai rested his chin on Riri Yamabuki's shoulder, and asked softly:

"Is it cold in winter in Russia?"

Riri Yamabuki peeled off a piece of orange and fed it to Osamu Dazai.

She wiped her hands with a wet tissue and said casually:

"Did you forget? I'm not afraid of the cold."