nib boy

Lin Ran was sitting in a coffee shop by the window at the moment, holding a warm porcelain cup. Although she had been wearing Yao Lu's coat for a long time, her body was still trembling slightly, and her eyes were dull.

The boy who had been watching him with his chin resting on the opposite side sighed, turned around and waved to the young waitress beside him: "Miss—give me some desserts to replenish your strength. It doesn't matter how much it is." Over there 20 Girls around the age of [-] lowered their heads and walked towards the counter in embarrassment, almost tripping over a chair halfway.

Lin Ran finally raised his head to look at him, his eyes stayed on Yao Lu's rolled up cuffs for a while, his eyes gradually recovered from misty eyes, and his face was full of guilt.

"I'm sorry..." in every sense of the word.

"Why are you apologizing?" The cloud here was calm, Yao Lu picked up Ou Jue who was in front of him and took a sip, then glanced down at his somewhat bruised forearm, and smiled nonchalantly. "...It doesn't really hurt. If you want to thank me, just say 'thank you'. I won't refuse."

Lin Ran buried her head lower when she heard the words, and held the cup tightly with both hands. "...Thank you. This time... and last time too. But you asked me to buy coffee instead..."

"That's necessary. You've spent Christmas Eve with me, so I can't let you pay any more."

As soon as the voice fell, the antique wall clock on the wall rang, and the hour and minute hands overlapped on the number "12" in the middle.

"Oops!!" Suddenly waking up from the soothing and comfortable atmosphere, Lin Ran's delicate brows were filled with anxiety, and he rummaged through his body for a long time before remembering that the coat had been sent to the dry cleaner across the street. "……My cell phone!"

"Here it is. I took it out for you when I went to the dry cleaner." Yao Lu smiled and handed over the phone, in exchange for a grateful look from the young man. Then he pressed the screen nervously, and saw three missed calls. The incoming call and two text messages lay quietly on the message bar.After hesitating for a moment, click on the text message first.

The first one was sent when he was still pressing down on the road, "Where are you now? Can't you stop the car?"

When the second message was sent, he had already been cornered by Su Yang, and the content was still extremely concise: "It's too late, you should go home early and rest. Be careful."

Covering her face with one hand, Lin Ran fell on the table in frustration and wailed softly. "It's over...it's over..."

Yao Lu took the tray brought by the waitress in a leisurely manner, and said leisurely, "Thank you." Turning around, he pushed the Black Forest and creme brulee to Lin Ran's eyes, and licked the tiramisu himself. , casually said: "...is it Ning Ziyue?"

Surprised by the other party's amazing insight, Lin Ranyan sat up. "...Well. I had an appointment to meet...but I broke the appointment."

"Sure enough..." The arc of the corners of her lips deepened quietly, and Yao Lu smiled thoughtfully. "I knew he rushed out of the classroom early in the morning to meet some important person. That's right, it's Christmas Eve."

Lin Ran frowned slightly, the light in his eyes dimmed a bit. "No...we did have an appointment to meet tonight, but he didn't come to see me."

"Didn't I see you?" Yao Lu held her chin in confusion, a little confused.

"Yes. Brother Ning invited me to go to my sister's place tonight..."

Yao Lu opened her eyes wide, the answer was a bit unexpected. "...your sister?"

Lin Ran nodded slightly, lowered her eyes a little embarrassedly, and her voice was very low. "... She and Brother Ning used to be lovers."

At first, he was stunned for a few seconds, and then Yao Lu's eyes lit up suddenly as if his whole body was electrified: "Sack of bridge beans! Is your sister... thin, with straight hair past her chest... she smiles very quietly Seeing Lin Ran's puzzled nod, he became even more energetic, trying to remember and chattering endlessly: "Kind, gentle personality...understanding? Beautiful and simple?"

"You..." Lin Ran finally said slowly, "Do you know my sister?"

Smiling sinisterly and proudly, Yao Lu shook her finger, raised her eyebrows and opened her lips: "Ning Ziyue said it himself. His first love."

"Eh... is that so..." Lin Ran was a little surprised. In the past few years he has known Ning Ziyue, he has almost never seen him talk about himself in front of others.The person in front of him probably gained his trust. "That should be my sister."

Yao Lu asked curiously: "If he chooses to meet today, he probably already regards you as his family? If that's the case, why did he break up with your sister in the first place?"

This time there was a long silence before the boy spoke slowly. "Sister... my sister Lin Yun died in a car accident three years ago today. We wanted to go to the cemetery in the suburbs to visit her after school."

Yao Lu's smile froze on her lips, she was dumbfounded.Lin Ran didn't seem to notice it, and continued to talk in a low voice.

"Back then, Brother Ning didn't voluntarily break up with her... so he still can't let go of it until now. Because he always felt that he caused her to sleep forever, and for a long time after that, he tried his best to alienate everyone around him. People, including me...Actually, I really don't blame Brother Ning at all. That incident was not his fault. He obviously loves his sister so much...how could I blame him..."

As he spoke, Lin Ran's eyes turned red, and Yao Lu slowly sorted out the whole story from the fragmentary words he was immersed in the past, combined with his own imagination.

Yao Lu had overheard the two of them mentioning Quan'er Si on the day of the sports meeting.That's not his real name, it's just a nickname.Everyone on the road called him that, but over time no one knew his original name.According to Lin Ran, the man was a middle-aged man in his 40s. Just from his appearance, he would never have guessed that he was actually a mafia leader with power running through eight big cities.When he was in junior high school, Ning Ziyue favored Zhengsheng under his command. Although he was young, since he grew up under Quan'er's four eyes, his skills and judgment in times of danger were not good enough, and no one raised any questions about it. objection.But the strange thing is that Ning Ziyue never seems to be happy or proud of this, he always does things in silence, and leaves quietly after processing.

Lin Ran and Ning Ziyue, who were completely newcomers at that time, had only known each other not long ago, and they didn't know much about him. They only heard some people in the gang discuss in private, saying that Ning Ziyue's father, Ning Yan, had four books with Quan'er when he was young. It was a fateful friendship, but later he betrayed him in a certain matter, and Quan'er Si was almost sent to prison because of this, but fortunately, he had an acquaintance with Tiaozi who escaped.As soon as he came out of the detention center, he called people from his gang to search for Ning Ling's whereabouts in the city. After he caught him, he was taken to the highest mountain in the suburbs, in front of Ning Ziyue, who was only five years old. Pushed down cruelly.And Ning Ziyue's mother left with a foreigner immediately after her husband's death. Since then, Ning Ziyue has become Quan Ersi's adopted son in name and was forced to work under him until now.

In fact, there is a point where things don't make sense.Now that he is so cruel and merciless, why didn't Quan Ersi just silence Ning Ziyue to avoid future troubles, instead, he could keep him by his side?Can't figure it out.And it's strange, although this person reuses him, he doesn't look like he likes Ning Ziyue at all.The strange atmosphere of stagnant silence when the two get along is by no means any kind between father and son, uncle, nephew or enemy. Quan Er has almost never asked about Ning Ziyue's private life in the past 40 years, until he was surrounded by the quiet as spring The slender figure of a tree.Lin Yun.

This old man didn't know where his nerve was wrong, and his interest in Lin Yun gradually increased, so that he ran to the school gate every three days to block her.The ignorant girl panicked when she sensed something was wrong, but Ning Ziyue understood what was waiting in front of her.That man is not really interested in this girl who is old enough to be his daughter, what he really enjoys is the pleasure of torturing Ning Ziyue.Perhaps killing Ning Ling would be far from relieving his hatred of being betrayed by his best friend. He kept Ning Ziyue by his side all the time, and he was afraid that what he was waiting for was the day when his father's debt would be repaid.Pain, he wants to let the child with that person's blood suffer endless pain.And this pain, Ning Ziyue is used to bear it.He just didn't want to let the person he likes be implicated for no reason.

That winter, he broke up with Lin Yun.He said to her, I'm sorry, I can't protect you.For your own future, you should stop studying here and leave this city as soon as possible.

What else can she say.She knew that the person in front of her loved her so deeply. Even though the feelings in her youth were somewhat blind and ignorant, from the eyes of this person, she could feel that she was cared about.She could see the Qi color in his eyes that couldn't go away, so she knew it.This person was able to calmly say "I'm sorry, I can't protect you" to protect her better.That being the case, how could she be willing to let him struggle again. ... She decided to go abroad.

Ning Ziyue did not go to the airport to see her off that day.Seeing it will only make it harder to let go.However, after the time for the plane to take off, he received a crying call from Lin Ran.

Lin Yun had a car accident on the way to the airport, and died after being rescued by the hospital.

This incident dealt a heavy blow to Ning Ziyue, and its impact was almost as devastating as that of his father's death when he was young.He couldn't remove his responsibility from the accident, and the huge sense of guilt nearly broke him.But in the end, he just quietly attended the girl's funeral, quietly returned to Quan'er's fourth subordinate to work, and quietly gradually alienated all those who could be called "friends" around him.Everyone was shocked by his indifference on the surface, and there were many people who secretly accused him of being heartless and cold-blooded.Only Lin Ran knew that it was nothing more than heartbreak.

It's not that Ning Ziyue doesn't hate Quan Ersi, but he hates himself more.powerless.cowardly.flinch.If at that time, she hadn't let go of her hand... It's a pity, there is no if.

At first, Quan'ersi was a little worried that this tiger cub, which had grown sharp teeth and sharp claws, would do something violent to him, but later found that he had no such intentions.It's just that he seems to have relaxed his vigilance too early.Half a year later, Quan'ersi was arrested by Tiao Zi again and brought into the police station. The crime was the same as before, illegal drug trafficking.But this time, the whistleblower is Ning Ziyue.

When Quan Ersi was released again with his strong relationship, Ning Ziyue had already evaporated from the world.No matter how hard he looked, he couldn't find any trace of him.In fact, Ning Ziyue took the savings he had accumulated over the years after reporting the report, and quickly left the city by train.For a whole year, there was a lot of ups and downs.He has done everything he can.No matter what the ending is, he doesn't want to know anymore.

In this way, after graduating from junior high school, he wandered around the country without a fixed place for a whole year.After the reunion, Lin Ran once asked him why he came back when he was in such a dangerous situation.Ning Ziyue only answered him one sentence at that time, because you and she are still here. ...

"Actually, Brother Ning is still on the way to be hunted down by Quan Ersi. The group of people who held me hostage last time, and the person who planned to blow my head today are all Quan Ersi's current subordinates. Back then, Brother Ning I didn’t think about living when I came back, but I don’t know what Quan Ersi thinks, I just make a little noise from time to time, probably like a cat playing with a mouse...Until today, no real swordsman came to the door.”

Yao Lu listened quietly from the beginning to the end, and the words Ning Ziyue said that day rang in his mind.

"I've been toyed with by him all these years. It's better to say... I've been waiting for my own death for a long time."

"...I just don't want to involve more people."

"One is in America and there's nothing between us to talk about except money. And the other, he died 13 years ago."

"... was killed by me."

How can I say such heavy words with a smile.

Although there are still mysteries that have not been solved, Yao Lu is no longer interested in those complicated details.

He used to think that Ning Ziyue was not an easy-to-approach person, but he never thought that behind his silence there was such a repressed past.It was suffocating.

Such a person, what qualifications do I have to make me stop laughing when I don't want to laugh.What about yourself?Can you do it yourself? ...

"...Just tell me everything about him without authorization, is it alright?" Yao Lu whispered after drinking the remaining cold liquid in the cup.

Lin Ran smiled faintly, and there was an inexplicable look on her childish face.

"I think, if it's you... it shouldn't matter."

++++++++++++++++++++++++

It was 03:30 in the morning when we got back to the dormitory.

Ning Ziyue groped into the warm room with a smell of cold wind all over his body, Bai Yuze and Xie Zhe were both sound asleep.The sleepless fatigue and the dim light prevented him from discovering another empty bed in the corner of the room in time, so he went straight to the bathroom without making a sound, and turned on the light.

Without taking off his coat, he turned on the faucet and splashed a handful of cold water on his face.

The rushing water seemed to wash away the accumulated depression of the night, but the moment he looked up, he saw in the mirror his own deep eyes that were exactly the same as those in his long memory——

No, the eyes at that time were far colder than they are now.

Do not approach anyone.Don't trust anyone.The calmness on the surface is ruthless and fearless, and the struggle and pain of living with sins have been honed a thousand times, even if the blood is bloody, it has already become numb.

He would not die in a fight.So no one can beat him.

"I'm not alive... so I'm not afraid of death."

I still remember that I once faced the sky with my head slightly raised and looked at the rising sun indifferently. After a long silence, I gently leaned my back against a warm head, surrounded by silence.

She was willing to be with him no matter what happened, but what did he do to her? ...

Sure enough, people who have been mixed up a lot in the Tao, no matter how gentle and harmless they are, can easily become cruel.What's more, there was no cure for him.

I have seen my eyes countless times in the past 18 years, but I feel palpitations when I face this moment.

After pausing for a moment, he turned on the water silently. Ning Ziyue brushed back the dripping hair on his forehead, and when he got out of the bathroom and prepared to tidy up before falling asleep, he suddenly heard someone faintly coming from the corridor with a slightly drunk Turn low and whisper.

"The rich gate half-covered someone's courtyard, and I rode past the gate on a white horse. All I could hear was a pipa piercing the sunny sky... Waiting for a young lady in my boudoir, the sound of the zither touched my heartstrings. Looking forward to meeting each other, I will be at her door every day Put paper kites in front..."

Ning Ziyue leaned against the door frame with one hand, frowning and looked at the uninhibited silhouette leaning cross-legged on the window sill at the end of the corridor.The man held a cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other, humming an unknown tune happily, quite enjoying himself.

Got sick again.If it wasn't for the good singing in the middle of the night, it would be like being haunted.

"...Hello." He tried to shout, but the mental patient who was indulging in his own world didn't respond at all. He sighed and had to walk slowly with his pockets in his pocket, and didn't stop until he was in front of him. "...Why aren't you sleeping?"

Only then did Yao Lu realize his existence, and looked up at him with a smile, "Ah, you're back." After a slight pause for a second, he continued with an endless smile, "...Merry Christmas."

Ning Ziyue was stunned for a moment. Before he could react, Yao Lu had already stood up from the window sill. The cold wind swept away, and he suddenly realized that the window behind Yao Lu had been open all the time... and their dormitory On the fifth floor.

That person was unaware of the danger lurking behind him, and after taking a sip of beer, he sang leisurely: "However, the vast sea of ​​people met by chance, who would have broken through all the iron shoes, only in a moment... destined to fall between your eyebrows... ..."

He was pacing carelessly in the narrow space while singing, Ning Ziyue looked up to see him precariously, his slightly pale face flickered with rare panic. "Stop singing...come down quickly."

The fear and panic that had been buried for many years was once aroused, and suddenly swarmed out from those dark corners in his heart, almost drowning him in the abyss of memories.

"Ziyue..." The familiar and vicissitudes of life still called him in a low voice with a smile at the end. "In the future...you have to go on alone...."

Yao Lu lowered her head and stared at his eyes, which suddenly felt pain, and suddenly calmed down with a cigarette in her mouth.

...seems to be overdoing it a bit.

So he didn't continue to mess around, he jumped off the window sill with his shoulders, and threw the empty soda can out of the window.

He knew what his prolonged silence meant this time.Although being speechless is this person's habitual state, Yao Lu has always believed that he is sensitive enough, and most of the time he can easily distinguish his true happiness and anger under his calm appearance.And even so, he can't say that he knows him very well, even if he is familiar with his cold personality and solitary habit, it always seems to complete most of the jigsaw puzzle, because the crucial part is missing and the whole picture cannot be pieced together.

Probably in Ning Ziyue's eyes, he was not classified as a "friend" at all.Not only him, I am afraid that no one can really touch the depths of his heart, because it is taboo, so there is nothing wrong with casual acquaintances.

But tonight, the situation of neither embarrassment nor embarrassment was suddenly broken by Lin Ran's frank confession.Yao Lu couldn't pretend that she still didn't know anything about him, let alone treat him with the same attitude as before.

There was an inexplicable irritability.Why, obviously this matter has nothing to do with me.So, what is it that bothers you? ...

Frowning with a depressed "tsk", Yao Lu took down the nearly burnt cigarette from his mouth and was about to snuff it out with his fingers, but Ning Ziyue stopped it in time.

"...If you're in a bad mood, don't take it out on yourself." He said in a deep voice, pulling the sparkling cigarette butt out of his hand, throwing it on the ground and stepping on it twice. "Go back to sleep..."

Staring at the tall back of Ning Ziyue who turned around and took a step ahead, Yao Lu froze in place for a few seconds.

what--

What are you doing-

How did this cold guy discover his quirk of using his finger as a smoke extinguisher whenever he was in a bad mood? ? ...

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☆、Fanwai Sanya

Your heart is like a cliff over which no one can build a bridge.If you don't choose to jump off, you will never be able to get close to it.

—— Lin Yun

The standing autumn grass on the top of the mountain, which still had some vitality, was trampled into a mess by the footsteps, and even his inexplicably frightened heart shivered in the cold wind.

He couldn't see who was holding him tightly behind him, and after struggling twice, he couldn't move at all.But you can't blame him, the other party is a sturdy adult, and he is only five years old.

All the places on the top of the mountain that can be settled are gradually crowded with people.Some of these people's faces were familiar and some were unfamiliar, but without exception, there was an unknown solemnity.Maybe it was because the battle was too tense. After standing for a long time, he only felt that the scene in front of him was gradually blurred in the dazzling light, and then he could no longer tell who they were, so he simply closed his eyes and lowered his head in a daze. .

I had a faint feeling that something bad was about to happen.Just because I couldn't figure it out, I became more and more anxious.In the past, as long as his father returned home from an injury, he would always have that ominous premonition early on.

I dare not think about it.I don't want to think about it. ...

He stubbornly lowered his eyes and stared at the limp and fallen plants under his feet, only to realize that the autumn grass had already been covered with frost.

Seasons change frequently, and what can remain the same.

At nearly five years old, he is not yet able to think about such profound issues, but it doesn't matter.He still has such a long future to figure out.

He couldn't remember how long he waited with this group of people that day, before he finally ushered in his father, whose hands were bound and the car door was roughly closed.The face that was always full of tenderness towards him in the past was now in a mess full of scars, but what shocked him even more was the person who stepped out of the car afterwards.

"Father..." First, he subconsciously called his father, then raised his eyes at a loss to see the handsome man with a faint scar on his brow bone walking towards him with a smile, and said hesitantly and timidly: "Uncle Quan... ...?"

The man didn't react too much, he just patted his head lightly, and then with a wink he ordered his subordinates to take Ning Ling to the edge of the cliff. It seems that it will slip and fall at any time under the push.

"...Dad!" He seemed to have finally realized what the scene in front of him meant, and the sudden burst of brute force almost made the people behind him unable to catch him.At this time, the man surnamed Quan steadily extended his hand to easily block his way forward.

"...It's too dangerous over there, Ziyue." He said, pressing his shoulder with considerable weight, and there was still a calm smile on his lips. "Be obedient and stay here. Stand by my side."

"No!" He replied firmly, gritted his teeth without giving up the struggle, and tried hard to suppress the violent emotional fluctuations in his words, stopping every word. "... let go of my dad, and I will stand still."

Hearing this, the man showed a headache and indulgent expression, "It's really... neither of you father and son is reassuring." He sighed embarrassingly, and the faint smile reappeared on his face.

"Okay." He let go of his hand and smiled lightly. "If—if you'd jump out of there instead of your father, I'd let him go. How?"

He was still in a daze, but the person on the edge of the cliff finally couldn't hold back his bone-piercing anger, and yelled: "Quan'er Si——you are not a fucking human!!!"

The man smiled deafly, and still looked down patiently at his flustered and hesitant eyes.The dark pupils that belonged to a young child were still crystal clear.

Right now, fear is clearly written there.

Many years later, he could no longer simply attribute his silent and stupefied reaction to the child's natural fear, but to avoidance, withdrawal, and outright cowardice.

It doesn't matter what the result is, even if he knows that no matter what happens, that ruthless man will not let his father go, but it is destined to become a knot in his heart.Guilt is not something that can be automatically eliminated by simply diluting it with time.

First the father, then the lover.He is equivalent to sending their lives with his own hands.

The man was trying to convince him of it.

It was him, not him, who personally killed the most cherished people around him one by one.

But why.Why exactly.

When he was young, he couldn't figure it out anyway, the funny and friendly uncle who would come to visit every now and then, the uncle who always liked to hold him high on his shoulders and swagger through the city, the one who would smile with trusting eyes when talking with his father Uncle, why did you do it so ruthlessly.

He gave the most cruel multiple-choice question in history, and watched his father resolutely jump off the cliff for the safety of his son, and watched the young man who grew rapidly year after year but became more and more silent, forced to work day and night because of his guilt. The torment of Xi has never smiled again.

What kind of existence is father in everyone's heart?

He was too young then to give a complete definition of that bond of blood.

He only knew that his father was not a person who was good at expressing his feelings, he always acted faster and more than words.It doesn't matter whether he often stays out at night, or he always comes and goes in a hurry due to busy affairs, although the definition of "hotel" may be more accurate for him, his love for his son has never been reduced by half.

Before leaving home in the early morning, he would kiss his forehead lightly, and no matter how late he came back, he would not forget to check the corners of the quilt that he kicked off.In my spare time, even on working days, I would take him out for crazy fun, and I would not hesitate to buy anything expensive or rare to satisfy his whim, even if it was only for 3 minutes.

Such a father who is not good at words but cannot be more gentle.Always like to look back at his father who quietly smiled and held his hand waiting for him to hold him.

He could die for him whenever he wanted, but he couldn't.

How great the love of being a parent is, he experienced it earlier and deeper than all his peers, but it was shocking.

That day, he looked at the empty cliff foolishly, knowing that the familiar figure would never appear again after being swept away just now.There was no such a person who turned his head to look at him lovingly, and waited for him who was left behind to catch up and hold him.

This time he took the first step, and he could no longer catch up with the hasty footsteps.

The wind echoed desolately on the edge of the cliff, and turned and turned a thousand times to complain of being heartbroken. ...

Kneeling weakly on the barren land, he hung his head for a long time without moving, but finally he did not cry.

Everything is far from over, what right does he have to cry.

After being silent for a long time, he slowly raised his head, watched himself put his hand into the palm of the person who was bigger than him, and stood up again with difficulty but firmly.

On the day his father passed away, he secretly swore in his heart:

He wants to stay with the enemy and be a dog at his command, and he must be the most loyal dog.He obeyed him, and even entrusted his life to his hands.

Suppress all hatred and edge, put away sharp claws and just keep a low profile.

Then one day, he will make him pay for his blood debt with interest.

Note: 崝, ancient with Zheng, Rong also.

Yue, often refers to Yue shade, tree shade, so it is a metaphor for shelter.

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