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Heavy, yet light.

"She" and "she" both stood in the distance and waved to me. The Yin-Yang bridge leads to two worlds. At the end of these two worlds, there are countless forgotten histories. We are reincarnated, constantly born and then When we die, we have no real self, no thoughts, we are all manipulated by "it", in the chess game of "it", I am just a pawn...

God is really unfair, cruel things seem to be common in this world, and the world is more like hell than hell.Jealousy, hatred, anger, these things fill people's minds, and the reverse is insensitive indifference, but I committed all the above crimes, and there is another thing, fear.My greatest fear is the endless future.

If at the beginning or now I can know who is manipulating the chessboard, will I be able to get rid of this fate?I dare not think deeply, because the answer is too desperate.

What is real despair?The real despair is that even the despair itself cannot feel the emptiness in the future, there is nothing, a blank space, time is at a standstill, all five senses are lost, even thoughts have stopped, you seem to disappear, but still exists.I think I should be a person who is more rational than emotional, but it seems that I have made a mistake in my evaluation of myself, and my rationality is about to be polished, completely polished.

It's better to go to hell, at least that kind of despair is painful, and as a human being, there are too many emotions to bear.

A person's life is too short, but the process makes me feel impatient. Many people with their own characteristics surround the chessboard, rushing in and out of the chessboard for various reasons. I am a special existence, but when the rotting flesh and bones are also separated, I find that this kind of continuous reincarnation of birth and death is the most terrifying.

Chess players are playing a game, we are all part of the game, circle within circle, world within world, and the player is another game in itself.Whenever I start to think about these things uncontrollably, I will hope that I will never have an afterlife. It is not a kind thing to disappear into a bubble. Reincarnation is the cruelest fact.Even so, in order to make losing look less ugly, I still have to maintain that disgusting and hypocritical smile as always.

The sufferings in the world are too numerous to be counted. While the suffering is reincarnated, people are always confused by the little temptation/happiness. Plagues, wars, I can't think of a reason why I have been satisfied.

Thousands of years ago, those short-lived crimes and bad qualities were constantly reincarnated. What can I be satisfied with?I'm not a good person, I'm not a bad person, at least not right now, it's black and white, and I've become a third color.I've met a lot of people, and a lot of people are like me, either black or white, gray.

Talking too much is always unheard of, and doing too much is always annoying.Health, meaningless.

"Aurora..."

A person living in a disgusting reality had a dream, a dream in which an angel came to the world. The scene in the dream was no longer his own life of repeated struggles, nor was it the horrible nightmare locked in his heart. No longer turbid, complicated and entangled, no longer awakened, what I dreamed was a beautiful scenery that I had never seen in my life.

"I saw the aurora, it was beautiful! I vaguely saw an angel waving to me."

"Well, you are right, foreign countries are very good, thank you for your hospitality!"

"But... I think I'll have to go back..."

A woman, her back is facing me, brown shawl curly hair, wearing a long skirt, she is talking on the phone, her voice is very soft, I think she should be beautiful, she... just appeared in my dream, I In my dream, there is a rare and beautiful thing, I am looking forward to the woman in the dream turning around, I want to see her appearance, but she disappears with the aurora...

I had a dream, and when I woke up, the cold sweat all over my body sent the chills down my spine, because the woman who appeared in my dream this time was no longer the woman in red who was pestering me to change her life, but "She", the woman who made me go to the execution platform willingly instead, the woman who lied to me in order to kill me in the end, I hate her, I don't love her enough, because I found that I was just infatuated, ghost Fascinated by the heart, fascinated by the ghost's heart.That woman has an English name, which is as stunning, mysterious, and gorgeous as her person——Aurora.

But one thing has to be admitted, she is not a goddess, but a female devil.

Devil head, these three words remind me of another person who passed by in my life. That man is not my friend, but his madness is enough to leave a deep impression on me. He, I like the female devil very much, and I always willingly bow down under the skirt that hides the poison. Like me, I am fascinated by ghosts.

Bowing her noble knees and bowing her proud head, the witch head gave him all the humiliation he wanted. I know it's exciting for some people, but in my opinion, these people may not necessarily die Cheer for it when you go to hell later.

"Hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me..." He always begged like this.

Can the pain born in life be resolved in another painful way?This kind of sinking must be destined to go to hell, but he has already stepped into hell first. Human beings are always happy to toss themselves non-stop.Those tortures, those hells, are self-inflicted.

I actually liked angels at first, Aurora was like an angel at first, but later, she fell and became a devil, so I also fell in love with a devil, so in fact I am the real "devil" "How could she cause pain in the end?Only then did I realize that love and passion/lust are her sharp swords, and I have no way to escape, and those depraved fantasies almost killed me.

"Hits me, hits me, hits me, hits me, hits me, hits me..." When the man who is not a friend at all asks, in the end, I kill him, I hope he will like it His new place, he's bound to love it, hell.

Life is impermanent, but in the hell where time and space are distorted, impermanence is impermanence.

I never asked Aurora to hit me and control me, but it wasn't until after I killed the crazy obsessed man that I discovered what Aurora really wanted.

As a woman to conquer a man, this is what she wants.If I could have used another method to treat her back then, maybe the current situation would no longer be like this. I am not afraid of pain, I am only afraid of the unknown.

After the silence, the people who were already in hell were kicked into the real hell by me, and the female devil who belonged to hell disappeared.Of course I knew that she would not die so easily, so I didn't visit her grave, even once.My free new life was actually a source of satisfaction, a satisfaction that made me feel ashamed and blamed at the same time.But that doesn't get in the way too much.Just like it won't hinder me from continuing to enjoy the sunshine every day in my life.

One cloudy day, I had a dream again, a nightmare, the woman in the red skirt came back to me again, on the Yin-Yang bridge in the dream, she finally grabbed my neck, hard, hard, hard... But she still Failed to choke me because I woke up and I was choking myself, and a person can't choke himself, because at the last moment, he will lose his strength.

I sat up, and the cold sweat all over my body has long been used to it. I found that every time I dreamed of that woman, there would always be a lot of commotion, and Zhao Boyang was always there. Every year today, he always exist.Now, he is here, holding his favorite shell in his arms.

Zhao Boyang raised a British shorthair cat named Shell, and that cat didn’t like me very much. This may be because I have too much ghost energy in my body. Animals don’t like me too much, so I don’t keep dogs or cats. Cat, cat, psychic.

"It's her?" Zhao Boyang asked while sitting next to him.

"Well, it's her." I nodded, tired.

She came to me again, look, look, how interesting my new life is, two female devils are constantly tormenting me, one controls my body, the other controls my nerves, but God knows I fucking hate being controlled!It's going on and on like this, I'm going crazy.

"Meow~" At this moment, Shell called out, Zhao Boyang put it on my bed, turned around and closed the door to leave.

"Meow~meow~" it continued to cry, but it should not be angry.

Actually, I don't like animals and children very much.I hugged the cat and fell asleep again, and I had no more dreams that night.

…A sweet smoke was mixed with the falling ribbons. My head was so dizzy that I couldn’t get it clear. Accompanied by cheers, I could hear myself falling to the ground.Then just like the recent 'plot'... I fell into a dream, a dream of thick fog.

At this time, it was the scene when my senior and I met for the first time, drug addiction and pranks on the dissection table, I think it was enough to impress me.

The senior's younger sister is even more unforgettable for me.

Wen Tao's younger sister is a full ten years younger than him, but every time I see that little girl, I always have the illusion that this child is actually Tianshan Child Elder?He looks like a child on the outside, but inside he is an old monster with a childlike innocence.Since there is a case like mine, I think there is a high chance that Wen Tao’s younger sister is a Tianshan Child Elder. Her name is Wen Jie.

The biggest feature of Wen Jie is that she always maintains an exaggerated smiling face. The little girl who loves to smile has a lot of bad water in her stomach. Her preferences are also very special, because she neither likes beautiful sisters nor She doesn't like a handsome brother, she said, wishing all lovers in the world will get married eventually!The little girl who insists on the existence of true feelings between men and men is very special, especially when her elder brother Wen Tao always shows a helpless expression when he thinks of these things.

In fact, I didn’t express my opinion at the time. In fact, the relationship between men and women in the world is empty and ethereal. You are a man in this life, and you may be a woman in the next life, so the physical gender has no meaning at all, but it is just a matter of life. kind of division.People are reincarnated, living without self, and their memory and temperament are washed clean over and over again.

With a restarted life, the soul also restarted, and there was no backlog of pain but it was even more cruel.

Ten years ago, when Wen Tao was a hot-blooded and reckless young man, he was praised as a genius. Indeed, he was a very smart person.At that time, when he was in middle school, he was rebellious and had a friend who was always by his side to give encouragement. The boy was Li Fei. He was 15 years old when he died. He couldn’t see the fireworks of the millennium. Swept the tomb for ten years.After I found out about this, Wen Jie said with a treacherous smile, my brother has always had that person in his heart.

Wen Tao naturally has Li Fei in his heart, but I think this kind of emotion is quite different from what Wen Jie understands.Later I went to the tomb to have a look, and happened to meet Wen Tao, so I lied that I was here to visit Aurora's grave, and the bouquet of white roses in my hand was pierced after I told that lie out of my hand.Li Fei happened to be in the same cemetery with Aurora, but Li Fei had been dead for ten years, and Aurora made an empty grave in an attempt to make me give up.At that moment, I suddenly had an idea, if I can find her again, I will definitely reverse our previous subordinate relationship, I will completely control her, and then really send her to this grave.

There was no wind or cloud, Wen Tao calmly took me to see the tomb of his dead friend. In the black-and-white photo on the tombstone, the 15-year-old boy was forever stuck in the past in his heart, and the boy smiled very gently. , with two small dimples on her delicate face...

I just found out a little bit then.It turns out that the kind of emotion that Wen Jie understands may not be wrong, because when I was surprised to find that Wen Tao was kneeling in front of Li Fei’s tomb and weeping, his strength and pride were all overwhelmed by the smile of the person in the photo on the tombstone. It was broken so easily that he didn't care if there was an enemy and friend beside me watching him.

Later, Wen Tao made a girlfriend, and the two were inseparable. I didn't tell him that I could tell that that person was Li Fei's reincarnation, because this issue was no longer important.

The world is impermanent, I have seen it, but it is better not to see it, it is best not to see it, at least there are not so many troubles.I don't know if I will be reincarnated after a hundred years this time, but I believe that if I reincarnate, I should not be reborn as a human being.People are really contradictory. While complaining about the pain of being a human being, they don’t want to become a beast. In fact, what is the difference between a human being and a beast?

Xia Ye, after Wen Tao made a girlfriend, Wen Jie seemed to be in a low mood. When I told her that the woman named Xiao Yanan was the reincarnation of Li Fei, she returned to her enthusiastic state, as if she had won a big prize Similarly, she proudly showed off her foresight to me.

Perhaps, Wen Jie’s world is the most beautiful one. In fact, when I found out that she sincerely hoped that the two enemies who fought to the death would turn into lingering lovers, I also agreed with this point of view.It's better to fall into the world's little love than to die and die, but it's a pity that unless the people in this world collectively become crazy, otherwise, this is impossible.

Regarding Wen Jie's interests, I suddenly remembered a past event that I have always kept secret. I heard that such behavior would be hanged at a certain period, so I hoped that I would be hanged as soon as possible.But before I was hanged to death, I discovered that there were no boundaries in this world. The boundaries were drawn by people and erased by people.

Seeing the people around me gain happiness one by one, but I am still alone, I can't help but start to miss the female devil who tormented me. I hope that she will come back, even if she is controlled and obliterated again.I went to the execution ground instead of her, but she wanted to cut off my head in advance. I found out that I was always in hell.

Fate is something that cannot be avoided.

"I want you to go to hell!" These are the original words of Mo Yan, I want to give him back these words, but I can't, because he is Mo Ran's real brother, how can I just say it casually What about vicious words?Even if the opponent provoked first.

"I'm already in hell..."

"When I give in to temptation..."

Going to hell and suffering in the world with the memories of several lives, this is my destiny, and it is also the game of the manipulator.I am constantly being tempted, constantly falling, and constantly being led into the void, I know this is the real punishment, I watch many people die, but I stop at the original point, I can't do anything .

Over the years, if fate hadn't played tricks on people like this, perhaps I would have been a person who simply envied beauty instead of hating it!

Tobe, ornottobe: that is the question...

To be or not to be, this is a question worth considering...As for me, whether I will die under the painful but joyous pleasure/feeling of being pierced by a high-heeled shoe or under the cruel mercy of the enemy, this is also A question worth pondering.

Let's go to hell, hell is purer than the world, this is something only demons can say.

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