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Desire, but can't grasp, truth, belief.

-------Inscription

After walking for a long time, most of the time it was like playing hide-and-seek with the other two teams on this island, shuttling among the forest leaves, those broad-leaved plants and towering giant trees.

I suddenly realized that this island might also be within the scope of my desire: it evokes an ancient and decayed memory, so old that I have morphed into a brand new individual, but it still lingers.Those mysterious, bloody sacrifices, people's fear, admiration, belief...

Xia Jun was finally tired from walking, and no longer insisted on reaching the sky in one step, looking for that illusory "treasure".

How could it be so easy to lead him to follow the marks on the map?In fact, I will never tell him how many chips I have in my hand and how sure I can win.

can i win

I can!

The body is no longer a body, it is just a carrier in comparison, but I still feel tired and achy. These things seem to be imprinted on the soul, not to mention boredom!

"Reality." Xia Jun said suddenly.He leaned against the trunk of a giant tree and slid slowly to sit down. The soil was wet and salty. My vision and senses were infinitely amplified, so I had to pay attention to every detail of his movements, as well as trousers and shoes. smudges on.

"Dirty, disgusting. This is reality." He sat down completely, and let out a long breath, "But it doesn't mean it's fate, does it?"

"Oh? So, you mean you want to change..." Change what?What do you want to change? !I looked at him condescendingly, enjoying the momentary overlooking perspective. After all, most of the days he was always firmly on top of me, so that accommodating became a habit and developed arrogance.

"Do not."

"I don't want to change my fate, I don't want to change my fate, I just..."

"Damn it! Just wanted to know what the hell it was all about!"

"Seriously, Officer Xia." I stood there, staring at the top of his drooping head, spinning... "You are already very lucky." This is indeed true, Xia Jun and the word "unfortunate" are almost the same It's completely out of touch, even though he had an unsatisfactory childhood and adolescence, it is undeniable.He is lucky.

Lucky to be a sadist, not a masochist.

"Oh. Of course I know this..." Before he could speak, Xia Jun suddenly raised his head, looked directly at me, and said, "But... Yin Yu..." The sound of the last word seems to be very nasal, I began to wonder if his physical condition was suffering again. "What's wrong with you? Your eyes..."

"not like this!"

Those eyes that belong to the human soul cannot deceive anyone, even though they were once cunning and absurd, full of nonsensical drama, even if he saw all the filth and darkness, but they contained hesitation, cowardice, and confusion.I was struggling in the past, and I am also struggling now. I am always struggling for the same reason, but I am destined to be transformed and changed.

I don't want to change, so I decide to change - sounds like a contradiction?But that's what it is.

"My eyes can now see farther and see more." I said, walked into him, sat down opposite him, the wet and cold breath of the soil permeated through the fabric and conveyed to my senses, I finally had a reason I believe that Xia Jun will catch a cold.I said, "The me you know may never have been the real me, so why worry about it now?"

"I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about myself."

"Okay. What are you worried about?"

"Worried I'm really attached to a devil. Really."

"You call this: 'Love'?" I couldn't help laughing, but I suppressed it. I thought that after I was no longer a creature between humans and ghosts, I should learn to be "serious".In a way, I really shouldn't be smiling all the time, which makes me look more like a lunatic.Human lunatics.

"Jun Xia. Officer Xia. Dear." I shook my head and called him repeatedly, rolled up my sleeves, and stretched my arms in front of him. I will throw away this skin...

"You said 'love'? Please don't slap yourself! Look at what you've done!"

"You are a complete sadist! Xia Jun! You don't deserve to use the word 'love'!"

"You still want to play the 'tender man' thing? You make the devil feel ashamed of you!" "Oh! Damn hypocritical human! Self-righteous guy!"

"Frankly, what do you want?" I grabbed his collar, pulled him closer, and asked.

……

"I want power."

……

"You know? I once did a little practice when none of you knew..."

"Time freezes."

"I did very well, as if I was fully awakened. Even without the so-called 'Moonlight Box', I can manipulate time for a short time. Of course, it is only limited to stopping it."

"On the boat, I let my soul go out of my body and got into another physical body..."

"There, in a certain city, there was a gay couple who had been together for 11 years. They fell in love with each other since they were students and lived together until now. One of them had an affair.

and a 19-year-old boy. "

"The other party, who was almost broken at the time, backed out, pretending that he didn't know anything, and both of them were kept in the dark by the other party, trying their best to maintain this so-called 'relationship'.

look!You are always like this, indecisive, with serious self-harm tendencies!It is simply in a hypocritical mode and cannot extricate itself! "

"So... I appeared in front of that man who pretended to be ignorant of his partner's cheating..."

Having said that, I stopped my narration and looked at Xia Jun who was thinking deeply across the way with a smile.

"What did you do to them?" He sounded a little nervous.It seemed to be an act of distrusting me from the bottom of my heart.

"Nothing was done," I said, "I showed up to the man and showed him the truth."

"I told him I could help him with everything: betrayal, hurt, exhaustion..."

"But he refused?" Xia Jun asked.

"You guessed it, but this is not the end." I said, holding his left hand, twisting the tungsten steel ring worn on the middle finger, "The ending is never what people imagined. Everyone They all think that they can solve the problem very well, but completely ignore the root of the problem! Boredom, fatigue, years, wear and tear."

"Just like you, Officer Xia."

I held his cheek with my left hand, "Now you are young, handsome, and full of vitality. You have a future, ambition, and unlimited future... But what about when you get old? At that time, you think nothing but attractive Besides wealth, do you still have the capital to make those little cuties bow their heads?

The realistic ending is within 30 years!On the bed, you have to endure the perfunctory disgust from your bed partner, your waist will no longer be strong, your skin will become rough and loose, your stomach will bulge like a pregnant woman, and you even have to rely on those little blue pills Come please those little bitch's asses! "

"This—is the real ending. Your relationship has faded and flaws continue. The lucky ones are in jeopardy but they can barely survive until death, and the unlucky ones are only embarrassed and broken!"

"You are too pessimistic. Yin Yu." It took Xia Jun a long time to say such a sentence, but it is undeniable that he seemed to be able to imagine that miserable and embarrassing scene.

Bald, fat waist and belly, no longer strong, the skin and muscles on the arms are slack... At that time, every love talk, every whip, every violence will fade away from the delicate and false youthful shell, and become Absolutely disgusting and disgusting perverted behavior!

"But you thought about the consequences, didn't you?" I coaxed.

"Now, you know the ending of that couple." I said, and then he stretched out his hand to push me away from holding his cheek, and instead held that hand tightly, he said to me solemnly: " Give me strength."

……

So easy to fall, so easy to sell your soul to the devil - hell is still far away!Death is still far away! —Everyone thinks so.

"Give me strength. What I have to do...is..."

But obviously, Xia Jun was moved by me, but it was not about "wear and tear", but about "choice".

……

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