Wrong Changhuan

On that day, the flowers at the foot of the west mountain in Wuyou Valley bloomed very brightly, as if they had infinite vitality and had nowhere to vent.Accompanied by the warm sun and gentle wind, the colorfulness also shattered my dreams and witnessed the rest of my life.

In fact, when I asked Chenyu the truth that day, I thought I was already prepared.After all, since I was a child, my mother's attitude towards me is not difficult to guess.I thought that ignoring and abandoning was already the biggest punishment for me.

But when Chen Yu said that dead word, I still overestimated my calmness.

Or maybe it was me who overestimated my weight in my mother's heart out of self-indulgence, or maybe it was me who underestimated her hatred again.

At that moment, no matter how warm the sun shines on the body, there is only a chill.

Later, when all the dust settled, I was a little lucky. Fortunately, Chen Yu reminded me first, so that I would not be so embarrassed and helpless when I saw her again.

That day, I stayed in front of Xishan for a long time.Chenyu also accompanied me for a long time.

He kept talking, as if he wanted to restore the water that was thrown out.But I didn't hear a word of those words.

I don't know how long I was in a daze, until I saw that Chen Yu also blushed and burst into tears.

I said, Chenyu, please help me pick a bouquet of flowers. If A Niang wakes up and sees the flowers, she must be very happy.

Chenyu said, okay, but you sit here and don't move.

I said, don't worry, I cherish my life so much, you'd better concentrate on picking flowers, I don't want ugly flowers.

Only then did Chenyu enter the flower bush under all kinds of urgings.Seeing him turning his head back from time to time but not daring to go far away, his expression and movements somewhat overlap with the white figure who picked flowers and sent me to me in Zizai Valley.

Maybe the sun is a little strong, I can't see it clearly, but I like the haze.

At that time, I wished that Ah Cuo was here.

Perhaps, in this way, I have a reason to throw myself into her arms and cry a lot.Perhaps, sadness is only a moment, and it will not haunt me for too long.

Perhaps, she would comfort me and say, don't be afraid, you still have me.

But fate is not in my hands.Like, never in my hands.

I thought that the rest of my life was my choice, just like a flat boat in the river, drifting was my resistance to fate, but now I understand that being scattered after wandering is my fate.

And the person who gave me the final blow was the one who gave birth to me, the one who couldn't tolerate my resistance.

At first, it was just vague, I didn't know the whole story, I wanted to know the truth, but I was afraid of knowing the truth.

Later, I hated my gut.It didn't lie to me.Perhaps, it has already seen everything, but it just didn't tell me.

That day, when I was walking back with Chenyu and the bouquet of flowers, my uncle was already waiting halfway.

I said, Uncle, look at this flower, is it pretty?

My uncle said, it looks good, just as good-looking as Chang Huan.

Afterwards, my uncle didn't speak, just took over Chen Yu's job, pushed the wheelchair and walked back slowly.

Creaking and creaking, only the sound of wooden wheels pressing against the red brick floor broke the awkward silence.I couldn't see the eyes of the people behind me, but I could feel the confusion and unwillingness of that heart, as if thousands of threads were entangled in one place.

It wasn't until the gate of the south courtyard that my uncle whispered that he wouldn't let me do anything, no matter who it was or what it was for.

I said, good.

But I know that if my mother wants to do it, my uncle will not be able to stop it if he wants to.

Back in the south courtyard, Xie Baitang was still asleep, so I asked Aunt Rong to push me into the west room.I think when she wakes up, the first thing she sees is this bouquet of flowers and me.

Aunt Rong didn't object, she just rubbed my head and said Madam did not hurt me in vain.

But I know that this kindness starts from guilt, burns from hatred, is reborn from love and compassion, and will eventually be silenced when I run away.

After all, I owe her too much.

But I also wanted to spend the rest of my life being filial in return.

I know that everything will not go as I wish.If this is the case, at least before the verdict comes, I still want to linger a little more of that tenderness.

On that day, Xie Baitang was sleeping peacefully on the bed, and I watched her quietly until the sun was rising.

That quiet time was beautiful.It's just that time goes by too fast.

I engrave and copy her appearance in my mind over and over again. I am afraid that if one day I am gone, I will forget her appearance, and will it be like being in countless nightmares, where the more The mother's appearance became more and more blurred, and in the end, only a dizzy outline remained.

Quietly, without knowing why, tears flowed down my face.

Xie Baitang woke up, and I saw how moved and relieved she was when she saw the flower, as well as the surprise and panic that followed.

She asked me when I came, why didn't I wake her up, wiped my tears for me, and asked me why I was crying.

I smiled and said, maybe the pollen accidentally caught my eyes, Aunt, do you like this flower?

She said, she likes it, as long as it is given by Xiaonuan, she likes it.

I burst into laughter.She sniffed the flowers, looked left and right, put another vase in, and asked me back, what do you want as a reward?

I said, mother, can you give me a hug?

She smiled and said, "I asked you what you want as a reward, but you kid gave me a reward instead."

Still, she hugged me.

It was not the longest hug since we met her, but it was the warmest one.I am greedy for the medicinal fragrance and addicted to the warmth, but I know that I shouldn't let her see the difference and worry about me.

In the next few days, it was very calm, but calm was also a kind of beauty.

On the tenth day, my trauma was healed. Although I could only walk a few small steps, as long as my hands were not carrying heavy objects, it was fine. At least I could eat by myself.

My uncle's serious face also moved.Chen Yu was happy for me and proposed to hold a celebratory dinner for me. Xie Baitang did not object. In the end, even Guzhu and his wife, Xiao Chengran and the third grandfather also came to join in the fun.

Xie Baitang did the cooking himself, and Aunt Rong was busy cooking a table of dishes.I don't know where Chen Yu got the wine, the best sweet-scented osmanthus stuffing, I drank a lot, but I wasn't drunk.

At the banquet, Chen Yu pretended to be mysterious again, explaining that there was a surprise for me tomorrow, and that the surprise was a friend, a friend we both knew.

That night, although I drank alcohol, I still didn't sleep well.Regarding the surprise in Chen Yu's mouth, I was half expecting and half sad.

So, the dream in the second half of the night was full of Ah Cuo.

I thought that among the friends Chen Yu and I had in common, apart from Chen Yang, Ah Cuo was the only one.And Chenyang...

In the afternoon of the next day, people came.

It's not wrong, it's every year.

Lost, self-evident.

But the so-called surprise was far more than that, because in the group that entered the valley together in the same year, there were two most important people, one was Chen Yu's master, Qin Zhong, and the other was my mother, Lin Yu'er.

These people, I never thought I would see them in the Valley of No Worry.So the surprise turned into a shock, and I wasn't the only one.

The moment my mother entered the door, I took Xie Baitang's hand and let go of it like a ghost.And my uncle and Chen Yu, who followed behind my mother, were also worried.

I fiddled with the skirt nervously, stood aside, and hung my head.

The footsteps are getting closer and closer, but I dare not look into the eyes of the person coming.

The uncle said, elder sister, you are tired all the way, why don't you take a rest first, and talk about it later if you have anything to do.

But these words seemed to be deliberately ignored by my mother. In the end, she stopped three feet away from me, and sounded a slightly unfamiliar tone, although it was neither cold nor warm.

Mother said, you all go out, and Chang Huan stays.

The uncle was not reconciled, and tried to talk to his mother again, but was rejected again.Mother's attitude was firm, as always.

Xie Baitang seemed to see my nervousness, and was about to speak, but I shook my head to stop, and then I signaled her, it's okay.Although she was reluctant to leave, she still couldn't resist Aunt Rong's pull.

Everyone went out, and the room suddenly became empty, only the two of us were left.

I summoned up my courage, broke the silence first, and looked up at the person coming.

I said, what does mother want me to do?

She didn't seem to expect me to ask this question, and it seemed that what she wanted to say was too difficult to say, so she just looked at me silently, didn't speak for a long time, and then sat down in a decadent manner.

At that moment, I even had an illusion that she seemed to be much older all of a sudden.

She said that he didn't have much time... Even Yang Yan's Rejuvenation Pill didn't work anymore.

He, I know it's Murong Ji.

When I said this, I saw the reluctance in her eyes, and the love that had been concealed with hatred.At that moment, I felt that she was also very pitiful.

I gave a wry smile, and the moment I lowered my head, I suppressed the bitterness in my chest.

I said, what do I need to do?

This sentence is mature and calm, and it also deceived myself.

In fact, since I knew this day would come, I have already made up my mind, right?

The people I love, as long as they are the ones I love, even if there is no return for the sacrifices, I love them silently, give up my life for them, give up everything, and have no regrets, right?

Later, I didn't even realize it myself. It turns out that since I was sensible, I have filled my heart with many people, many people I love.From second uncle, uncle, to younger uncle, third uncle, uncle Wen, and mother.Later, I met Ah Cuo, and the biggest place was her.Later, Xie Baitang, and Chenyang...my Chenyang.

I thought that Murong Ji was just a passer-by in my life. Although I didn't want to have anything to do with him, if he begged me to save her and exchange his life for another, I think I would also be willing.

He gave me life and saved me in the Blind Mountain.I can't turn a blind eye, can't really treat people like passers-by.

And I, after all, am a duplicity person, after all, I can't make up my mind to cut off the chaotic past.

My uncle always said that people who treat others better than themselves will live a very tiring life, and will only end up with scars and bruises on themselves. Why bother?

But if you can let the people you care about be good, everything is worth it, isn't it?

Even if that person is Murong Ji.And he was also the one that my mother never let go of in her heart.

What's more, the person who came to tell me about this today is my mother.

And I don't want her to be in trouble.

Those words that are difficult to say, if you find it difficult to speak, I will speak for you first.

I said, I am willing, no matter what I am asked to do... I am willing.

Then, I saw tears in my mother's eyes.

she cried.

I wanted to hug her so much, but I only took one step forward, and after all, I didn't have the courage to take the remaining steps.

What is it that lies between us in just two steps?I didn't think about it anymore, and I didn't want to do the fearless struggle again.

I said, didn't the second uncle and uncle come together?

She said, Yang Yan, I didn't let him come. Qin Zhong said that you are in Wuyou Valley. Xie Baitang's medical skills here are no worse than Yang Yan's. Qin Zhong also brought the old imperial doctor from the palace...

It turned out that she knew that Yang Yan's arrival would only hinder her plan.

I said, will my mother accompany me this time?

After asking this question, seeing the surprise in the opposite pair of eyes, I felt a little regretful.

I tried to smile and said, I was just asking casually, my mother must have many things about the company, I understand.

Night fell quietly, and the night seemed not as dark as expected.

This time, I am not afraid.At that time, I thought that if I could overcome the fear of darkness in my heart, there was nothing I could not overcome.

I can wait for Ah Cuo to come back, I can wait for the summer rain, spring flowers, autumn wind, and next year's winter plums, and cook wine and tea with her.

I thought, I still have time.

I thought, I'm not afraid.

However, I was wrong.

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The author has something to say:

@智川结果篇, mainly based on No.1 Chen’s self-report, please~