Wrong Changhuan

As the night fell, the red lanterns under the porch had been lit, and the light of the moon was reflected on the carved window lattices.

My mother got up and slowly opened the door, and I also saw the people waiting anxiously in the courtyard - Xie Baitang who was supported by Aunt Rong and looking forward to it, the uncle who stood with his head bowed without saying a word, and the one who was kneeling beside Qin Zhong. Chen Yu.

Then, the mother called Qin Zhong in.

Before the door closed, I only heard Xie Baitang's slightly nervous "Xiao Nuan" and Chen Yu's kowtow.

I pretended to be calm and lit half of the red candle in the house, which was specially prepared by Aunt Rong for the celebration banquet. At that time, she said, use red candles to celebrate.

It took only a moment for the flame to go from erratic to blazing.

Then, a pot of wine was put on the table by Qin Zhong, and he took out a white jade wine cup and poured a glass.

Alone, I know it's for me.

I asked, what kind of wine?

Poisoned alcohol, he said.

I asked, what poison?

He said, Heart Devouring Gu.

I asked, after drinking this wine, will he...will heal?

He said yes.

I don't speak anymore.

I've also drank poisoned wine before, but this is the first time for poisoned wine...

I lowered my head and smiled wryly. Just as I reached out to hold the wine cup, another slightly cold hand on the opposite side grabbed my wrist suddenly.

The wine spilled a little on the table due to trembling, causing a slight pain in the wrist.

I looked up and looked at the opposite side, and my mother looked at me too.

The moment my eyes met, I actually saw a trace of reluctance in her eyes.Then, she let go of her hand abruptly, avoiding her eyes, got up and stumbled to the door.

I saw her hand on the door frame for a long time without looking back.

She said, you're young, you can get through it... you'll be fine... you'll be fine...

The phrase "it will be fine", like a bowl of sweet soup after a bitter medicine, may have brought her some comfort, and it also brought me a verdict that cannot be delayed.

So under Qin Zhong's gaze, I slowly picked up the wine glass.

I stared at the wine glass in my hand, recalling what Chen Yu had said. He said that this wine might kill me.At that time, I only felt that I had survived so many times of pain and narrow escapes, and the possibility Chen Yu said was just a guess, wasn't it?If it is true as what my mother said, it will be fine, so it is considered a little repayment of the kindness of giving birth to me and making up for a little rift between me and her.Maybe, I can still have it, and I can also imagine the mother-daughter relationship between me and her in the future.

The crimson candlelight shone on the top-quality white jade wine glass, like a piece of peerless blood jade, especially the color, very much like the concentric jade I gave Ah Cuo.

I said, it's a pity to make a wine glass out of such beautiful jade, but it's not a waste.Then, with a raised neck, the wine has entered the mouth, passes through the throat, and sinks into the stomach.

Then, I looked towards the door and met my mother's eyes.

I smiled and said, this wine is not bad.With this sentence, tears overflowed his eyes involuntarily.Then, I saw the wax oil on the side of the candle body also quietly flowing down the candle body.

It turned out that I was not alone.It turns out that no matter how festive the red candle is, it still cannot escape the end of tears.

I remember how my mother and Qin Zhong looked when they left, but I couldn't remember what the white-bearded old doctor said after coming in to take the pulse.Every sentence is like the chirping of cicadas in summer, just the background noise of that night, I just sat at the table so stupidly, watching the red candles light up bit by bit.

I vaguely remember the chaos that followed.That was when the old doctor left, and after Chen Yu, his uncle, and Xie Baitang rushed in, they asked questions with concern.

I opened my mouth, but when I met the anxious eyes of everyone, I didn't know what to say after all.

It was also at that time that I clearly remember the feeling when the pain came for the first time, as if my heart was suddenly caught in one place, and the perception of the whole body was instantly magnified many times.

I grabbed my uncle's sleeve and stood up, pretending that everything was as usual.

I said, uncle, I have something to tell you.

Then, we went out the door.

I heard Xie Baitang calling me, but I didn't look back.

That was the fastest time since my leg was healed.When approaching the gate of the courtyard, Chen Yu also followed.At that time, I knew that Xie Baitang and Aunt Rong were also chasing after her.

I staggered, but luckily Chen Yu also helped me up.

I said, Chenyu, stop them.Then, with the support of my uncle, I resolutely left the courtyard.

Under the elm tree outside the door, I couldn't hold back the blood welling up in my throat from the bottom of my heart, and I felt a little more relaxed when I spit it out.

Seeing my uncle flustered, I wiped the corners of my mouth.

I said, I think I was wrong, uncle, I want to go back to Zizai Valley.

I'm afraid that Ah will find me by mistake, and she must be very anxious if she can't find me.

Uncle readily agreed.I think, if I want the stars in the sky at this moment, he will definitely find a way to get them for me.

The uncle said, Yang Yan must have a way to save you, Chang Huan, don't worry, the uncle will not let you die... you will be fine.

This is the second time I've heard the word dead.

What is death?

Is it a flower that is in bud in spring, and the branches were knocked down by a wind and rain before it bloomed?

Is it still a warm and warm sun, before it vents its warmth, is it dim after being quietly covered by dark clouds?

I said, I miss my uncle too.

My brother-in-law said, Eldest Sister...she's gone...would you resent her?

I froze for a moment, shook my head, and didn't speak.

It turned out that she had already left.

It turned out that she came here just to watch me drink the poisoned glass of wine with her own eyes.

It turned out that it was just that...

I turned my head to look at the closed courtyard door, Chen Yu's people were very conscientious, Xie Baitang did not chase after him.Fortunately, there was no pursuit.

I said, uncle, let's go tonight too.

He said, good.

I said, before I go, I have one more thing to do.

Then, accompanied by my uncle, we went to the courtyard of the owner of Wuyou Valley, and met Xiao Chengran and her mother, the wife of the owner of Wuyou Valley, Chu Chu.

I explained my purpose and begged Chu Chu to let Xiao Chengran be Xie Baitang's adopted daughter.In fact, I had this idea a few days ago since the day when Chen Yu and I went to Xishan to pick flowers, but I didn't expect the poisonous alcohol to attack so quickly.If the Regent, who has so much power in the world, can't cure it, what right do I have to say that I can definitely survive it.

Chu Chu said that she had intended it a long time ago, and she readily agreed.Fortunately, God was kind, and finally he was kind to me once, and everything went smoothly.

I thought, if one day I leave, I don't want Xie Baitang to be alone.I think that if one day I leave, there will be at least one person who can bring her comfort.

I think, I have to leave after all, instead of letting Xie Baitang see me suffer, I would rather bear it alone, let her forget me, even hate me, than let her watch me die with love .

But I have to face her after all.

So, before I left, I packed up my appearance, pretended nothing had happened, and went to the South Courtyard.

Along the way, I thought about what to say, and it wasn't until I met her and saw those worried eyes that I realized how cruel my words were.

I smiled and said, Mrs. Xie, I have to go.

Xie Baitang's face was full of astonishment, she said, what did you call me just now?

I pretended to be calm and said, Mrs. Xie, you have seen that the person who came today is my mother...she...is my biological mother.After all, I am not Lin Xiaonuan... I am Lin Changhuan, the daughter of Lin Yuer...My mother is telling me to go home, so I have to go...

After hearing this, Xie Baitang fell down on the stool.

I saw that she was crying.

She didn't say anything.That's right, what else can she say for the sake of what I said.

I saw that Aunt Rong shot eyes full of doubts and then reproaches.

I pretended not to see it all.

I wanted to go forward, but I didn't.

I said, Mrs. Xie, thank you these days.

Then, I went out without looking back.

It wasn't until I walked out of the courtyard that I gasped for breath and dared to let the tears I had been holding back stay.

Looking up, the moon in the night sky is the vacancy after the round, but the stars are still as bright as before.

On the way to Zizai Valley, I cried all the way.Chen Yu and his men followed the old doctor together.

I said, Uncle, I didn't even say a word of respect to her...

I said, uncle, I never want her to look at me like that.

It's because Xie Baitang's eyes are not unfamiliar, like the rainy night when we reunited in Xiaoguan City, the moment when she fed me Broken Heart Powder.Inside, there was resentment and blame, surprise and bewilderment, and a hidden trace of intolerance and involvement.

The carriage stopped when it entered Wuyou Town.

Then, at the curtain of the car, is Qin Zhong's face.

Qin Zhong said, thank you for being able to save the prince like this... The world only sees his power over the government and the people, covering the sky with one hand, but I know that his life these years has not been good at all...

But I don't know whether I did all this for my mother or for Murongji...

Perhaps, this question is no longer important now.Because Qin Zhong asked me, if there is any unfulfilled wish, as long as he can do it, he can help me realize it with all his strength.

I said, is there no cure for this poison?

Qin Zhong said, yes.

I asked, my mother she...does she know?

Qin Zhong said, I don't know.

I don't know whether I should be grateful or feel sorry for myself.Perhaps, this is at least a consolation.

I said, for the time being, I don't have any unfulfilled wishes.

Qin Zhong said, if you have one, you can ask Chenyu to tell me, and I will definitely finish it with all my might.

Then, he kowtowed to me.

I don't like people kneeling down for me.In my understanding, in the teachings Yang Yan gave me, I know that as a person, everyone has gold under their knees. Whether it is a man or a woman, they can bow to the kings and teachers of heaven and earth, but they can bow to their parents and elders. Feel free to bend your knees.

But this time, I didn't get out of the car to help.I thought, if this is all I got in exchange for my life, it would at least be worth it.

Use my useless life for a regent who can save the country from danger. That person can benefit thousands of people. More importantly, he is the person my mother loves deeply. worth it, no?

Maybe, this is the only useful place in my life, maybe... this is the only meaning of being a human being in my life...

Later, the days in Zizai Valley were too ordinary.I'm languishing in waiting.

I am waiting for my Ah Cuo, waiting for her to come looking for me.

I waited and waited, it felt like I had waited for a long time, and the days felt like years, but in the end, only Man Qiu and a few killers from Mingyue Tower came.

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The author has something to say:

I write the last chapter with tears in my eyes. . .I abused myself, and I abused you too. . . @智川, @西东@罗神, I was wrong. . .